Book 16-17.1: Loose Ends
The trip to return across five biomes took a lot less time than their initial exploration. Yuriko walked absentmindedly while she used her perception slivers to keep a careful watch of their surroundings. Carina looked flummoxed even after the half an hour they spent crossing three biomes. Yuriko, on the other hand, had a lot more on her mind than her consciousness strands couldn't quite keep up. It wasn't as if each strand was as powerful as her full mind, after all.
The way consciousness strands worked was that it divided her focus several ways. An unawakened human mind could barely think of two things at once. Back before her Atavism Ritual, she was the same. Afterwards, and especially after she started on the Ancient's Way, she could divide her thoughts and focus on several things at once without compromising the quality of her mind. It didn't mean she had had multiple minds, though it was somewhat true now that she had an incarnation body. Still, her mind and Anima were connected. Not physically, but through the dreamscape, and perhaps the resonant quality of both minds and Anima being identical.
Either way, it meant that when she pondered something that took a large amount of her mental capacity, the strands of consciousness converged. Too much of her focus on one thing meant everything else took a backseat, and it was only because of her powerful physique and Radiant Anima that she was still combat capable even while doing the equivalent of deep meditation.
As for what she was thinking about…well, the main thing was the tower spirit's warning. She knew about the path of Exaltation, but only in the loosest sense. From the memories Damien left behind, she thought it was the method of being the best she could be, or rather, the best an Ancient could be. A theoretical high that was near impossible to achieve by 'normal' Ancients as evidenced by the Circle from the Conclave of Conquest.
What made her different, though?
That she had Damien in her head, or perhaps Anima? She remembered he only started poking at her when she completed her first, and only, Facet. Well, it took a Season or so before he actually talked. Even now, she wasn't sure if the Golden Silhouette of her Facet was actually Damien. She hadn't used that Facet in years, and truthfully, she was somewhat reluctant to do so. If the Golden Silhouette was Damien, or an aspect of him, trying and failing to call on the Silhouette would just reopen wounds. If it wasn't…well, she didn't actually know if it would still work considering how much she changed.
Well, it wasn't as if she'd lose anything by trying…other than feeling down, that is. She pushed that thought into the depths of her mind and left it there. The Golden Silhouette wouldn't really be all that useful now anyway, considering she still hadn't finished processing all of Damien's memories.
"You're strong…do you really need someone like me in your team?" Carina suddenly asked, looking more than a little bit forlorn.
Yuriko blinked slowly, shaking herself out of her rumination. She reached up and stroked Fluffington's head. The elemental wolf pupper had decided he preferred walking for now and had not gone down to his toy wolf form. He chuffed at the contact and leaned on her hand. Even if she was quite strong, she had to use her Anima to brace against the canvas of reality to avoid getting bowled over: Fluffers was heavy in his normal form.
"I mean, we still need a guide, and you're fun to be with. Honestly, if you're supposed to be bad luck to be around with, I need more of you, ehehehe."
Carina stared at her for a long moment, long enough that she tripped over a rock. Yuriko caught her with her kinesis before she fell on her face, and the brown-skinned woman blushed as red as could be seen through her complexion.
Yuriko chuckled, then asked, "Well, I would like to get to know you better, but the chief consideration is, what do you want to do? What are your goals? My companions and I are set on continuing the delve. So we're trying to get to the next level. You?"
Carina shook her head. "I've never considered it, honestly. I could barely survive reaching the third layer, and you've already killed those monsters by yourself. That Raid Monster is something that could be found in the fourth layer, though rarely. Off the beaten path, for sure, and would take nearly a hundred delvers to fight to a standstill. You killed it by yourself," she repeated. "I don't think I could be much help there."
"You don't have to be," Yuriko said.
Carina nodded. "I understand. To each their own role." It had the sound of a motto or a rule rather than anything else.
"Yes."
They walked towards the door frame and crossed easily. The second biome from the orbital elevator was free of snow. Radiant sunshine blanketed the space, though the reflection of the sun was but a few handspans from the horizon. Halfway across the biome, Carina finally spoke.
"I want to live."
Yuriko arched an eyebrow. "Are you ill?"
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"No." Carina chuckled, "No, I meant truly live. Not this hardscrabble life where I spend most of the day hunting for frags, sell them for a pittance, and use up the creds to pay for food and rent. A solo delver's life isn't anything better than subsistence living."
"Ah. So you want to be strong?"
"If it comes with the territory, yeah. But I just want to live without worrying about where my next meal's coming from. Where I'm going to stay the night since I couldn't afford the deposit for a place. I spend more creds on a cheap motel room than I would have if I got a place of my own."
Yuriko carefully examined Carina. Her gear wasn't worn out. Her clothes were far from threadbare. Her plasma rifle was well maintained. "You don't look like you're struggling for creds?" she said in a neutral tone.
"I am, but a delver's gear is their lifeline, you know? Sir Blue and my rifle are the only things that have kept me alive so far, when I walk these fields by myself. Most of my creds, after food, go to equipment."
