carl@fire

"Alright, everyone here?" Capeman called, which was the cue Bobby had been waiting for to turn the volume of the raid channel back up. "Let's get buffed again."

And so began the prep for the next attempt, which was probably gonna suck too. Since Bobby didn't have to do anything to get ready, having double checked that she had ample time left on her raid buffs, she let her mind wander a little while Jen and Chris argued on the private channel about whether he would ever get a girlfriend.

Invariably, her thoughts turned back to Vol. In particular, she thought about dinner from the previous night.

It was really good, but how did it get there?

Vol said she brought it, but she'd just been in the den playing games the whole time. She didn't get up even once. But if she didn't bring everything, how'd it get there?

And what was with that soda anyway? It was pretty fun, so Bobby tried to look it up online after dinner, but she couldn't find anything about it! How was that even possible?

Nobody else seemed like they noticed, but then, nobody else had been around when the food got to the table. Even Mom hadn't questioned it, and Mom was always questioning stuff when Dad didn't.

"Let's get the pull going. Bob, you ready?" Capeman asked, bringing her back to the raid.

"Yeah, let's go," Bobby said, acknowledging being called by Bob, which was short for BobTheGreatest, which was a name she still thought was kinda funny. She got ready to activate her Rush skill, saying a silent prayer to the Raid Gods like Dad had always said to, and focused on the ogre-like boss patrolling through the courtyard that she was probably about to die to again.

"Good luck!" Mina cheered, just like she'd done before every attempt.

"Thanks, Mina," said Monica.

Abruptly, there was a flash of purple light in front of her. It sparkled and twisted in the air, almost like lightning, and then a ring of purple opened in space with an ornate hallway on the other side.

"What the fuck's that?" Shiny said.

"Is this… She's through here?" someone called.

Then Dad peeked around the side of the purple ring.

Bobby stared. "Dad?" she exclaimed. He looked a little younger maybe, and somehow his character looked realer, but it was definitely him!

"Hey, pumpkin," Dad said as he walked through the portal, wearing a set of noob-looking clothes without even any boots. "You girls having fun on your raid?" He patted her on her helmet.

"Mister Weathers?" Jen said like she didn't believe what she was seeing.

"What… Is this a secret?" asked BlamBlam, kicking off a flood of people all talking at once on the raid channel.

"I said it would not be difficult," said a new voice that sounded like it belonged in a movie. A new person stepped through the purple ring. She had blue scales all over, big horns coming out of the sides of her forehead, clawed hands and feet, and a tail with a sharp-looking point that waved around behind her.

"Bobby, why's your dad here?" Monica asked on the private channel. "And who's that?"

"How is your dad here?" Zane asked. "This place is instanced, and they're not in our group."

"You were right," Dad said. He looked over Bobby's head, still super tall even compared to her character's height. "Got a pretty good-sized raid going here, huh. You remember to thank the raid gods?"

"Yeah?" Bobby said.

A fireball shot out and struck him in the face, and she turned to glare at Chris.

"Oops," he said, just before a bolt of purple lightning crackled down and turned him into a corpse.

"What the fuck!" Chris shouted.

"Whoa, Ir'alith, you can't just go killing Bobby's raid members," Dad said, turning to give his companion a Dad Look.

"He attacked you. I did not expect him to be so weak," said…

Bobby slowly turned back to look at the scaled woman.

Whose name was Ir'alith.

"Did he just say Ir'alith?" Zane asked quietly.

"Oh, you've met with Carl and Ir'alith?" Mina asked. "I was unsure whether I'd comprehended this game of yours, but please convey my warmest regards."

This was really weird. Definitely way weirder than anything Vol had done.

"She looks just like her," Monica said.

"Sorry about that, pumpkin," Dad said, turning back to look down at her with his expression set in a way that she recognized. "Didn't mean to get in the way. Who's, uh, the head raid guy here?"

"I'm the raid leader?" Capeman said like he wasn't sure if he was still in charge.

Dad walked over to him and held a hand out. "I'm Bo—Bob's dad. Nice to meet you."

"Dad," Bobby called at last, having fully realized that this was about to become a Dad Situation.

"Uh…" Capeman stuck his hand out, and it was immediately engulfed.

"Better be a really good raid leader," Dad said, frowning down at the elf mage as he moved their clasped hands up and down.

"What—Why's my health going down?!" Capeman shouted.

"Cool, cool, cool," Dad said, letting go and looking around the courtyard. "Huh. Looks kinda like that gladiator city."

"Yes, it does resemble Onyxfell," Ir'alith said.

"Bobby, what's going on?" asked Jen.

"Anyway, I gotta get back to the grind," Dad said. "Lot of high level stuff going on."

"I would provide a gift to your daughter," Ir'alith said, her gaze fixing on Bobby.

"W-what?" Bobby said. Something about her stare felt creepy.

"You seek passage through this place?" Ir'alith asked, stepping away from the purple ring, which Bobby now recognized was a portal to somewhere, though it looked way clearer than any of the portals she'd seen.

"Yeah?" Bobby said. "We're…trying to finish the whole thing today…" she said, trying to figure out what to do in such a weird situation. "So we've got that boss," she pointed to the Sword Shatterer, "and then there's the last one in the center past there," she pointed again.

"I understand," Ir'alith said.

"I'm getting weirded the fuck out right now," Zane said.

"She's kinda hot though?" Chris said. "Right? Someone tell me it's not just me."

"Perhaps…" Ir'alith's tail bounced around on the ground for a moment. "Do you require your surroundings to be left intact?"

"Surroundings?" Bobby said. "Like walls and stuff?"

"Yes."

"Well, I guess not, but…" Bobby stared.

Midway through talking, a vision-encompassing wall of purple light flared into existence for several seconds. When it dissipated, and when the spots in her eyes faded, she saw that the courtyard was gone and so was everything for as far as she could see. Nothing remained except for the stone that the ground was made of.

The raid channel had fallen completely silent, and so had the private one.

"That's quite and incredible display of magical might," Mina said after a couple seconds.

"We're gonna have to…" Dad started to talk, but then he stopped himself. "I mean, it's cool of you to help 'em out like that, but you gotta let kids do stuff on their own."

"I apologize, Carl," said Ir'alith.

"Look, it's definitely her," Zane whispered on the private channel. "Check this out."

An image popped up in the overlay, cut out of one of New Era's trailers for its newest expansion. Ir'alith was very clearly depicted in it, though her scales and eyes were red in the image, which also included the subtitle "New final boss: Ir'alith, the Mad Demon God".

"Well, not a big deal," Dad said. He rubbed his beard. "Anyway, I'm gonna skedaddle."

Bobby groaned.

"See you in a bit, pumpkin. I'll be recalling soon," he continued, walking back through the portal.

"I have enjoyed our meeting, Bobby," said Ir'alith, inclining her head a little. "May your raid be fruitful." She walked through the portal, and it vanished.

"Having a dad who works for Fire is so awesome," Jen said.

Then loot erupted from the ground nearby.