NOVEL NEXT Chapter 22: An Intimate Discussion
Summary: Discussion a relationship, as well as the Jedi Code...
Warning! Chapaters 21-23 were all posted back-to-back! Make sure you don't miss any of them!
Lemon Warning! This chapter contains a short lemon! It is clearly marked with -Lemon Starts Here- and -Lemon Ends Here- so that those not interested in such things can easily skip it!
Chapter 22: An Intimate Discussion
The day had been a long one. Celeste Morne had woken up eventually, but she'd only been briefly introduced before Fay had whisked her off to talk to Ood Bnar. Presumably, Fay intended to use the fact that someone from her own time was there and experiencing a similar out-of-time situation as a means to help her. Though that was only Izuku's best guess. He was not and most likely never would be a psychologist or equivalent. He had spent his own day mostly with Mei, learning what little she could tell him about home and slowly introducing her to her new reality. She had been alternatively excited by everything and frustrated by the language barrier. Though he had at least made a start in transferring bits of Basic to her.
That, unfortunately, wasn't as straightforward a process as copying a language from someone else to himself. His Quirk had wired his own brain to handle those sorts of transfers, while he was generally just copying information from the 'donor' brain, so it wasn't particularly intense for him. Adding new information to a brain that wasn't pre-wired for psychically transferred information was an entirely different kettle of fish. He had, through a lot of very careful experimentation and quite a bit of literature from other telepaths, long since figured out how to transfer either small amounts of information quickly…or broad amounts of information subconsciously.
A language was too much to provide consciously, but he could build up the subconscious knowledge of it for Mei over the course of a week or two. It wouldn't teach her the language directly, but it would massively accelerate her ability to learn it the natural way. Given how intelligent she was, the only real difficulty would be keeping her on task, since she tended to hate studying language and art materials. Both 'made no logical sense' to her and thus tended to frustrate her highly-structured mind. Still, they weren't in a hurry. He suspected they'd be here for at least several more days processing, and deciding what to do about, all the events that had happened over the last few days. And it was several more days beyond that back through hyperspace before they could reach basically anywhere else. So he could ease Mei into it, with a powerful carrot to entice her to study with in the form of an entire Galaxy of advanced technology for her to learn about…
None of which was relevant to him right at the moment, as Aayla had joined him in his cabin for the first time in several nights. Both of them had missed the closeness, but Aayla had been in obvious turmoil with the return of her memories, and the new absence of her chastity belt had left a feeling of expectation between them. Both of them were aware what the next logical step of the collision-course of intimacy they had been on was. Yet, after therapy-time-with-Master-Fay, they were also aware that it had been something of a collision-course. Worse, it was obvious there had been some sort of other shoe hanging over Aayla's mind from the moment her memories had returned, and she'd needed time to sort it all out.
Now, Izuku sensed through their bond that she had done so. Or, at least, that she was a major part of the way there. Which meant his already long and emotionally fraught day was about to get a bit longer. Aayla cocked her head as he sighed, then grinned and shook hers.
"Nope. No heavy thoughts. We need to talk, but it can wait until morning. For now, I just want to curl up and sleep. And your arms are comfy."
Izuku blinked, then grinned back and shifted away from the edge of the master bed, letting Aayla slip in next to him. She was wearing a whole lot of not much, just a thin nightie and panties. But, as tempting as the sight and feel of her was, he was just as exhausted as he could tell she was. Pushing aside the mild arousal that was stirring anyway, he wrapped himself around her and they both swiftly drifted off to sleep…
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-Lemon Starts Here-
Izuku woke to a half-familiar and immensely pleasant sensation. It took his fuzzy mind a moment to piece what was happening together. Though it was helped along a few seconds after he began to wake, as Aayla sensed he was stirring and abruptly went from swirling her tongue teasingly around the glans of his cock to rapidly descending down his shaft, burying his entire cock in her throat. That certainly woke him up fully as his hips instinctively jerked upwards and his hands reached for her lekku. She didn't try to stop him, simply humming around him as she rode his initial bucking. Knowing how sensitive her head tails were, he managed to keep his grip gentle even as she started to move.
