Dial H for Heroics

Bob escorted Josie through the palace. She nodded at the stone walls and floors, hanging tapestries, and sconces of golden light everywhere. People went about their business with stares at her as she walked.

“So what do you think happened, Bob?,” Josie asked to interrupt his whistling as he walked.

“I have no idea, Mum,” said the escort. “The exiling process is above my pay grade as it were.”

“So you didn’t hear any gossip about this?,” asked Josie.

“I heard that the princess was escorted to the border and thrown over, Mum,” said Bob. “She couldn’t deny the missing item was in her apartment.”

“I’m going to assume no one thought it was strange that she just stole the broach instead of asking if she could borrow it?,” asked Josie.

“The broach was missing, and the princess had it,” said Bob. “And she didn’t know how it got there.”

“You people are not right,” said Josie. “A million explanations and you didn’t ask any questions.”

“The king made the ruling,” said Bob. “None can gainsay his word.”

“Even if he was wrong?,” said Josie.

“Especially if he was wrong,” said the elf. “That’s just how it is.”

“I got a job to do,” said Josie. A ding filled her brain. She nodded as the Dark Rider was no longer an issue. “It looks like I’m going to have to prove him wrong in every way.”

“I can’t wait to see this,” said Bob.

“Either I fix this on my own, or my partner does,” said Josie. “And I don’t know if Jack can fix anything like this.”

“I don’t know if you can either,” said Bob.

They reached a pair of golden doors. Two guards crossed halberds to block their passage. Josie stood there, glaring at them.

“We have an order to attend His Majesty’s presence,” said Bob. He bowed.

“Why should we let you pass?,” asked one of the guards.

“I have been asked to speak to the king,” said Josie. “It doesn’t matter to me if I do, or don’t. They will send Gallstone to come get me again, and then there will be someone to talk to you about being a little more professional.”

“Sir Galestone,” said Bob.

“Excuse me?,” said Josie.

“His name is Galestone, not Gallstone,” said Bob. “But it is a common epithet given to him, I must say.”

“I have heard it both ways,” said Josie. “So you can step out of the way, or have Sir Galestone come up and do whatever knights do to lackeys.”

“Mostly chop them to pieces,” said Bob.

“That’s fine too,” said Josie.

The guards looked at each other, and slowly dropped their weapons to attention beside their armored bodies.

One pushed the door open for them to walk inside the court room.

Josie and Bob walked down the center aisle of the massive room. Hundreds of eyes watched their progress. They stopped in front of the jeweled encrusted thrones of the King and Queen. Bob sank to a knee, using his spear as a support. Josie bowed slightly.

“Are you Josie Fox?,” asked the king. His voice did not sound pleased to meet the person who had sent him a scathing review of his ancestry.

“Yep,” said Josie. “I assume you are the king of the elves.”

“You are correct,” said the King. “I think you should address me with a little more respect.”

“You’re right,” said Josie. “I apologize. Where I’m from, royalty is almost dead in the world. I should be more aware that it hasn’t ended here.”

“What do you mean Royalty is dead?,” asked the Queen.

“There are a few countries where the monarchy is allowed to exist as figureheads and for ceremonial purposes, but for the most part, governments have done away with them,” said Josie.

“That is not the case where we sent Sir Galestone,” said the King.

“I’m from a lot farther away than that little town,” said Josie. “I’m here at the behest of the Robert Reed Appreciation Society. They want your daughter returned to you and cleared of all charges. How do I make that happen?”

“I have never heard of these people,” said the King. He looked around. None of the courtiers stepped forward with information. “Why would they want this?”

“I don’t know,” said Josie. “I assume they think you were wrong. They might not want elves over the border. They just might think you can’t do your job any more. I don’t know about any of that. All I know is they asked my partner and I to get the job done, no matter what. So that’s why I’m here. I didn’t expect all these people to be witnesses, but it is what it is.”

“Why would it matter if the court was here, or not?,” said the King. He glanced at the courtiers.

“Because if they weren’t here, we could have a quiet talk,” said Josie. “Then I could find the real thief, clear the princess, and be one step closer to going home.”

“Justice was done,” said the Queen.

