D Minus

“Not a child.”“What?”Hajin burst out laughing while looking at the confident Jonghwa. He had found a copy of “The Little Mermaid” that Jonghwa had been reading while cleaning, and the cover had a mermaid with pants drawn on the scales. It seemed like the kind of doodling done in elementary school, but Jonghwa was already thirty.“Can you read all of this?”“Yeah.”“You can tell the difference between ‘ㅢ(wi)’ and ‘ㅎ(hi)’?”“I don’t get them mixed up anymore.”Jonghwa boasted. Hajin barely held back another burst of laughter at Jonghwa’s proud posture. Just then, the pot on the stove started boiling. Hajin quickly ran over and lifted the lid, releasing the savory smell of the anchovy broth. Today’s lunch was kalguksu (knife-cut noodles). Jonghwa, who had come over, sniffed the aroma.“Eat a lot.”“You’re really good at cooking.”“I’ve been living alone for a long time.”The size of their bowls was different. Hajin handed a large bowl filled with noodles to Jonghwa and took a small rice bowl for himself. Jonghwa, frowning as he used his spoon to pick out the zucchini, said,“How can you live on such a small amount? Eat more.”“No, it’s fine. This is enough for me.”Hajin waved his hands to prevent Jonghwa from moving more noodles to his bowl. Jonghwa started eating only after Hajin picked up his chopsticks. When they first met, Jonghwa couldn’t even use chopsticks properly, but now he was pretty good at it.Jonghwa, diligently picking out zucchini, piled them onto Hajin’s bowl. Hajin frowned after sipping some broth.“You’re not a kid, why are you being so picky?”“I don’t like it.”“It’s good for you, just eat it.”“No. You eat what’s good for you.”There were childish sides to him. Hajin looked at the pile of zucchini in his bowl and laughed. Jonghwa slurped his noodles noisily, which Hajin initially found rude but now found endearing.“Why aren’t you eating?”“I’m not hungry.”“What… You haven’t eaten since last night. Why aren’t you hungry?”Jonghwa stopped eating when he noticed Hajin had put down his spoon. In truth, Hajin had no appetite and felt nauseous from the smell of food. It really seemed like his death was approaching. Hajin clasped his hands and rested his chin on them, tilting his head and smiling sweetly.“I’m really not hungry. I usually don’t eat much.”“…”Jonghwa silently stared at Hajin. The light brown eyes showed no hint of deceit, which made it hard to meet his gaze. Jonghwa’s eyes stayed on Hajin, creating a heavy silence.“Hey. It’s raining.”“What?”“Let’s go out.”It was an unexpected thing to say during a meal. Jonghwa pointed to the window where raindrops were pooling and stood up first, with Hajin following behind.“Where did you get these?”“I bought them earlier.”“Geez…”Jonghwa’s closet had two raincoats and two pairs of rain boots. He must have prepared them after hearing Hajin say he liked the rain. Watching Jonghwa dress him in the large white raincoat, Hajin smiled silently. He felt a lump in his throat and a tickle in his heart.“It feels like we’re going out to the paddy fields.”“Since we’re both guys, I bought blue ones, but maybe I should’ve gotten one pink.”“What pink? I like blue too.”With the blue rubber boots on, the outfit was complete. Jonghwa put on the hood to keep the rain off and clipped it to the raincoat. Finally satisfied, Jonghwa nodded. It was time to enjoy the rain he loved so much.The sound of rain was truly pleasant. Raindrops splashed into the puddles forming on the ground. Hajin crouched down in front of one, repeatedly dipping his finger in and out of the puddle reflecting his image.“Why do you like the rain?”“The sound of rain is soothing. It calms me down.”“What about snow?”“Snow?”“Yeah. Don’t you like snow?”“I like… snow too.”In truth, Hajin didn’t like snow much. He disliked the cold, and while snow was pretty when it fell, it became a dirty mess once it melted. But now he wanted to say he liked it. He wanted to live until the first snowfall of this winter. He felt that he could genuinely welcome the snow, which he didn’t particularly like.Jonghwa’s figure stood behind him, reflected in the puddle. A mischievous smile spread across Hajin’s face.