Come Back

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As usual after sweating profusely and suffering, Choi Hong-seo woke up feeling refreshed. He felt clear and refreshed. The room was as quiet as a tomb, and there was no sign of Lee Hae-seong in sight. Choi Hong-seo suddenly felt anxious and sat up.

Tiffany, who had been lying face down near the side, raised her head and looked up.

“Tiffany, did you sleep here?”

Nyaa.

“You stayed with me all night?”

I rubbed her small face here and there as if I was massaging it thoroughly. The generous boy today grumbled as if he was in a good mood and then obediently climbed onto my lap.

As I hugged Tiffany and stroked her glossy fur and warm body, I tried to recall last night. It must have been last night, right? It couldn’t have been that much time later, right?

It seemed that I had lost consciousness after Mr. Cho left the restaurant. I couldn’t remember anything after that. All that remained was a vague feeling of some strong and warm force lifting me up. Even that, I couldn’t be sure if it was a dream or not.

Choi Hong-seo rolled up his pajama sleeves. Lee Hae-seong’s pajamas were loose enough that they could easily be pushed up to his elbows. This time, he lifted the hem of his shirt and looked down at his chest and stomach. As expected, the spots had increased. It was like that every time after ‘that symptom’. The spots that started out as a few on the back of his neck had now increased in number to an unsightly degree.

It was disgusting, but Lee Hae-seong didn’t care.

He applied the ointment without even frowning, the number of times they had sex did not decrease, and the way he caressed her by kissing, sucking, and biting her whole body was still the same. However, from Choi Hong-seo’s perspective, he honestly did not want to show him his naked body.

He looked down at the spots that had spread from under his pajama sleeves to the back of his hand. Because he had applied the ointment carefully, the spots were shiny even in the dim light of the curtains. Choi Hong-seo sat in silence and carefully stroked the back of his hand.

“Tiffany, do you know where Daddy went? Let’s go find him.”

As I looked at the ointment spot, my eyebrows twitched. I knew he couldn’t have gone far, but I wanted to see him. When Choi Hong-seo got up, Tiffany also jumped out of bed. Did she really understand that he was going to find Lee Hae-seong, or did she think that Choi Hong-seo, who got up from bed, knew who he was looking for? The guy took the lead without hesitation.

The middle door in the hallway that led directly from the bedroom to the study was open about an inch. It was like a sign that Lee Hae-seong had left behind, saying, “I’m here, so don’t be surprised if I wake up.” Choi Hong-seo followed Tiffany, who had disappeared through the crack in the door.

In the study connected to the end of the hallway, Lee Hae-seong was talking to Director Kang. Although he could not hear the exact content of the conversation, he could feel the heavy, serious, and urgent atmosphere that was weighing down on the study. No matter how anxious he was inside, Lee Hae-seong was the type of person who would not reveal it to Choi Hong-seo unless absolutely necessary. However, in the voice he was talking to Director Kang, there was a sharpness, an anger that could not be completely hidden even if he suppressed it.

Tiffany ran into the study first and took a seat on the single sofa. The conversation was immediately interrupted. The two people’s eyes turned to the entrance at the same time. Choi Hong-seo bowed slightly to Director Kang and then asked Lee Hae-seong.

“Can I come in?”

“sure.”

A playful, yet affectionate and gentle voice. No different from his usual self. He was standing behind the desk smoking a cigarette, and he quickly broke it into an ashtray.

“You can just light it.”

“I was just about to turn it off.”

Hae-seong quickly made excuses and waved the smoke away with his hand. There were two air purifiers running in the room, so it wasn’t that spicy.

When Lee Hae-seong nodded, Director Kang left the study after greeting him.

“Were you working?”

“Well, things like this and that. Things to take care of before we go to America.”

While answering vaguely, Hae-seong closed the cover of the tablet that was spread out on the desk. Then he came out from behind the desk and faced Hong-seo Choi. The atmosphere that had been sharp enough to feel somewhat nervous just a moment ago was gone, and he had returned to being Hong-seo Choi’s affectionate lover with an embracing smile and eyes.

At such times, the face of the person who had never raised his voice or killed a bug in his entire life seemed like that. That was how it looked to Choi Hong-seo.

He hugged Choi Hong-seo’s waist and lightly bumped their foreheads together.

“Is the baby awake?”

For some reason, it was a more childish attitude than usual, but instead of being embarrassed, Choi Hong-seo hugged him. He put his arms around his broad back, wearing a thin knit, put his hands on his shoulders, and rested his temple and cheek on the nape of his neck. When he touched his body heat and his faint scent, he felt nostalgic, as if he had encountered something precious that he had lost a long time ago.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. I had some urgent work to do.”

While brushing back the hair of his lover who was leaning against his face and straightening it, Lee Hae-seong buried his lips on her forehead.

“The fever seems to have gone down. How are you feeling?”

“Okay. Not shaking at all.”

“Then let’s eat something. The baby has been hungry for too long.”

