Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

Frankly I'm a little bit worried about the long term ecological impact of nuking Mega Bear from orbit. Shit, most of what's left is gonna wind up in Erie, even if I felt safe enough sending Marie and whoever else wanted to volunteer in to break down as much as they could before it rots. I'm also now deeply concerned about where it came from. Like, seriously, I didn't spend much time in orbit before dropping back down to the Homestead, but I did a quick scan around the perimeter of the lake. Something that fuckin' big couldn't have gotten into the lake without leaving a trail, but when I checked? No fuckin' trail.

Which means that it came from under the surface. Okay, maybe it's been hibernating under there for a while, but that doesn't make a lot of sense looking at the other bears. Either they went in later and just woke up all at the same time, roughly, or they all went in at the same time and there's no reason for them to be waking up all at once, or, I dunno, something under the water is making magnum sized bears. Or maybe the Earth here is hollow and they're all coming from King Kong's place or some shit like that? I have no real idea, but hopefully Saffron's got some more information for me.

But no matter where it came from, it's dead as fuck and decaying in Lake Erie. I'm not sure what that's gonna do, but it sure as fuck can't be good for the lake. I dunno, maybe we can get some carnivorous Kraken in here to start noshing on it and turning it into Kraken shit, but I'm not sure if that's gonna be all that much better.

So once I confirmed that Mega Bear was dead as fuck, I stepped back down to the ground. I hollered at Mega Bear's collapsed face, shuffled around looking for a rock to throw at it for a bit. When I couldn't find one, I tried Shaping a Fire Bolt just to poke the big dead motherfucker with. Like, yeah, I could still see the fire burning on its back, but somehow I just wanted to be a little bit extra sure. When my Mana kinda wobbled and I realized every inch of my exposed skin tingled, I swore a lot and stepped directly back to the Homestead showers, collapsing the me in M-Space to myself as I did. "Siobhan! Shit, shit, shit, ow, Siobhan!" Siobhan!

She showed up in the Bath a few moments later. I'd set Vulcan under one water spigot, then stepped under another one and turned the cold water on. "What's wrong Tabi... oh, sweet Canta you look like you've been broiled!"

"Yeah, I did something dumb."

She stepped over to me, hands weaving an Assess Health as she did. "Did the Dire Bear breathe fire? Wait, this can't be right, it says you're sunburned? Well, burned and sunburned?"

"Yeah. I kinda nuked the fucker. Um, six times? Shot him with Vulcan, who was showing off, until I was sure the fucking thing was dead. Then I got particularly stupid and went to check on ground zero."

She Shaped Mana and lay cool, soothing hands on my shoulders. She shook her head as she slowly ran them across my skin. "But... it's night? How did you get sunburned at night?"

I snorted. "Uh, the part of the sunlight that causes sunburns?" She shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, that part isn't really visible. Anyway, what Vulcan did saturated the area with something like that. Not to mention raising the temperature to like a bajillion degrees for a bit. So it's physically hot, too." Bit by bit she eased my clothes off, her hands erasing the feel of my body cooking itself. "Toss the clothes by Vulcan. I don't think I stuck around long enough to be radioactive myself, but better safe than sorry."

"Does water help?"

"Uh, I think so? I'm honestly not sure. It doesn't not help though."

Right about then Saffron showed up. She cocked her head and looked at us for a few moments, then Shaped something suspiciously like Doc Roberts' new Mana Analysis Spell, at which point she started blinking, then shook her head while laughing just a little. "Sorry, love. It's like you seek out new and interesting ways to demolish yourself when you get bored." A few moments later, she nodded and said, "both of you hold still, please." She Shaped a Filtration ward big enough to cover Vulcan, my clothes, Siobhan and me, then slowly closed her splayed fingers into a fist as it shrank. When the surface of it pulled through me, it stung like a bitch, but where it passed I had less 'still cooking myself' feeling and more 'been cooked' feeling. By the time her fist closed, the Filtration ward was maybe an inch across and scintillated like a star in the night sky.

"Thanks, Kitten. What are you gonna do with that?"

She shrugged. "I'll drop it into the Mana Flows beneath the Homestead. It's not quite the same type of energy, but it's close enough that it should disperse more or less harmlessly."

"Harmlessly? That?"

"More or less. It won't be any more dangerous to be down in those holes after I add this."

I nodded. "Gotta make sure the kids know not to go down there."

"I take it you haven't been?"

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"Nope."

"That would be why you didn't see the vault doors."

I nodded. "So we tell Menace that the Vault doors are for her and her sisters' protection?"

She grimaced. "You're right. Good catch. I'll be back." With that she wandered out the back exit of the Bath.

Soon after, Siobhan finished up healing the last of my burns. "Would you like to rinse off in the shower, or maybe soak in the Bath?"

I sighed. "Sorry, but I've got to do something first." I walked over, fished Vulcan and his case out of the pile of my clothes, and said, "you did good up there today, buddy. Lemme get you cleaned off."

She went down to nominally oversee the kids' dinner while I spent like an hour going over everything, making sure he didn't have any water left in him, polishing what needed to be polished, then putting everything away properly. Before I closed his lid, I looked around. "Where have you been living lately, son?"