“What are you doing?”He cupped his hands to scoop up water and flung it at Jonghwa. Surprised, Jonghwa frowned, then snorted in disbelief. Hajin’s mouth opened wide in a grin. He had once scolded Jonghwa for being childish, but now he was the one acting that way.Jonghwa, who had been sulking, joined in the water fight. Being fully geared to avoid getting wet was pointless. When Jonghwa stomped into a puddle with his big foot, a huge splash ensued. Hajin laughed heartily as he wiped the rainwater off his face.“I got mud in my mouth, damn it.”Jonghwa had tried to be considerate by avoiding splashing Hajin’s face, but Hajin aimed straight at Jonghwa’s face without hesitation. Spitting out the muddy water, Jonghwa’s soaked black hair looked amusing. Hajin couldn’t stop laughing loudly.“Let’s go inside now. You’ll catch a cold.”“This is fun.”“We can come out again next time it rains.”“…Okay.”Since it rains often, they decided to head inside for now. As Hajin reluctantly turned to go, he suddenly looked back at Jonghwa.“You carried me last time, so today I’ll carry you.”“What nonsense is that?”“Speak nicely. Come on, hurry and get on.”A sense of stubbornness took over. Hajin wanted to repay Jonghwa for carrying him around, showing him the rainy scenery with an umbrella strapped to his back in a ridiculous manner. He wanted to carry Jonghwa, who was over ten centimeters taller and much larger than him.“Geez…”There was a chuckle from behind. The smile on Hajin’s lips didn’t fade. With Jonghwa clinging to his back like a turtle, Hajin staggered forward, while Jonghwa pretended to be carried but walked on his own. They were making funny memories in the rain, another reason to be glad he liked the rain.＊＊＊His parents appeared in his dreams for the first time in a long while. When Hajin honestly told them he was following closely behind them, they silently shed tears. It felt so real that even after waking up, Hajin couldn’t open his eyes for a while, holding onto the lingering image.“This is something I used to do when I was a kid.”“I’ve never done it before.”“Then let’s do it now.”Not far from the neighborhood, there’s a beach popular with tourists. The two had come out to get some fresh air and decided to hang ribbons on the ‘wishing tree’ at the entrance. Jonghwa, who hadn’t been learning Korean for long, confidently opened the cap of the pen.“What should I write?”“Your wish.”“Just write a wish? This ribbon is so small.”“Just write small.”Hajin also picked up a pen, but writing felt somewhat embarrassing. After some thought, he scribbled his wish, while Jonghwa, watching him, busily started writing as well.I wish to leave with a smile.Hajin’s wish was simple. Life had been too harsh to have any grand hopes. So he made a minimal wish. That at the moment of departure, instead of shedding tears, they could both smile brightly.Park Hajin to liveJonghwa’s wish was even simpler and utterly unrealistic. As Jonghwa rubbed the pen marks off his fingers, he noticed Hajin staring at him and shrugged.“Who grants wishes? The tree?”“Yeah.”Hajin added nothing more and just smiled sweetly. It wasn’t bad that Jonghwa was wishing for the hope Hajin couldn’t bear to wish for himself. It made his heart swell a little.“Are you tired?”“I’m losing some strength.”“Get on.”Hajin’s condition was worsening. Barely ten minutes into walking on the beach, his breath became short and labored. Jonghwa, quick to notice the change, knelt down and offered his back. The old Hajin would have refused, waving his hands, but now he had no energy to do so.As Hajin wrapped his arms around Jonghwa’s neck and climbed onto his broad back, his view elevated. Jonghwa, supporting Hajin’s thighs, began to walk again. Hajin stared absently at the distant sea, listening to the sound of the waves.“Hey.”“Yeah.”“Are you really going to die?”“…What?”