Choi Hong-seo slightly pulled away from his embrace. He faced his face, which was focused on him with a smile. With the arm that was wrapped around Lee Hae-seong’s back, he held onto his waist roughly, and Choi Hong-seo also focused only on his smile.

“Before that, there’s something I want to talk about.”

“Aren’t you hungry? I think it would be nice to talk while eating something, even if it’s just something simple.”

“I haven’t had an appetite yet because I just woke up. Let’s eat together after we talk. Have you eaten before, sir?”

“Isn’t there anything you want to eat? Should I have him prepare some egg porridge? And fry some tofu too. You like red bean paste stew, don’t you?”

Even though he didn’t seem to have an appetite after the conversation ended, Choi Hong-seo nodded to reassure him, who was desperate to eat something. Lee Hae-seong sat Choi Hong-seo down on the sofa and called to ask for a meal and some warm tea.

Choi Hong-seo unconsciously folded his fingers one by one on his knee while looking at the side view of the understanding that was giving instructions. It was an unconscious action. One, two, three… Then he unfolded his folded fingers and clenched them into fists. A self-deprecating laugh flowed out. It was because he thought that at the most critical moment, this power of habit was not needed.

“What are you thinking that makes you laugh to yourself?”

Lee Hae-seong came and sat down next to him and asked. Instead of answering directly, Choi Hong-seo brought up a different story.

“Sir, I was on the 32nd floor at that time.”

“……”

“I didn’t count on my fingers. I wasn’t scared.”

The face of Lee Hae-seong, which had been so gentle, cracked. Tension filled the air. Choi Hong-seo gently placed his hand over Lee Hae-seong’s. The wide back of his hand, with its clear blue veins, would have the power to crush anything, but for some reason, at this moment, it looked soft to Choi Hong-seo’s eyes.

“But now I regret that choice.”

“……”

“I was more important to you than I thought. But I didn’t know it.”

“Hongseo.”

“So I won’t do that again. It’s better for you if we roll around in the mud together than if I act alone to protect you… right?”

Understanding, who swallowed dry saliva, sank his chin and returned to its original position. Then, he suddenly and firmly grabbed Choi Hong-seo’s fingertips that had been quietly covering the back of his hand. Then, he looked at his lover with a face full of emotions that he never showed to anyone, and nodded several times.

“That’s right. That’s fine. Mud? That’s temporary. We’ll figure it out. But without you… That’s a problem that can’t be solved. Just don’t disappear, leaving behind a problem that can’t be solved.”

Choi Hong-seo also nodded. The more I listened, the more I felt like what he said was true. Problems can be solved by staying together. However, if we lose each other, the problem cannot be solved.

I felt like I could say it. I will say it.

“You know President Jo Seong-Hyeon, right? He’s the CEO of JS Construction.”

“……”

“I have a sex video of Yoon Hye-an.”

There was no change in Hae-seong’s expression. He just listened quietly to Choi Hong-seo’s story with unwavering eyes.

“That guy is going to use that as an excuse to call you out and threaten you.”

His gaze, which had been fixed on Choi Hong-seo’s eyes the whole time, slowly fell to his chest.

“Sir, did you know?”

Choi Hong-seo pulled his hand to make eye contact.

“Mr. Cho showed up there yesterday and said something. You knew everything, didn’t you?”

He looked up with a reluctant expression at the urging of his lover who was pulling his arm, telling him to look at him.

“I already told you that I would love you badly and selfishly.”

There was a firmness in his voice that made it clear that he would not compromise. He would not apologize, and he could not promise not to stalk or wiretap in the future.

“Pretending to be a gentleman and waiting nicely? I’ve tried everything. I’ve only lost big.”

His cold, cooling face was mocking his past self.

“I investigated every detail of your present and past, and kept someone with you 24 hours a day… Even if that wasn’t protection but surveillance, I wish I had acted like a madman back then. Hundreds, thousands of times. I had a dream of going back to that moment and cutting off every ounce of conscience.”

The increasingly agitated tone and the sparkling eyes that seemed to have been poured with oil suddenly softened in an instant, as if begging for Choi Hong-seo’s understanding.

“A dream that won’t let you leave me, that won’t let you do whatever you want with your life.”

Whether it was tailing or wiretapping. Whether it was kidnapping or confinement, which he had joked about in the past. Choi Hong-seo didn’t care. He wasn’t trying to get a promise to stop such surveillance. He was misunderstanding.

“Then why didn’t you rush in right away when you found out that President Cho had appeared in that room?”

“……”

“You waited for me to speak for myself. So that I could make different choices than before.”

Because you are the kind of person who would rather come to me on your own two legs than chain me up and make me your doll, even if it means following me around, trembling in fear that you might fall and get hurt.

Hae-seong Lee, who was silently watching with a face that seemed to be enduring labor pains, was sweating from his hands. Hong-seo Choi quietly buried his forehead in the end of his shoulder.

“What I’m saying is that any love you give me can’t be bad or selfish….”