Deus Ex Machinarium

Greoo was sitting deep in the heavy leather chair, smoking a pipe and trying to scribble things on a sheet floating before her. She was a petite, hoomin blonde, aged no more than eighteen, who went out of her way to make everyone notice her being such. She wore a low-cut crimson dress. If one of her kind attempted to look her through, hair to toe, they would first notice a pair of large blue eyes, surrounded by thick, long eyelashes, then they would meet a petite, pointy, stubby nose. Below were a pair of luscious, thick, lips, a cute, pointy chin, and a long neck. At the end of this journey was a wide cleavage, almost exposing a pair of heavy breasts clumped together and stuck out to expose as much skin as possible, but still without being explicit by hoomin norms. At least some, most of them male. This would also be the end of this journey, as at this point most would lose the ability to communicate being struck by such concentrated exposure to concentrated femininity.

None of this mattered. Only four other people ever saw her and all of them cared very little about how Greoo carried herself in their shared mindspace.

The person in the chair was a figment, and so was the chair and the room the chair and her were in. The place was reminiscent of the bookshop they left three weeks prior. The bookshelves were still there, and so were the books, albeit probably different from those Anh was selling. Curiously, despite it being a bookshop, a large fireplace was nearby and ever-burning, crackling flames, consuming imaginary wood radiated warmth towards two large leather-bound chairs that replaced the counter. Greoo was sunken in one of those. Furiously gnawing on a pipe, without really achieving it.

-” I … don’t … like … this … guy” - she finally muttered into the air in a manner that meant she wanted to use harsher words.

-* Why such a sudden change of heart* - came a disembodied, lighthearted voice of Birdekk

-” Not a sudden. I just hide it well”

-* I don’t believe you.* - responded eldest kin - * He's everything you ought to like in hoomin. Calm, collected, dominant, masculine, knowledgeable, rich, well-built, tall, exotic, handsome, suave, sophisticated, and above all modest.*

-” Come here, so I can enact some pretend violence on your image.” - muttered Greoo. In response, not a moment later, a silhouette of a middle-aged tanai with a forgettable face, wearing light grey linen pants and a shirt emerged out of thin air before her.

-” I hope it’s not going to come to that.” - said Birdekk with a fake concern in his voice - “Pretend violence is the worst.” - he floated towards the other chair and started to float above the seat with his legs crossed.

-” You aren’t making a good case for such a claim when pretending to sit in a pretend chair, thus, specifically, double pretending. Two pretends don’t make it real.”

-” Yes. I appreciate the irony. What is gnawing at you?” - the concern in Birdekk’s voice was now genuine.

-” In your litany of virtues of Mr Zerster you forgot to mention that he is a lie.” - Greoo sunk deeper into the chair, the pipe still in her hand. Or was the chair suddenly deeper than before? - ”It both repulses and worries me.”

-” Well” - Birdekk clasped his hands as if he was to pray, but instead started to bump his fingers -” We did see him fork-tongue his way through things, he, evidently, is better at it than most hoomin.”

-” I don’t mean he is a liar.” - the woman gazed intently into the distance - ”Although that is also a concern. I mean he is a lie.”

-” Be more specific please.”

-” Let me collect my thoughts. Stop me I get too rambly” - hearing this, Birdekk nodded in confirmation - ” We met him in Sheridawn, a nobleman with some weird documents. Right?”

-” Yes. I remember.”

-” He is supposedly a banker. I mean, he didn’t tell us that, but his family ‘name’ is a dead giveaway. Then I thought he was just some handsome weirdo with too much money. I mean fine, plenty of such in Sheridawn.”

-” Aha, yes.”- Birdekk laid his hands on his chest and started to wiggle his fingers - “Please continue” - Greoo didn’t need any encouragement, she just continued, upping the pace of her speech.

-” Then he wants to go on a quest, like some wotcher bandit, but wait! He somehow is a seasoned traveler! Because he travels light, with bare essentials. When we expected a caravan of a noble and packed accordingly. Like we’ve gotten from Tanais to Sheridawn! I should have picked up on this, but I was too busy to pay attention.” - Greoo clenched the chair’s armrests, and was visibly distraught.

-” Hush, it is fine” - said Birdekk with assurance and concern in his voice - ”Yes. Indeed. Now when you speak of it, it makes sense.”

- ” Then, all of a sudden”- continued the woman -” he buys over, or arm-twists a gate guard. Like it is nothing. But wait! As soon as we embark on that creaky boat, he gives us a lecture as to avoid mingling with the church people. I mean”- Greoo paused to collect her thoughts -” I mean I’m no fan of them either, but he has some sort of obsession! Did you see how he treated that churchai? Absolute lack of respect!”

-” Yes. We are in agreement. He shouldn’t treat Ksintsaxii so poorly. We have our differences, but in the end, we are still tanai. Trust is paramount!”

-” Precisely! So what has our benefactor done next?”

