Chapter 42 Part 7 - Warm and Happy Feelings
PART VII: WARM AND HAPPY FEELINGS
“W-W-What’s happening,” Pixyl stammered as Callie entered Ogre House.
Callie groaned audibly as she walked towards her bunk. “I’ll tell everyone the details when we’re together. But your job is going to be to cut into somewhere as hard as stone and the rest of us protect you.” After setting the food bundles on her footlocker, Callie started lifting the armor pieces off its rack, spreading them out before her.
“Protect?” Tazrok asked, pulling his huge leather pants on.
“Yup, you’re going to be in your spider form.”
“Hmm. Good. Like spider. Many hands for smashing. Many eyes for seeing.” Tazrok grunted in satisfaction.
“This is r-r-real?” Pixyl asked worriedly.
“It is, and I’ve been put in charge of it,” Callie snapped. “Lucky me, I guess.”
“Okay,” the Pixie replied, drawing the word out with hesitation. “But is that really a g-g-good idea?”
Callie looked, and saw Pixyl wore a worried expression. She wasn’t sure if it was worry for the mission, or worry that she was in charge of it. “It will be fine,” Callie sighed. “Both the Major and Reynard will be along to take over if they need to.”
Callie felt herself growing more than a little irritated that not a single person’s first response had been ‘Congratulations, Callie’ or ‘Way to go, Callie.’ Even with Vanis, that initial doubt had slipped through. He tried to remain stiff and aloof, his years of protocol training quickly kicking in, but it was still a moment of visible doubt. If this was supposed to be a good thing, it sure didn’t feel like it. Grudgingly, she yanked off her moccasin boots, tossing them a little too roughly towards the foot of her bed. Stop it Callie. Concentrate on the mission. Emotions later.
Tazrok was the first to finish changing into his armor, and he did a couple knee-bends to make sure everything was properly settled into place, before briefly transforming into his weasel form and back again to test there were no issues. Satisfied, the Ogre nodded, making a ‘harumph’ sound. “Should wait for you?”
“Um, if you want, I suppose,” Callie said with a shrug. It really wouldn’t matter if they all arrived together versus everyone making a separate dash for the Commandant's. “We’ll only be a couple more minutes,” Callie added, gesturing to Pixyl, who was buckling one of her armor-boots tightly into place.
“Will wait then,” Tazrok said. “Wait in garden and fill water.” With heavy footsteps, he stomped towards the doorway, opening the larger one and walking outside.
“What’s w-w-wrong?” Pixyl asked.
“What?” Callie answered. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“You’re not. You’re angry. What h-h-happened?”
Callie tugged hard on her boot laces. “It’s just,” she finally said with a sigh, looking at her friend. “I just wish someone’s first response would be to be happy for me, or wishing me good luck, and not thinking there must be some kind of giant cosmic mistake. I mean, I get it. It’s only the second week and I’m …” Callie gestured towards all of her Gnome self, “ all of this. Hell, even I thought Xera was making some kind of a joke at first, so I understand everyone’s first reaction. Still stings a bit, though.”
“I’m s-s-sorry,” Pixyl said apologetically.
“No. It’s fine, Pixyl,” Callie said, dropping her foot. “Like I said, I get it, and I need to be above the emotions right now. But, I’ll be honest, because I can be honest with you. I’m scared. I don’t want to fuck this up, but I don’t know anything about commanding people or any of this. When everyone’s first reaction is doubt or even thinking it’s a joke, it hurts my already shaky confidence.”
Pixyl dropped to the floor and walked over to Callie, wearing only one boot so far, and making an awkward clomping sound. She took both of the Gnome's hands in her own and looked up at her. “I may have been surprised, and I’m sorry for what I said and how I said it, but I believe in you.” She didn’t stutter at all and held Callie’s gaze.
“Thanks, Pixyl,” Callie said, still sounding a little down, but weakly smiling nonetheless.
The Pixie returned the smile. “You’ve got this,” she said confidently. Giving Callie’s hands a final squeeze, she turned, and clomped quickly back to her bunk to finish getting armored for battle.
Emerging into the bright sunlight, Callie put her hands over her eyes to get used to the sun. Due to wearing her helmet, she had to forgo her Ranger hat. Ahead, milling in the garden, she could see several people, the black skin of Shul’an standing out behind the green of Lhawni’s. Of course, towering over everyone was Tazrok, smiling a big smile, the grin spreading to a few around him. Spirits among the team seemed high, despite the worry that was visible in their eyes.
“Hey, Callie,” Lena said, jogging up to them. “What’s this about you leading a combat mission? Really? Are they serious?” Behind Callie, Pixyl slapped her hand to her face and slowly shook her head.
