Come On Come On Darlin'

***

Until we have seen someone's darkness we don't really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is. 

Marianne Williamson

***

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw has a lot of love to give. He grew up in a house built from it. His parents loved freely, with absolute abandon, each other, their families, Mav and Ice, and their friends. Bradley.

He has it all stored up inside him to give away because love kept means nothing. Its only value is when it's given away. His mother taught him that, even when the sickness was at its worst, she was the strongest person he knew. She never faltered, even when she was too weak to stand on her own.

Even at his lowest points with Mav and Ice, he loved them. Even during his worst spirals, when he hates his father for leaving before he ever really got to know him, he still loves him fiercely. Even when he's up in the air and terrified, he loves flying with everything he has.

Bradley Bradshaw was made to love, and someday, he's going to find someone who can take all the love he has to give. His high school girlfriend was overwhelmed by him. His college boyfriend said he was smothering him. The few times he dabbled in flight school ended before they could really start because everyone was so focused on their studies that Bradley knew they'd never be able to handle him.

He tries to pull himself back, tries to put it all in a box, and locks it up so he doesn't scare people away, but it leaks out no matter what he does. He's got so many shattered boxes that he doesn't know what to do with them all anymore.

The Naval Academy (when he finally gets there) is some kind of relief. He loves flying almost as much as he loves some people and it makes it easier to hold back, to maintain control and not smoother, not annoy, not be too much.

His cohort is great, amazing, like the siblings he never had. He loves them all dearly.

With one exception.

Seresin.

Blond-haired, blue-eyed, walking wet dream who succeeds in making Bradley so angry he actually forgets he's mad at Mav for a bit. The prick from Texas who points out every mistake, every misstep they all take, and how he didn't make them.

Bradley has never met someone so made to fly. It'd still be infuriating if he was a nice guy, but he's an asshole, so it makes it easier to be enraged.

Bradley can hate him without feeling bad about it.

Well, hate's a strong word, Bradley admits, and probably only true forty percent of the time.

Most of the time he just dislikes Seresin and has no interest in being around him. Unfortunately, they somehow share the same friend group, but there are a few moments where Seresin is actually somewhat of a good guy, so Bradley's anger ebbs and flows enough to let them get through the academy without too much trouble.

The only time it really comes into question is when Seresin tries to add Bradley to the notches on his bedpost. He's heard the rumors, they all have, that Seresin is a love 'em and lose 'em cowboy, through and through. Never serious, rarely more than once. Bradley wants what his parents had, and every time Seresin makes a pass, he gets a little bit angrier and a little bit sadder.

Apparently, Bradley isn't worth something real. Just some asshole's Friday night hookup.

Thankfully, it tapers off after a week; Seresin's attention span for any subject outside of flying isn't long. He does clock some off looks from Javy in the weeks that follow and even though he means to ask him about them, he never gets around to it.

Machado seems to be the only one who can stand Seresin for extended periods of time, which, more power to him, he's a better man than Bradley.

There are a few moments when he wonders what it is Javy sees in the blond, but he always seems to get distracted.

The week before graduation, he actually plans to. There are only so many duty stations and so many pilots, so the chances that Bradley and Jake, who are number two and one in the rankings, respectively, are going to end up in the same place is actually rather high.

But then someone dies, and Javy and Jake disappear for a couple of days, and when they get back, they're glued at the hip, and Bradley's not enough of an asshole to ask Javy why he's friends with Jake in front of Jake.

The blond looks like he went through the wringer anyway, and Bradley tries very hard not to be cruel.

They get into a full-out brawl a few days before graduation anyway, so avoidance turns out to be the better path to valor.

Seresin and Machado disappear minutes after the graduation ceremony, and no one in their cohort sees them for several months until they're all really beginning their careers as naval aviators and shifting around bases. Bygones are bygones at that point, and Bradley's back to being mad at Mav and trying to live up to his father and his godfather and Ice.

Trying to figure out why he's so scared when he knows the aircraft is safe and can handle it.