-” Obtains maps from a murky source amidst a military camp.” - Birdekk sounded really worried, and his words were more of a statement, than a response to Greoo.

-” Well! That is one way to put it. He stole them!”

-” Well. You have no evidence of that. I hope he didn’t. That would spell trouble.”

-” Fine, he either stole them or bribed someone to get them. Either way, it’s a felony.”

-” Hey. If you are already dissecting the behavior of our companion” - the disembodied voice of Tow echoed in the shop -” did you notice how well he set up the camp. This man knows how to get around.”

-” Yes!” - Greoo almost shouted -” I was just getting to it!”

-” Tow, do you want to join us?” - Birdekk said to nobody in particular.

-” I’m fine. I’m just listening to you while working on something. Just wanted to chime in.”

-” Yes, thank you. Greoo?”

-” None of this makes sense. None of it.”

-” Let’s not rush to conclusions.” - said Birdekk calmly - ”Many nobles are keen on hunting. He may just be very fond of it. From that came his survival skills.” - the image of a tanai, started to rub his forehead -” He is very brazen with officials and….”

-” You are naive.”- Greoo interrupted him without hesitation - “So far he is all that and at the same time just bosses us around like we are his minions. Without sharing his plans, unless he needs us to do something. Always keeping us at arm’s length. Even at this very moment, the domme is doing his bidding. We are alone, away in the woods, with a ‘mysterious’ stranger, who isn’t who he claims to be.”

-” Well, he didn’t claim to be us much of anything, really” - replied Birdekk - “Most of this is just conjecture.”.

-“ Listen. Do we know whether he is married? What family is he from? Where is he from?”

-” I presume he is from Sheridawn and is married. That is not relevant to the job at hand.”

-” That is the point, and even you are starting to grasp it.”- Greoo fell heavily into the chair - ” Hoomin talk! Mostly about themselves. But they talk. It is how they bond. Sharing the mundanity of their lives. Just like we can yammer on about our research for hours.”- Birdekk nodded hearing this -” Yet for the entire trip, he was dead silent, unless we were speaking about ‘the job’. Or has been ordering us to do something.”

-" Beware the man who does not talk and the dog who does not bark." - interrupted a disembodied voice of Tow.

-" What?" -

-" It's a proverb." - added Tow - "I've read it somewhere."

-” I’m starting to see your point.”

-” You better. I am starting to be very worried. We don’t know anything about this man. Apart from his antics, and him needing us to poke Ordos for whatever reasons he has. For all I know, we are going to end up dead in a ditch after we are no longer needed.”

Birdekk fell silent. After a few moments of awkwardness, Greoo continued.

-” Come to think of it, the only thing we haven’t seen is him being good at swinging that sword he carries around all the time. But I am certain he is ‘unexpectedly’ good at it. Did you see how longingly he was staring at the monument? Maybe he was envisioning himself being in that battle, killing those things. Maybe he just likes killing!”

-” Well, now you are being paranoid.” - objected Birdekk - ”Most middle-aged nobles in his social strata are capable of fighting. With varying levels of success, but still. From you, I know that nobles live to hunt, fight, and backstab each other. He is likely not an exception.”

Now it was Greoo’s turn to remain silent. Her kin allowed the silence to linger for a few moments.

-“ Most also aren’t psychotic killers.” - he continued -” I agree, we need to be vigilant, as Brandt likely has a closet full of skeletons. But so far he hasn’t shown any proclivity for violence and he has treated us well, considering the circumstances. To the contrary. I think we are safe.”

-” If he is a killer, he is of the pragmatic type.” - Birdekk frowned upon hearing this - ”Fine! Fine! I guess you are right.” - said deflated Greoo - “I’ll keep a vigil on him though.”

-” Yes. This is a very fitting course of action.” - nodded Birdekk -” You ought to observe him and make notes, for the good of all five of us. If anything worrisome happens, or we consider Brandt to be a threat, we will take action.”

-” Won’t Anh object?” - her hoomin image’s voice was worried - “ He seems to go at it with the naivety of a child.”

-” As he usually does. We will pretend, if necessary, double pretend, arm wrestle him to submission. Thernohh knows ways.”

Silence again befell the mind space. Greoo rested gloomily, with her gaze pointed at the dark oak floor of the library. She was considering all the things that were said and what it meant to her.

A couple of moments, filled with nothing more than the crackling from the fireplace, passed. For all of this time, Birdekk waited patiently, just being vigilant of her intentions and as usual, being there for everyone living under Anh’s skull. Finally, Greoo spoke.

-” You are right. I should not worry so much” - she got up from the chair, straightened her dress and propped the breasts out, for extra effect - “I think I should return to my work.” - Birdekk nodded, smiling warmly at her. Her image dispersed into the air just as she saw his approval.

He, on the other hand, remained ‘sitting’ for a few more moments, soaking the carefully crafted ambiance of their communal inner refuge, admiring the rows of books, the fireplace, and the wooden interior. Finally, however, even he felt the obligation to return to his research and he also dispersed his image.