Come Back

Choi Hong-seo also dug deeper into his arms. He adjusted his upper body, which was wearing a vest over a shirt without a jacket, several times, and rubbed his skin against the neck and shoulders exposed above the shirt collar.

Hae-seong Lee usually didn’t wear much perfume, but when they were this close, he could smell all the scents coming from him. Shower gel, cologne, aftershave, body spray… Choi Hong-seo loved this unique scent that was created by mixing carefully selected products with his body odor.

“It’s mine,” she said greedily, brushing her dry lips against his neck.

“Are you feeling a little better?”

Lee Hae-seong asked affectionately. But the headache continued to prickle his temples spasmodically. Choi Hong-seo bit his lower lip tightly.

“Honey, do you want some macarons? I picked some up from Hongseo’s favorite bakery while I was in Hannam-dong.”

Lee Hae-seong, who had accepted that Choi Hong-seo had calmed down to some extent, tried to pull his body away. However, Choi Hong-seo held onto his vest tightly with his hand and did not let go.

“Actually, at that time, I didn’t want to leave you behind.”

“……”

His arms, made up of gently curved muscles, were firm but not rigid. But I felt that his warm arms momentarily stiffen.

“My friend said that his brother and uncle were coming to Bangkok… and I wanted to introduce my brother to him. I thought that it might be possible… Even after I made up my mind, I still had that kind of hope. As if I wouldn’t die, as if every day, a new day would continue to come to me.”

“Hongseo…”

Lee Hae-seong’s voice trembled. This time, he didn’t even think about hugging Choi Hong-seo more tightly.

“Nothing else mattered, but I didn’t want to let you go… The truth is, I wanted to be happy and be greedy.”

Even after meeting again like this, and even after he recognized me as Choi Hong-seo and not Yoon Hye-an, and even after talking about all sorts of old stories… neither of us could bring ourselves to bring up the story of ‘that time’.

‘That time’ when Choi Hong-seo had to stand on the 32nd floor of a rooftop bar in Bangkok.

“Even though I didn’t want to go… I thought that if I disappeared, that would be my responsibility.”

“……”

“But waking up in a body like this… isn’t that it? Sir, am I… being punished?”

“No, I didn’t do anything that deserves punishment.”

Only then did Hae-seong Lee’s frozen body and lips begin to move. Hae-seong Lee, who had been gripping Hong-seo Choi’s shoulders as if he was going to crush them, pushed them away with great force. To see his face. As expected, Hong-seo Choi’s face and eyes were not normal.

“A member who suffered with me knelt down and begged for help because his father needed urgent money for surgery… I didn’t even think about it. Louis Vuitton or something…”

“Hongseo, Choi Hongseo.”

As he was rambling on and on with unfocused eyes, Choi Hong-seo didn’t even realize that he was referring to the previous Yoon Hye-an as ‘me’.

This time, Hae-seong grabbed his lover’s cheeks. They were like fireballs. In an instant, goosebumps ran through Hae-seong’s entire body. Gangwon-do. It was like the time when he had supported and carried down the trembling ‘Yoon Hye-an’ from the shrine. With her body boiling with fever, she had never wanted to leave him and had made his heart ache. That time when Yoon Hye-an no longer seemed like Yoon Hye-an.

“Why would Dong-ha do that to me? I thought he was being too much for someone he didn’t even remember, but that wasn’t the case. Rather, I wonder how he could have thought of trusting me again, even for a moment. If I were Dong-ha…”

“Choi Hongseo!”

“……”

“Look at me. Make eye contact with me.”

Choi Hong-seo. He heard Lee Hae-seong calling his name. Choi Hong-seo, who had been talking nonchalantly, stopped and looked around here and there, barely making eye contact with Lee Hae-seong. He knew that his face, which he wanted to see, was clouded with tears.

“Why did you do that? You’re not Yun Hye-an.”

I blinked my eyelids slowly. As large tears flowed down my face, his image became clear again.

“That’s okay too… I don’t mind seeing Yoon Hye-an… Sir, I don’t want to disappear.”

“……”

“Actually, I’m scared.”

The lips that confessed that they were scared trembled. The tears that welled up inside their lips were hot.

The two hands of Hae-seong, who were holding his face so tightly that his eyes were almost blurry, seemed to be the only force holding him to this earth.

“Hongseo, do you remember?”

Hae-seong’s bloodshot and shining eyes met Choi Hong-seo’s as if he was glaring at him.

“I feel like I can do whatever I want in the world. That’s what Hongseo said. Do you remember?”

Tears continued to seep down between the palms of Hae-seong’s hands and Choi Hong-seo’s cheeks.

“Hongseo is right. You can do that. I’ve lived without doing it even though I could, but not anymore.”

Hae-seong’s two thumbs rubbed Choi Hong-seo’s cheeks. As if he was being hypnotized, Choi Hong-seo stared at his eyes.

“It’s all up to me, but my heart can’t let you go. That’s why you’ll never disappear.”