He runs into Seresin on and off through the years. They never reach the level of animosity they did at the academy, maybe they're both growing up, maturing.

Bradley tries at a few more relationships, but they all end for the same reasons. He's too much, pays too much attention, God, can you let me breathe for a minute?

So, he focuses on flying and ignoring Mav and Ice when they reach out because he's still fucking furious about that.

Getting called back to Top Gun is almost too much. He considers requesting to be dropped from the assignment before he ever learns what it is, but in the end, his pride won't let him.

He's pretty sure he gets that from Maverick.

They're all there. Best of the best, and he's so happy to see so many friendly faces. He's even kind of happy to see Seresin.

You look…good.

I am good. Too good to be true.

For all that he's an asshole, Seresin is a fantastic pilot, although Bradley would literally die before ever admitting that where the other man could hear it.

He's followed his career via the rumor mill, heard about his confirmed kill, how he's the only one of their generation who's got one, and been irrationally jealous over that for a while (he makes the mistake once of mentioning that where Javy can hear, and the others agree, annoyed that Seresin's the one that got it and god, he'll never forget the ass-chewing Javy gave them).

You've never taken a life, so what the fuck would you know, Bradshaw?

And Bradley agrees with him. He might hate Hangman, but Coyote's right. He's never taken a life. Hangman might be all bravado and easy confidence, but he has no idea how the other pilot actually feels about that. What it had cost him to pull the trigger (it's the one thing Mav and Ice never talked about where he can hear).

Doesn't know if he'd ever be capable of doing the same at the moment when it counted.

As always, Javy is at Seresin's side, settling into place like it's a seat that's always been his and only his. He's a balm between Jake and the others, smoothing Seresin's edges and demonstrating one of the few admirable things about him. His loyalty.

Jake gets just as pissed off when someone insults Javy's flying as he does when someone insults his own.

Then Mav is there, and all Bradley's anger and hurt (it's all hurt, really, though it takes Bradley a long time to realize it) bubbles up out of the chained boxes he tried to shove it into this time.

Mav doesn't help. So blatantly desperate to build a bridge but unwilling to give Bradley the one thing he needs…it just makes him angrier.

Then there's a girl, a pretty, no beautiful, thing who laughs and kisses Javy and sings with Jake, and Bradley loses twenty bucks betting on whom she's actually dating.

They never actually get a straight answer out of either man, and she just laughs when they ask.

It's a nice distraction for a minute.

Then it gets so bad between Mav and Bradley that Ice shows up to diffuse them. And it's so painfully obvious that Seresin worships them both.

Mav doesn't seem to notice. He's not great with things like that. But Ice does and actually seems to like Hangman, which, seriously?

But then Ice loves Mav, so it's probably easier for him to like someone who's so clearly following in Mav's footsteps.

A pinprick of jealousy wells in Bradley. Ice helped Mav pull his packet, but he seems to like Seresin, who leaves Bradley hanging every time they fly together and does everything Ice always advises Bradley not to.

What makes Seresin so much better than Bradley?

He finds out the night before the mission after Mav said Rooster and not Hangman.

You have to fucking fly. You can't be scared; you can't stop and think and hesitate. You'll die. You'll kill Mav, you'll kill Tasha and Bob, and everyone else flying with you.

Get out of my face, Seresin, you're just pissed he didn't pick you.

Shut the fuck up and listen asshole. I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you. I know your weaknesses; I know how strong you are. I know how scared you are. You're letting fear rule everything! You'll die if you don't get over it. Do you understand? You won't come home because any hesitation is too much. You have the instincts; I know you do; they're always there, right under the surface, like all that rage you say you don't have. You have to let it out. You have to come back.

Javy drags him out long before Bradley can think of a response.

Bradley doesn't have a lot of regrets. He's learned they're not worth much in the end, so he tries his best not to let them exist. That's why he kept trying at relationships when he knew he wasn't any good, why he kept flying after his dad.

