Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

Yeah, I know that the other day I said the start of this week wasn't so much an 'emotional roller coaster' as some kind of emotional rocket sled ride, at this point I can confirm that this shit has totally done everything a roller coaster ought to do. Real life roller coasters are what they are, but I think in this case I'm gonna say that I do not want to do that again. It was almost like a simulation of manic depression, but without the actual manic phase rush. I guess maybe I didn't get the full on crash into depression, but then it's possible that shit just hasn't hit me yet. Or the repeated dopamine injections made it so I'm either gonna slide into depression smoothly or wind up crashing some time next week for no apparent reason.

I really fuckin' hate to think that it might be both. That would suck.

So, uh, yeah. Yesterday was a Thing That Happened. I, uh... yeah. Some leftover neopuritan part of me is screaming at me that I'm a bad person and an even worse wife for not even knowing all the names of the assorted hookups after the ouzo started flowing, but on the 'bad wife' part at one point I distinctly remember Saffron summoning up her cheerleader outfit specifically to encourage some... dude? I think? Oh, shit, I didn't even ask. I'm assuming at this point that penis haver with beard into chicks is dude, but he needed some encouragement to get his freak on with a Goddess, and Saffron thought it was cute. Reminded me a little of Panther. But when Wife number one is literally cheering me on and Wife number two is offering both of us practical advice from the sidelines, that whole 'you're a bad wife' part loses a lot of its impact.

The 'bad person' part? Fuck, I dunno. Maybe edging Devorah and leaving her to self service with my ladies' favorite fascina was kinda mean. Definitely gonna tell her how all four of us, drunk off our collective asses, got utterly fascinated by her use of a fascina. No, we were not scrying on her. Yes, that fascina is the Mimic-hide one. No, I wasn't paying attention to the side effects of that when I left it with her. Yes, my ladies started giving me funny looks when I got distracted, slipped into my head because I was too drunk to form words, and subsequently got just as distracted as I was.

When the sun went down, before I could do the same to Marie I snuggled up to her and whispered, "no... not... Maw. No. Please?"

She hadn't gotten nearly as much ouzo in her as I had. "But Worship?"

I rolled my eyes, then regretted it as the room started spinning and refused to stop. Okay, when I rolled over and clung to her it did barrel rolls instead, so I closed my eyes and whimpered, "not in person? Not real you? Please?"

She snuggled me to her, and I returned the snuggle. "Why Not?"

"I don' wanna wisk... whisk? Risk! I no wanna wrist using... no, losing you." She ran a claw across my cheek, and I shook my head. Bad idea, room started spinning along two axes. "Na tonight. Taste too good. No innibitcoins. No... no... self control. Yeah. NO self control. Don wanna eat you."

She buried her mouth in my hair and whispered, "Do Too."

"Okay, yeah, flavor tasty nom good, but wan Marie an Marie babbies an Marie hugs and Marie forever more." I pouted into the fur on her chest. "Dumb bitch me can't keep fuckin' tentacles to herself."

She laughed then, a real quiet laugh as she gently pulled me against her and snuggled me more. "Enjoyed That." When I went to say something, she interrupted with, "Not Again." After a pause, she followed that with a thoughtful, "Not Now."

I snorted, half asleep. "What, you waiting fer the next litter?"

She nodded, jostling my head, and pulled my hand down to lay it on her belly, her claw atop it holding it in place. "Stronger... Safer."

"Tryna get Mimic to guard our kittens like they're her own?"

"They Are." That kinda sent me spinning in entirely different ways. I'm not sure it got better or worse when she said, "Yours, Hers." By the time she said, "Mine, Ours." I'd already fallen half asleep. At some point during the night I remembered I'd intended some lip on lip action south of Marie's border, but when I got there I'd been pre-empted by a snoring Ice Pop. Too cute, couldn't move her, rooched back up and held Marie until I drifted off.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

Dreamt of all my ladies stumbling around my Maw, Marie hip checking them in as she walked widdershins around the perimeter. Over and over until they all grabbed her and tried to yeet her in, and failed successfully by leaping in themselves clutching her. Weird flavor combination, especially with everyone doused in licorice.

