Cricket

25

Something So Trivial

Cricket patted the last clone on the back then touched his forehead sweetly to the shadow's forehead—the closest the insectoids could really get to a kiss.

"Ah, it's good to see you guys!"

"Did they all return?" Jeshu looked around, counting.

"Yeah," Cricket said. "Looks like we haven't lost any yet."

"How... strong are they?" Scorpion asked, a little nervous.

Cricket scratched his head, but got a little distracted by one of the clones throwing rocks at a confused slime some distance away.

"Um... well, they're a little stronger than me. They start out weaker... but these ones have been out a long time."

"Do you mean, like muscular strength?" Scorpion asked. "Because I'm curious about their other abilities."

"What, like speed?"

"Sure."

"Well, they're a little faster than me."

One of the returning clones scowled.

Cricket, oblivious to the scowl, still managed to amend the claim on his own. "Maybe a lot faster. But it isn't really fair, because they're lighter. So, you know... stronger and lighter equals faster."

Jeshu helped the wounded azaeri commander to her feet, and the brigade began to leave the abandoned ruins, following Oydd's lead.

"Superiority is never fair," Jeshu commented. "Kind of a roll of the dice."

"Ricket's the strongest, but he's kind of heavier, so he's not as fast." Cricket gestured toward the unarmed clone. "Oh, they can also jump a little higher than me, for the same reason."

"Ricket?" Oydd asked. "Where does that nickname come from?"

"Oh... that's funny. I don't remember." Cricket looked expectantly at the clone, who only shrugged back. "I remember it made sense at the time."

Bax returned, running on his little legs, and gave a quick solute to the entire assembly.

"I've got five magma puddles out. They're a lot hotter than any of us... especially the azaeri. Birds are... no offence," he added with a nod to a nearby archer, "not very hot."

The archer did look a little offended.

"Why aren't there any wraiths here?" Cricket asked.

Oydd answered without hesitation. "There is no food source for them."

"How do you know that?"

"Because there are no wraiths here," Oydd replied. "I suppose they cannot eat the slimes. The slimes, on the other hand, eat the dethkiri, which is why there are no dethkiri."

"Really? How do you know that!" Cricket asked, excited.

"Because the slimes are made up of the same materials, albeit reconstituted. Evidently, they can even digest the dethkirok plating."

"Then, with no dethkiri, they must be starving!"

"I'm not convinced they get hungry. I don't believe they're animals, per se. Simply chemicals responding to other chemicals. And," he pointed out at two slimes stalking one of Bax's warm illusions, "have you noticed none of them are twice as large as any of the others? I suspect they reproduce by dividing if they consume enough. And if they don't, they simply don't divide, or perhaps even merge with others if they get too small."

"Aren't we just chemicals responding to other chemicals?" Bax asked. "When does it count?"

"Well, they don't have brains, for example," Oydd responded.

"At a molecular level," Bax argued, "there aren't any brains. Even murder is just molecules bumping into other molecules—hard to distinguish from a handshake... under a microscope, that is. Ethics sort of fall apart under a microscope."

Oydd sighed in annoyance, but seemed lost in thought, pondering the gnome's words.

"Odd," Jeshu observed, "that the slimes seem to be at the top of the food chain?"

"Top of the food chain?" Oydd repeated, perplexed.

"Yes, you know... the circle of life."

"Oh, I understood. I just don't see how there's a top to the food chain."

"You haven't heard that expression before?" Jeshu looked to Cricket as well.

The insect answered. "I agree it doesn't make sense. It's more of a circle. You know, bats eat bugs, bugs eat mushrooms, mushrooms eat bats—the carnivorous ones, anyway."

Jeshu thought on this and laughed. "That is more of a circle. On the surface, there are some predators that are not themselves prey. So we call them the top of the chain. Like lions for example. Or humans."

"Lions don't eat humans?"

Jeshu frowned. "Well, not... often."

"Aren't they squishy like Bax?" Cricket huffed as he climbed a short crop of rock. "I'll be surprised if Bax makes it out of Sheol without getting eaten. He doesn't even have a shell." Cricket furrowed his antennae then asked, genuinely curious, "Nothing eats lions? Not demons, maybe?"

"There aren't a lot of demons on the surface."

"Are there a lot of lions?"

Jeshu stammered. "Well, no... not really."

In time, the rock walls narrowed, and only the road could be seen in either direction, seemingly dissolving in the gloom.

Bax left his magma slimes behind, and a wall of tar soon formed around them, squealing, and attacking based on temperature without the ability to learn or adapt.

"We're nearly to the ziggurat," Oydd said reverently.

"What's a ziggurat?" Scorpion asked.

"It's like a temple," Cricket answered, to the rudra's surprise. "A bit like a temple and a bit like a pyramid."