But he's fully willing to admit, as he floats toward the snow-covered ground, that not asking Jake Seresin what the hell he meant when he said I've loved you since the day I saw you, is his biggest and the one he's going to take to the grave.

They try so hard. With everything they have and then some. Fight past all reason and chance and exhaustion.

They almost make it, too.

In that crappy old model that shouldn't even still be flying.

They almost make it.

The first shot goes wide, thanks to Mav's reflexes, but that's all the old girls got. They can both feel it in the controls, in the breakers in the back that start popping. In their voices when they start desperately apologizing to one another.

And somewhere in the midst of the terror and the mind-numbing sadness, they fought so hard, came so close, something settles, something clicks into place inside him.

Someone did love Bradley the way he loved (the way he's always wanted to be loved even though he was always afraid to say it out loud). And he didn't even need Bradley to love him back to do it.

Hello, this is your savior speaking.

Bradley and Mav have an unspoken pact to never, ever mention the sob Bradley lets out and the scream Mav lets out when they hear his voice over the radio.

Then he's so busy with Mav and Ice that he forgets about Hangman.

Jake.

But not completely.

The other pilot sits at the back of his mind like he's waiting in Bradley's peripheral vision, sitting just out of sight until it's his turn but never completely out of mind.

And surprisingly patient, considering Bradley has seen Jake throw a temper tantrum when told he has to wait for his turn to fly (it was only two hours, but Javy had to take Jake outside to cool down).

Bradley came from a house built on love. From a family that saw no shame in the act of loving. He knows Mav and Ice didn't have it easy when they finally chose to come out, and while the world is better now, it's still not perfect.

He grew up with stories about how his dad wooed his mom and how Mav got Ice. Fearless in declaring their love and utterly shameless with it. His mother was more respectful when she talked about it, but Ice has always known when to be blunt (how terrifying it was to see someone so honest about their feelings, how scared he was that Mav would let something slip that would hurt them both, that he couldn't stay away no matter how scared he was because it was worth it to have someone look at him like that, it made him feel like a king when Pete woke up and the first thing he saw was Tom and he smiled because he couldn't believe his luck).

It was worth all the pain and the work they had to put in. Still have to because even the most loving relationships take work.

He wonders if this is what Ice was trying to prepare him for all along.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin.

He watches him now. Tries to see past Hangman to Jake, to see what Javy saw before all of them.

Javy and Jake are ride or die, he realizes. Because somehow, years ago, Javy saw what the rest of them missed and took a chance no one else would. And Javy was the first person Jake picked for his family. First choice, and Bradley finds it doesn't bother him not to be first because he doesn't know if he could have done what Javy did. He was such a mess himself then that he would have dragged Jake into a collision that would have left them both shattered into too many pieces to ever put back together.

Now, their edges are dulled just enough to fit together without cutting one another, and they can heal and grow.

He doesn't even realize it when he makes the decision. It's all tangled up with the little things he starts to notice about Jake. How much effort he puts into how he looks, how he carries himself, invulnerable and untouchable and you can't hurt me no matter what you do.

How he looks to Javy when he's not sure what to do. How Payback and Fanboy have started tucking themselves on either side of him when he's tired and just wants to hang out at the pool table instead of dealing with anyone.

How enthusiastic he gets when Bob wants to talk theory and aeronautics because not many people can keep up with him on those subjects.

And holy shit, he can't believe he missed that. Jake's way of teaching was to point out those mistakes and missteps. That it was an honest, if misguided and painful way, to try and make them all better. To push them so he wouldn't leave them behind.

Or be left behind.

Jesus Christ.

Jake tried so hard to keep them around that he ended up doing the opposite because none of them realized what was happening. Too subtle. Too afraid.

Too desperate.

Too lonely.

Bradley cries himself to sleep the night he realizes that. And then a few nights after. He even scares Mav because he can't quite get the words out at first, and he can't stop crying. He might have missed his chance because Jake loved him for so long, and he didn't realize.

