Call Me Daddy

Su Aobai’s previously indifferent gaze slowly seemed to soften.

“Do you remember what Ji Xing used to say? She said that if she had a child, she would be the best mother in the world. It was her wish. If she were still alive, she would never want to see you treating the child she fought for with her life like this!”

Most of the children in the orphanage were abandoned by their parents, including Ji Xing. She resented her irresponsible parents and, aside from wanting to always be with Su Aobai, she had dreamed of becoming a great mother.

She had said countless times that if she had a daughter, she would make her the most adorable little princess.

Looking at the smiling face on the tombstone, the Dean Mother wept bitterly. Such a young life had been taken, along with a part of Su Aobai’s own.

***

Perhaps the Dean Mother’s words or the baby’s cries and her tiny hands clutching his collar made Su Aobai realize his responsibility. He finally spoke.

“Yi Xing, from now on, this child will be called Yi Xing.”

This was the first time Su Aobai spoke to the outside world after Ji Xing’s burial.

The Dean Mother covered her mouth, nodding repeatedly as tears flowed more freely from her eyes.

From that day on, Su Aobai seemed to have truly started to pull himself together. He took the child from the Dean Mother and brought her back to the apartment he and Ji Xing had lived in.

Having grown up in the orphanage and helped care for younger siblings from a young age, taking care of a newborn wasn’t difficult for Su Aobai. He could skillfully prepare formula, change diapers, bathe, and wash the baby’s hair.

However, he still needed to work to earn money. He had incurred debt to buy Ji Xing’s burial plot, and now the costs for the child and living expenses added up to a significant amount.

Having already troubled the Dean Mother a great deal, Su Aobai entrusted the child to the landlady living across the hall. The landlady could only watch over the child during the day. In an era when ordinary people earned 800 yuan a month, Su Aobai had an additional 500 yuan in child care fees.

During the day, he worked the hardest and most grueling jobs on the construction site. At night, he returned home, picked up the child from the landlady, and had to prepare his own dinner.

In the hottest summer, holding a crying baby in one arm while wielding a shovel in the other became his daily routine.

When the Dean Mother, who rarely had time, brought a box of milk and fruit to visit him and the child, she saw a young man with dark skin, a face full of stubble, and an unkempt appearance.

His eyes were dark from exhaustion. He worked during the day and had to wake up at midnight to feed the baby, pushing his stamina and energy to the limit.

In contrast, the once frail newborn was now plump and rosy, smiling at everyone she met, looking incredibly adorable.

The Dean Mother could only sigh inwardly, thinking how different things might have been if the young man had not been so reckless and if they had taken proper precautions at the right age, using a healthy body to have such a daughter. They could have had a very happy family.

But she could only think that to herself. The deceased were gone, and the living had to continue. Although most of her money went to supporting the orphanage, she still gathered 1,000 yuan and placed it in the fruit basket she sent.

There was little she could do, only hoping that the child she had once raised would live well with this emotional support.

***

The next time the Dean Mother saw Su Aobai was 2 months later.

He brought Su Yixing to the orphanage, kneeling on the ground and repeatedly bowing his head, begging her to take care of the child. Without waiting for her to ask for an explanation, he left, abandoning his daughter and a pile of Su Yixing’s belongings.

Holding the crying baby, the Dean Mother only learned the next day, when the police came to investigate, that Su Aobai had committed murder.

After leaving the orphanage the previous day, he had gone to the police station to turn himself in.

In his confession, he explained that he had had a dispute with the victim over a trivial matter on the road. They had fought, and in a moment of rage, he had used a utility knife to fatally stab the victim.

The distant surveillance cameras had also captured the scene at that time; two people accidentally bumped into each other on the street, which seemed to lead to a verbal altercation. The other person made the first move, and perhaps due to the ensuing chaos, Su Aobai pulled out a utility knife from his pocket and stabbed him several times, resulting in his death.

Investigations revealed that the two men didn’t know each other beforehand, ruling out premeditated murder.

Additionally, Su Aobai’s confession and cooperative attitude contributed to a reduced sentence, so he was ultimately sentenced to 12 years in prison.

The Dean Mother was both angry and distressed upon hearing the news. When she visited him in prison, she scolded him harshly through the glass.

This was a child she had raised herself, who had been so sensible and obedient as a child. Why had he committed so many foolish acts after leaving the orphanage?

Impulsive, impulsive! Didn’t he think about the daughter he still had to care for when he acted?

Yet, he stubbornly refused to speak a word. In her anger, the Dean Mother had never brought Su Yixing to visit him in prison over the following years. Even she seemed to have forgotten the child in prison and never visited him again.

Now, seeing the little girl’s indifferent expression, the Dean Mother suddenly felt a pang of regret.

Su Aobai had behaved well in prison and had earned a reduction in his sentence. The Dean Mother had received news that he would be released today. Since he was back, it was only natural that Su Yixing would be taken back to live with him.

But the father and daughter had had no contact over these 9 years. Su Yixing had also heard countless harsh remarks about being the daughter of a murderer. Could they really live together well with no emotional connection, and even resentment?

“Grandma, can I stay with you?”

Su Yixing looked up with a serious expression at the Dean Mother.

