Cursed Explorer of the Arcana

Blissful ignorance is not named like that for nothing. They want me – the me, young, objectively feeble, and not a model Mage – to do something about that thing… An absolute abomination of flesh, mana, and basically an entire mine added and mixed well. I'll work with the tools I have, I guess.

By the time everyone schools their expression and stops asking useless questions I refuse to answer, Victor does what he was asked to. I get my corpse. Dragging it away a lot, plop down and get to work.

It's crushed, bloody, a disgusting vomit magnet, really, and very much human. There are even a few pieces of armor left on the poor guard who failed to escape in time. And man, am I excited to get my hands on this one…

Perhaps this is my first step towards those corpse puppet mages we've learned of. Unethical, sure, and the flesh without a soul and Skills is worth less than dirt, but I see potential in their work.

"Unethical and punishable by losing a hand or two…" I hum to myself while drawing umbral lines into the skin. "But at least this one might stay intact for a second or two inside that magic maelstrom."

Corpses are the only resource around with inherent magical properties.

While I'm merrily, elbow deep inside the remains, the adults are preoccupied with trying to chip away at the chimera golem. So while they're not looking, I sneak a rock into the guts with some extra aether magic.

Because, of course, a simple explosion won't do miracles here. Anyone familiar with magic would know that well. Only this can hope to wrestle against bonded mana.

To eat and scatter… That's the purple spark's duty this time around. Once the original catalyst of the essence furnace is disrupted, nothing should keep it running.

Now, the corpse will still explode. I'll make it nice and flashy to make it believable. And Kayla's birds will do the delivery.

The inscriptions on the corpse turn out like tattoos, covering on the back that's more or less intact. The inherent mana left lingering in the flesh makes my job extra difficult, but I'm good, so that's that. A lot of mana gets pumped into this one, draining me to almost risky levels.

About a minute of concentrating in this nauseating atmosphere of mana is all it takes to do my witchcraft. Like doing a handstand on a ship in the middle of a storm after chugging spoiled goat milk…

By now, the monstrosity is almost up to half the size of the cutie hedgehogs we fought last week. The amount of flesh visible is minuscule compared to the dirt, stone, and plants present in the mix.

And it's still moving and still eating, albeit much slower. The mana is stretched too thinly, it seems.

"That makes it all the easier." I wipe some rebellious sweat from my forehead and drag the corpse along with me. "Good to go!" Announcing the results, all eyes turn towards the bomb.

Victor feels the need to point something out. "You do know this is creepy as hell, right?"

The looks all around confirm his stance. Worse yet, I'm certain many of the soldiers around are contemplating whether to put some cuffs on me or not once this is all done. Just to be clear, if I were them… I would. Just for the bonus or shoulder pats.

But let's worry about that after things here are cleaned up. And of course, if it all comes together…

"Kayla?!" Instead of looking around, I just yell loud enough.

"Here, here!" The girl rushes over from the nearby patch of woods that's still mostly intact. "I wasn't sure what you needed. So I just called a lot!"

As if answering her call and making it extra dramatic, a flock of birds of all colors and shapes burst through the thin canopy. From eagles to woodpeckers, common pigeons, and even some beasts, clearly carnivorous, fly towards me.

"That should do…"

I peel off all extra armor and useless limbs to make their job a little easier. Reducing weight will go a long way, and I'll answer to Malor and the poor lad in the afterlife for this one. For now, you, brave soldier of Turan, will be more useful in death than your comrades are right now.

The adults need no additional instructions as to what their role is. Alvaro, Mum, and the grumpy woman of Turan do an especially outstanding job of hacking away at the swirling mass of mana and stone.

"That way!" To coordinate their effort, I throw a fireball into the mix.

Although I'm firmly out of my league here, when it comes to destroying things, I do have my pride as a Mage. The explosion is spot on, as juicy as it's meant to be… And does about as much as one would expect.

"Kayla?" I check on the preparations.

Her birdies are already firmly latched onto my great work. Maybe because some of them are carnivorous, and the corpse is literally like a meal.

"Ready!" She yells.

Ah, what a nice day we have. Job's done early, the target is not only large, but without the ability to fight back, and even warrants my use of questionable magic… And if I do manage to fuck up, so what? The senior generation will take care of it.

Hopefully.

"All yours then!" I sit back and watch the show for once.

As birds finally take off, Alvaro and the only one, even a shadow of his centuries-old might, finally turn serious. As knights the both of them, dealing damage at a distance isn't their forte, yet I have faith. Swinging their swords through thin air, Skills and attributes kick into play, unleashing powerful strikes.

Wind that cuts like a thought, flames that incinerate without a sound upon touch, and even the magic of darkness. That has me gawking with stars in my eyes as the strike pulls back right before impact, and then slams in anyway, sticking and clawing like some thick goop.