Didn't realize that not everyone loves the same. That it looks different to everyone. That he didn't stop to think about what else all that poking and jabbing and laughing could have been.

Why Jake has always had his attention, even when he hated him.

Poor Mav is not the one to help when someone is crying though Bradley apricates the effort. His godfather's advice doesn't move past how to get Jake into bed, and please, please stop crying. Do you want me to go get him? I'll hogtie him and bring him here if that's what you want. Please stop crying. Oh god, where is Ice?

He keeps watching. He doesn't want to make a mistake, ruin this further before they even find out if it could be real.

Also, Javy scares the shit out of him because Rooster has no doubt that Coyote is going to rip out his throat if he fucks this up.

Turns out, Coyote isn't even going to let him try.

Miss your chance, Rooster.

Stay away.

He's not for you anymore.

Should have paid more attention.

Not even Natasha can change Javy's mind. She's the enemy; they all are, and they can't figure out why.

Payback and Fanboy won't even acknowledge the question.

Bob says it's not his place but whispers, please don't give up.

Javy's sisters come with claws already out and bloody.

Bradley gets scared. Did he really miss his chance? Did Jake love him that much, and Bradley's ignorance did that much damage?

Something he doesn't see changes Javy's mind. Not completely. But enough that he steps aside and just watches.

Confronted with exactly what he wanted, Bradley finds himself with no idea where to start. He can't just walk up to Jake and ask him out. Jake's spent a lifetime defending himself, and so has Bradley. It won't end well.

Natasha does take it personally when she finds out that Javy literally labeled her enemy for a long time, but whatever conversation they have about it, neither of them tells Bradley and she's too angry about being the enemy to be any help. Halo and the others don't know Jake well enough, and those that do have followed Javy's example and planted themselves firmly on the sidelines.

Mav thinks he should serenade him and suggests a few classics that make Ice smirk and shake his head.

It's too ridiculous.

It's human nature to be irrational in love. Look at all the murders out there.

Godfather Mav for the win, Bradley can't help but laugh. Ice doesn't even bother to hide his eye roll. Mav is never giving their kids romantic advice, Bradley decides.

Something to unpack later.

He decides to try friendship first because his mom and dad were friends before they became more, and his mother always said that was the best part. (Mav and Ice went straight from rivals to madly in love, but his mother insists that's just because they met at Top Gun. If they met earlier, they would have been friends first. She was the only one who believed that, but none of them argued with her).

He stops taking Jake's barbs seriously, starts throwing them back, starts paying attention to the hidden compliments, and doesn't bother to be subtle about the ones he fires back.

Jake matches him blow for blow. He even catches Javy shaking his head at them a few times and Natasha pretending to throw up.

He works his way through every classic rock song he knows, and the night he plays "Faithfully," he almost comes in his pants like a teenager at the look Jake gives him.

He's just about to make his move when Celia shows up, and then there's an engagement to celebrate.

Then there's that fight in the showers, and for a brief moment, he thinks he's going to have to fight Javy for Jake (he's never been so awkwardly turned on in his life, and there's no way he's the only one).

Mav, of course, is traumatized. The baby.

They take Javy and Celia out to lunch to celebrate, and naturally, their conversation turns to wedding gifts.

Celia slams her hands on the table and leans towards Jake, who can't stop smiling since he started this whole damn thing (Rooster's going to spend the rest of his life helping Jake win all these fights he picks).

You know exactly what I want, Jake Seresin.

And really, Jake's grin tells them all exactly how dangerous whatever that is.

That, and Javy's head hitting the table in resignation, and Fanboy getting up, announcing he has to go to the gym.

Turns out, Rooster isn't the only performer in the group.

Javy, Jake, Fanboy, and Payback have a dance routine.

Set to I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt.

Bradley loses the ability to speak for a while.

He about swallows his tongue when they rip off their pants.

And how unfortunate that Bradley is going to have to kill his best friend. Kill her dead because Natasha just stuck a twenty in the band of Jake's boxers.

