NOVEL NEXT 4: Insight of a Mirror
To her utmost relief, Kana almost immediately found that which she was eagerly looking for.
Answers?! Well, to the question of clothing maybe.
As the chamber was unveiled in front of her, Kana could see that within was a wide hall with a few arched alcoves branching off of it. Compared to the door and gardens behind her though, the area was rather disappointingly bland. The construction was almost exclusively time-worn carved stone; the furniture was mostly modest and musty wood.
It was honestly kind of pitiful. Her mental evaluation of this Shinigon character, already abysmally low, somehow dropped a few notches further.
This hall seemed to serve as a living space, as one of the first items she laid eyes upon was a wardrobe, accompanied by various other dull and worn bedroom furniture. It may be more accurate to say that her eyes sought out a wardrobe First. Thing.
Other items were dutifully ignored for now, in favor of her prime objective.
Needless to say, Kana approached the wardrobe first.
She extracted its contents in one big pile for further inspection, releasing a sizable cloud of dust in the process. They may be dusty, but at least they were clothes.
Someone who lived in an unkempt mess like this had almost killed her. Some heretofore unexpressed part of herself lamented at the thought.
Laying her findings out on the nearby bed, Kana was again somewhat disappointed. She didn't know what she expected. There seemed to be two main categories: clothes for an adult man (presumably the Shinigon), which were much too large for Kana, and an eclectic mix of much much older clothing in various sizes. She supposed it would have been too much to hope for children's clothes to be stored here.
The older clothing was more ragged and dusty, and obviously not the same fit as the newer clothes, but apparently the Shinigon couldn't be bothered~ to remove it from the wardrobe.
Kana glanced around again, noticing that she had uncovered a inlaid wall-length mirror on the wardrobe's interior when she had emptied it. After wiping away the dust from the mirror with a pair of black trousers not much better than rags, she caught the first clear sight of herself since the ritual.
She saw her own muted surprise reflected back at her. She was much taller—that she knew—and looked somewhat older than she remembered. But! The difference could have been as much as 25 cm, leaving her stature at around 140cm! That much growth took years! The pool of questions in Kana's mind deepened.
Despite the change, she felt completely at home in her body. The height difference was so natural that she had hardly even noticed until now. Could this have been a product of the ritual? She found it hard to believe that several years had passed, let alone that she had survived those years without much memory.
Kana inspected her reflection again. Her face was a slightly more angular and pronounced version of itself from before the ritual. It was still distinctly childlike, but her cheekbones and jawline were more prominent. Her rich1Hi, Unnecessarily Picky Word-nerd here. Should have been my Username.
I have a complicated relationship with this word 'rich'
Sometimes I still can't find a better word. For assistance with imagination, I mean to use 'rich' in its definition as:
"vivid and deep in color" and "full and mellow in tone and quality". Darker shaded, but highly Saturated with color
The dichotomy of this with 'radiant''s multifaceted definition is intentional, to try and depict the effect of lensing/refraction on the iris and its layers, but not take a literal 5 sentence paragraph to do that.
Try looking at your own eye really close in the mirror some time, and with different light angles, to see kind of what I mean? Anyway, I felt unnaturally and excessively compelled to write this. I apologize.
- Word-nerd signing off
She hadn't ever evaluated herself like this, so the experience was somewhat bemusing. Furthermore, her hair had also... changed. Simply put, it was in a much healthier-looking condition. It also seemed to have naturally grown along with her body for it to still reach her lower mid-back even after her height had increased so much. But it also seemed much more vibrant, heartier.
Kana supposed she would have to attribute it all to both time and the ritual.
Whereas she had previously just considered her hair to be 'red' and thought no deeper on the matter, she now felt the word was lacking. As it was now, it was just too captivating.
Her hair was a vibrant and deep maroon, and gazing into it felt like peering into the depths of some unfathomable forest. Light and shadow glittered and hid around every strand or segment to cast a wondrous illusion of unending depth, further exuding a luster and texture like some cross between velvet and silk—perhaps a result of her recent bathing.
She ran a hand through it, caressing it multiple times as it slid easily through her fingers. Doing so was very relaxing, and she remembered this sensation from when she had first washed it clean in the hotspring. The stroking also soon exposed a subtle and stunning sort of shading aspect: a gradient of deeper and richer hues that approached the colors of her eyes towards her hair's underlayers and near its roots.
The feeling was... more comforting than even her signet clasp. A caressing hand could be completely lost, enveloped within the lush and gentle cascades that swathed her face and then embraced her figure all the way to her waist. It was definitely a better feel than she remembered.
Previously she had considered it to be a simple feature of her appearance, but now a pride stirred within Kana.
She was proud of her hair. She liked how it looked and felt. Kana felt a certain sense of... self-esteem blooming in her mind, which had been a foreign concept during her captivity. She just never seemed to consider her appearance much during her isolation.
Having survived this far, after being kept in isolation so long, surely it was only natural to want to look and feel her best going forward? Turning over a new leaf, as it was said.
Well, privately anyway. There were other matters to consider regarding appearance. Caution, stealth, weapons, armor, tactics, jutsu... all sorts of considerations sprang to her mind. Appearance and physical traits could factor in in any number of ways, so it was probably best to be pragmatic. Casual dress could wait until there was actually room in her life to be casual. She absentmindedly wondered when, or even if such a day would arrive. What could it even look like? Was that a part of the happiness and freedom she sought?
