Dead Man's Harem. Since I can't kill myself, I'll find other ways to be happy.

"Swear to god, I saw it!" the bar patron shouted in a loud voice. "Red eyes, black body, shaped like a centaur… it was a demon!"

His drinking buddies shouted back at him. "That's impossible, there haven't been demons on middle earth for thousands of years. You're drunk, Rory. Just go home."

"No, no, I'm telling you, it's real! When I went chopping firewood last night, I saw him behind a tree near the meadow. He was whispering something too."

"Rory. If you really saw a demon you'd be dead."

"Yeah, he's right. You must've been hallucinating. And since when did demons whisper?"

"I'm telling you, I'm not lying!" the man called Rory said while flailing his mug in the air, spilling some beer on the floor.

"Then what do you want us to do? Call the royal army? They'll have us hanged for fibbing before they even come to investigate some phony demon sighting report!"

Rory sighed. ��Alright. But I'm really not lying. It might be best to get out of town while we still can."

Devon looked up as a waitress strutted over to his booth and placed his meal in front of him, lifting the lid to reveal a mouthwatering braised pork over rice dish. "Enjoy your food," she smiled, turning around to walk back to the kitchen. Devon watched her ass jiggle as she walked, briefly daydreaming about what it would be like to just r*ape her right there as she served him.

As a guy who was raised up well-mannered, he would never even think of having those kinds of daydreams back when he was alive, but it was different here.

This new world wasn't all that real to him. There were already so many ridiculous things like the existence of elves and guilds and adventurers that made it feel like a video game of sorts, and he honestly couldn't care less about consequences in this fake world that the gods thrust him into for some phony ass second chance karma program.

To put it simply, he just didn't give a shit anymore. He played by the rules the entirety of his last life, and look where that got him. Abused and miserable for years.

There were still some vestiges of his old personality in the way he acted, but the majority of his soul died with him in the other world. Right now, all he was was just an empty shell of a body. A body that refused to die, for some reason.

But man, this food tasted really good to him for some reason. Devon wolfed down the meal and just sat around for a while digesting.

"Waitress!" he shouted, getting the attention of the busty waitress from before.

"Yessss?" she replied while heading towards him to take his order.

"A beer, please."

"Alright~" she said, taking down the order. "Is that all?"

"Yes, please."

Nodding, she headed back to the kitchen. Devon watched her walk back again, her thin waist and shapely thighs swaying back and forth as her long legs strut back to the kitchen. For a moment, he thought about ordering small food items a few more times just to see her ass shake, but decided against it since he didn't want to blow all his money in one night like the madame said.

Suddenly, the door to the bar burst open, and three men in armored uniform with swords and rapiers strapped to their side stepped in.

One of the customers gasped. "The royal army!"

The soldiers spread out through the bar, ignoring the ruckus that their appearance made. They checked peoples' faces, as if they were looking for someone in particular.

Devon instinctually wanted to hide his face at first, but then thought about it some more. First of all, they were probably not looking for him. And second of all, what were they gonna do? Kill him? That was only doing him a favor.

One of the soldiers walked by Devon, barely even checking his face.

After scouring the entire bar, the captain of the soldiers walked to the front and raised his voice. "Have any of you seen this man?"

He raised a piece of parchment with a drawing of an older gentleman.

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Author's note:

Want lighting speed release rate compared to public? In the last two days, eight chapters have been released on patreo.n.com/melonball up to chapter 17! Check back tonight for even more ;)