Mav is in the corner with Ice, looking like he wished he was already dead (he thinks he catches him muttering something about students and shouldn't have to see this), and Penny's laughing and Ice is grinning, and Amelia's right up there with Celia and her friends and a fistful of dollar bills.

Oh god, the gyrating.

Skin glistening under strobe lights.

Rooster is not okay.

And judging from the wicked grin on Hangman's face, he knows it.

Ice pulls him aside in the darkness of the club.

Think carefully, Ice says, think long and hard because your choice here is so much heavier than any you've made before. That boy is hurt. He's a walking, gaping chest wound, and if you're only going to be a temporary bandage, you're not going to make the wound smaller. You're going to make it larger.

Bradley listens and hears. There's something he doesn't know yet, but he has time to figure it out. To learn every inch of Jake Seresin. Every dark nook and cranny, every secret dream, and every secret fear.

Maybe it's the naivety of true love that he isn't afraid of what those secrets could be (no matter how hard it gets, he never regrets that).

He goes home to change, but before he can drive to Jake's house, Jake knocks on his door.

Beautiful, brave boy throwing himself into the fire without fear even after a lifetime of getting burned.

Bradley kisses him on the front porch, and he can feel Jake smile while he does it.

They stand there kissing for longer than either of them thought they'd last when they dreamed about it before. It's intoxicating in a way they never imagined. The warmth, the pressure, how they can feel one another's heartbeat.

Learning one another for the first time.

The first taste that's exciting, enticing, unknown, and known at the same time.

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw is going to spend the rest of his life learning how to kiss Jake "Hangman" Seresin.

Learning how to make him whine and whimper and shudder and shake.

How to make him laugh and smile, what makes him cry and what makes him angry and sad.

Someday, he's going to be the Encyclopedia Britannica on Jake Seresin, Callsign: Hangman.

The first time he slides inside Jake, he thinks he blacks out. It's so fucking good. Bradley's never felt like this before in his life, has to count back from a hundred to stay in control, and Jake doesn't fucking help that God damn mother fucker who looks up at him from under his lashes and pulls at his hair and goads him on until they both lose their minds (and break a lamp).

There are scars, marks Bradley doesn't have the courage to ask about yet, but he will. He memorizes where each of them are, searches out those so small he misses them at first glance.

It's the tattoo that breaks him. He stares at it long after Jake falls asleep, kisses it, traces it with his fingers and his tongue.

Wants to rip it off Jake's skin with his bare hands.

He will spend all the days he has left proving it wrong. Learning what made Jake walk into a tattoo parlor and convince the artist to ink it into his skin.

It's on after that night.

And Christ, he can't get enough. He feels like an addict constantly jonesing for his next hit. When he's not touching Jake, he's thinking about touching him. When he can't see him, he's daydreaming about him. He zones out in briefings whenever Jake plays with that fucking toothpick, and he's lost track of how many supply closets they've shoved each other into in the last week.

Jake dropped to his knees in the locker room, stereotypical and a classic all at once (and boy did Mav have stories that made Bradley regret sharing that).

Bradley pulled him off while he was sitting in the cockpit of his fighter (within seconds of being caught by Hondo).

They made out in the watch room after most of the base had left for the day, Bradley sprawled in a chair and Jake in his lap and they both came in their pants like teenagers.

They've regressed, Bradley thinks hysterically; all that growing up and learning is gone, and they're nothing but bags of hormones and no self-control shaped like adults.

Natasha walks in on them in the planning room and threatens to brain them both with a garbage can.

Javy doesn't even blink when he catches them in the bathroom of the Hard Deck, just reminds them to wash their hands (he also takes a picture for Celia).

They traumatize poor Bob (he's not a virgin, no matter what they say) in the closet at his own house the night he throws a dinner party (they apologized).

And poor Mav. The guy starts walking into rooms with his eyes closed after the third time he catches them with half their clothes on.

Bradley's never had so much fun in his life. Never been this in love in his life.

