NOVEL NEXT 63: Closure, for the Separated
"A-after all this time..." a voice breathed wanly, "As it all nears the end, at a time like this... those haunting doubts reemerge. Truthfully, I wonder... could this be salvation, or a final punishment?"
After a pause, the bedridden woman's face tilted towards the door. Gone was the casual composure and dignity that had colored the elder's voice. No, not gone... just wavering.
"To think... such a long-forgotten and desperate hope... would bring me so much doubt, present me with such cruel choices. A desperate, foolish gambit... and in the end, the only one that succeeded. Not too late, but far from on time. I could... could almost laugh." A twisted, self-deprecating tone.
They were words spoken with exceedingly slow and shuddering breaths. Solemn words with immaculate pronunciation, yet spoken as if they were almost unbearable to utter. Words that threatened to overwhelm their speaker with emotion, whose twitching lips were indeed now interspersed by puffs of wry laughter.
Eyes that squeezed shut on a weathered face, one bearing a raw expression twisting somewhere between relish and torment. That fluctuating expression... Kana was drawn to it the moment it entered her sight. Paired with the elder's words, Kana also felt within her a distinct sense of unease.
This atmosphere... it was almost suffocatingly intense — a shattering shift from the quiet tranquility which gripped the rest of the building.
That was Kana's first true interaction with the preeminent, dignified, and exhausted-looking Uzumaki Mito. The one who had purportedly known Kana in the past. The only person who could sate the girl's gnawing hunger for the truth, her past, and more.
Her appearance belied the many titles Kana had heard about.
God's Wife, Vulpine Lady, Grandmaster of Sealing, Mistress of The Senju, Liaison of Alliances, and now... Bedridden Grandma?
This wasn't exactly how Kana imagined meeting, and this bedridden figure wasn't who she imagined meeting... but then again, the girl hadn't truly known what to expect from the beginning. What few awed preconceptions she conjured had been immediately shattered.
That was why she had quietly eavesdropped in the first place.
And snippets of Tsunade and Mito's conversation were plenty enough to leave Kana lost in thought, only to then have attention so suddenly thrust upon her. Still, considering the words she had overheard before now... a clearer picture of the present situation started to form in her mind. Kana's curiosity only flamed brighter in her heart, but it was blended with confusion, shock, fear, unease, and more.
It seemed Dan was facing some kind of danger, and that Kana herself might face something similar. And what was this about Tsunade's teacher? About it being 'that time' and for 'the successor'?
She understood the words, but not what they referred to.
One hand pressed against her pounding heart, Kana used the other to massage her still faintly-ringing ears. Her shoulders were still wound up tight in a cringing and wincing posture, left over from the shock of being so suddenly discovered. Or rather, it being revealed that Mito knew she was listening from the start. Which had been... an unnerving revelation to experience. Were they speaking indirectly because she was listening, so that she would not understand despite hearing all? Was this the level shinobi lived on all the time?
Her whole body still trembled slightly, resisting an instinctive and irrational urge to flee. That was the opposite of a good plan right now...
Tsunade noticed immediately and a look of concern flitted across the Sannin's face, wiping her previously domineering stance into a more demure and reassuring crouch. With a whispered "Sorry, sorry!", Tsunade leaned over, placing her chin atop Kana's head and rubbing the girl's shoulders to ease their tension.
Meanwhile, Kana's eyes were torn from Mito's expression to greet the bountiful sight now dominating her vision.
For the next few moments, Kana's mind completely blanked as the sensations of Soft and Warm melted her capacity for coherent thought. The Sannin's wide sleeves also wrapped around and folded with Kana's own robes, enclosing most of the girl's body with similarly soft and supple fabric.
Kana's body rather noticeably relaxed as a result of it all. As for her mind, well, the blonde Sannin... just incredible. Her hugging skill, unparalleled. Even without much experience, Kana once again reaffirmed her appreciation for this powerful shinobi art.
Whether intended or not, Tsunade and her... uniquely pleasant embrace... succeeded in soft-rebooting Kana's entire ability to think. If the other two legendary Sannin were anything like this, Kana could only shake her head at the idea.1Kana is a developing a bit of a skewed preconception of Jiraiya and Orochimaru now. One that is, ironically, not inaccurate for the Pervert Sage and the Crossgender Snake
As the now only-somewhat-dazed girl was shepherded by Tsunade's guiding arms into the pristine bedroom, the Sannin muttered more awkward apologies and slid the door closed behind them. Much more gently this time. Tsunade did add a few frustrated-sounding grumbles under her breath, eyebrows creased with a similar frustration.
Observing all that, Kana's overworked heart twinged with a strange and mixed feeling, containing in part the emotion she was more and more coming to realize as Gratitude.
There was more to it too, emotions both lighthearted and saddening. Kana was distracted by new feelings frequently these days, but exploring and connecting with those feelings brought an undeniable sort of satisfaction with it. This was one of those times, even as nervous as she was.
