Dial H for Heroics

Josie went to a desk. She still had her paper and pen set from her trip up north. She

ignored the adventurers pointing at her and laughing. She had a possible teacher for

Alicia and Laura. She didn’t have time for people who didn’t matter.

She quickly wrote out a letter to send back to Duchess Lorelei, asking if it was okay

for the teacher to arrive at Hawk Ridge and talk to the girls. If he was good to them,

she would take him on.

She didn’t have to spell out what she thought if he didn’t come up to snuff.

She folded the letter into an envelope and wrote Lorelei on the outside. She handed

it to the bird on her head. It took off in a trail of fire.

Josie sat back in her chair. If the archer was good enough to teach her girls, that was

one more quest done. Did she want to complete them all? She knew there would be

pressure from the Reed Society for them to finish their business.

Would they let her finish tracking down the Montrose if she took too long to do the

job? How many could she scoop up before that happened? She didn’t think they

should be allowed to run around loose and poison every part of society, even if she

wasn’t part of the society.

She had partially accomplished one of her quests. That was something in her eyes.

She would take her lumps when the Society decided to hand them out.

At least she wasn’t promising people replacement arms.

She sighed. She supposed the watches made them great doctors if they wanted. She

doubted Hawk Ridge was ready for anything like that. She could already see the kinds

of trouble that would flow from news of a miracle worker replacing arms and legs for

the handicapped of the world.

An elf in green and brown walked in the Adventurers’ Hall. He looked around until

he saw Josie sitting at the desk. He marched forward, hands on the buckle of his belt.

“Be the witch?,” he asked.

“Be the burning effigy that used to be an archery teacher?,” asked Josie. She made

sure her paper and writing equipment was put away before she thought about what

she was going to do.

“The Duchess said you had a sharp tongue,” said the elf. “I be the Rick. The Duchess

said you had some girl you wanted to teach to shoot.”

“Have you ever taught anyone anything?,” asked Josie. She stood, squinting up at the

taller elf.

“Aye,” said the Rick. He looked down on her. He felt pressure building in the air. He

decided to heed Sir Robert’s advice and keep to factual statements with no

obfuscation. This was a human that angered easily and had the potential to send him

home in need of tea. “I have taught hunters in the Dire Woods for years.”

“I’m going to introduce you to the girls and their other teacher and my assistant,” said

Josie. “I don’t really expect you to get started today, but I do expect a block of time

we can agree on for you to train them. Do not cause me trouble. I have things to do,

and I don’t have a lot of time to waste on someone who can’t do a good job. If things

work out, I will write to Lorelei and Bob to give you a promotion, or some kind of

compensation. If things don’t work out, I will still write Lorelei and Bob to tell them

where to find you. That is the arrangement from my point of view. Are we

understanding each other?”

The Rick understood completely the implied threat in the human woman’s words. He

didn’t know if she could carry things out, but he also didn’t want to anger someone

the Duchess considered important enough for him to meet.

“Let us see these children,” said the archer. “They may not be capable of pulling a

bow string, much less loosing an arrow.”

“Come this way,” said Josie. She started for the training hall. She ignored the

adventurers looking at her, and her companion. She doubted any of them were ready

to take on an elf.

They walked into the hall. Harp was using his baton to point out where they had

failed to take down Jack. He commended them for their effort, but they really needed

to improve if they wanted to get that ice cream.

“Sir Harp, Elaine,” said Josie. “This is Rick. He’s going to be teaching Alicia and

Laura archery. I need to know what would be the best time for him to do that while

they still take swordsmanship lessons.”

Josie thought she heard Beatrice say the elf could teach her archery lessons. She

closed her eyes.

“I think we can work something out,” said Harp. He gestured for the elf to walk with

him. “Give us a few minutes please.”

They stepped out of the hall.

“All right, girls,” said Josie. “I know the elf is kind of handsome, but let’s keep the

sexual harassment to a minimum.”

“What does that mean?,” asked Matilda.

“It means that he is here to do a job for us, and we shouldn’t be trying to lure him in

with sexual advances,” said Josie. “And I don’t want adopted nephews and nieces. I

am too young for that.”

“You don’t want a half elven niece named Josie?,” said Beatrice.

“Why?,” asked Josie. “I can just rename all of you Josie. Let’s stick to the subject at

hand. The Duchess is not going to want her top monster hunter tied down to a human

girl. I don’t want my wards tied to a monster hunter. Don’t make things hard for

either of us.”

“And girls,” said Elaine. “You would have to leave here and move to the Elfheim to

work for whomever has your contract. It would be just like slavery here.”

