Classless Ascension

Chapter 111: Lick It All, You Dog!

What was Josh supposed to do against the gnoll Boss? According to a random forum, he was supposed to team up with others to hunt it. Plus, it would require ample preparations and great team synergy.

The main issue was to both have the ability to stop the Boss from fleeing and make sure it wouldn't snipe the most vulnerable Players. It seemed like many had lost a healer or a mage after one single well-placed arrow. It was that huge.

That's when Josh saw a post from some guy with <The-Wise-One> as username. Said post was praising a new free-to-use application to the moon called <Climber>. Their slogan was <A party whenever you want>. Josh felt curious about it and installed it. Appeared a list of settings:

Select a Floor: 14

Then right at the second choice, Josh was already stumped. He wanted to be honest…but there was no None option. So, he just did as the earthling dating app style: full-on BS.

Select a Class: Sword Master

Select a Difficulty: Hell

Thank you for using Climber! We will notify you as soon as a personalized party has been made for you!

Alright. Now, Josh would obviously not wait without doing anything productive, so he headed to the G district. There were a few things he wanted to acquire. He even visited a few businesses, asking questions that made many look at him with either worried or disgusted expressions.

Soon he could be seen leaving the place happily, for he had accomplished his mission. He had almost been kicked out of the district a few times, but he had obviously managed to resolve the situation.

The whole thing had probably taken him an hour or so. Looking at his UW, the Climber app still hadn't found him a party. Conveniently there was even a counter that showed the time elapsed.

A screenshot later, Josh was already leaving a bad review. Both on the thread and the app page: "Too long, you should change the slogan. Whenever I want, is it? How about an hour ago when I queued in my request?!"

Josh sighed contently. Venting on the Internet was one of the small pleasures of life.

Oh, well. Now it was time for revenge!

Alright, perhaps revenge was a strong word. After all, it was but a simulated monster. One that had made a fool out of Josh but only a simulated monster nonetheless. Yeah, he was going to fuck the creature up. So much! Thus, he entered the Tower.

"System! Activate Hell difficulty!"

[Mission: Annihilate 5 Packs of Gnolls.]

Talk about sly! In the first run, Josh could have easily ignored the Boss. This updated mission actually forced him to summon the creature. Now, he could already guess that what would come next. There would be a part 2 with him needing to defeat it.

Well, this didn't change his plans in any case. Josh began his exploration journey. Soon, he figured out what had changed with the difficulty increase: the packs were bigger, and their archery skills were even better.

Josh still quickly managed to locate and destroy 5 packs. Well, he actually left one gnoll alive. He wanted control over when the Boss would spawn, so Josh bounded the gnoll using spider strings.

Then he began preparing a plan that was ridiculously dumb and insane.

While at it, Josh also prepared a plan B, one that made more sense but was less entertaining.

What was that crazy plan? Well, he had gone to the G district and had pestered many chefs there until they sold him the meat he wanted. Yes, Josh had bought meat, nothing else.

What explained the odd reactions he had gotten? Well, he had spent a long time explaining that he wanted the meat to be smelly, to be one that would easily hide his smell and be one that dogs wouldn't be able to resist.

Let's just say many chefs were probably thinking of him as some meat freak. Josh made a pile of juicy-looking raw meat. He had only gotten one type to be able to easily stack it in his material bag.

Was this going to work? Probably not, but still. Many would have wondered, why the Hell was he doing this? Well, it all stemmed from a single fact. What do you do when you can't reach the enemy because of his speed? You let the enemy come to you!

Josh equipped his spider set and also his Burger-Man mask. It would fit nicely. What else was better than a burger to dive into a pile of unidentified meat? That is when he finally mercilessly took down the last remaining gnoll.

[Mission: Kill the Gnoll Hunter! Teleport Out Disabled!] How surprising…

Would this plan work? Would this the Boss even care about it? Would he shoot a few arrows at the pile of meat instead? Josh believed that he was safe. After all, it had shown no interest in the rat before. Why would it want to beat the meat?

The Boss spawned. Josh could hear it. Then it started prowling around the place before beginning to grab some meat, clearly tempted. Josh could hear the sound of the meat pile being ruffled and of saliva flowing as it began eating. He couldn't help but grin.

Josh waited for the Boss to be so very close. That is when he jumped out, stabbing straight at the Boss! Josh could feel his blade penetrate the neck of the creature as it began screaming in pain, bleeding.

The creature was wounded, but it wouldn't go down so easily. It tried retreating, but Josh was ready for it this time. He jumped straight atop the monster's back!

<Great Gnoll Hunter Piercing Eye Lv 28??>

The creature screamed in anger while trying to slap the annoying human off. But there was no way Josh would give up that easily. He kept his grip solid. He used the white and sticky ability to stick to the monster's back and maneuvered around it.

He was akin to a tick holding onto a dog. He was akin to an alcoholic holding on to his drink. He was akin to a teenager holding on to his phone. He was akin to a man of culture holding on to his big titty goth GF.

All the while, Josh kept stabbing his spear deeper and deeper. So deep in fact that it would have shamed even the most Hardcore of stabbers. He kept laughing boisterously as he did so. So what if the creature was fast? He was moving with it! Josh kept at it, all until the creature finally fell.

[Mission Accomplished! First Solo Hell Clear! Increased Rewards!]

Now was the time for the loot. When Josh saw what it was, he couldn't help but smile radiantly and be happy from the very bottom of his heart!

It contained the term Bloodline…