Complaints: Working At A Store That Sells Gender-Swapping Products

With an automatic motion, Dee reached for his desk drawer and pulled out a thick book. Korri leaned over to look at it. It was black with big, golden handwritten script that read, “The Regulars.” With a drooping head, Dee paged through and came to rest on a particular page.

Then he blinked and asked, “Receipt?”

The man pulled a long, white receipt out of his jeans pocket. Korri took it and passed it to Dee. The customer’s name was given as Olivia Morgan. Korri brought a chair over so the customer could sit, fixed the blanket across his front for privacy, and asked him, “Could you tell us what happened?”

Olivia adjusted his pants and the blanket, trying to find a comfortable position, then began, “I was shopping in the area for some things to give as a gift to my niece. She’s heading off on her own next month. She told me she could really use a vacuum for her apartment. And I know she has some really bad girl troubles. And I knew what kind of things this place sells. I figured an escape from her gender and her body would be such a relief. If only for the time she was cleaning up.” Despite the rough quality of his voice, it had a light and gentle tone.

Dee’s tense expression eased. He paused on the page and looked up. He seemed ready to say something, but he just smiled and nodded. After a moment, he finally asked, “Can you tell me how you got stuck?”

Olivia took a breath and responded, “Well, see…when I bought the vacuum…I was looking around for the right variety and I saw this one in particular. It advertised great suction. It said ‘temporary transformation’ and, on the side of the box, it had several AMA recommendations.”

Dee nodded. He knew just the box. 

Olivia continued, “But it was banged to heck and looked like someone had taken a little chainsaw to it.”

Korri’s eyes widened. “Oh my gosh! I remember you! And I remember that box. I got a new gift box from storage for you.” Dee raised an eyebrow at Korri as he made some notes on a blank page of paper.

Olivia looked at her. “Nice young man with…slender sunglasses on his head, blue eyes, smoothed-back dark hair, and a thin goatee?”

With a sideways grin, Korri nodded and remarked, “Usually. But I’ll be like this for the rest of my shift.”

Olivia folded his bulky hands. Softly, he said, “I see...so long as it’s not permanent. A bust like that must be hard on your back.”

Korri brushed the back of her hair. “A pain and a half…err…but please continue.”

Olivia cleared his throat. “Of course. Later, I went home and I decided to test out the vacuum to make sure it worked right. I read the directions, even the fine print, to make sure there was nothing unexpected. I set it up exactly as described. I tested the first couple of modes. Regular cleaning worked great. It's one of the nicest vacuums I’ve ever used. Then, I tried the gender modes. At first, it didn’t want to turn on. Then, suddenly, the nozzle flew up and grabbed hold of my groin.” He added a shy gesture, which ended with him pointing downward.

After that, he told them, he felt woozy and passed out. When he woke, his entire body had changed into a man’s. Even his clothes had been altered.

Dee made one last note while listening and then flipped through his book. He sighed and focused on two pages in particular. He announced softly, “I know the model number of this vacuum without even looking at the underside. This vacuum has been recalled several times. It should’ve been locked away in the warehouse.”

Dee turned his gaze to Korri, who frowned and avoided eye contact. With a sigh, Dee added, “However, sometimes people push things behind other stuff and it doesn’t get found till someone buys it.”

Korri shook her head and said softly, “It’s all my fault. The product sticker was so damaged we had to go by old system information. If I’d just been more careful maybe…”

Dee coughed and stated firmly, “What’s done is done.” He kept his eyes down as he said, “I have good news and bad news to give you, Olivia.”

Olivia smiled a faint smile. “I’ve been through a lot. Just go ahead and tell me.” He adjusted himself and the blanket. 

Dee just looked up from his book and said, “The good news is I can free you from the vacuum. And you’ll return to being the woman you were in about a week. The bad news is you’ll be sterile and you’ll never have a period ever again. Assuming all goes well.”

With his shoulders relaxing, Olivia remarked, “Is that all now? And if it doesn’t go well?”

With his lips gently-pursed, Dee added, “Defective nanites are chaotic sometimes. But, no matter what, you’ll need to follow up with your regular doctor to make sure the nanites deactivate normally and there aren’t any latent problems which could cause medical issues. If your doctor isn’t familiar with symptoms relating to faulty nanotech, there is a number I can recommend.”

