Come Back

“Because you weren’t there…”

“……”

“I took my eyes off you, I fell asleep, and I thought you were gone…”

“……”

“I thought it was all over…”

He was speaking in a delirious manner, like someone who had lost their mind.

The long and strong arm wrapped around Choi Hong-seo’s torso wasn’t holding back at all. It was like a predator lunging at its prey, unaware that its own weight or power could threaten the other person, instead acting as a sign of affection.

A dull pain spread across his chest, and he couldn’t breathe enough through his nose alone. Still, Choi Hong-seo didn’t ask him to let go. Instead, he tilted his chin up and opened his mouth to breathe deeply.

Feeling his taut muscles rapidly exhaling beside his bare back, he put his hands on his back, trying to understand the situation.

Realizing he couldn’t hold onto him any tighter, Lee Hae-seong bowed his head. His actions were desperate, as though he wanted to stay close to Choi Hong-seo for as long as possible.

“The seat next to me was empty, my phone and other belongings were still there… And no one said they saw you this morning…”

“……”

“It was terrifying.”

Lee Hae-seong chuckled while shaking his torso, but it wasn’t a joyful laugh. It was more of a forced laugh to dispel the overwhelming fear. His stiff, shaky laughter didn’t last long.

With a voice tinged with a sigh, he confessed as though he was collapsing.

“I just prayed… that your soul hadn’t left.”

“Ah…”

A small sigh-like moan escaped from Choi Hong-seo’s lips.

The reason he had run out to the beach in his disheveled sleepwear became clear.

After briefly gripping the cardigan Choi Hong-seo was wearing, Lee Hae-seong gradually released his grip. His face was reluctant, as if he didn’t want to detach from Choi Hong-seo, even slightly.

His cold, sweaty hands cupped his face. He lifted Choi Hong-seo’s chin to look into his eyes.

“Is it still Hong-seo?”

Choi Hong-seo nodded to confirm. But it seemed that wasn’t enough for Lee Hae-seong.

“It’s really still you, right?”

Choi Hong-seo placed his hand on top of Lee Hae-seong’s hands, which were covering his face.

“It’s Hong-seo. It really is.”

This time, Lee Hae-seong nodded. His mouth twitched into a small, strained smile. He awkwardly wiped his face several times with his large palm.

“Haha… I overreacted, didn’t I?”

He forced a smile, but his face was still pale.

“It wasn’t an overreaction. I shouldn’t have left without saying anything. I was wrong. I won’t do it again.”

“……”

For a while, neither of them spoke. They both silently recalled the moment when Choi Hong-seo had disappeared from this world, but neither dared to bring it up. The calm and steady sound of the waves and the slightly chilly sea breeze filled the quiet silence.

Seeing Lee Hae-seong’s bare torso look too cold, Choi Hong-seo reached out to stroke his chest, shoulders, and arms. Lee Hae-seong tightly gripped both of Choi Hong-seo’s wrists, whispering with a face that looked as though it had been shattered.

“Okay, just don’t do that again. You don’t have to ever do that again.”

Lee Hae-seong, still standing, wiped his face several more times and then reached for Choi Hong-seo’s hand. His broad palm covered Choi Hong-seo’s hand completely.

“Shall we go? Let’s have breakfast and then go hiking.”

The narrow and steep stairs along the cliff made it impossible for them to walk side by side. Holding hands and walking one behind the other was uncomfortable, but Lee Hae-seong willingly endured the discomfort. It seemed like he had no intention of letting go of Choi Hong-seo’s hand.

“I woke up a little earlier than planned, but there’s supposed to be rain in the afternoon anyway. It worked out well. We’ll go quickly and then relax in the afternoon.”

He spoke more than usual, probably trying to show he was okay, but his stiff tone and tense voice only revealed his unease.

Choi Hong-seo, following behind while holding Lee Hae-seong’s outstretched hand, glanced down without thinking. His feet, stepping on the stairs, came into view. He was barefoot. The wet grass, dirt from the steps, and sand from the beach had splattered onto the calf portion of his blue pajama pants, leaving a mess of vertical streaks.

He hadn’t even thought about putting on shoes, let alone a shirt.

He might have felt even more terrifying fear than he had explained to himself.

He could imagine Lee Hae-seong, running around the vast mansion like a madman, calling out his name. A man who had completely lost his usual calm and detached demeanor, frantically searching for his loved one, terrified.