Callie glared icy daggers at the Bladedancer. “Yes, I’m leading this fiasco,” she hissed through gritted teeth dripping with sarcasm. “Yes, I’m sure it’s a bad idea. Yes, I’m sure we’re all doomed. Obviously little ol’ me could never do something like this. Is that what you’re asking? Thanks for the encouragement!” Spinning, Callie stormed off towards the garden grumbling under her breath.
“What did I say?” Lena asked, looking down.
“You implied it must be a mistake. We’ve all done it,” Pixyl said, sighing. “We all thought it, and then s-s-said it. It’s not helping her get focused.”
“But I didn’t mean …” Lena began to say, slowly putting her hand to her mouth.
“I know. She knows too. It was just bad timing and she took it out on you. She’ll be okay.”
“Damn!” Lena said sharply, verbally kicking herself for making Callie feel that way. “Should I go apologize?”
Pixyl shook her head. “Not right now. Let her get refocused on whatever is g-g-going on here.”
“Sure, if you say so. But if you get a chance, tell her I am sorry.”
“I will,” Pixyl said as she turned away from Lena and moved to join the others.
“Are we all here?” Callie asked as she walked up and filled her waterskin fresh from the fountain. The other team members were organizing themselves vaguely into a line. Not so much at attention, but at least paying attention. All except Jesca and Ambria that was. In her haste to put it on, Ambria’s helmet had become impaled on the pointed spike of her broken antler. Now, it was completely stuck, unable to continue forward or be easily removed. Jesca was fussing, trying to dislodge the hardened leather so the Faun could try again.
“Everything okay?” Callie asked.
“It’s stuck, and pinching my antlers together, and the pressure hurts quite a bit. She’ll get it,” Ambria grumbled, making a wincing face. “I should have filed that point down earlier this week, but I kept putting it off. I didn’t feel like sitting in front of a mirror for an hour working on it.”
Jesca stopped her puttering for a moment, looking down into Ambria’s eyes. “Any of us would have been happy to help if you needed it.”
“I know, it’s just … they’re kind of personal. You don’t let other people touch them except …” the Faun slowly trailed off, blushing furiously.
“Except what?” Jesca asked absently, returning to struggling with the helmet.
“Except … you know …”
Jesca shook her head as she continued. “Uh, uh.”
“Okay, fine,” Ambria said as she squinted her eyes shut and sucked in air. “It can sometimes be a turn on to have someone else, you know … rub them. Especially when ….” Her voice abruptly cut off and she gave off a sharp squeak. Ambria’s breath gasped as Jesca triumphantly held the dislodged helmet aloft. On suddenly shaky legs, the Faun stumbled forward, the intense pressure suddenly relieved, barely catching herself on the side of the fountain. She fell to her knees, continuing to gasp for breath, as everyone gaped in shocked silence.
“Especially when what?” Jesca asked, still looking at the helmet, apparently oblivious to what had just happened.
“Oh my,” the Faun loudly whispered as she rolled to her back. Smiling slightly, she slid slowly down the side of the fountain until her rear touched the ground. She sat there gasping, her legs and tail still quivering, her eyes a little unfocused and a warm feeling pouring through her body. Ambria finally looked up, her eyes refocusing, and saw all those faces looking down at her with expressions ranging from amusement to concern to actual fascination. Slowly, Ambria held up one shaky finger, speaking carefully and with a warning between gasps. “Nobody … saw … anything! So help me, if any of you say anything about this to anyone, I will find you and I will murder each and every one of you in your sleep using a spoon. Then, I’ll heal you and do it again!”
There was silence as the panting Ambria locked her gazes one at a time with each of them, including a very confused Jesca.
“So, do you like to cuddle now?” Lhawni asked with a chuckle.
The sudden roar of laughter was louder than the cheering on the gamefield had been less than a half-hour earlier. Poor Ambria’s face turned an even deeper shade of crimson as she covered it with her hands. Her body shook as if she was sobbing, but after a few seconds it became obvious she was laughing right along with everyone else. Even the apparently clueless Jesca, after a quick, whispered explanation from Pixyl, was now hesitantly laughing with the rest of them, the crimson of her own blushing evident even through her fur-covered face.
As the laughter finally calmed, Jesca offered Ambria a hand to help her up. The Faun slapped it away, waving her off and saying she still needed some time.
“Very very happy Faun,” Tazrok pointed out with a wide grin towards the Healer. Of course, this just renewed the laughter for a bit longer.
Everyone eventually calmed, and Callie turned to look at her people, instinctively counting noses and noticing one was missing. “Where’s Thucax?”