Brain still scrambled, he let her set the pace at first, some part of his mind marveling at how much better she'd gotten at this since her first uncertain attempts. She'd repaid several of her own orgasms in the last month with blowjobs, and he was pretty sure it was cheating that she'd quickly figured out how to suppress her gag reflex with the Force. Not that he was about to complain, particularly as his brain started sorting itself out and he used his grip on her lekku to start altering the pace. Aayla was always amazingly responsive to that, his controlling her with her lekku seeming to be some sort of turn on for her, and the humming around his cock turned to moans as he did so.
Given that the two of them had been sleeping apart since arriving on planet, and Izuku had been caught off guard by her waking him this way, it was no surprise that he didn't last long. Just a few minutes into the blowjob, he grunted, not bothering to warn her as she'd long since decided she sort of liked his taste. His hips pumped by instinct one more time, burying his cock completely down her throat as he fired off several thick ropes of built-up-cum. For a moment, he held her there as he twitched, then he let her go. She pulled off him with a light gasp, then grinned and leaned back in to clean him up with her tongue, causing his cock to twitch half to life again.
-Lemon Ends Here-
Sadly, she sighed a moment later and crawled up his body. She passed him completely, rather than stop to rest, and gently tugged him up. He obeyed her nonverbal request and scooted toward the wall, propping himself up against it where bed met bulkhead. She settled in beside him, her smaller body nestling into his as he put an arm over her in a half hug. For a long few moments, they simply sat in silence. Then he nudged her a bit, waggling his eyebrows down at her suggestively.
"Don't you want me to return the favor?"
She grinned for a moment, then sighed and shook her head. She even reached down to tuck his half-hard cock back into his boxers.
"Not just yet. I couldn't resist when I woke up with that pressed into my ass. But we really should talk first, about us."
He nodded, remembering her comment the night before that they needed to talk, but that it could wait until morning. Normally, he might have been anxious about that. But given he was still mellow from the extremely pleasant awakening, not to mention reassured by what it probably indicated, he was surprisingly calm about those usually much-dreaded words.
"I could tell something was bothering you, after your memories came back. Even before, when they were only back in bits and pieces. Tell me about it?"
Aayla rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, letting out another sigh as she began to speak. Slowly, at first, but getting more confident in her words as they spilled out of her.
"The way I was taught the Jedi way…discouraged relationships. Romantic ones most of all. In hindsight, I don't think anyone actually outright said they were forbidden, exactly, but it was very clear that our instructors thought they were a bad thing. That anything more than close friendship, and that mostly only with other Jedi at that, was a recipe for disaster and a fall to the Darkside."
Aayla's mouth quirked into a grin, out of place with the seriousness of the discussion.
"Master Fay says they are idiots and that thought process is one of many reasons why she doesn't bother to listen to the modern council. I remember Master Quinlin saying even less polite things about the idea, now that I remember him at all. But what really surprised me was when I asked Master Bnar about it, thinking he might have some insight. He was, well…appalled would be the best word, I guess."
Aayla paused, Izuku able to feel through their bond that she wasn't uncertain, so much as she was organizing her thoughts into something coherent.
"He was nearly furious, actually, at what he said was an outright corruption of the intent of the code. The classical code of the Jedi goes like this…"
"There is no emotion; there is peace."
"There is no ignorance; there is knowledge."
"There is no passion; there is serenity."
"There is no chaos; there is harmony."
"There is no death; there is the Force."
Izuku scrunched his face up as he processed that. What the heck was all of that supposed to mean? Aayla giggled at his expression and the feel of his consternation through the bond, but managed to wrestle her tone into something resembling seriousness again as she explained.