“Just… damn it…”Hajin frowned at the unexpected question. Jonghwa, stumbling over his words as if struggling to gather his thoughts, let out a deep sigh.“It just doesn’t feel real. You’re alive now, and though you’re sick, you seem fine. You eat well.”“…”“So it doesn’t make sense that you’ll suddenly die. It’s not like you were stabbed or beaten up. You look fine.”“…”“Damn… What a load of crap. Just ignore me.”The increasingly ragged breathing of Jonghwa didn’t bother Hajin at all. A faint smile appeared on Hajin’s lips. Despite the jumbled words, he understood exactly what Jonghwa wanted to ask.Instead of answering, Hajin gently stroked Jonghwa’s hair. He could see Jonghwa’s earlobes turning red. This time, Hajin laughed out loud.“Yeah. Maybe I’ll just suddenly die like this.”“…”“So you should take good care of your health too. If you neglect it when you’re young, you’ll end up like me.”The topic of impending death was never a light one. With each step forward, Jonghwa’s feet sank deep into the sand. No response came from him.“There are so many seagulls today. Let’s go buy some shrimp crackers.”“Why shrimp crackers?”“Seagulls love shrimp crackers, they eat them well.”“Geez… people don’t have enough to eat, and you want to feed the seagulls.”“Still.”Despite his gruff tone, Jonghwa’s feet were already heading towards the convenience store.“You just ate earlier, you greedy bastard.”Despite his scolding, Jonghwa was more earnest than anyone about feeding the seagulls shrimp crackers. Sitting on the fine sand, he picked up a cracker and held it up in the air, attracting a flock of seagulls. The sight of him, like a large wizard from a fantasy movie, made Hajin laugh out loud.“Damn it, what the hell.”“Gasp…”They had nearly finished a bag of shrimp crackers when it happened. As Jonghwa brushed off the crumbs from his hands, his face twisted in disgust. A seagull circling above had pooped on the back of his head. After a few seconds of stunned silence, he cursed under his breath and rubbed the back of his head with his palm.“That’s just spreading it around. You should wipe it with a tissue.”“Wow, they repay kindness with crap. After eating, they should at least be grateful, damn bird.”“Watch your language.”“Geez. If you get pooped on and speak nicely, you’re a lunatic.”Grumbling, Jonghwa grabbed a handful of sand and rubbed it on the back of his head.“Why are you rubbing sand on it?”Hajin smacked Jonghwa’s arm and took out a tissue from his pocket, carefully cleaning his tangled hair. The sun was already setting, casting a glittering glow on the vast ocean.“The sea is most beautiful in winter.”“Winter’s coming soon.”“Not early winter, when it’s really cold.”“Then we can see it then.”Now, his indifferent tone just seemed cute. Reflexively, Hajin laughed and shrugged his shoulders, taking a deep breath.“Will I be able to see it? This winter?”“Geez… of course, you will. Why wouldn’t you?”“Yeah, there’s no reason not to.”Even if death loomed, not every conversation had to lead to it. Hajin nodded and looked far away. As the color of the sea darkened, Jonghwa spoke first.“But what does leaving with a smile mean?”“What?”“The wish you wrote earlier.”“Oh…”He had almost forgotten. To leave with a smile. The yellow ribbon he had carefully tied to the wish tree. Biting his lip, Hajin leaned his head on Jonghwa’s shoulder.“Just what it says. I want to die with a smile.”“Damn it, how do you smile when you’re dying?”“It’s too sad to cry until the end.”“Geez…”“You just have to smile. I will, so you should too. There’s no one else but you who will be with me when I die.”Though it was a bit cruel and very selfish, Jonghwa would have to be the witness to his death, like it or not. He had become too afraid to leave alone. Jonghwa, dragging sand with his shoe, let out a scoff.“That’s insane.”Having no further words for the grumbling Jonghwa, Hajin just kept silent. He knew it was a difficult request. After sighing deeply several times, Jonghwa suddenly hugged Hajin who was leaning against him.