Everything he's been saving up, everything that was too much for everyone else, is enough for Jake. He likes being Rooster's sole focus, likes the constant need to be close, likes that Bradley wants to know anything and everything.

He's not ready to tell him everything, but Bradley is patient and just moves on to another question when Jake quietly says, "Pass."

Most of the scars are a pass for now.

Bradley starts to build their house. Not literally, but figuratively (not that he isn't starting to see the house itself). They're gathering the foundation pieces and putting them in place. It's a big house with deep roots, lots of windows, and little cubby holes they can squeeze into together.

All of the splintered pieces of Bradley's boxes go into the foundation, making it even stronger. Giving it history and power because even when they hated each other, it was them together, and Jake might have gotten it right first, but Bradley's going to get it right best (Jake disagrees, but it's a competition they'll both enjoy too much to stop).

But Bradley's house comes crashing down one afternoon at Mav's.

It's a barbecue, a welcome back for Javy and Celia, and the first official introduction of Mav And Ice to Jake And Bradley, and the others show up to watch the fun (Mav wants to be the scary dad, but he's just not that intimidating and Ice likes Jake too much to even try).

Bradley sees him after Amelia runs in to tell Jake. Tall, blond, weathered by the sun. There's no doubt who he is, and Bradley's on his way to introduce himself when Jake comes running out of the hangar and gets there first.

Bradley's waiting for the hug, the happy reunion.

It doesn't come.

Javy comes running, but he's not fast enough and Bradley's heart stops as Jake hits the ground. His brain can't compute at first that Jake's dad just hit him hard enough to put him on the ground.

He's not moving.

Javy's on the old man before he can do it again, and then all Bradley sees is blood.

Jake's blood.

He's not moving.

Someone's screaming. It might be Bradley. He doesn't know, he just knows he has to stop the bleeding. Mav and Bob are trying to help, their fingers tacky and slippery at the same time.

He hears Ice call the life flight.

Sees the others struggling to pull Javy off the still form of Jake's father.

Then there's dust in his eyes as the helicopters take off, and they're all left in a deafening silence they don't understand.

Ice gets it first because he's the only true adult among them. Penny's right behind him. Mav fades away in shock, disappearing into the hangar as Penny gathers the others and leaves Javy and Bradley to Ice.

Ice, who checks on them before the love of his life because he should have been a father, should have had that chance but didn't and never regretted it.

Bradley's hands won't stop shaking. Jake's blood is under his fingernails (it's under Mav's, too, and though none of them see it, Ice has to stop him from scrubbing his hands raw to get it off).

Because Mav missed it at first with Ice and then Tom Kazansky Sr was too dead to do anything about it. He still can't be in a room with Ice's mother without the all-consuming urge to ask her why she didn't protect her son.

They don't see her very often.

And Bradley is mature enough to realize that when Mav says he was too late to help Iceman, he means he was too late to kill the bastard before he did it (which is absolutely irrational because Kazansky Sr died before Ice and Mav even got together), but Bradley feels the same in the darkest hours of the night when his thoughts spiral)) because Mav is mature, but he's not that mature. Mav helped Iceman and still helps him every day, and it may feel like not enough to Mav, but according to Ice, it's exactly what he needs, so that's what Bradley focuses on (although if Javy ever decides to take that step, Bradley's going to be right there with him).

Tasha too, he thinks. She may be the most grown-up out of all of them, but later, she confides how guilty she feels even though there's no way any of it's her fault.

I don't feel guilty because I was complicit, Bradshaw. I feel guilty because I judged without knowing, without doing the work. I made assumptions that hurt someone when it could have been very easy not to. I didn't take away from the pain. I added to it.

It's not the same, Trace.

It is, and it isn't.

He feels guilty, too. It makes no sense, he knows. Mav says so. Javy says so. Jake says so. Ice says so, and he's the one Bradley actually listens to about emotional stuff. But he still feels it. Which Ice also assures him is normal.

The hospital is horrible, white, and stale, and so unlike Jake that it makes Bradley want to crawl out of his skin.