“He’s still inside,” Jesca said, a slight worry forming in her voice. “He was … he was really nervous. Actually, he may have been panicking. Koda is inside talking to him, though.”
“We really can’t wait,” Callie said nervously, instinctively looking at her wrist for a watch, despite the fact she never wore one, even back home. “We’ll give him one more minute, and then someone needs to get him or we’ll be late. I don’t want to be late.”
“What are we actually doing? This mission, I mean,” Lhawni asked.
Callie shook her head. “It’s easier just to give you all the details at the same time. But you are going to be on healer duty, and Tazrok is going to be one of the Guardians.”
“Wait, so we’ll be fighting next to his spider form?” Ambria asked, her warm, happy afterglow suddenly evaporating as her eyes went wide.
“Probably,” Callie shrugged. “Maybe he’ll become something else if the need comes up, and he can back you and Lhawni up with healing, if needed.”
Ambria shuddered, rising back to her feet, her moment of euphoric bliss apparently now completely gone. “No offense, Tazrok, but spiders are creepy. So many … legs … and those eyes …”. She shuddered.
“Spider good. Many hands for fight,” Tazrok said, slightly defensive. Then he added, “But yes, can be creepy.”
Ambria shuddered again. “I’m just glad it’s you, at least.”
“Here they come,” Jesca called out, shielding her eyes as she looked towards her house. Walking their way was Thucax, Koda walking next to him with his huge paw on the Gnoll’s shoulder. Koda, of course, was grinning his big bear grin, like always. Thucax, on the other hand, still seemed quite nervous, worry evident on his face.
“Sorry,” Thucax said as he arrived. “I was… I’m here now. I’m good.”
“You’ll be fine, my friend,” Koda said in his deep voice, slapping a paw against Thucax’s back and sending him stumbling.
“Thanks,” the Gnoll replied sheepishly.
Koda looked down at Callie, still wearing his trademark grin. “What is this I hear about you leading this combat mission?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Callie sighed, waving a hand. “Lay it on me like everyone else.”
“Congratulations, Little One!” Koda said enthusiastically. “You will do very well as the leader of your team.”
“Why is it that everyone thinks that I can’t…” Callie started to snarl in response, but then her brain finally caught up with Koda’s words. “Wait. What did you say?”
“I said ‘congratulations’,” Koda repeated. “You will do great!”
Callie laughed dryly a single time, her eyes going wide in disbelief. “Can … Can you say that one more time?”
“Little One, you will be great,” Koda said a third time, this time pointing at her for emphasis.
With nary a preamble, Callie rushed towards the Bearkin. Koda saw the look on her face and dropped to one knee as the Gnome charged into an embrace. “Thank you, Koda. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that from somebody. From anybody!”
Hugging tightly, Koda glanced up at the others, before looking back to Callie. “Little One, you are clever and strong and have surrounded yourself with a great team.”
Callie pushed out of the hug. “Thank you, Koda. I wish I had a better way to say that, but that’s all I’ve got.”
The Paladin stood. “All of you come close,” he said, opening his arms and inviting everyone. The group all moved in closer, Tazrok towering over all of them. Koda placed his paws on the shoulders of Shul’an and Thucax, who were standing on the outside, seeming to embrace the entire team. “Remember your training, watch out for each other, and focus on your tasks. All of you have learned more in only two weeks than many learn in a lifetime. You know your skills. You know your perks. Listen to what they tell you, and you will all be fine.”
As the recruits contemplated Koda’s words, a warm sense of courage seemed to pass over, around and through them. It didn’t tell them they were invincible, but it did tell them to trust in themselves and to trust in their teammates. It was exactly what each of them needed in that moment to chase away the worries they all carried.
For Callie, the existential dread of having to lead suddenly dwindled down to an existential worry, and a flood of all the lessons she’d had over the last two weeks flipped through her mind like the pages of a book. Everything from making arrows that first day, to rescuing Jesca from the clutches of The Monster. She wasn’t perfect, and she didn’t know it all, or maybe even much. But she did know a lot, and she was ready to use it.
“Thank you,” Tazrok said. “Good words.”
“Yeah, Koda. They were great words,” Callie echoed as a warm, calming feeling flowed through her..
The Bearkin stepped back, releasing the figurative embrace he had been holding. “You are all ready. Go, and good hunting.”
One by one, they turned. With Tazrok leading the way, they began to file out of the Garden, making their way as a group towards their destination. They didn’t know what lay ahead. But whatever it was, they were ready to face it together.
“Paladin magic?” Callie whispered as a question to Pixyl.
“Probably. Does it matter?”
“Not at all.”