Cursed Odyssey

"Oh Lord, who art in heaven,

Have mercy on my soul, and hear this plea of a heart forsaken.

Oh most merciful, I pray You show no mercy.

For the betrayal of one held dearest,

Let thine wrath be fiercest.

May agony and despair be their only companion.

May eternal damnation be forever etched upon their soul."

__

For the first time, Joseph Hartwell stood smiling, staring at a pair of graves on a rainy day.

The day of his parents' funeral.

"Lord bear witness… Today we gather to remember two souls, united in life and now in eternal rest. Together, now, they frolic in His eternal gardens... Away from the devils of this mortal life…"

"They will be remembered as good parents, tireless workers, and above all else, pious servants of the Lord. As they walk now with the angels, let us hold dear the love they lived, a ray of hope in our hearts forevermore."

Rows of graves stretched out as far as the eye could see, nestled between the large, rundown buildings of the downtown city. Yet, amidst this vast sea of tombstones, a notably large crowd had gathered around only two.

Joseph tugged at his worn suit collar, hung from his bony shoulders like a shroud. The rain felt cleansing against his face.

He smiled…He couldn't hide it.

"The poor child's gone mad with grief," a woman glanced towards him.

"He's clearly in shock, poor thing," another guest murmured. "This must be his way of coping with the trauma."

"Heh, don't feel bad for that devil's child… just look at the fuck'in runt grinning under his breath…"

"Martha and Robert were never the same ever since those two were born…" an uncle spat. "At least now they'll rot their life away…"

How crude. They did not even pretend to hide their animosity.

Joseph cared not for what he heard from those whispers as he calmly opened a clear umbrella, letting the downpour patter over it while thunder rumbled in the distance.

His eyes remained fixed on the twin tombstones glistening amidst the gray drizzle.

There were no tears. Instead, an odd sense washed over him as he watched the mahogany caskets lower into the ground.

Glancing around at the few guests in attendance, he saw some forbearing, some dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs, and many glancing straight toward him with eyes like daggers.

Devils all — their faces dark grimy silhouettes of uncouth shadows hissing in his ears like snakes. He cared not for them the same way they cared not for him. Yet in this domain of demons, he had his one angelic light.

"Don't worry Nina, it's going to be okay now." He whispered, looking down at the little girl clinging to his side. Her fingers trembled, and his grip tightened around hers to comfort, pulling her in closer. "I'll protect you, I promise…"

Two years younger than him, at ten, she stood no taller than his chest. Her blonde hair hung in wet clumps around her pale face, mud stains on her black dress, two sizes too large. She looked up at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes.

"O— Okay Joey…"

Lightning struck in the distance as the priest concluded the final blessing and the undertakers began shovelling dirt onto the caskets with methodical thuds.

One by one, the guests began vacating, leaving the two siblings alone. For long, nearly everlasting minutes, they stood silent, looking down at the names engraved on those rocks, before taking their first steps out, hand in hand.

Nina sniffled, looking back one last time at the damp plots where her parents would forever rest.

"They're in a better place now," Joseph knelt and said softly. But in his mind, his words couldn't have been more deceitful.

It's finally over…

He could not help but let out a low chuckle, mistaken by Nina for a sob. She squeezed his hand.

The streets shimmered beneath their feet as they walked home, streetlights painting puddles with fractured gold.

Joseph felt Nina trembling beside him. The city seemed like a silent observer— buildings scarred by graffiti, windows boarded or broken, sirens wailing in the distance.

Yet, amidst this sad yet mundane cacophony, the world around the siblings felt eerily hushed.

The peeling paint and broken shutters that edged their house stood out even amidst the slums.

Inside, the cramped rooms felt even smaller due to that filthy clutter. Stains splattered cracked off-white walls while empty beer bottles and overflowing ashtrays still crowded that wobbly coffee table that should have been thrown out ages ago, remnants of their father's nightly drinking binges.

Nina wrinkled her nose but said nothing, and Joseph's hand brought her forward with him as he stepped.

"Let's get you something to eat," he said, leading her to the kitchen.

He heated chicken noodle soup, the only edible thing in their near-empty cupboards, and watched as Nina ate with the cadence of a corpse, her tears falling silently into the bowl.

After dinner, he tucked her into bed, reading from her favourite storybook until her eyelids grew heavy.

Waiting until her breathing deepened, he carefully closed the creaking door and went to his room.

It was simple, much cleaner than the rest of the house. He made sure of that. Yet, it was nearly filled. Every spot on the wall had a shelf, and every shelf had thick books. Philosophy, math, science, all non-fiction with little for entertainment.

Finally, alone, that stoic facade of his cracked ever so slightly.

He peeled off his wet, mud-stained shirt and tossed it into the corner. It revealed a sight Nina should never see…

Fresh welts crisscrossed his back and chest, joining older scars that had long since whitened against his pale skin. Belt marks. Cigarette burns. The fresh imprint of a hand around his upper arm.