Right about then Saffron walked back into the room. "In our suite at the Academy. He and Conrad are the only ones still there. Well, I do my research there, but that's hardly 'living' there."

"Can you find a spot for him here?" I handed his case up.

She reached down, took my wrist, and hoisted me up, at which point I cramped up and stumbled. "What's wrong?"

"Fired off six full power shots. Well, near enough as to make no difference. Little... uh... tender."

She snorted. "Only you, love. I take it the Dire Bear is dead?"

"Mega Bear and everything within minimum safe distance. Dead as fuck. Shit, a lot of the stuff in M-space is just as dead. Where are these fuckin' things coming from?"

"May I?" She lay a hand on my temple. I nodded, and she closed her eyes. I felt her riffling through my memories, then, Marie? Please collect Panther and check the shores. Be very careful anywhere near the corpse of the Dire Bear; it's inundated with lethal magical residue from Vulcan. Also, be very careful near the peninsula sticking into the north shore of the... lake. Tabitha sensed something there. Then she turned to me. "Are you hungry or tired?"

I thought about that for a second. "Tired." She nodded, slung Vulcan's case over one shoulder, then lifted me into a princess carry and stepped us to our bed. She settled me in with pillows, ran one hand over my brow, and said, "rest well, love. I'll return soon."

I was asleep by the time she got home. My dreams were quiet. Not abandoned. Never really abandoned, although with my ladies all gone missing, I got to see the chibi sous chefs bringing beans and hundred count shrimp to toss in down near the shoreline of my Maw.

Woke late in the day, with Siobhan snuggled up to me. "Don't you have to be at work?"

She smiled. "I am. We're all worried about you. Taking turns just lying here. I did what I could, but I think you need rest. Saffron will be here to speak with you when the day's done."

I pouted a little. "Kinda wish I could get all of you here."

A moment later, they were. The snuggled in around me, and Saffron murmured, "the debriefing will need to wait until this evening, but of course we can do this."

When the 'debriefing' time came, it was as my ladies took turns spoon feeding me some kind of potato onion soup with plenty of bear meat. "None of this came from Mega Bear, did it?"

Saffron chuckled. "No, love. Although I took a short jaunt out there to check." When I tensed, she lay a hand atop my head. "I took Vulcan and Marie for protection, and never went close to the Bear itself. Beyond about a mile, the energy falls off sharply. Frankly, the bear's hindquarters are probably safe to eat. Well, they would be, except it seems its own fur is wicking its fat up through its skin and burning it."

"The fuck?"

She just shrugged. "There's something going on under the northeastern part of the lake." She smiled at me. "I didn't go very close to there, either, love. Just close enough to see that something under the water is... active. Mana is flowing. But it seems less concentrated than anything that could have created that monstrosity."

"Are we gonna need to nuke that end of the lake too?" I heaved a tired sigh.

She laughed. "I hope not. I'm not certain how much of our water comes from those lakes. I'd rather not have to fear our Bath."

"Fair point. Still gonna do it if another of those Bears shows up."

She frowned. "I... I don't think one will."

"Why not? Not like whatever's down there has shown any kind of creativity so far." She pursed her lips, then fed me more potato soup. Right about then I realized. "Hey, is this actual potatoes?"

She smiled and nodded. "Second crop. Lovely Marie is experimenting with ways to introduce them."

I snorted. "Chop them up and deep fry them. Mash 'em with cream and butter. Bake 'em at four fifty for like an hour. Shit, there's like, no end to what you can do with spuds."

She leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek. "I'm sure Marie will want to pick your brain while you rest up tomorrow."

"Rest up? No, I gotta get out and deal with whatever's down there!"

She shook her head. "You do not. You need to rest, and if you feel up to doing anything, visit with... Rabbit?" When I nodded, she said, "Rabbit and Lily. Marie tells me they both want to speak with you."

"But... the lake."

"Is under observation."

I sighed and hung my head. "Diplomacy?"

"Diplomacy."

"Yes, Kitten."

"Good girl."

I swear, that made it all worth it.

Dreamt of my ladies pouring scented oils and butter into the Maw. No fuckin' clue what that's about, but it did feel kinda good.

Woke up tired, which shouldn't have been surprising, since apparently I'd microwaved myself on high for a couple minutes standing next to Mega Bear's corpse. Not sure if 'two days R&R' as a cure was a result of my unholy high Endurance, stolen defensive Skills, or Siobhan's gift for Healing. Probably some combination of all three, because other than 'sleepy', I didn't feel bad. Spent the day playing board games and telling stories to the kids. Marie stayed nearby, but honestly I didn't really need anything other than some light duty. I'm not sure, because the kids didn't call me on it, but I think I napped a lot. Hell, Marie might have been there to watch over them when I nodded off more than watching over me.

I did get one underwater nap in the big ass claw footed tub in Maze's' room. Water hot as sin and twice as nice, my little pony girl holding me under so every bit of me melted nicely. Woke up from that as the sun was setting. I looked over at Marie, somehow realizing she'd been waiting for me. "Let me guess. Rabbit?" She nodded. "Her place or ours?"

"Hers."

"Can she wait until after dinner?" Marie shook her head.

I gave Maze a squeeze, set her out of the tub, then stood myself. "Time to go play diplomat."