He wants to grab Jake and not let go, but Bradley Bradshaw was made to love.

More specifically, he was made to love Jake Seresin, so he steps back and lets Jake cry in Javy's arms, both of them sobbing and clutching one another.

One day (one day soon), it will be Bradley's turn, but Bradley has to learn why first.

He doesn't go far. Camps out next to the bed in Mav's spare room and only leaves when they need a moment to themselves.

Slowly, he puts it together. Piece by piece. And then all that love he has saved up that bears a single name now turns to rage, and Bradley Bradshaw has never, ever felt so angry.

He thinks this must be how Javy felt when he first found out, and no wonder he was so desperate to protect Jake.

Fruit of the poisoned tree, Jake jokes, and it's hard to explain how many people reacted so badly to the joke all at once (Mav has to leave the room because he starts to cry).

Bradley is going to rip the monstrous tree up by its roots and burn it to ash.

But first, he has to figure out how to get Jake back on his feet.

He wastes approximately one day on it before realizing that Jake doesn't need his help with that. Jake has climbed to his feet by himself for years, has made it a point of pride, a demonstration of his strength, no one took that from him.

So Bradley meets him eye to eye when he's standing and doesn't allow himself to be afraid when he touches him. Jake will tell him if it hurts. Jake will tell him if it's wrong.

They go to therapy together anyway because Jake has other things to work through, and Bradley now has his own feelings to process. He likes their therapist. She doesn't assume Jake is broken, admires his strength, encourages it, and never lets his blustering distract her.

Bradley manages to be patient for two weeks.

Two painful weeks.

Two impossibly hard weeks where he spends most of his time in a cold shower that doesn't actually help.

Then he realizes that Jake figured out what he was doing and, being the little shit that he is, was making it worse on purpose, so Bradley throws him onto the bed and gives him so much pleasure that Jake forgets the pain, at least for a little while.

The heat of his skin, the taste of his sweat, the way his eyes darken and his fists clench in the sheets, in Bradley's hair, the way his mouth falls open. Bradley's going to memorize it. Write ballads and paint masterpieces on Jake's skin.

Jake loves him back with the force of a hurricane because he never learned to love softly because no one ever loved him that way when it mattered.

And they blossom. All that pain paints them vivid colors like the wildflowers in the mountains but makes them hardy enough to survive year after year.

He learns that Jake can only cook to survive, that he doesn't place value in money except that he thinks that's how you buy love (and isn't that a fun lesson. His heart still hasn't recovered from his first look at the plane), that he wears his scars with pride because nothing is more important than being strong enough to survive.

He loves blueberries and waffles and takes his coffee black.

Because cream and sugar are for psychopaths, Bradley. Be a man.

I'll show you a man, Seresin.

And then he wiped the grin off Jake's face by bending him over the kitchen island.

He loves to travel and loves deploying but it's only worth it when there's someone to come back to.

Mav and Ice have been his heroes since he was a kid, and he was heartbroken when they didn't see him at first (Bradley spends hours convincing him that they did; they were all just too tangled up in themselves to realize it).

They see him now, and they love him like a son.

He learns Jake really does share anything and everything with people he trusts (Natasha is not happy about this, she doesn't want to know Bradley has a birthmark on his ass, and poor Bob spends the first few weeks in a constant state of embarrassed awe).

Javy doesn't really want to know everything either, but Jake just can't comprehend not sharing it with him. So, Javy accepts it, decides to embrace it, and uses it to mercilessly tease Bradley every chance he gets because Javy was the only family member Jake had for a long time, and he will be all of them at once forever.

He learns he's going to have a son from Celia. So, he can marry her and Javy's daughter, and honestly, the thought of that is pretty thrilling.

Celia and Javy's sisters can't carry him because that's a little too weird.

Amelia ends up being the one who carries the blue-eyed blond-haired boy after she's graduated college, and they've all grown and settled more firmly into their bones.

And Bradley's built that house for Jake.

His name is Nick (And no one cries harder at his birth than Ice).

~fin~