"That is correct," Oydd confirmed. "And this one is massive. Larger than the miles of city we passed."

"Really?" Cricket asked.

"Not by much, but I believe so."

"Are the wraiths coming back?" Cricket looked back in the direction of the slimes.

"No..." Oydd scratched his tentacles and answered again with greater certainty. "This location was chosen for its seclusion."

"Do you remember any more?" Jeshu pressed.

Oydd shook his head, but then his eyes went wide and he stopped in his tracks. The trollblood, Gad, made a soft, sympathetic moan, seeing its master hesitate. The mutant, Skunk joined in mindlessly, simply mimicking the sound.

"The Dethkira."

"What?" Cricket stooped to pick up a surprisingly well-rounded rock.

The rudra stopped scratching his beard, but his hand still covered his beak as he took a deep breath. Jeshu gave him room to think, as the distracted Cricket secured the shiny bauble in his pouch.

Finally the insect asked, "What's a Dethkira?"

Jeshu attempted to answer, to avoid interrupting the rudra's train of thought. "It sounds feminine."

"Like a girl dethkirok?" Cricket said with too much interest.

"Like a... queen?" Jeshu guessed.

Oydd, only half listening, nodded, then raised a hand to order the others to gather around him. The group looked far less impressive than when they had set out, almost down to half the size. He looked over the tired faces, and exhausted spell casters. Some of the lights had begun to wane and flicker.

"Yes," he said at length. "A queen. I suppose that's accurate. Similar, I think, to a hive. But..." The rudra winced, as if digging up the memory taxed him. "But she's not with her brood. Not the bulk of them. She was... brought here to be secluded, I think."

"But wh—" Cricket began.

"Quiet!" Oydd whispered, with more anxiety than annoyance. Cricket obeyed, but not without visible difficulty.

Oydd began to draw a map at his feet with the tip of his rod. He outlined a square, then began to draw lines through it that looked like tunnels. He stroked his tentacles again, like a beard.

"Xitra dethkirov," he said softly.

"What's a dethkirov?" Cricket asked in growing alarm.

Oydd shook his head. "Sorry. I said 'the queen of the dethkiri'."

"But you said 'dethkirov'," Scorpion replied.

"Yes, I did, but it's... just a case."

The others waited for further explanation, until Oydd clarified. "It's the genitive plural of dethkirok."

Cricket nodded, pretending to understand, but the others waited in silence, until Oydd sighed and added, "It's not important."

"But we have to kill the Dethkira?" Jeshu asked. "Is that right?"

"Well, not if you mean is the grammar right. It would be dethkiru, since it's the feminine accusative case. But... if you mean as far as killing the queen..."

"Wait, we can't just say dethkiri and dethkirok?" Scorpion interjected, clearly annoyed.

"Of course you can!"

"But it's wrong?" He snipped.

"Well, yes, it's often wrong, but... I've been trying to simplify it. For example, if they're all male, it would actually be dethkiroki, and not dethkiri at all."

"But they have been all male," Scorpion replied.

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"Well, yes... incidentally."

"Why do we have to kill the queen?" Cricket asked.

"I never said we had to kill the queen."

"But killing her puts her in the... accusative case?" Jeshu asked.

"I don't think this is the time..." Oydd began to massage his forehead.

"I'll put her in the accusative case!" Cricket boasted ominously.

"How many dethkirov do we have to fight?" Scorpion asked, trying to change the subject.

"No, that's... actually the instrumental case, so it's not..."

"Well, what's the instrumental case?" Scorpion growled.

"It's not that simple. You're using the animate plural instrumental form... It would be 'fight with the dethkirokami'."

"How the shit am I supposed to learn all that!"

"I never asked you to!" Oydd snapped, exasperated. "I purposefully left it at dethkirok and dethkiri for simplicity! I know none of you want to learn Rudric! And I never forced it on anyone!"

"I agree this isn't the time," Jeshu replied, "but I actually do want to learn Rudric."

"Fine! But not now!"

"Yes, I said not now, but I didn't want you to think—"

"Jeshu." Oydd said the name so pointedly that the druid dropped the thought mid-sentence, which was surprisingly difficult for him to do.

Oydd took a deep calming breath and stared at his crude map. After a short silence he sighed. "We may have to kill the queen."

"Is she growing an army?" Cricket asked.

Oydd shook his head. "Well, yes, I suppose, but you can't really grow an army in a short time with one queen, can you? There's more to it. I don't... I don't see it clearly, but I know it is a key piece in Shisu's plan."

"But she's here too?" Jeshu asked. "Shisu, I mean."

Oydd nodded, then paused. "No... Maybe? She's... here and... she's not here."

"That's idiotic," Scorpion replied.

"I don't mean to be cryptic. I simply have memories of both, which is admittedly odd. I suppose we'll find out when we get there."