Woke up maybe a little tense after that, but calmed when I realized that our room had not spontaneously generated windows, but that Marie's belly glowed bright enough in the darkness that I didn't really need my wireframe vision to look at all my sleeping ladies. Laying there in the quiet, dim, warm womb of our big family bed, I whispered, "Mittens?"

"Yes, Vlickies?"

"You weren't, y'know, tryna end yourself fornicating with my Maw for reals, were you?"

She gently yet inexorably pulled me up until I could look her in the eye. "No, Vlickies." She shook her head, slowly, nuzzling my face until some part of me inside let go of the idea. "I Mourned." I waited, and eventually she followed that with, "Mimic Mourned."

"Looked a lot like you were doing the Wake thing rather than the Funeral one."

She just smiled at me. "With You!"

Part of me wanted to argue with her, talk about how I'm not really the Apocalypse Fatass, just an Avatar and Demigoddess. Another part didn't want to open that can of worms right now, because if she didn't get that, I'm not sure how she'd feel about me, or Mimic, or her recent nocturnal visitation. Which, now that I thought about what I remembered, was the kind of freaky hot that you normally had to download directly from Japan, because the censors wouldn't let folks in the US host shit like that. But the thing that mostly kept me too uncertain to say anything was Marie. She's thousands of years old. If she doesn't know that shit about me and Mimic being different, or doesn't buy it, maybe she's right.

Which does not make me feel copacetic about all my urges to taste the lady rainbow.

I'm also entirely uncertain what kind of freak it makes me that I really want them to, any time they need a haircut, donate the clippings to the 'Make My Mimic Maw Happy' fund. I mean, eating hair was just nasty if I thought about doing it with my actual mouth on my face. Okay, occasionally swallowing a short bit was fine when it just wound up there. But, like, nomming a hank off of one of my lady loves' heads just sounds weird. Like there are Dark Web websites dedicated to that shit.

Around sunrise, Saffron went through a very subdued boot up routine, then cracked her eyes open and said, "would it be too much to ask to hold the sun out of the sky for a day?"

"Probably fuck up all kinds of shit if I did. Crops, livestock, wildlife, people who work outside because lantern oil is spendy..."

She sighed and closed her eyes. "Ow."

"Siobhan, you got anything for hangovers?"

"No," Saffron interrupted. "No, that seems... disrespectful? Like we ought not skip over the consequences of our Revel celebrating Grandma?"

I snuggled her and said, "Fair. So no escaping your headache, mild nausea, or light sensitivity. Got it. But..."

She'd been giving me stink eye as I recited the hangover symptoms which I kinda had, but not really. Little bit hungry, even, definitely thirsty as fuck. Not like that's abnormal, but I was talking about water. "Go on."

"Since you were willing to do the eclipse thing..." I pulled in a tentacle, leaving it semi-corporeal, and wrapped it around her, especially around her eyes, leaving her wreathed in fuzzy darkness. "There you go. I got you, Kitten."

"I half expected some kind of darkened spectacles."

I shrugged. "Yeah, no, that would look cool as shit on you, but this way I get to fondle you all day long."

"I can't help but notice you're focusing on my temples rather than my tits."

"Yeah, well. I feel like fondling your brain today. Sue me."

So today we all went back to work. I did hop and get a pair of shades for Siobhan after I got Saffron and I to the Grand Council. She looks adorable in her cutaway robes and a pair of cute white classic Ray-Ban Wayfarers. No, I did not find a white pair of Wayfarers. Yes, I have learned how to alter stuff I steal. The colors at least. Yes, I did that just for the extra cute, because it wasn't hurting anybody, and I feel like after, y'know, killing Gods and Dragons and Undead to protect this little nation of ours, it's not a step too far to indulge myself by spending the day fondling my Kitten while ogling our Concubine in cute sunglasses.

Especially when I wound up doing laundry most of the day at the Academy. Where they'd had their own Wake the night before. With people who do not hold their liquor as well as me and my ladies. Shit, they don't hold it as well as our fuckin' toddlers.

Yes, I'm a bit salty about washing puke sheets all day.

Made it all worth while, though, when the me cooking back at the Homestead suddenly had a Marie shawl around my shoulders. "Been Watching." I focused on tryna keep everything cooking properly and not burning shit or fucking it up some other way. Think I might have anyway when she shut my brain down for an indeterminate amount of time by nuzzling my ear and murmuring, "Good Girl."