I like weird Skills.

"One more!" With Mana Perception, I see them getting close to the core.

Alvaro gives it another monumental slash, almost bisecting the madness golems entirely. Kayla's capable enough to recognize the opportunity, and commands her birdies to fly in – alongside all the debris and rampant mana – and drop their payload.

Of course, half of them perish before reaching their target, and the rest fall short of bringing the mangled body all the way to the core. That's fine, though. This margin of mistake has been part of the calculation from the start.

Upon contact, the twisted mana digs straight through the avian bodies and rips into my unique explosive as well. And that's exactly the trigger I had set for detonation, a disruption to the circuit.

Pretty simple and straightforward, actually.

The boom sends a ripple through the entire cavalcade of matter and magic. Flames, tremor, a heatwave… The works. This spectacle, along with the stone turning molten around it, serves as the perfect justification for success.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Which we do mostly achieve.

My aether does its job, and the dissolving formation is definitely gone. I can feel it. No dramatic roar or monstrosity coming crumbling down, just a snap, and gone. That's because the souls within those things still seem to be around.

"It lives." I observe with academic precision. "A little anticlimactic…"

Since the mana concentration is minuscule compared to the total mass, and there are no muscles or limbs, the thing can't move at all. Like a poorly made golem, or a statue, with some extra mana and a horrid stench.

"Maybe this is how the chimera pebble was made…" The revelation rekindles my interest in the special little thing back in the Academy. "What do we do about it?"

"Nothing." Alvaro says plainly. An answer to my liking. "They might…" He turns his head towards the south, watching the sky.

I can't see crap. The sky is clear, and a fluffy cloud that looks like a tree getting humped by a bear is the only interesting sight. I'm sure Val would like that one as well.

Warriors tend to have Skills to sharpen their senses, so I'm not actually surprised my eyes can't pick up on anything. By touching my index finger and thumb on both hands, and some clever light magic, I create a botched spyglasses.

Lot's of adjusting later – enough to make whatever we're looking at get a lot closer – I finally spot the massive winged figures in the distance.

"Not them again…" Whining is my instinctive reaction at the sight. Always late, never of any use, and a real pain in the ass to deal with.

"Let me, let me!" Kayal hugs me from behind and aligns my hands with her eye. "Are those griffins? They have such pretty wings!"

"Yeah, they are…" I sigh, weighing my odds of making a run for it. I did, after all, do a little bad this time around. "Should I be worried?" A fair question leaves my mouth.

Instead of answering, Alvaro turns his gaze towards the sole representative of the country's authority around. He won't snitch. My parents and friends won't snitch…

"I don't know what you're talking about." She replies, rigid as usual. Then she turns to her troops. "Assess the damage and check on the villagers as well! I will welcome the dignitaries of Epros."

Oh, suit yourself. Better yet, pay us, and we're already out of your hair as if we've never set foot in the area. Just do it quickly!

Our odd group of adventurers also lines up to seem as normal and unassuming as possible. Seven griffins, each of them humongous and carrying one to four passengers, while looking truly damn majestic.

Since it's only us, the pitiful amalgamation of everything nearby, and a complete mess around, the beasts land to encircle us, and the troops assume a combat stance. Blast first, ask later seems to be a motto we share.

However, there's one person who arrives with leisure.

"Ah, it is you again." The man declares with a melodic voice.

"Urgh, you again?" I mutter under my breath and hide behind Dad.

Fancy robe, a nauseating smile, and the scroll strapped to his chest, announcing his office.

Lord Inquisitor Damien

"We have received reports of blasphemous activities." A knight in full armor removes her helmet, revealing golden locks and icy blue eyes. "Please cooperate!"

Of course, Judge Katherine is in the company. The duo that robbed me of an entire month of my life for nothing.

I knew taking on this job was a stupid idea. The opponents were too easy, and the giant monster became crippleded from a single strike in the end. I've done my fair share of reading fairy tales to know the good guys never wrap things up this easily.

Not to mention, the Inquisitors are supposed to be the good guys on paper.

"My name is Dorothea Glasc, Captain of her Majesty's retinue…" The lady, whom I've only been referring to as 'the lady', steps forward. "I will serve with a detailed report."

"Good. Very good." Damien nods, while stealing glances my way instead of the speaker.

I'd love to leave the discussion up to the two of them, I really do… But there's one more thing.

"I know the culprits have already escaped." Reaching into my bag, I pull out my half of the spatial doorways scroll. "But maybe you can still catch up to them."

"How?!" The Judge, and more hands-on, of the Inquisitors' demands. "Where are they?"

