Legend 3: The Coffee of Volcatia Scipio, Stronge—Eh.
It was early.
Really fucking early.
It was really fucking early, and Volcatia was making coffee.
Just one of those things that had to be done early.
Obviously it was.
Right now she was concentrating like she always did when she made coffee.
This was coffee she'd learned how to make from an archmage. It wasn't coffee she should've been able to make since she didn't know how to use magic, but she wouldn't lose to something like that.
She couldn't lose.
Not trying to brag, that's just the way things were.
How much easier would it be to make this shit if she could use magic though?
Maybe she wouldn't have to spend so much time on it?
Eh.
She'd watched it be conjured by magic enough times to know that it still took a while.
That was also just the way things were.
And also: fuck magic.
She added more coffee molecules from her giant bag of beans into the barrel of water and coffee, roasting them in the process.
Chemical shit.
Yeah, this was what Electron Knowledge was good for.
This and deconstructing shit.
Sort of tedious though.
She'd been at it for a while now this time.
How long had it been?
She again considered wearing an horologium.
Nah.
She wasn't about to start being confined by time.
She was really fast now anyway.
She was the fastest.
Making coffee was still slow.
It also took her a while to get into her rhythm for it.
That was why she'd had this Smart idea to make an entire barrel this time.
She imagined if someone was nearby watching her work, it would look like the barrel was exploding with coffee flavor from how fast she was adding it.
Sort of interesting to think about.
Mm.
Maybe…
Yeah, how was Aquila doing anyway?
Maybe she needed some coffee.
That was three people she was going to bring coffee to.
Obviously there was a fourth, but she wanted to see Ir'alith's reaction when she tasted the coffee.
If Volcatia was lucky, she imagined she'd be able to persuade her friend into doing her human-looking thing and wearing that dress.
Those legs!
She sighed.
They were just too fucking good.
She'd sort of forgotten how good they were while they were apart, but now…
They were going to hang out tomorrow.
She had plans today, and she was interested in them, but now…
She'd started thinking about Ir'alith's legs again, and she knew from experience how hard it was going to be to stop.
She already knew how they felt.
She knew how every spot felt.
But only from while they were fighting.
She'd blocked a lot of kicks.
Those times were all with legs that had scales though.
She still didn't know how they were without scales.
Scales were great.
She'd been unsure at first, seeing how they moved and glittered in the light, thinking that they might be rough, like hairy legs.
Hairy legs were awful.
She didn't care who it was, if someone wanted to claim they had great legs, they better shave those fucking things clean.
But back to the scales now, which weren't awful.
She knew there were lots of different types of scales, but these ones were good.
Not great.
Good.
She'd decided they were like a tight pair of leggings made of an interesting texture.
Scales were good because they moved.
They weren't particularly sharp or rough, and instead each one was separately smooth.
But they were small, and they moved.
This meant it was, the more she thought about it, like touching the same spot many different times.
Interesting.
She still preferred skin.
Obviously she would.
She was human, and it was really fucking human to want legs with skin instead of scales.
But scales were—
Liquid coffee began sloshing over the side of the barrel as it was displaced by more coffee molecules or whatever the fuck was going on, and she managed to free herself from thinking about Ir'alith's legs in time to catch the overflow in a cup.
She decided to be slower, and then she was.
The room was silent save for the faint, soft sound of breathing coming from beyond a nearby doorway.
She grinned.
This was going to be a great day.
She just had to deliver this coffee, and then she could get started with it.
She'd gotten too fucking distracted yesterday, but today was going to be different.
Carl had promised to hang out, and they were going to do exactly that.
Maybe they'd try throwing cars across the ocean this time.
Eh.
Throwing cars had been fun once, she vaguely remembered, but she'd already done it.
She decanted more coffee into the cup and moved, setting it on the bedside table next to a sleeping human.
The first delivery was complete.
She moved back to her barrel, even though it was just in the next room.
Next cup.