Sometimes it felt his body burned when it moved.

But he didn't care— pain meant nothing to him.

Melancholy… Perhaps that was what best described his expression as he sat on his bed, head in hand, thinking back on his early childhood.

But then he looked over to the bedside table, where he saw the bright yellow toolkit his father would always take to work.

"So quiet… They're actually gone…"

His grin once again returned as he twisted, looking up at his hands… blackened, injured, trembling hands, remembering the night prior.

Finally, after years under their "care", he and his sister Nina could breathe free air unsoiled by the stench of liquor and cheap tobacco.

Staring out the window, he saw rain turning to snow.

"Surely…" he took a deep breath

"Things will only be up from here… My dearest Nina…"

___

The days following the funeral were a whirlwind for young Joseph. Though freed from his previous shackles, new ones promptly came to take their place.

The responsibility of self-reliance and caring for his little sister quickly set in.

He had no other relatives, at least none willing to take them in, nor did their poor country's laws prohibit them from living alone.

More than before, life became a game of survival. But at least this time, it was on their own terms.

Despite hardship, Joseph grinned and never complained, at least infront of Nina.

He prioritized her needs above all else— preparing her meals, walking her to school, helping her with homework. At night, he soothed her nightmares, even sacrificing precious sleep to ensure she felt safe.

Forced to mature beyond his years, he managed their finances, budgeting every cent from the small inheritance while seeking work to support them. Yet no one would hire a twelve-year-old.

Soon, bills accrued and their fridge emptied.

Desperate, Joseph began picking up odd jobs just for scraps of cash and food. Cleaning storefronts, delivering papers— anything to provide for his precious sister.

But it wasn't enough. The electricity shut off. Debt collectors called daily. Eviction notices piled up.

Yet through it all, Nina kept her smile. She ignored her grumbling stomach and ate whatever scraps Joseph could provide. At night, she even sang softly to comfort him when she thought he was having trouble falling asleep.

This, his smile never left.

___

Days passed—

It was a stormy night in winter, lightning split the air, rain sounded like hail, some droplets even leaked from the roof, dripping slowly on Joseph's head.

Unperturbed, he sat in bed reading a book as if he were in another world, when suddenly—

He felt a slight nudge poking from his side.

"I thought you were asleep… Don't tell me it's another nightmare?" He turned his head, seeing Nina's shivering figure curled beside him.

"Mhm…" She slowly nodded.

There was a long silence before she finally spoke.

"Joey… Did—..." she paused again, biting her lip, then spoke… "Did mommy and Daddy hate us? Was… Was it my fault?"

…

Silence pierced deeper…

Tightness crawled up in Joseph's heart…

How could such a thought be instilled in her head!?

He had to choose his words carefully. "Yes, they did yell sometimes. But it wasn't your fault, Nina. Or mine." He struggled to find the right words to explain it to her; the true answer may have eluded him even more than her. "They just...had a really hard life, and didn't know how to handle it."

"Really?" She sniffled.

"Yes, of course it is! I'd never lie to you… ever

.." He put on a smile and ruffled her long, blonde, scruffy hair.

"B— But if that's true… Why do Uncle and Aunty hate us… They won't take us in…"

He shook his head, "They're too poor. It would never work,"

Yet It was them who paid for our parents' funeral.

"No one wants to… Not family… Even the bread shop next door wouldn't offer anything… You work so hard to keep us safe but it's not fair… You're still small…"

"Life's not fair…" He sighed, "But there's nothing we can do about it other than move forward. If there's, a problem, you find a solution. When you look at a chess board, when is it ever the right move to just sit and cry doing nothing?"

"Uhhh, never… We can surrender but we always try again… We always go forward… We have to have patience, and plan our next attack. Even if we lose, we tried our best and we try again!"

"Wow! You remember it word for word!!" Joseph beamed, playing with her cheeks.

Yes, there are times in an unwinnable game, that surrender is the most logical option, such as blundering a queen… He couldn't help but inwardly smile.

"Complaining won't solve a single thing. That's something you and I know all too well ever since we were born no?"

"Yes…" She coughed.

"But look at it like this!" Joseph abruptly rose, laughing out of bed. "We're alone in a poo hole! Sure, but who cares!? Look at us! Laughing like we have no care in the world!! As long as we have each other, we can survive anything!"

Sombre stillness overtook the room as the two stared at each other before Nina finally stood.

"Thanks, Joey… I'm glad I have you. You're the bestest big bro in the whole world…" She squeezed him tightly, her tears staining his shirt.

"And you're the bestest little sis ever, Nina. But I'm sure you already know how much you mean to me…" He hugged her back, fighting the feeling stinging his eyes.