“If it was, I wouldn’t be here,” said Josie. “I mean everybody here knew the princess borrowed the maid’s jewelry. Everybody here had access to the maid, and her clothing and jewelry. Half the court had reason to falsely accuse the princess and profit from whatever happened to her. It doesn’t take a big brain to see that she was framed.”

“There is no way that’s true,” said Avelina. “You lie like all humans lie.”

Josie sighed. She looked around. The court was openly hostile to her. The King and Queen didn’t want to budge from their mistake. She looked at Bob. He gave her an eyebrow raised as if to say what cha gonna do.

“If that’s how you want to play the game, that’s how we’re going to play the game,” said Josie.

Josie had thought about her options. She had Etrigan on her watch. She could unleash him on this crowd and see what happened then. She also had another option. She twisted the dial. This could be a bad move for her if her choice ate as much energy as Jack’s did on his watch.

On the other hand, it might be the only way to get at the truth and see if she could negotiate a deal.

If Jack could call on an angel, she could too.

Zauriel burst out in the room in flame and light. An inhuman face regarded the court. She only had seconds to act.

“Who put the broach in Lorelei’s chamber?,” the angel asked.

“I did,” exclaimed one of the guards at the edge of the crowd.

“Why?,” asked Josie.

“Lord Cuttrees asked me to do it,” said the guard. “I don’t know why.”

“My friend, you are done now,” said Bob. He shook his head at the other guard.

“Why did you have the broach placed in the princess’s quarters, Cuttrees?,” asked Josie. She could feel the watch rapidly descending to zero.

“I wanted Avelina to be uplifted to make her more worthy of marriage,” said Cuttrees before he could stop himself. “Then I planned to marry her to gain the crown in my time.”

Zauriel vanished. Josie frowned at her watch. She had committed a flashy act that might get her killed now that she didn’t have any power. She grimaced. At least the princess had been exonerated in front of her parents.

“You want to marry me?,” said Avelina. She didn’t look happy at the prospect.

“All of my plans ruined by some human with an artifact,” said Cuttrees. “My retainers to me. It looks like the throne is going to change hands by force today.”

Josie fell back as the court reassembled itself around the nobleman. He drew his sword. There was no doubt who would be the first one to kill on his list.

She should have armed herself with a sword even if she didn’t know how to defend herself with it yet.

She could see Jack laughing at the mess she had caused just by asking for the truth and getting it.

Josie glanced at her watch. It spun faster than she had ever seen it. She supposed there was enough random magic in the air to load it up. She just needed to hold on for a couple of minutes, then she could think of something to get out of this mess.

Cuttress ran right for her and Bob. He swung his sword down to cut her out of the way of his charge to the throne. Bob blocked the blade with his halberd. They strained against each other.

Josie had two guys she thought could be fighters on her watch. They should excel in the close quarters as the elves imitated Errol Flynn with the clashing of blades everywhere she looked.

She called on Richard Dragon and her body changed as her knowledge of fighting increased. She grabbed a rebel noble by the upper body and threw him across the room.

The elves divided as the king’s forces retreated to give her giant body room to move. Cuttrees stepped back from the infantry holding him in place. He raised a hand to launch a spell at the new threat on the field.

A dragon’s paw grabbed his legs and slammed him into the floor. He tried to get a shield together to protect his body. It was too late as the reptilian fighter used him as a hammer against anyone who thought they could win. The royal guards moved in and started shackling the rebels where they had fallen trying to kill the rest of the court.

“Does this prove the innocence of my client?,” asked Josie, returning to normal.

“It proves we were hasty in our decision,” said the king. “We will rescind her

punishment based on what happened here.”

“What about Cuttress and his mob?,” asked Josie.

“They will be detained until I can figure out a suitable punishment for them,” said the King.

“I will tell Lorelei she can come home and get her personal things fixed as much as they can be fixed,” said Josie. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“I wish I could say the same,” said the King. He inclined his head in dismissal.

Josie pulled on Bob so he would lead the way. She had to get close enough to cross back to the town and tell her charge what had happened. Hopefully she hadn’t hung herself with bedding while her champion had gone about the business of trying to get her reinstated as a royal.