She moved again.
"Scipio, for the last time, this is too early," Aquila said from her bed, where she was reading some paper or another. "And you're supposed to knock!"
"Just pretend I'm not even here," Volcatia whispered. She walked soundlessly over to the side of the bed and shoved a stack of papers off the nearby table.
"Scipio…" Aquila said like she was about to become upset.
"Drink this, and have a great day," Volcatia said, already more than halfway into imagining how great her own day was going to be.
Aquila grumbled, but she picked up the mug and took a sip.
Volcatia moved back to her coffee barrel again.
She could've put it into her Inventory.
It was fine where it was though.
She wanted the scent to linger.
It was a gift.
Sort of.
She was still figuring that out.
She filled the third mug and moved again.
The annoying thing about moving was that she needed to have been somewhere already before she could be there again.
It was obvious, but it was still annoying.
She hadn't been where she was going yet, so she had to get there before she could be there.
So fucking annoying.
Smart people shit.
She strolled off the side of the slanted roof and started down the wall, already too fast for anyone to see.
Anyone except maybe her friend, Ir'alith, who was also really fucking fast.
And had legs that—
Volcatia stopped herself.
She couldn't start thinking about her friend again or she'd get distracted.
But what would scales feel like if they were wrapped around her middle?
She forced her mind away from the distracting thought.
Too dangerous.
Finally, she reached the place.
Obviously she could sense where her Side Character was.
She was the Main Character, after all.
She tapped the window with her shoe-covered foot, and the glass shattered into lots of pieces. The room was empty, but that was obvious.
Fucking Carl.
She dropped into the room, drank the cup of coffee, then stopped watching.
She moved into the room and looked around.
Carl was asleep. He was laying diagonally across the bed, his head on one pillow, one hand clasping another pillow, a pillow under his feet, and his other hand and arm wrapped around another pillow.
It was a lot of pillows.
But the important thing was that he was asleep.
She sighed.
Fuck.
They were supposed to hang out!
Urgh.
Obviously if she woke him up, that wasn't something a good friend would do.
Volcatia was his best friend, so she couldn't do that.
But what kind of friend would sleep like this when they were supposed to be hanging out?
Yeah, maybe she'd said they were going to hang out yesterday.
Maybe she was a little late.
Fine.
Okay.
She could admit that much.
But now she was here, wasn't she?
And he was just sleeping?
Still?
Even right now?
How long was he going to sleep for?
Her eyes widened.
Would he sleep all day?!
Then she'd be two whole days late for their hanging out!
That was really fucking late!
She forced herself to relax.
This was Carl.
There was no way he'd sleep all day.
He was always being a father, and fathers didn't sleep all day.
Yeah, it had taken a while, but Volcatia had finally become smart.
Not Smart, obviously.
She knew that was impossible.
Things were different now than they had been, but she could still understand that much.
This was more than enough.
She sighed.
Fucking Carl.
Only he'd sleep like this when they could be hanging out.
Wait…
She leaned forward and squinted.
Was that…
Nah.
She thought she'd spotted Subodiosa under one of the pillows, but it was just a shadow.
Just as well.
Fucking dungeon core was too annoying.
Great name though.
Volcatia was probably one of the best when it came to naming.
Okay.
Well.
She set the cup of coffee down on a table.
It was great how there were tables everywhere.
She had some in her Inventory just in case, but she hadn't needed to use any of them yet today.
She had lots of things in her Inventory now.
She'd thought having a building had been stupid once, but then she'd needed it.
Now she was prepared.
She moved back to her barrel of coffee some distance above her sleeping friend and stood next to it on the tiled floor, tapping her chin with two fingers.
What to do…
"Volcatia?" came a worried call.
She sighed.
Okay.
Just for a little while.
She wasn't going to get distracted again like she had yesterday.
Definitely not.
No fucking chance.
Completely impossible.
This was just wasting a little time.
The Main Character had important shit to do, after all.