Looking up at the Sannin's pale brown eyes, Kana felt the corners of her lips and eyes tug up slightly — but Tsunade had already shifted her attention towards the large bed, her own expression reverting to one of intensity. Kana's moment of winding introspection abruptly ended as a gentle grunt echoed out from the nearby bed.
"My apologies, Tsuna, I... I thought it easier to let the past lie, to let it all resolve in the dark... so as to leave the future to you, last of my descendants. But I... I could not, not after... I had to hang on a bit longer."
"Grandmother... something like that I can understand, but you know well I'm not the-" her voice caught for a second, "-the only one who might get hurt by this."
Ah... right. There were more pressing concerns. Kana found it hard to believe her thoughts had become so jumbled again. Seriously, was something wrong with her head lately?
Kana found herself idly thinking that at least Tsunade was here... just being here, being close, her presence provided some measure of reassurance. Something far greater, far more stabilizing than Kana had ever thought possible before. A presence she could orient her senses around. Belatedly, Kana realized she had a similar yet slightly different feeling with Fuzō as well.
But... why did Tsunade's actions lately so often inspire such profound turmoil in Kana's mind? It was especially troublesome when Kana was trying to concentrate, as her eyes and thoughts sometimes ended up... lingering on the Sannin.
"It's true.... there are many I must apologize to, but seeing you two like this... Even if I am spurned, I feel more at ease."
Tsunade did smile faintly at that, but with troubled eyes. After a pause, the weary elder looked directly at Kana for the first time since the girl had entered,
"I... yes, there's no denying the resemblance. Child, please, come closer."
The old woman also had her hands clenched at her heart as she gazed over at Kana, a thin line of tears gathering in barely-open, aged eyes.
With Tsunade's arm bracing her back, Kana did as she was bid and approached the bedside.
What immediately drew her attention though, was the startlingly beautiful array of jutsu formulas that coated the elder's bandaged torso. But, 'beautiful'? What about it made her think that...?
A sense of nervousness returned to Kana as she shook her head to clear her focus. One matter at a time!
"Child... your name, how-" a deep and serene tone colored the start of her words, but one that also contained veiled undertones. Imploring, an arm outstretched as if beseeching, Mito appeared almost desperate for Kana to speak, peering intensely at the girl's impassive expression, "No, ...how are you Known?"
That phrasing... was there something implied in it that Kana was missing?
Hearing that question, Tsunade had also quirked an eyebrow quizzically, which Kana noticed.
In turn, she glanced up at Tsunade again, avoiding the elder's gaze. However, when Kana looked away, Mito flinched as if stricken.
Thoroughly bemused, Kana tried to recover her sensibilities and focus on answering the elder's question first.
Was this some kind of riddle or code? What was the meaning behind asking such a thing, in such a way? Moreover, would not Tsunade's previous messages have included her identity as 'Kana'?
Surely, right?
Or maybe... not?
But most of all... if Mito was asking her name... her true name, that was... well that was partly why Kana had come here in the first place.
All of this, it was more than just a profoundly troubling question, given the nature of Kana's entire recent past.
Her past...
A disappointment grew preemptively in her heart. Was even coming all the way here not going to reveal the truth she craved?
[How are you Known?]
The words echoed in her mind, and only a single sullen phrase came to mind, from somewhere in the depths of her heart:
[Nobody alive 'Knows' me.]
That thought brought an old and familiar pain with it, so she was reluctant to say it.
Instead, Kana gave the only other answer that came to mind, hesitantly and partially directed towards Tsunade, she muttered
". . . Kana2Written: [花那 ], in this form pronounced "Kana". [花那] interpreted as: 花 "flower" , 那 "garden"
If you didn't already know, I am a massive nerd.
As a followup to the Chapter 3 explanation, Kana chose her name by picking an initial sound to match 'Ka' from her 'Kanzashi' (Hair pin/ ornament).
The 'Na' of 那, also comes inspired by the place she awoke memories in, the secret garden at Mt. Shumisen. . . ?"
"Mmmm...?" The old woman's expression faltered slightly, " 'Kana', an alias, a pseudonym3 Written: [仮名], still pronounced "Kana".
[仮名] and [花那] can be homonyms, meaning they can be pronounced the same.
However, 仮名 literally means 'Alias' or 'Pseudonym', which is technically what the name 'Kana' is for the girl, since she did not know her true name. It is her 'Alias', her 'Kana'.
Damn, I'd like to think I'm almost clever...
If you didn't already know, I am a massive nerd, so I couldn't resist leaving this in, since I included previous explanations. Essentially I planned to use this as a pun/wordplay since the very first chapter. Tougher than I thought., yes? Please, don't feel you need to hide from me. I would be remiss in every duty entrusted to me if... I did not even attempt to right these wrongs. Even if we have all failed you before, I have to know for sure... if I am able to... in some measure repay that debt..."
Debts? Duty? Wrongs? Failures? So much to ask...
A foreboding grew in Kana's heart, reminding her just how much she had to learn of her past. But now the opportunity had come, and so much contextual implication and confusion was obscuring the path forward. Setting her jaw, Kana pressed her teeth into her lips, wrestling her focus on getting proper answers, one at a time. One at a time!