Kana returned from her thoughts as her attention shifted to the clothes on the bed next to her. At the moment, she would take what she could get.
She held up some of the dusty garments against herself and viewed them in the mirror, gauging sizes and fits. Her body really had grown, from androgynously child-like from before the ritual to more like that of an early-adolescent girl now. Even if she had her torn old gray prisoner's tunic, there was no way it would fit her.
Well, it could hardly be said to be the worst of her worries. She felt fine and her body wasn't impeding her in any way, so she supposed that's just how it was now. It would at least make some of these clothes a more likely fit.
After sorting through the available options, she selected a faded-gray and slightly oversized kimono-style blouse, tied tightly at the waist with a thin black sash. A pair of black shin-length trousers managed to reach all the way to her ankles, so they sufficed as pants. They were ultimately chosen for the toughened leather that reinforced the shins, knees, and side-lining. Kana still had to roll up the cuffs a bit so that they didn't scuff on the ground though. It wasn't ideal, nor even very comfortable, but the garments were sorely needed in her current near-possessionless state.
Over it all, Kana wore a long light gray robe with green lining and metal fasteners down its front, though the bottom one was broken. The robe was probably meant to be knee-length, but still reached her ankles. The shoulders were too broad as well, making her seem slightly lost in the robe with the way it drooped.
There were other cloaks and robes that fit slightly better, but Kana selected the one she wore because it also had a cowl. In addition to protection from the elements, the hood would help conceal her rather conspicuous hair.
She loved her hair because it stood out, after all, but that would be counter-intuitive if she wanted to avoid trouble. Dull, worn-out gray clothes were much more likely to be overlooked, ignored, or forgotten. Or at least that's what she told herself. It felt right, though she wasn't sure what the source of that feeling was.
While she thought of it, she still had one more article to add the outfit. It was previously her only possession, but Kana figured that had changed now. She could refer to it as her "first possession" though, that still sounded suitably sentimental.
Chuckling internally at the trivial thoughts, Kana gathered a large portion of her hair and affixed the ornament near the base of her head and top of her neck to form a loose half-up style. She allowed her bangs and more forward-flowing strands to part near the center of her forehead and converge into two sizable tresses that cradled her cheeks and fell forward against her shoulders. She tucked those tresses behind her ears for now to keep them out of her face or from blocking her peripherals, but their ends still came to rest against her collarbone.
Kana checked her reflection again, this time facing her back at an angle to the mirror, satisfied with the glimmer of the signet against the brilliant colors of her hair as it appeared in her peripheral vision. The image conjured fond feelings within her, the happiness of feeling at home with oneself despite modest means. She allowed herself to take joy in the simple things she had largely lacked all her life.
However, the ornament's signet faced outward, so if she didn't want it to be seen, she figured she ought to wear her hood up wherever she went. The alternative was to simply remove the hair clasp, but Kana felt a deep desire to wear it, even if it was concealed. For now at least, she could wear it openly. There was no one around to hide it from.
Allowing others to see it would be a tough consideration to ponder though. After all, Kana did not know what the signet symbol meant, or if it meant anything at all. The act of wearing it openly would increase the chances that she would encounter someone who knew of the symbol, but that itself posed dangers. If, for example, it signified an allegiance, then Kana might get caught up in some conflict she knew nothing about2If you're confused about the reasoning here, imagine it like if the symbol was a swastika or hammer and sickle in our world. Going around wearing a pendant with such a thing in certain parts of the world while ignorant of its meaning is going to bring a hell of a lot of trouble your way. Avoidable trouble. Kana is cautious enough to suspect that displaying a symbol whose meaning she does not know might invite a lot of hassle. Even if it's an extreme case..
Unless she could be sure that whatever random person saw it would not react with hostility upon seeing it, it was probably best to avoid displaying such unique iconography to passing strangers. That didn't mean she wouldn't wear it though. Whatever else it meant, it meant a lot to her.
Perhaps she was overthinking again. Still, the simple fact that allowing the signet to show pretty much necessitated showing her rather memorable hair around... was enough dissuasion for now.
Regardless, she had obtained some necessary articles of clothing, so that was one objective accomplished. However, there was still the matter of footwear...
The whole selection of clothes contained no shoes. Though even if they had, Kana suspected they would have been horribly oversized. Oversized clothes were one thing—she might even grow into them more after all—but ill-fitting shoes would only hurt her feet and hamper her movement. Or... that's what Kana figured was the case. She couldn't recall actually ever testing that. Still, for now she would have to go barefoot. At least the feeling of draftiness that had plagued her would only reach her feet now.
Feeling eminently more confident to deal with the outside world and her ever-growing list of other unpleasant matters, Kana left the remaining laid out selection of clothes as it was and turned her attention to the rest of the hall and the side rooms around.
Aside from what she'd done with the clothes in the main room, the place was even more of a disorderly mess! A quick peek into each of the four alcoved doorways was enough to ascertain that she had quite the task head of her. Documents, artifacts, ruined furniture, and more lay strewn about and on top of each other in seemingly arbitrary piles.
Kana huffed a mild and disdaining breath through her nose, picked the nearest alcove, and began the tedious process of rummaging.