"The whole thing is symbolic of how Jedi are supposed to view the universe. The easiest line to understand is actually the second. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. That's not supposed to mean that one can know everything. It's symbolic of the idea that there is nothing that is truly unsolvable or unknowable. That, if you find yourself ignorant about something, you can and should seek out knowledge on the topic to solve the problem your ignorance is creating. If you have a broken starship and need it to be fixed, for example, you seek out the knowledge of how to fix it. That knowledge could be how to repair it yourself, or it could even just be where the local repair shop is. Multiple solutions, all found by seeking knowledge to fix ignorance. All in service of creating a solution where there was a problem."
Slowly, as he mulled that over, Izuku nodded. Privately, he thought they had simplified it down too much in their mantra. But, if the mantra was merely a representation of a complex concept, it made sense. And the concept itself was sound, particularly as only one component of a set. Frowning, he considered the other pieces in that light and was quickly able to make connections.
"So, the line about chaos and harmony doesn't deny that there is chaos. It implies that you can bring harmony to chaos by…application of the Force?"
Aayla waggled her hand, even as her lekku twitched against his chest in a way he'd taken to interpreting as amusement.
"That's on the right track. Though it doesn't need to be the Force explicitly. You can apply any skill. From diplomacy to slicing an arm off with a lightsaber. In the right situation, either of those could create harmony out of a chaotic situation."
Izuku's eye twitched at the idea of harmony through violence. But she wasn't exactly wrong. That had sort of been the entire point in the Hero Profession back home, really. Even if they usually hadn't gone so far as slicing arms off, in peacetime at least. His companion sighed, seeming more than a bit irritated as she brought up the next point.
"The problem, what made Master Bnar so furious, is that at some point the interpretation of the first and third lines shifted to become literal instead of symbolic. According to him, they were supposed to be read just as symbolically as the others. The first line is the worst to view literally, of course. There is obviously emotion, every living thing has emotions. Even plants, to a limited extent. The line was intended to indicate that emotions should not rule your actions. That, through being at peace and logically viewing situations, you can make better choices. In a moment of anger, someone may commit an act of violence that an instant later they would be horrified by. By seeking peace to level out each emotion, you can make the correct choice rather than a rash one."
Aayla sighed, playing with the end of her lekku for a moment as she sorted her thoughts again.
"The problem is that, at some point, someone decided that the first line, as well as the line about passion and serenity, meant that not feeling emotions or passions in the first place was the true ideal. The perfect implementation. That way, however, lies sociopathy for most species. Emotions are a good thing, a healthy thing, they just need to be balanced by, well, keeping a cool head when emotions are running high. Which is just a less fancy way of saying being at peace."
Izuku nodded slowly, able to understand both the original intent and how it had been misinterpreted. Still, he wasn't quite making the final leap.
"How does that discourage relationships, though? Because they are a source of emotions?"
Aayla huffed, clearly annoyed at the idea, but nodded.
"Specifically, most of the Jedi Order has bought into the belief that relationships encourage strong emotions that can go sour easily. Technically, they aren't wrong, per se. Some of the most violent emotions happen during break ups, rejections, or other such things. I like to think that how Master Fay put it to be is accurate, though. That such reactions only occur if the people in the relationship were already emotionally unstable. That there was already something wrong if someone's reaction to being rejected was to become homicidal. The strong reaction isn't because of the relationship. It's because the person themselves was not mentally healthy."
Izuku could certainly agree with that, but frowned as he realized something.
"Aayla, I'm not sure either of us count as mentally healthy."
His companion shot him a wry smile, even as she swatted his chest with one hand.
"That's why I was sorting all this out, dummy. I needed to get my head screwed on straight before we…figured out what we were to each other. You needed to, too. But Master Fay has been helping you with that, right?"
That caused Izuku to pause as he mulled it over. Aayla obviously was right they'd needed the space to think things through, and Fay had spent some time talking him through his relationships. Both past and present. Including the one he had with Aayla. One Fay had never criticized, come to think of it. Maybe he wasn't the absolutely perfect picture of mental health. Who was? But he didn't think he'd go off the deep end if Aayla left. It would hurt, a lot. But he wouldn't fly into a homicidal rage. Heck, he didn't think he'd have done that even before Fay helped him. He might have become depressed and spiraled a bit. But he'd already been through and overcome a lot in his life. It would have just been one more scar, not…
"Oh. That's why Bnar was so furious. If the Jedi just suppress or eliminate emotions, the first time they couldn't do so they wouldn't know how to manage it. Eliminating emotions cripples their chance to gain maturity by overcoming challenges and setbacks."