The two teachers came into the room. Harp had a small smile. The Rick seemed a

little looser than he had been when he arrived.

“Which girls am I teaching?,” asked the archer.

“Alicia and Laura,” said Josie, indicating the girls with a hand. “Have you two

worked out the time issue?”

“I’ll have all of the girls for two hours in the morning,” said Harp. “Master Rick will

have anyone who wants to learn how to shoot for one hour in the afternoon. We will

adjust for emergencies as we go.”

“Master Rick, this is Elaine,” said Josie. She indicated the assistant. “If I am not here,

and there is a problem, she is the responsible adult. Do not let anything happen to my

kids if you can help it.”

“They are safe as houses with me,” said the elf. “Sir Harp says there is a range. I

would like to take the girls over to see if they can handle a bow.”

The ding of the completed quest made Josie smile as she nodded. She waved the

Ducklings to follow their new teacher out of the hall.

“How well do you think things will go?,” asked Elaine. She followed Josie, who

followed the rest of the group.

“We will probably see at least one half elven baby,” said Josie. “I would like for Rick

to have more restraint, but I can already see Beatrice and Laura lining up to be his

girlfriend. And I don’t think things will work out like they want.”

“Does anything ever work out like we think it will?,” asked Elaine.

“Not particularly,” said Josie. “Hope for the best, expect the worse.”

“I agree,” said Elaine. “The girls are all mature for their ages. They will be all right

even if you do leave.”

“What would you do if we didn’t leave?,” asked Josie.

“I don’t know,” said Elaine. “I am just following your lead right now as your

secretary.”

“I think as long as we keep adding quests, we might be able to stay here until we die,”

said Josie. “What would you do if we decided to do something like that?”

“I don’t know,” said Elaine. “I had always assumed you would leave. If you were to

find a way to stay, do you think I could still work for you?”

“You have helped us save the city,” said Josie. “No one but us will know, but you

have done work to protect these people.”

“But I could still be your assistant?,” said Elaine.

“If you want to,” said Josie. “You have done a lot for us, and we haven’t really done

that much for you.”

“I was enthralled when Jack found me,” said Elaine. “I never thought he would come

back to talk to me. When he did, I never thought he would take me in. When he did

that, I never thought that either one of you would treat me as well as you have. I

would like to stay. You have done more for me than I have for you.”

“But are you happy?,” asked Josie.

“This has been the finest part of my life after some darkness,” said Elaine. “And I

never thought things would be this good after what happened to me.”

“I think Jack would like for you to stay,” said Josie. “And I know I would. Even

if you don’t stay, I will do something for you as a moving out present.”

“I will be glad to stay,” said Elaine. “What is next on the agenda?”

“We have to figure out how the Money Exchange and the Montrose work together,

and how much of one can we rip up before we start destroying innocent people’s

livelihoods,” said Josie. “Any ideas?”

“I think we need to look at the local branch’s ledgers and see how they compare to

the ones we already have,” said Elaine. “How we get them becomes the next step of

whatever plan we come up to do.”

“All right,” said Josie. “That means looking at the building and seeing if it can stop

whatever magic we can throw at it. Then we need someone who can look through the

book fast enough that we can put them back once we know what we’re looking at in

the long run.”

“There is one question now that we are considering this,” said Elaine.

“Go ahead,” said Josie. She paused at the archery range. Rick was showing the girls

how to string a bow. She nodded at him.

“If the Exchange and the Montrose are the same thing, are the clerks slaves?,” asked

Elaine.

“Were they freed by the hex like everyone else?,” Josie asked herself.

“Are they involved seems more relevant in case you have to do something to them

to fulfill your vow,” said Elaine.

“I need to talk to one of them, don’t I?,” said Josie.

“It might be a way to do things easier than ripping the building up and throwing

it over the wall,” said Elaine. She smiled.

“You know I can’t do anything like that,” said Josie. “But I would like to.”

“So we need to look at one of the clerks,” said Elaine.

“We need to know if they are happy with what they are doing,” said Josie. “If

they aren’t, they might tell us things we can use. And they have buildings across the

continent according to the speech they gave Jack and me when we got here.”

“More slaves doing the work for their masters,” said Elaine.

“We’ll see how long that lasts,” said Josie.

They watched the lesson silently. Josie nodded when it was over and the girls had all

taken turns trying to pull the bow tight. None of them were quite up to the task.

“Ye’ll practice the pull until you can actually do it,” said the Rick. “I think it’s time

for you to do other things.”

Josie nodded at the teachers as she waved her girls to follow her.