Raising a finger to ask for some patience, I unfurl the scroll on the ground, prepare a quill, and a coin. A few of the scarce sentinels of continental law examine my goods with great interest. Finally, people who can understand magic.

"I'll need mana. Lots of it. As much as you have, all of you." It's an odd request I make, and nobody is extra enthusiastic to help. Except for Kayla. "The faster the better."

However, Damien steps forward with his usual, soul-scouring eyes. "Very well. Whenever you're ready."

Instead of trying to activate a gate large enough for a horse to walk through, I rearrange the crystals and make some modifications to the lines. The connection doesn't need to be stable, and a door the size of my fist is good enough.

As a last measure, I attach a string of arcane mana to the coin before activating the formation. The lines begin sucking up all the mana they come into contact with immediately. I don't even think of adding my measly reserves to the bottomless well. That'd be pointless.

"What exactly does this do?" The man asks only now. He clearly is just trying to curry favor, even now.

"Open a special doorway to our slippery thieves." I answer offhandedly while trying to keep track of the amount of mana expended. "Questions later! Next!"

I need more mana, more people, more power! Because if those bastards already dragged me into this by acting up and robbing an entire city blind, then I'll sure as hell send the hunting dogs after them. No rest for the wicked.

So after Damien, Dad runs out of mana, then Mom, then Alvaro begins to empty his reserves into the scroll of arcane gluttony.

"With the spatial coefficient of one point one, distance traveled and space breach condition of establish-" While I mutter under my breath, scribbling down the formula, the magic finally happens.

Without a sound and as seamlessly as a curtain getting pulled aside, the square on the paper becomes something much more. Which basically means darkness and some more paper.

"The scroll is rolled up, as expected." I comment.

"Now what?" Kathrine asks with her sword drawn and griffon at her call.

"Shush, they might hear you." I whisper because people seem to have lost their common sense today.

But mostly because I really wanted to see her face when a kid like me tells the mighty Judge to shut her mouth. And it's worth it, so very worth it.

"If we damage the paper, the link might break, and we can't exactly fit through." I state our facts and drop the coin through with the mana string still in my hand. "You can stop now."

Alvaro gives me a side-eye, finding himself on the other end of not explaining things properly this time. Well, he either does as I say, or we can wait until his mana runs dry.

As if to prove me wrong, the magical doorway twitches. It's not the lines, or mana, but space itself that finds the connection loathsome. The anomaly makes everyone take a big step backwards from the scroll.

Without gentle care, the magic fizzles out, collapsing the spatial frame like a sandcastle under a tsunami. As the previous fracture in the fabric of space closes unguided, the residue mana snaps through the inscriptions and inadvertently cracks the synchron crystals.

But instead of the scroll, my head turns towards the east as I feel a tug on my mana.

"It's ruined." Kathrine laments our failure. Then she notices me scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. "What are you doing?"

Either I finish this properly, or I give you an answer, woman! Shut your damn mouth when you see someone deep in thought. Fuck, I can only guess the aggregate mana expenditure, and then let's not mention the purity of the crystals, and their function… This is all so new.

After about a minute, I finally come up with an answer. "That way!" I point east. "About fifty minutes of walking, give or take ten."

The equations I've learned back in the Academy finally paid off.

Damien nods, and three griffons take off without much fanfare. This is as much as I can do with what we have. Some trackers and a chrono mage might be able to dig up some more and trail after the culprits, but I doubt they've brought any.

Alvaro crosses his arms. "About our pay?" He asks as politely as our kind is capable of. Krieg doesn't ask nicely twice, after all.

"Before that, I'd have a few questions for all dear participants present." Damian straightens out his robe and speaks with benevolence. "For the sake of preventing future incidents."

"That's what you said last year as well." I comment quietly. Our interests don't really align here. We want to move on, they want us to stick around.

Dorothea, on the other hand, proposes a third way. "I believe the Queen would love to hear more about this herself." Then she moves her eyes to us specifically. "And reward the heroes herself."

Heroes?

I look back through all the mischief and tricks that led me here… Yeah, nah. I chopped up a corpse, lied through my teeth, blackmailed the guards, threatened some poor villagers, and demanded exorbitant sums for it all along the way.

And I'd do it again.

"We shall gracefully accept the invitation." Alvaro doesn't hesitate to agree. When looking at him questioningly, he only winks.

Ah, so this is the reward, even better than the coin he mentioned? Some royal treasure, maybe, or the hand of the prince or something… It better be good stuff.

"What happened to the chimeras, if I may ask?" Damian looks around and speaks like he's a wuss. He's pissing me off again.

"You're looking at it." I point towards the unmoving amalgamation still teeming with mana and souls. "All yours, for a price, of course." I pack my things and leave him gawking.