He could feel
Aayla's complete surprised through their link as she looked at him in consternation."How did you…? But that's…that's almost exactly what Master Bnar said! Though he was actually a bit, err…sharper in his word choice."
Izuku looked at her in disbelief. It was obvious! Why would…oh.
"Aayla, dear…that should be obvious to anyone that wasn't brainwashed to the idea that emotions were bad. Well, anyone with a half decent emotional intelligence at least. Which I suppose isn't exactly everyone."
"Oh."
Izuku's face twitched into a grin.
"Yes, 'oh.'"
There was a much longer pause this time as Aayla seemed to be reeling a bit, reevaluating her understanding of the universe slightly after the casual revelation that her 'big revelation' was actually common sense to regular people. Izuku's amusement probably didn't help, but he couldn't help but feel it. Well, amusement and a bit of aggravation that people calling themselves teachers had led their students so far astray that common sense wasn't part of their worldview any longer.
"So…does last night and this morning mean you came to a conclusion?"
Aayla blinked and shook herself, then rolled her eyes up at him.
"Of course it does, and I'm sure you already know that from our bond. But I suppose I should actually say it, communication is important according to Master Fay. Yes, Izu…I don't give a kark what the rest of the Order will say. You're one of the best things to ever happen to me and I'm not giving it up. Not unless you don't want to take the risk? The Jedi Order as a whole is unlikely to be happy about this, if they find out. The 'emotions are bad' thing is pretty pervasive throughout the order at this point…"
Izuku smirked down at her, squeezing her gently as he sent feelings of reassurance over their link.
"You already know the answer to that, too. But yes, for the sake of communication, I want to have a relationship with you. Not just your boobs, either. Even if they are a nice bonus."
Izuku oofed as Aayla elbowed him in the stomach. But she was grinning even as she did it.
"So…boyfriend and girlfriend? I think those are the right terms? I'm pretty sure we're too far into the emotional side just to be friends with benefits, but the holonet had a lot of really confusing information and it seems to vary wildly by species…"
Izuku laughed at the genuine confusion in her voice over the terms. He'd always assumed he would be the awkward one in any relationship he managed to find! He tilted his head down to kiss her on the forehead.
"Boyfriend and girlfriend is fine. Though, there is one more little detail to make sure we communicate about. I know it didn't seem to really bother you, but we hadn't had this conversation yet either. Mei tends to be…touchy feely? To a much greater degree than most people realize. She was a bit touch starved when I first met her, I think. Is that going to bother you?"
Aayla's wicked grin up at him was a surprising response. As was her hand sliding back down to his groin and lightly massaging him through his boxers.
"Not if it doesn't bother you that I think she'd hot and intend to be touchy feely with her right back~."
Izuku's brain stuttered and his cock stirred under her hand.
"Mmmhmm, like that idea, huh?"
Izuku made an incoherent noise or two, before finally getting out a confused 'what? Aayla stopped playing with his dick and giggled as his reaction.
"Apparently, I've figured out more about our bond than you have. I'm attracted to her because you are, on some level. Our bond is letting me feel everything you feel for her, all the care and emotions, and even a few peeks at a couple of the fantasies you've entertained about her."
Aayla laughed as Izuku stuttered and blushed, pressing a finger to his lips to silence him before he could get any actual words out.
"I'd probably be a little irked about the attraction copying over, if I wasn't already bi-sexual to begin with. I had a terrible crush on an older Togrutan Jedi named Shaak Ti at one point, you know. Body to die for or kill over, one or the other."