She released a long and slow breath, one she had not realized she was even holding, before her expression focused and her eyes hovered to meet Mito's. Tentatively, she chose a question that lingered in her mind, voicing it with a small whisper,
"Right the wrongs?"
Mito almost seemed to wince, "No! No, I-I didn't mean to imply-" she recovered her composure slightly, "...I am aware of what I'm asking... and there is no way I could ever make this right, or compensate you for all of this-"
Kana and Tsunade held a confused silence as Mito's pressing, earnest eyes shifted back and forth between them. Kana trying to restrain her curiosity from exploding with impatience, Tsunade seemingly stunned by Mito's behavior.
"I-it couldn't be, that she does not even know? From your report, it sounded as if-"
Kana, again, barely reacted, tilting her gaze between the other two in the room. Clearly they had communicated about her, but something seemed amiss...
Mito's hands slowly covered her lips, an inexpressibly agonized look came over her face as she turned a wavering glance towards Tsunade.
"Tsuna... your messages.... did I perhaps attribute undue merit where I should have scolded carelessness?" The old woman's tone once again held a calmness to it, yet it was also almost sickeningly sweet how she emphasized the word 'undue'.
"Wha-?" Tsunade, for her part, blushed and looked taken aback, "I- what?"
That seemed to be all the answer Mito needed, as the woman let out a labored sigh,
"And here I thought you had finally learned... that you had grasped the more clandestine side of politics. To think that you would be so cautious of interception, discreetly testing my staff for traitors while simultaneously probing for if I had been incapacitated. A solid play in the games of intrigue, which coming from you gave me so much hope." She said, approving and proud, only for her tone to shift to one of rue and exasperation,
"But no, I should have known. You probably did not even stop to think... that writing about 'Kana' that way4Tsunade never asked Kana how she spelled her name, 'Kana' [花那, "Flower, garden" ], instead just writing it as the first word 'Kana' [ 仮名 ,"Alias"] that came to her mind. She didn't even think about the double meaning due to being preoccupied. And so Mito made several, potentially critical misunderstandings. might cause misunderstandings?"
Kana's reserved expression gave way just a little to shock. Her lips gaped just a tiny fraction, in disbelief, as Tsunade seemed to grow more and more miserable the longer Mito continued.
The Sannin only managed a small protest,
"W-wait, Grandmother, we hadn't gotten a chance to talk about that ye-" before she was interrupted,
"-A chance? To send such a volatile letter to me, implying countless painful truths, without a followup and more detailed report even after sending Dan to talk?! I agonized over and over...! And the selfishness I indulged in... the guilt, the favor I begged from poor Kushina, the plans I put at risk... the false hopes, the relief I felt — and she did not even... know enough to find fault with me?!"
The jutsu formulas on Mito's chest glowed softly as the elder's distress leaked more and more into her voice. Kana was fascinated by the change, but at the same time could not spare her focus to it. With the elderly woman clasping her hands to the sides of her head as she was, Kana felt the grey streaks in Mito's deep maroon hair made her look old and fragile. Somehow, that itself was saddening.
A pointed and lithe chakra presence leaked into the room from the woman, pulling Kana's attention as it flowed around behind her towards the doorway. Sharp and directed, the chakra plunged into a something on a shelf by said doorway.
Out the periphery of her vision, Kana caught sight of a familiar color. An azure gem rested on a shelf near the doorway, glowing faintly with the same sort of hazy amethyst light as Kana's own chakra. Such a thing... she couldn't help but feel stunned even worse than when her senses were overstimulated.
The next moment, Kana felt another energy release into the room and fill it with a mix of violet, azure, and amethyst light. Light and colors both familiar and heart-wrenching. Deep and personal. As she whirled around to face the source, Kana felt her heart ache terribly and her hairclasp vibrate behind her head in response. Bright green light soon joined the other colors illuminating the room.
Her knees weak and feeling lightheaded, Kana began to wobble, only for Tsunade to steady her with an outstretched arm,
"Grandmother, what is this, and t-the clan relic?! You already know then, so just who is she?" Kana was too entranced by the feelings flooding her heart and mind to worry over the concern in Tsunade's voice.
"Tsunade... there is only one person she could possibly be. Bearing that relic, with the blood of both Senju and Uzumaki. A relic suitable for her and her family alone! Someone whose presence here is nigh impossible!"
With the rising tension in her voice, Mito flooded the room with an outburst of chakra as she wailed,
"My mother's family heirloom, gifted personally by me to my cherished student.
Masumi's child, Tsuna!
She even shares its original owner's name! Your cousin, and namesake of my own mother — Uzumaki Sumika!5For lore coherence:
[うずまき 澄花] - " Uzumaki" "Sumika"
[澄花] "Sumika" shares the same character "花" with [花那] "Kana"
The "End" of "Sumika" shares the same "Beginning" as "Kana" : {澄-[花]-那}
It is the flowers of "花" from the hairclasp and the gardens at Mt. Shumisen that connect the two names.
I thought was a poetic way of expressing that...
But then again, I'm no poet. So enough of that
"