“I wished for you to live.”“…Yeah, I saw.”“If it doesn’t come true, I’ll burn that tree down.”Though his tough words were endearing, Hajin no longer had the strength to laugh. His energy was rapidly depleting. He thought he couldn’t fall any lower, but even that was arrogance. Hajin closed his heavy eyelids, leaning into Jonghwa. Even when carried to the car, and then home, he only listened without opening his eyes.Laying Hajin on the bed and covering him up to his neck with a blanket, Jonghwa stifled his own breathing, finding his breaths annoying. The rude and impolite person he first met was gone, leaving only the gentle and kind Shin Jonghwa. Hajin inhaled his scent and pictured his first impression of Jonghwa in the darkness. He was so certain meeting Jonghwa was the worst thing in his remaining life.“Sleep well.”The light turned off. The sound of the door closing was followed by Hajin’s weak laugh. Now he knew. Meeting Jonghwa was the last gift given by the god who handed him death.Park Hajin to livePark Hajin to livePark Hajin to live healthily

Park Hajin to live longPark Hajin not to be in painLet me give Park Hajin some comfortThat night, the number of yellow ribbons hanging from the large rubber tree leaves in the living room increased day by day. Jonghwa, grinning innocently, pulled out a pocketful of ribbons. He had created a ‘wish tree’ just for the two of them.“According to the Gangwon-do Police Agency, the police conducted an emergency raid on the red-light district near Seojeonri Station around 3 a.m. today. They arrested A, the 48-year-old pimp, and about ten other individuals on charges of violating the Act on the Punishment of Acts of Arranging Sexual Traffic…“The red-light district demolition operation was successful. In March, the police obtained a USB containing information on the pimps and key figures in the red-light district near Seojeonri Station through whistleblower A. It was revealed that most of the sex workers had been sold under the pretext of debt, causing greater shock. …Meanwhile, the police are working to protect whistleblower A…Jonghwa’s efforts had borne fruit by early winter.＊＊＊Early one morning, Hajin watered the plants first and then started a thorough cleaning for the first time in a while. Folding a wet tissue long, he wiped the dust off the window sill, panting slightly. Now, even a little overexertion quickly exhausted him. If Jonghwa had seen this, he would have surely yelled about how a sick person shouldn’t be cleaning. Smiling faintly, Hajin thought of Jonghwa, who had left the house early claiming to have work.Bang bang. Bang bang bang.While diligently cleaning the rubber tree leaves adorned with numerous yellow ribbons, Hajin’s eyes widened like a rabbit’s. Someone was banging on the front door as if to break it down. It reminded him of his first encounter with Jonghwa. Could it be that he got stabbed again and couldn’t open the door? Worry filled Hajin’s mind, and he hurried to the door, his face stiffening.“Hello?”The person who appeared through the wide-open door was, fortunately, not Jonghwa. A man in a black leather jacket stood there, with another man in a shiny padded jacket peeking out from behind him. The voice came from the second man.“Is this Shin Jonghwa’s residence?”The man in the padded jacket asked. As Hajin, still unable to grasp the situation, blinked blankly, the man in the leather jacket rummaged through his pocket and took out something.Gangwon Provincial Police Agency, Inspector Han Sewon.“Uh…”“Sorry for the sudden visit. I’m Inspector Han Sewon.”The rectangular ID card featured a golden eagle, the man’s photo, and his affiliation. Suddenly, the news about the police working to protect whistleblower A from the red-light district crackdown came to Hajin’s mind.“We’re looking for Shin Jonghwa.”Caught off guard by the unexpected visitors, Hajin just stared at the swaying ID card in the man’s hand, unable to respond. Seeing no reaction, the two men looked at each other, seemingly confused.