Korri shook her head and shut her eyes. She whimpered, “I’m so sorry…”

Olivia gave a hearty laugh and remarked, “So long as I’m free of this sucker, I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse, believe me. I’ll gladly be done with the red wave of doom. My critters are my kids anyway.” Korri kept a look of concern on Olivia, which didn’t waver despite the ‘red wave’ mention. 

Dee stood up with the black book in his hands. He walked around the counter and crouched in front of Olivia. Korri watched him with a look of surprise. Dee kept his eyes on the vacuum.

Checking the notes, he examined the vacuum and matched up all the numbers to the ones in the book. He traced the procedure over and over. His hands went to the vacuum and above a few buttons. After a moment, he relaxed and warned, “This may not tickle…”

Before Olivia could respond, Dee swiftly input a number of button presses. He tapped them in a sequence that Korri could barely follow. It looked like he was playing the vacuum like a musical instrument. He paused. Then he gave another flourish of presses.

After that, he looked down at the book then back at the vacuum and said, “Okay, plug it in.”

Korri tugged the cord out and held it in a loop around her wrist. She pointed the prongs at the electrical wall socket. Dee gave a nod.

As soon as the plug went in, there was a surge like a dull roar. It almost sounded like the sizzling of nanites dying off. Then, it stopped. There followed a low sigh from the canister.

Just like that, the end of the hose dropped away from Olivia’s groin and clattered on the floor. Olivia scooted away from the machine. Dee gave another nod and Korri unplugged it.

With a laugh and his head dipped back, Olivia said flatly, “Well, that’s sure a relief.” Dee kept his eyes on Olivia’s face. Korri frowned and looked ready to say something when Dee asked the customer, “What is your name?” 

The customer paused in a stretch and responded, “What?” Dee could tell the tone of Olivia’s voice was different.

Calmly, Dee asked, “Tell me your name again.”

The customer looked back with confusion and then carefully stated, “Oliver Morgan.”

Korri’s eyes widened and she took a small but perceptible step back. Dee took a step closer. He held the black book in one hand like a spellbook. He kept his eyes right on the customer. He said, “No. Your name is not Oliver Morgan. You are not a man. You are a woman named Olivia Morgan.”

The customer blinked but there was a moment of recognition in his eyes. He answered carefully, “Olivia Morgan…that’s my mother. She sent me to buy a vacuum for my cousin.”

Dee closed the black book with his hand and reiterated, “No. You are Olivia Morgan. Say the name.”

As soon as the name was spoken a second time, a loud sizzling filled the room. The customer shook his head. When the sizzling ended, he carefully looked up and noted, “That was strange…”

Dee leaned closer and asked again, “What is your name?”

This time, the customer just answered back, “Olivia Morgan…what happened?”

Finally, the tension separated from Dee. He smiled then gave the vacuum canister a kick across the room, away from anyone else. Korri flinched. The end of the cord wiggled like a snake and the hose trailed behind like the broken legs of a defeated beast. It collided into a box and was swallowed up by a carton of packing pieces. Dee smiled and clenched his fists. 

After a quiet moment, Olivia laughed. Korri offered a smile and brushed back her hair.

Dee explained, “I hate these vacuums. I hate them soooo much. You see…the manufacturer is a small company but they used cut-rate nanotech, not from any of the Big Four creators of nanotech hardware and middleware. They then slapped their own software on it, not realizing the nanotech has built-in defaults that will routinely kick in. There are so many variants. You had one that triggered a mental change. Fortunately, I knew the reset command. The user has to say their new and original name twice in a pretty specific fashion. Like… enter old password, enter new password, new password confirm. To borrow a computer analogy.”  

Olivia bowed his head and admitted, “I’m really glad Newid’s has someone like you working for them.”

Dee shrugged. “It’s my job. Now let’s get you all the information you need along with a good refund.”

From behind the counter, Dee put together all the paperwork. Korri settled into her seat. She avoided eye-contact with Olivia. Olivia noticed. He leaned against the counter gently and said, “I don’t blame you for what happened.” 

Korri brought her face up and said, in a perfectly-practiced manner, “Thank you for your business. I’m sorry that your experience with Newid’s Wares wasn’t ideal. We hope that, despite your experience, we may have the honor of your business again sometime. Thank you.” Then, she tried to look interested in a stack of old inter-departmental memos.

Olivia bowed his head and offered them both thanks. With documents and refund in hand, he took just one look back at Korri and left. 