"Huh. I see." Yuriko shrugged. "And you struggled with joining a team because of your reputation as bad luck?" She tilted her head to the side, "What led you to talk to me earlier?"
Carina scratched the back of her head and laughed ruefully. "A whim."
Yuriko's lips twitched, then she guffawed, "Alright, I haven't changed my mind. But you'll need to find something more ambitious than just living."
Carina grinned. "Eventually, I hope."
The rest of the walk to the orbital elevator didn't take more than a few minutes. Another half hour saw them through immigration, and then they rode up the elevator. That one took a bit longer than an hour, in contrast to the trip from the orbital rings to the surface. It wasn't that surprising, honestly, but Yuriko, through the new aspect of her Radiance Colligia, keenly felt nuances of gravity, both from the planet and the artificial one used by the train. And when they arrived back on node city 626, she couldn't ignore the strangeness of the rings' gravitational manipulation.
Energy swirled in patterns that were suddenly familiar. Or rather, the patterns now made sense to her. Most of the runescript enchantments were anchored to the walls, but the actual major part of it all was on the glass sphere that mirrored the Radiant Sun. Well, now, it was slowly turning into a reflection of the Luminous Moon. The late afternoon had gone to paperwork and travel time. Yuriko checked her Autotab and noted the hotel where the others booked their suites, as well as the address and directions.
"Do you want to meet them over dinner or would you like to gather your thoughts and meet up tomorrow?" Yuriko asked.
"I'm more than a bit shell shocked with what happened," Carina said. "I'll take a raincheck on the meet and greet for now, but I will be there by tomorrow, at breakfast." She whipped out a smartphone and the two of them swapped contact details. Yuriko's Autotab had connected to the local Network, though she had some trouble fiddling with it to set up the exchange with Carina. The greenette helped her with her account details, or rather, the device ID since Yuriko didn't have an account tied to the local Network. Well, it was good enough to allow communication, and she would let Ilvara and Gwendith figure things out.
She headed to the hotel with Fluffers back in the pack in his puppy form. The wolf was dozing, having spent most of his energy in the delve. She easily located the hotel through the city's map application, and she went through the reception area without being bothered. Her Anima perception had already located her companions, though only Ilvara and Ryoko were there. She felt for Heron and Gwendith, and found her boyfriend exploring the Adventurers' Guild branch a few blocks away. Her girlfriend was accompanied by Saki and Devotee in exploring the local marketplace and tradehub.
She nodded to Ilvara in greeting, patted Ryoko's back, then tossed her Autotab to the former Milstate agent. "I think you need to configure that for the local Net."
"I've already done the others," Ilvara said easily. She had been seated on the sofa with a portable terminal. Yuriko couldn't see the screen through her perception, though her sliver was able to interact with the thing. The components were laced with Ossifrum alloys, which rendered Anima interaction difficult. If not for her foray into the first layer, she wouldn't have learned how to bypass its protections.
Ilvara pulled out a cord and plugged the Autotab with her terminal, then fiddled with it. Yuriko left the silverhead to her tinkering and entered her bedroom. Well, shared bedroom, apparently, since the suite didn't have enough rooms for all of them to have their own. Well, it was a temporary setup anyway. The hotel wasn't full, but the price for a night in the cheapest room wasn't low, and lacking an easy way to replenish their treasury, her lover had opted to be frugal.
She wandered into the bathroom and took a soak in the tub for a quarter of an hour, musing about different things and just observing the artificial gravity phenomena that covered the entire city. Afterwards, she took a seat meditation pose on top of the bed and whiled away the hours in self-reflection.
In Astoria, Yuriko's Nitsuda Civilian arrived at Oakmont Estates and parked in the garage. She climbed to the apartment she shared with Scarlett, opting to take the stairs instead of the lift. She opened the door from the inside, having to slide the deadbolt free. Scarlett was home, locked in her room, quietly staring at the windows, at the orange coloured skies tainted by the setting sun.
Sighing to herself, Yuriko knocked on Scarlett's door, but her friend didn't react. She'd given the smol woman more than enough space, but several weeks of moping around at home, despite attending her mandated therapist, wasn't really helping the other woman.
'Maybe I shouldn't have let her…' Yuriko thought as she unlocked the door.
After surviving the Unfettered attack, Scarlett, who'd been drowning in emotion, had made a move on her. Yuriko had allowed it, of course, since she also found the redhead quite attractive, but apparently, after having her fill, Scarlett's emotions crashed and the trauma of the day, her sudden Alteration, and knowing that many of the club members died in the attack, sent the smol girl spiralling into depression. She also wasn't entirely ready to handle her infatuation with Yuriko in such a way.
Yuriko had let Scarlett be since she requested it, but the other girl wasn't getting any better. She pushed open the door and Scarlett's head turned in her direction, her face a mask of fear, shame, and guilt.
"Enough, Scar," Yuriko said. "I can't leave you be."
When the smaller girl scrambled away from her and pressed herself against the wall, face filled with Terror, Yuriko frowned and peeked into the connecting thread between the two of them.
"Rotter…"