Swishhh. As they reached the last step, the sounds of the waves and the wind, which had been out of his consciousness until then, suddenly filled his ears. He looked at Lee Hae-seong’s strong back, which seemed unshakable by any force. Then his gaze dropped to Lee Hae-seong’s bare feet stepping on the grass.

He had once thought of him as a person who could have anything, who owned the world, like a god…

But now, he didn’t know what he was looking at.

Choi Hong-seo pulled on Lee Hae-seong’s hand in the opposite direction. Lee Hae-seong stopped and turned around, looking at him with a face still frozen in shock.

“At first… I thought I was crazy.”

“……”

“I thought I had died and had woken up inside someone else’s body, but… actually, I’m Yoon Hye-an, and I just thought I was Choi Hong-seo… That seemed like the more plausible explanation.”

Lee Hae-seong’s eyes widened as he looked at Choi Hong-seo. It was a topic they had both avoided since yesterday.

“But if that were true… all my memories of you should be wrong.”

“……”

“If it was just a delusion of a mad person, then every memory would be too detailed and vivid… I couldn’t think of anything but you…”

His gaze dropped as he held Choi Hong-seo’s hand tightly. He took a deep breath to hold back his tears. Lee Hae-seong’s bare feet came close, and he gently pressed Choi Hong-seo’s head onto his shoulder.

“Hong-seo, it’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it now. There’s no need to talk when you’re already in pain.”

Choi Hong-seo shook his head, still resting his forehead on Lee Hae-seong’s shoulder.

“Actually, I’m scared.”

“……”

“After I got to be with you again, after I could talk to you, I started getting more scared.”

He raised his head, looking directly into Lee Hae-seong’s eyes, thinking that he shouldn’t avoid this feeling.

“I don’t know how long I can stay in Yoon Hye-an’s body… Whether my soul will leave and his soul will return, or if he’ll come back in a coma… and I’ll just disappear…”

“Don’t you ever say something like that! You’re not going anywhere!”

Lee Hae-seong grabbed Choi Hong-seo’s shoulders and shook him roughly. Choi Hong-seo saw the fear in his eyes. They both wanted to avoid this fear, but neither of them could.

“I tried hard to think with my slow mind about what I could do for you…”

“……”

“But when I came back and saw you in so much pain, I regretted it.”

Lee Hae-seong stopped shaking him and tightly held his shoulders.

“No matter what terrible pain was waiting for us, I should have stayed and gone through it with you.”

“……”

“I can’t regret it again. So you have to say it when you have the chance.”

“……”

“I love you.”

Ihaeseong’s hand fell off Choi Hongseo’s shoulder, and aside from that, no further movement came from him.

It seemed as though he had completely forgotten the shock of searching for Choi Hongseo just moments ago. A new shock had replaced the previous one.

He wanted to say something more than just “I love you.” It didn’t feel like enough on its own. It wasn’t that he wanted to boast about how deeply he loved her, but rather that his feelings were more complicated, like an abstract painting, layered with alternating light and darkness, a subject that was unclear. But how could he explain such difficult emotions?

Just as he was about to say “I love you” again, he approached.

This time, Ihaeseong was careful, almost as if he was afraid. He gently drew closer, his chest barely touching hers, as his arm lightly brushed over her shoulder. His warm breath filled her ear.

“You won’t disappear.”

“……”

“I won’t let that happen.”

His whisper was soft, but there was no trace of fear in his voice anymore.

His warm, rough lips pressed against her earlobe and trailed down to her temple. They gently brushed over her eyelid and slid down the bridge of her nose.

“Ah…”

Choi Hongseo, realizing what he intended to do, sighed and parted her lips. As she did, his lips met hers through the gap. Their lips alternated, lightly pressing and pulling at each other. As soon as his upper lip was caught by hers, the next moment, Choi Hongseo herself was kissing his upper lip. They repeated this, pressing softly, exchanging the wet softness of their mouths behind their lips.

Amidst the shimmering fragments of the Pacific Ocean and the breeze that blew from the distant, unknown sea, they stood firm, reassuring and holding each other. At that moment, nothing seemed to be feared. They were kissing, and the relief of finally reaching him overwhelmed everything.

With a soft “chook” sound, Ihaeseong’s lips gently pulled away. As he rubbed his nose against hers, his gaze was still fixed on her lips.

“Do you still want to go hiking?”

Choi Hongseo shook her head. Each time she shook her head, their noses brushed against each other. There was no need to decide who would go first, and there was no need for a proposal or agreement. Hand in hand, they quickened their steps back to the mansion.