"When we get where?" Jeshu asked.

"The dais, or the... sanctuary at the top of the ziggurat. But, it goes into the ceiling, so we can't just climb up the outside. We'll have to go through."

"And that's what you're drawing?"

"Yes. It's a bit of a maze, and some of the hallways are flooded. I was debating whether we could avoid the water, but... in my memories, the elder rudra swam. So I imagine that is the only way."

"Can the azaeri swim?" Jeshu asked.

Cricket answered. "Only on the top of the water. They're pretty good at that. But they're worse than me at diving."

"For the same reason they're better than you at flying," Oydd replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cricket glared, his antennae crossing.

"Nothing offensive! They have lighter bones. Or... their bones are lighter than your shell. I'm just stating facts!"

"Hmph! Everyone's better at flying than me." Cricket eyed one of his clones jealously. "Except you, Jesh."

At this, the druid actually frowned and began to look about the group to verify the claim.

Oydd's visage still looked troubled, but he stood and wiped away the map. "Well, let's secure a camp at the base of the ziggurat, and review our options from there. I need a little time to think."

Oydd started down the road, and the wall of azaeri soldiers parted for him, looking a bit disoriented at each other.

Despite the dryad attending to her wound, Ja'hek passed in and out of consciousness, and her second in command, Rahk, took to relaying orders. A gruff, almost plump azaeri, somewhat shorter than the others, Rahk often had to squawk twice before the others fell in line.

Oydd walked slowly and heavily and Cricket stayed at his side silently, fortunately distracted by machinations of his own.

A thick, black substance began to coat the rock walls as they neared the temple, stretching out in veinlike tubules—as thin and branching as spiderweb at first, but slowly they grew to the width of Cricket's forearm.

A thick, putrid slime covered the sickly, partially collapsed tendrils, and the smell grew as they pressed farther.

Once, without a word, Cricket stepped close to the wall and sliced into the throbbing, greyish flesh.

A stream of pressurized goo squirted violently from the rupture. Cricket hopped back and barely avoided being sprayed in the face.

"Oh, it's more like an artery!"

"What!?" Oydd spat, resisting the urge to lecture the insect.

"It looked veiny. But it's pumping stuff into the rock. These ones..." Cricket pointed at a collapsed tube, "are the veins."

The splurting slowed. Oydd observed the decayed, rotting rock near the tubules, and offered no critique to Cricket's theory. A black, speckled mold spread along the stone, and the large pores in the rock—covered with and oozing a black ichor—now more closely resembled organic material.

The group came upon the waterlogged, bleached remains of a dethkirok, with only the plates and bones remaining—its flesh long decomposed. The plates looked oddly pale, and hundreds of tiny holes wormed through the bone, giving it the appearance of volcanic rock.

Jeshu simply looked to Oydd, but the rudra offered no explanation and pressed on.

In time, even the cobblestone path grew soft and putrid, squishing and pulsating beneath their feet.

"Oydd," Jeshu said softly.

"What?"

"We need to know if this is safe."

"Of course it's not safe!" Oydd quipped.

"We need to know... how dangerous it is."

Oydd huffed. "Your opinion is as valid as mine."

In the distance, two more white lumps, that appeared to be more dethkirok corpses, materialized from the darkness. However, as the brigade neared, the husks lurched, and rose to their feet. Holes, similar to the previous remains pocked the dethkiri, and thin, hairlike worms emerged from each cavity, extending several feet from the diseased demons.

"This is where the parasite originated," Oydd stated. "If it were native to Sheol, it would have been present in more of the wraiths."

"You believe Shisu introduced this... contamination?" Jeshu asked.

"I'm certain of it," the rudra said sadly.

One of the rotted dethkiri collapsed under the weight of its own adamantine armor as it approached. The other, carrying only a spear, trudged slowly forward.

"These ones are decrepit, and offer no real threat," Oydd said to Cricket, though he shivered and his voice faltered. "Save for the parasites. Avoid contact until we know how it's transmitted."

Cricket nodded. He circled the beast, with uncharacteristic caution, and eventually two of his clones took the initiative and cut it down with their polearms.

Cricket approached the remains and stuck out his tongue in disgust.

"That was harder than it looked," he bragged halfheartedly.

Only moments later, the steps of the ancient ziggurat emerged from the shadows, slick and pulsing with slime.

"Cricket," Oydd breathed.

"Yes?"

The rudra hesitated. "Though I hate to admit it, I imagine you've devised a better combat plan than I could?"

"Well, several, but I don't know the layout. Which... is why I had to make several plans."

"What's your favorite?"

"We split up and look for clues."

Oydd's eyes practically bulged out of his head. "It's never a good idea to split up the party. We've been over this a thousand times!"