*Grrrrr*

"Sorry Joey, thatttt was my stomach.. ." Nina chuckled, looking down with reddened cheeks.

Joseph's heart sank— the cupboards were bare.

"Sorry, we have nothing.. I'll get groceries first thing tomorrow morning! And—"

She just smiled up at him sweetly. "That's okay, big bro! I… I really don't mind. As long as I have you, I'm happy…"

It was a punch to the gut… No, her words hurt much worse than any physical injury…

"You deserve so much better… Why can't I do more..."

"You already do so much! How about I try and help you for once? Can I get a job too? One like yours Joey?" Nina asked excitedly.

"Hahaha! You're very strong, you know that?" Joseph laughed and ruffled her hair once more as he watched her eyes turning to stars.

"Is that a yes!?"

"It's a no, kiddo," Joseph spoke to her dismay. "You're only ten. Just focus on school. Let your big bro handle the jobs for now. But there is one thing you can do for me."

"What's that?"

"Keep that beautiful smile of yours shining bright. And never stop singing your sweet songs. That's all I need."

Nina beamed and threw her frail arms around Joseph in a big hug. "Okay Joey, I'll smile extra hard and sing extra loud every day, just for you!"

"Deal! Now you go to sleep! It's getting late and I don't want you to be late again for school!"

"Ah— okay—" She quickly nodded.

Only by Nina's smile and glowing spirit did Joseph find the motivation to push forward.

"Hey… Joey… The name Joey is getting boring now… Can I call you Jojo!?"

"Please don't…"

____

Weeks pass. Like a simple routine, all was in order.

Until it wasn't…

On one freezing night, returning home after yet another unsuccessful workday, Joseph noticed a strange silence.

No gentle singing…

No humming…

Nothing but the rattle of the winter wind…

The door to Nina's room seemed to have eyes, staring at him.

An odd sensation wrapped around Joseph's heart, one that he thought he'd never again feel. Images of shadowy, hand-like tendrils beckoned him to come closer, but at the same time screamed at him to run away.

Yet there was only one choice.

Wiping the sweat off his forehead, he walked, gradually raising his hand forward…

A deep breath— then slowly pushed the door wider.

Thin slice of moonlight slipped through the gap, its path unconsciously traced by his gaze.

The soft glow flowed from the window and cut through the darkness, casting an eerie light that finally landed on a face… Nina's face…

N—i—n—a—'s….

His eyes grew wide as twin moons, and the grip on his thumping heart tightened to the point of nearly bursting.

She was there, shivering, eyes clenched shut, tears streaming down her hollowed cheeks. Her nose ran as muffled sobs wracked her tiny, curled-up body, arms thin as bone tightly clenched her sunken stomach.

—

Joseph's knees nearly buckled. Breath caught in his throat. Never in his most harrowing nightmares had he pictured his sister in such a state.

Innocent Nina, who somehow always found light even in their darkest days, deteriorated to death's door.

Joseph fell against the door frame. He gripped his chest so hard it felt like all the air was sucked out his system in one fell swoop.

No…

How could he have failed her so completely? He was supposed to be her sanctuary, yet, the very light he swore to protect had seemingly been snuffed out.

No…

How long had she been hiding all this misery from him? For his sake?

He slowly took off his jacket, draping it over Nina's trembling form

He had promised to protect her. That everything would be okay. But in the end, those were nothing but empty words. She was worse under his care than that of even his good-for-nothing parents. The mere thought made his stomach turn.

"No… no… no… Where is her smile… Was it all for nothing… Bring it back…" Was all that consumed his mind, reeling as he stumbled away and burst out the front door into the cold blackness of the stormy dark.

That night felt like an unforgiving eternity.

The winter wind bit through his worn t-shirt and froze him even through his wool mask as he ran through the snowy blizzard of the downtown streets. Yet his own pain barely registered.

"Bring it back…" Those words he mumbled were the only thing keeping him conscious.

His steps were far from aimless. Joseph had a goal in mind— a store he would always pass on his commute to work.

Looking around, he expected to see not a soul, for who would be crazy enough to walk around in the middle of a blizzard? But to his surprise, there was one; a tall figure leaning on a lamp on the other side of the street smoking a blunt.

Evidently someone crazy— he doubted they would intervene so he paid them no heed.

Taking a deep breath, he tightened his mask.

No time for hesitation— he picked up a loose brick fallen from nearby construction and walked up to the dark storefront. Peeking through the clouded windows something seemed to glisten.

His heart pounded against his ribs and sweat dripped down his neck despite the winter chill.

Oh such gorgeous jewels inside; even the cheapest item would solve all his worries.

Nina's flame was beautiful, too young to be extinguished. To shelter that flame, to see it blossom with no hardship, what price was too little?

…

He took a moment…

A deep breath…

Then brick shattered glass...