Lee Hae-seong, who slowly wiped away the tears on Choi Hong-seo’s cheeks, pulled the body in front of him back into his arms. As if to prove that he wouldn’t let it disappear, his arms and arms were so tight that Choi Hong-seo’s breathing became suffocated.

Perhaps this was the moment when Choi Hong-seo became most honest in front of Lee Hae-seong.

When I was worried that if I had a hard time, this person would have a harder time, and if he knew all about my feelings, he would be in more pain than I was. When I revealed my feelings that I had buried deep inside and tried to handle alone for that reason, I knew that it was showing him the inside of my heart.

Even though I took off all my clothes in front of him and mixed my flesh, I never properly showed him the naked flesh inside my body or heart.

That day, Choi Hong-seo had a fever, was nauseated, and was talking nonsense with his lips parched. However, this time, Lee Hae-seong did not take ‘Yoon Hye-an’ to the hospital. Instead, he took her to the bedroom of his house in Bundang and watched over her all night.

Because I knew that going to the hospital was a meaningless symptom.

■

“Eww, ugh! Eww!”

Kneeling on the mat, Lee Hae-seong grabbed the rope of the cable machine with both hands and pulled hard, squeezing out the last of his strength. He looked at his belly button, curled his body, and repeatedly pulled down the rope. The position of the cable crunch was like praying to God for a desperate wish. Although the pain felt like it was going to tear his upper abdomen, he welcomed the pain.

“Forty-seven, forty-eight… forty… nine… fifty.”

When the trainer finished counting, Hae-seong let go of his grip and fell forward, gasping for breath. Sweat poured down like rain from his body that had just finished two hours of high-intensity exercise. The sleeveless T-shirt he had taken off in the middle was already soaked in sweat to the point where its original color was unknown. Every time Hae-seong breathed, the muscles in his completely tense body bulged as if they would explode at any moment. He looked like a giant beast holding back his anger.

“You worked hard. Wipe off the sweat and rehydrate.”

Understanding raised his upper body at the trainer’s encouraging touch that patted his back, and accepted the towel and tumbler that the trainer handed him. While roughly wiping the sweat off his naked upper body, he drank an ionic drink made from a special powder.

It was late in the morning when Choi Hong-seo’s fever finally went down. Even if you add up the time he spent half-asleep during the night, it would only be about an hour. He didn’t cancel his appointment with his trainer because he thought he should at least exercise if he couldn’t sleep or eat properly, but his thoughts were always on Choi Hong-seo. He kept worrying that he might wake up in the meantime. Even though the personal gym he was working out at was right below the third floor of the Bundang mansion where Choi Hong-seo was sleeping.

“Are you busy these days?”

“Work? Why?”

“My dark circles are darker and my skin has become rough. I feel like I’m not sleeping well.”

“Haha… As expected, you’re an expert. You asked me to do it more intensely, but I felt like I wasn’t able to keep up, today?”

Lee Hae-seong laughed self-deprecatingly as he wiped the sweat from his chest and abs.

It had already been 7~8 years since he had started working out with an American trainer whom he had first met during a business trip in his early 30s and whom Lee Hae-seong had personally persuaded and brought to Korea. He had become like a friend to him, and even though he had been living in Korea for a long time, the only Korean he could still speak was ‘Hello, thank you, quickly quickly, how much is it?’ Although he lived in Seoul, he was still a perfect American, and all of his other clients besides Lee Hae-seong were foreigners. Lee Hae-seong liked that.

“No, that’s not true. He’s still at the level of an active athlete. It’s because he looks like he’s trying to make up for his lack of sleep with exercise.”

“Thanks for the advice. But it’s not because of work, it’s because we’re newlyweds.”

The trainer shook his head and laughed as if he couldn’t stop himself. He looked like he couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious.

“I never thought I’d hear something like that from you. You’ve never met anyone like this before.”

Hae-seong Lee shrugged his shoulders and avoided answering, and the trainer patted Hae-seong Lee’s shoulder, where his deltoid muscles were sticking out.

“Well, anyway, it’s called happy sleep deprivation. Well, that’s good. Let’s do some finishing stretches.”

After the trainer left, Lee Hae-seong called Director Kang while walking on the inclined treadmill.

“What about VIP?”

“He is still sleeping.”

“That’s great. Then let’s talk quickly now.”

Lee Hae-seong spoke without hesitation, looking out the front window of the treadmill towards Mt. Taebong in the distance.

“Please arrange for me to have a thorough examination at the Mayo Clinic. No matter the cost, I will do everything I can to make it happen as soon as possible.”

“Are you talking about the VIP checkup?”

“……”

As he climbed the 15 degree incline treadmill, Lee Hae-seong turned his head and looked at Director Kang. His expression was one of reproach, as if he was asking such an obvious question.

“All right.”

“It doesn’t matter how far in advance we are or who the people who have reservations are, we can’t wait more than two weeks.”

Lee Hae-seong picked up the towel hanging on the treadmill and wiped the sweat from his face and neck as he set the incline a little higher.

“And, how is Chuncheon these days?”

Chuncheon meant Chuncheon Prison. It was where the former president of UB Entertainment, Myung Do-hoon, was imprisoned.