"But that's the allure! If we bring an entire army in there, it's not very impressive if we win."

"What is your most effective plan?"

"Well, obviously bringing in an entire army."

"But you said you didn't think the azaeri could make it through the floods." The rudra hastily added, "There is a bit of a dive involved."

"Oh, yeah?" Cricket counted the non-azaeri members of the group. "That doesn't leave us with much. Me, you, Jeshu, Scorpion, Bax, Gad, Skunk... and Spindle makes eight."

"I'm here too," the mouseling whispered from the dryad's shoulder.

"Oh, sorry, Patches. I forgot you were here."

Patches laid her head on the druid's neck and tried not to frown. She pulled her tail against her chest, holding it near the pink bow.

"And my nine clones. That should be plenty, and we'll want to guard our flank anyway... Where is Spindle?"

"She's been avoiding me," Scorpion answered.

"What? Why?"

"It's for the best. I don't think she should come with us. She's not..."

The others waited for some explanation, but the ratling's eyes simply narrowed as he stewed on his thoughts.

"She attacked me..."

Oydd looked confused for a second, then let out an abrupt laugh, which he quickly snuffed.

"What's so funny!" Scorpion roared, his face red.

"I... I'm sorry, I didn't believe it would be an issue. I..."

Cricket looked from Oydd to Scorpion, then back again, trying to make sense of the exchange.

Eventually, Oydd calmed himself and explained slowly. "Changelings are very... aggressive when they... select a mate."

"Aggressive!" Scorpion yelped. "She stabbed me!"

Oydd clamped his beak shut to avoid laughing again.

Scorpion's eyes grew wide. Suddenly, a look of shock replaced the anger. "You said you didn't think it would be an issue!"

"Well, yes... I didn't."

"Why wouldn't she like me!"

"It's not personal..." Oydd muttered. "Cricket told me she hated ratlings."

"That was my theory," the insect joined. "I figured, if Oydd turned me into an octopus, I wouldn't be very happy."

"I didn't turn her into a ratling!"

"Well, someone did."

Jeshu tried to be the voice of reason. "That's not really how it works."

Scorpion groaned loudly, flushing, if possible, a deeper red.

"Look," Oydd responded. "Many species... 'test' the suitability of their mates, before..."

"Stop saying that!"

"No, I get what he means," Cricket said. "A lot of insects try to kill each other, and then they're only attracted to the ones they can't kill."

"Jade was not into you," Jeshu said calmly.

"No... no, I'm not talking about that! There are spiders where the female tries to eat the male, and then if she gets too tired, they mate instead."

"You've told us multiple times," Jeshu replied.

"And then praying mantises... they actually eat the male!"

Jeshu listened, though it was clearly not new information. He bit his tongue.

"After mating, that is."

"Stop saying that! I'm not... mating with anyone."

"We're not talking about you..." Cricket said, confused.

"Well, regardless of the reciprocity," Oydd cut back in, "she has expressed an interest in you. I'm sorry if it was... more intense than was to your liking. If you're interested back—"

"Can we return to..." Jeshu began, but Scorpion cut him off.

"Wait, what would I do?"

"Well... I imagine you would need to be forceful back. What did you do when she stabbed you?"

"I shoved her down!" Scorpion said, as if it were obvious.

"And how did she respond to that?"

Scorpion thought back and then blushed again.

"Well, there's your answer."

Scorpion swallowed hard and changed the subject. "Do we know how many dethkiri to expect in there?"

"Well, no. Like I said, it's larger than the city we passed through. At least—"

"Wait," Cricket interrupted. "So what happened after you were flirting?"

"I wasn't flirting!"

"But what happened after?"

"I stayed away from her!"

"After leading her on like that?"

"I didn't..." Scorpion stammered.

"Man, that's cold."

Bax nodded in agreement.

Scorpion grimaced and stared daggers at the insect. He hissed through his teeth, "I'm heading over to the steps. When you decide the plan, let me know." He stared one last dagger before spinning about and darting off.

Cricket heaved a great sigh. "Well, maybe we shouldn't bring Spindle. It sounds awkward now."

"We need all we can get," Oydd countered.

Jeshu lowered his brow thinking. "I actually agree with Cricket."

Oydd sneered. "I am not going to risk the mission over something so trivial as love!"

"Oh, snap!" Bax, silent until now, started waving a finger at the rudra. "You... you just think about what you said."

Oydd growled, and started off after the ratling.

"Wait!" Cricket started to follow. "We're not doing a plan first?"

Oydd stomped along as if he couldn't hear the insect, and Cricket turned to Jeshu for support.

The druid only shrugged and began to follow after the rudra, leaving Cricket looking a bit anxious. Cricket only hesitated momentarily, however, then ran to relay instructions to Rahk, pointing at various points along the perimeter.