Dee cracked his knuckles behind his head. “You’re not to blame. We all know store policy. They attached it to a giant stick.”

Korri cupped her ears and pressed her fingers against the back of her head. “I know…” She could see the words. She knew she wasn’t liable. And she knew that wasn’t the point.

Dee leaned back and held his black book up. “You know how I got this compilation of answers to regular problems? Trial and error.”

Korri blinked slowly. She let her arms fall away from her ears. Dee continued, ”I have had so many failures. I did my best but I couldn’t prevent some. But I learn…so I don’t suck so much the next time.” He plopped the book back down on the desk and sighed.

Straightening, Korri asked, “Why stay here…in this job and at this store?”

With a shrug, Dee answered, “A lot of reasons. I feel good when I take care of a problem just right. I have full dental coverage. And there are people here who I consider my friends. And other reasons.” He gave Korri a look.

She asked, “Other reasons?”

Dee gave another shrug. “That’s personal. I’d rather not talk about it.” 

Korri nodded and moved aside a stack of memos, conceding, “Gotcha…”

After scratching at his forehead, Dee asked, “So, same question, why do you stay in this job?”

Korri clutched an arm around her stomach under her breasts. She sighed. “About the same. There’s not a lot of places hiring part-time and a lot of places are closing. I figure I should take work where I can find it. And, in the mornings, I take classes towards an Associate of Fine Arts degree in Theater.”

This earned a raised eyebrow from Dee and a “hmm”. Korri smiled and noted, “I want to be an actor someday.” Dee hid his mouth with his hand and nodded. Korri gave him a narrowed look and said, “Are you thinking about how I hammed it up earlier?”

Casting one last dirty glance at the carcass of the vacuum, half-buried by packing peanuts and boxes, Dee said, “Now I am. But I was wondering if you wanted to split the candy bar in my drawer.” Dee slid open the drawer and presented a candy bar in a moss-green wrapper. It had funny writing that Korri couldn’t make out. She kept a suspicious eye on it as she remarked, “It doesn’t really look like anything I’ve eaten.”

Dee set the bar down and said, “You don’t have to have it. It’s just a brand my aunt buys for herself. A lot. It’s New-Age-y stuff.”

“How does it taste?” Korri carefully leaned closer. 

“Not bad.”

Korri nodded.

With a quick motion, Dee snapped the bar in half while it was still inside its wrapper. He unfurled it and held a chocolate piece out for Korri. She accepted it and set it on the table in front of her. Dee leaned back and took a deep bite of his piece.

Korri’s stomach gurgled like it was issuing a primal command. With a sigh, she took a bite.

She found the texture to be gritty but not unpleasant. It had more spices than she was used to in a candy. But all that paled next to the flavor of the chocolate in her mouth. She couldn’t tell if it was her different taste buds or just a good chocolate bar. 

It was gone after a few bites but enough to still the gurgles inside her. As the taste faded, she found herself missing it. But instead of dwelling on the candy, she tidied up the area in front of her, poked the vacuum’s corpse over to the returns bin, and then wasted her time leaning back and tracing the lines in the ceiling tiles with her eyes. 

As the minutes passed, she blinked longer and slower. She coughed and asked Dee, “You mind if I rest my eyes for a minute?”

She could hear Dee writing something with a pen. He answered only, “Go ahead. But I reserve the right to randomly poke you.”

Korri chuckled and let her eyes relax. She used to be really good at making sleep look like she was sitting and analyzing thoughtfully. 

An unknown amount of time passed in her head. She suddenly found herself, in another place, sitting on a bench in a long room. There were lockers as far as she could see in either direction. For some reason, she figured it was a changing room down by the beach. She noticed the ceiling seemed high and she especially noticed that she was a man again.

Jeff could see his narrow, flat chest. He felt a rush of relief but couldn’t figure out what he was doing at the beach.

He walked over to a conveniently-placed full-length mirror. His relief soon turned to shock as he realized he was wearing a neon-pink two-piece triangle bikini with floral patterns. His hands darted about his body in embarrassment.

He could feel phantom sensations at his chest. He could feel a mass and weight that he couldn’t see. He checked under the fabric of the bikini top but his chest seemed normal.

However, when he looked in the mirror something seemed wrong. His legs were shaded by hair, as were his arms. He looked about the same, average height. His facial hair was there. It took him a moment to realize that his hair had become a bright shade of blond. 