Izuku gulped as Aayla mischievously sent him a mental image of a nude Shaak Ti in the temple changing room showers. Given the way the water was highlighting that body as it flowed over the older woman, he felt certain things stir…which wasn't helped by also feeling Aayla's own attraction. Both the memory Aayla and her current self.
"Mind you, I don't know if I want Mei to join us in bed or anything. I don't have any more clue what we're doing than you do. Less, probably. Planning anything like that would be very premature, and I'm not even sure Mei would be into it. She wasn't giving off very much in the way of lust. Bit and pieces, but not enough to say if she's into either of us. I think she's actually more attracted to the ship."
The pure confusion at that in Aayla's voice caused Izuku to crack a grin. Yeah, that sounded about right.
"Either way, I'm not going to be all super jealous of her time with you or anything. Just don't get involved in the fun sort of physical stuff without consulting me about it first and it's fine. Also don't get jealous when I hug her. That girl's entire self practically screams 'hug me to distract me from blowing up a planet.'"
Izuku was almost certain that this wasn't the way this normally worked. Even if that last bit did seem a bit too accurate regarding Mei. For the moment, though, he was just going to roll with it all since it wasn't exploding in his face. He liked things not exploding in his face. Aayla seemed to sense that thought and grinned up at him again. A moment later, her grin turned predatory as she swung herself around to straddle his lap and kissed him. He could feel through the bond that she didn't want to go too far yet, but was more than interested in his earlier offer to 'return the favor'…
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A/N: This comment is going over the stuff I had Aayla/Izuku discuss about the Jedi Code. I'm virtually certain SOMEONE out there (either here or somewhere else I've posted this), is going to start a debate over that. The Jedi Code in any form almost always starts that sort of debate among fans. As such, before I tackled it, I spent multiple hours doing a deep dive into what we know about it from all sources.
I'm not going to lie, despite (obviously) being a fan of the Star Wars EU? What I found actually took me off guard a fair bit. I'd actually originally intended for Ood Bnar to provide them with the old Jedi Code/Oath that was a little bit more...forgiving. The problem is that, when I actually did my deep dive into it? The code isn't actually as fucked up as most fans exaggerate it to be. The deeper you look into what we actually know the Jedi to have said about their code, the less the typical Fanon view of that code is actually accurate. The typical fan interpretation is: "Oh noes! The Jedi forbid attachment and emotions! That's badness!" But the more and deeper I looked, the more I realized how off that is, at least for the EU and for the code-as-intended. Romantic relationships, while somewhat discouraged, actually WEREN'T explicitly banned. They were only discouraged because they tended to go against the 'don't be possessive' part of the code. For those that could separate love from possessiveness, it was actually fine. (Technically. Others that couldn't understand the distinction would judge them for it, most likely).
The problem stems not from the code itself, but from the way fallible people interpreted it (as in, far too literally, despite that being nonsense). Most people couldn't separate the two ideas (attachment and possessiveness), and thus came to regard relationships as The Problem. They couldn't grasp the idea of being able to love someone while also being able to accept that they might die or leave. Essentially, it's the trope of 'stop trying to protect me, I'm a warrior too!' played out in large scale and with more general application. An emotionally healthy person who is capable of accepting the loss of a loved one, rather than being fucked up by it to the point of acts of insanity, would be completely okay by the Jedi Code's view. (As far as I can tell).
I did my best to have Aayla and Izuku's discussion in chapter 22 highlight this. That the code itself is being sort of twisted and warped by the Jedi Order as a collective whole. That the actual intended meaning of the code is not being acted upon. Aayla is also benefitting from the fact that one of Ood Bnar's closest friends WROTE the modern version of the code...and taught extensively on it. Odan-Urr was, from what information is available on his teachings, far more down-to-earth and pragmatic than the modern Jedi are shown to be. Much more Qui-Gon-Jinn than Mace Windu.
All of this, of course, is only what I got from the sources available. It might not be entirely right, and I'm quite certain some readers are going to insist they know what the code was and it's really really bad and supppperrr literal. Unfortunately for them, this is my story (*sticks tongue out*), so I get to interpret it how it want ;-).