She had lived in the orphanage for as long as she could remember and had no expectations from the nominal father, even feeling his existence was a burden.

The Dean Mother opened her mouth, hesitated for a moment, and then remained silent.

Yes, even if Su Aobai was out of prison, how would he support himself and the child?

The man he had killed was a bachelor with no wife or children. His only relative was his mother, who had remarried. Upon learning of her son’s death, she returned solely for the compensation. However, after discovering Su Aobai was an orphan with only 200 yuan to his name, she left quickly, unwilling to deal with her son’s affairs.

Su Aobai was indeed poor.

When he went to prison, he hadn’t even repaid the money he had borrowed to buy a grave for Ji Xing. After he was imprisoned, the rented house had been vacated, and the landlord had cleared out any remaining items, which were used to offset the debt.

The Dean Mother had only been able to retrieve some old clothes of his and the child, along with a bottle and half a can of formula that the child used daily.

Now that he was out of prison, he was effectively penniless and had to face a world that had changed over the past 9 years.

He could barely take care of himself; how could he manage to care for a child?

The Dean Mother looked at the little girl, feeling somewhat hesitant.

Repeated accidents made her doubt the child she had raised. Over the past 9 years, she had developed strong feelings for Su Yixing. Her internal balance inevitably tipped toward keeping Su Yixing.

She decided to wait and see. If Su Aobai couldn’t manage to take care of himself and the child adequately, she would keep Su Yixing with her.

The Dean Mother gently patted the little girl’s head, her attitude softening considerably.

***

When Su Aobai left prison, he had only 200 yuan, which was given to him by an old prison guard who had been in charge of their area and took pity on him.

The reality of prison was different from what most people imagined; it was a place where money was required.

Generally, inmates’ families would deposit 1 or 2,000 yuan into a designated account each month. This money would help improve their living conditions in prison.

The state only provided the basic necessities like food and clothing. Items like toothpaste and soap had to be bought from the prison’s small shop. Although the prison shop was small, it carried some everyday items and snacks. Inmates with more financial resources could buy instant noodles, bread, and drinks.

Aside from inmates convicted of financial crimes who were restricted from high spending, the spending level of other inmates depended entirely on the money sent by their families.

Su Aobai had no family to visit him, let alone send him money.

Therefore, over the past 9 years, all his extra expenses were covered by the allowances he received from participating in labor reform. However, this money was only enough to buy basic necessities like toothpaste and toothbrushes.

His cellmates and the guards who oversaw them were aware of his situation. Initially, they had biases against him due to his crime of impulsive killing. But over time, his non-troublesome, quiet demeanor changed their perception of him.

When it was time for him to be released, several guards pooled together 200 yuan to at least give him enough to buy a ticket back home. With this money, if he was frugal, he could afford several meals—though these meals would consist mainly of steamed buns and water.

To accommodate his feelings, they said it was a loan, though in their minds, they didn’t expect him to repay it. As long as he stayed out of trouble and didn’t reoffend, that was enough for them.

With this 200 yuan in mixed denominations, Su Aobai used 2 yuan to board a bus heading to the city.

At the starting station, Su Aobai was the only passenger being released from prison that day. It was nearly 15 minutes before the bus reached the next stop, where a few more passengers boarded.

They could tell from the starting station being a prison and Su Aobai’s outdated clothes and his unkempt appearance that he was a recently released inmate.

After a quick glance at him, they immediately looked away and shuffled to the seats as far from him as possible.

Although inmates who had served their sentences had paid their debt to society, prejudice still lingered.

Had he truly atoned for his mistakes and changed his ways, or was he still to be judged?

This question remained unresolved.

Some believed that criminals deserved a chance if they genuinely sought to reform, while others thought that once someone made a mistake, they should be shamed for life.

Often, Su Aobai leaned toward the latter view, seeing it as part of the cost of making mistakes.

So, as he observed those who viewed him with suspicion, he remained indifferent.

He rummaged through the plastic bag provided by the prison and retrieved the cell phone that had been confiscated before his incarceration. Before he was imprisoned, it had been an extremely cheap, outdated model. Considering the rapid technological advancements over the past 9 years, it was now even more obsolete.

The phone was an old model with a removable battery, requiring two battery packs that were alternately used and charged with a universal charger. The screen was very small, about the width of one and a half thumbs, and it had a row of buttons below.

After 9 years, the phone had likely run out of power and shut down. It had probably become a useless brick by now.

Su Aobai placed the phone back in the plastic bag, which also contained a worn, cracked belt. The clothes he had worn before prison were now on his back.

He couldn’t bring himself to discard these items, which seemed like trash.

***

After packing his belongings, Su Aobai approached the driver, who glanced at him warily.

“Excuse me, how do I get to Peacock Mountain Cemetery?”

“Get off at Huannan Middle Road Station, transfer to bus 505 to Xingzhu New Village Station, then transfer to the Circular Line 9. That bus will take you to Peacock Mountain Cemetery.”

Seeing that Su Aobai’s tone was polite, the driver gradually relaxed.

After confirming the route, Su Aobai returned to his seat with his belongings.

On his first day out of prison, he only wanted to see her.