As he watched, his hair spread down his neck like curling, yellow vines. They kept spreading until they reached his lower back. He tried to tell himself this was wrong. He wanted to feel horrified but, instead, he felt excited. 

He kept glancing at the bikini bottom, which poorly obscured his male outline. While looking, he noticed that all the shadowy hairs on his legs had cleared to smooth, bare skin. The same was true for everywhere else about his body. 

Suddenly, someone clutched at his shoulders and whirled him around. It was Dee. He stood there in small, blue trunks. Jeff’s gaze kept drifting down to Dee’s trunks, despite the fact he didn’t want to look there. Even when he was able to divert his gaze, his eyes found another part of Dee’s body. His mind’s eye flashed with an image of Dee’s firm behind. 

As the thoughts filled him, he could sense his own body as though Dee was a human mirror before him. He could feel himself getting smaller next to Dee as Dee loomed ever greater. He could feel his very bones retreating in Dee’s presence. He could feel them shifting. He could almost see his face’s feminized features.

He knew his vocal tone had altered. He could feel the manly energy being sucked from him and he knew where it was going. Dee’s muscles strained under his skin. His features toughened and his hands swelled. 

At the same time, Jeff could feel his body softening all over. With it, his entire mood softened too. He was calm, safe, and serene. He knew his chest showed, full and soft. He knew his bikini bottom fit over the curve of his shape. He knew a warmth inside which yearned for the man…she saw before her.

She released herself into his strong arms. She was Korri, a woman, and she loved it with every fiber of her being and, even more than that, she loved Dee. 

In the span of a breath, Korri felt an overwhelming exposure in Dee’s embrace. 

It was a moment that was just too much. Alarms sounded and Korri’s head shot up and launched her out of her seat with a “GAH!” and her arms flailing to the floor. A slow pant of relief burst into another “GAH!” as she looked down at herself. She then quietly muttered, “Oh…right…” 

Dee looked down at her with a curious gaze. Korri pushed herself into a sitting position. Dee asked simply, “Dream?”

Korri nodded. “Nightmare…”

“Ah. You were kinda moaning.”

“Well, it was…really scary.”

“It wasn’t fearful moaning…”

Korri could feel her cheeks getting warm. Unconvincingly, she offered, “I like scary movies…I guess.”

Dee smirked and nodded. “Must’ve been a doozy.”

Korri nodded too. “Sure was…” Then, she quietly added, “…Romance novel pulp that just scarred me for life…”

“Hmm?” Dee turned to ask.

“Nothing!” Korri swiftly answered.

As she positioned herself to get up, she heard Dee standing. She turned. Dee stood above her with his hand outstretched. The fluorescent lights even gave a bit of a halo to his features. Korri narrowed her eyes and hesitated, but she took his hand and stood. She quickly let go as soon as she was standing.

She mumbled, “Thanks.”

Dee answered, “Think nothing of it.”
  
Before they could get back to their seats or Korri could think something of it, a torrent of footsteps echoed from around the corner. 

Three people made their way through the extended opening into the main area of the room. The one at the lead of the pack brandished a box which displayed a tall, white blender. He wore a black suit and a gray tie. He led with his wrinkled, bald head like a charging bull. A spider-webbing of black hair traced around the edge of his head. His nose protruded like a saber as he smacked the blender down on the counter and said roughly, “I am very angry with this establishment and its products. I may very well take legal action. And that’s no bluff.” He twitched a finger out at Dee, who didn’t waver.

The man at the back cradled a small cellphone in his hands. He moved the chair Olivia had used back to the wall and sat there. He wore slacks and a checker-pattern shirt. Carefully, he set the phone in the chair next to him and massaged his thick, gray mustache. 

The man just behind the customer with the blender sidled over to Korri. He was dressed in an outfit that color-matched her uniform. His blue top was a mostly-buttoned Hawaiian shirt and his khaki pants were cut-offs. His face looked perfectly-smooth and so did his arms and legs. He had a small air purifier unit with the cord tucked under one arm. 

Then, he opened his mouth and said, “Hola, babelini. Okay, check it. I am here to return this...what was…a most excellent product for my respiratory and...biological-like systems. But I’m so torn because it worked just like it said…but…you know?” He gestured to his face.

Korri wore a dazed expression as she tried to put together the surfer guy visage with the melodic, airy girl’s voice that came from his lips. At that moment, she could only answer, “Um…yeah.”