BuyMort: Rise of the Windowpuncher - How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona. Apocalyptic GameLit

My mouth dropped a little, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Please, allow me to explain,” Terna said. “The trial would be for your supposed crimes upon returning to Nu-Earth. The legal risk would be limited by holding the trial here and publicizing it to the entire multiverse.”

I scowled and took a drink. “I thought you wanted to keep me hidden.”

“Only to control the moment of your return. We can use your name, your image, your reputation. And a trial seems to me to be the best way to undermine Silken Sands ability to smear you in public,” Terna said. “We use a BlueCleave judge, but keep the trial hidden, moving its location each day. We would have to allow the press in, but we can control their foreknowledge of the location to prevent sabotage.”

“What would my charges look like?” I asked. “How much risk would I be in, surrendering myself to the Silken Sands legal system in this way?”

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I sighed. It was a sure thing that I was already going to have my own legal representation, but having to deal with lawyers so soon after coming back from the dead was just hellish.

“I’m not aware of all your actions since your return, but news out of Nu-Earth has a small handful of items I suspect you are responsible for. Namely, the destruction of the statue in Central Plaza, Prescott, and the attack on the gravity sling. I believe, if the right pressure is applied, that we can get access to footage of both attacks,” Terna explained.

“Well, I’m guilty as charged on the statue. I smashed it to bits very intentionally. No getting out of that one. There’s also some stuff Axle said when I met with him, attacking BlueCleave personnel. I also may have caused some considerable damage to one of their ships, and a handful of fighters,” I said. “But the gravity sling was all their fault. I tried to save people on that one. They caused the entire mess there.”

“Did you kill anyone?” Terna asked.

I shook my head. “I went out of my way not to.”

“Were your attacks on BlueCleave ships to defend your own life or others?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes to both. In orbit, I punched the deck of their hangar bay to get some charge so I could escape, and then I smashed their gravity-hook thing so I could escape.”

“We can spin that as defense of self,” she said. “What about the gravity sling?”

“They were pursuing me, and started shooting pulsed ion blasts at the sling, which caused massive damage and put a bunch of ships at risk. I destroyed a couple of their fighters to try and stop them from causing more harm. Not sure if their pilots made it out okay, but neither ship was damaged to the point of putting them at real risk, in my opinion,” I said.

Terna nodded again. “This sounds workable. Even if the pilots died, we could easily pitch that as defense of others. The gravity sling debacle is being sold to the public as an accident, but there has already been civilian footage making its way out. It should be easy enough for my contacts to get us some of that to aid our case.”

“I have to admit,” I started, finishing off my second glass of tequila. “I’m getting on board with this plan.”

“It will be risky,” Terna said. “And I have much to do to arrange this before we can get started, but I do think it is our best option. If I can keep Axle from extraditing you to Nu-Earth, we can ensure a fair trial.”

“No way out of the destruction of public property thing though. What do we do about that?” I asked.

“A light sentence with a guilty plea would likely mean community service. Another avenue for good publicity,” she said. “The goal here is to enter you into the mainstream consciousness as a figure for good. To dredge up the old days of the Church War and remind everyone that you freed our system from oppression.”

“Which will highlight the oppression they all now live under,” I added, nodding. “I’m starting to see your plan here.”

Terna smiled and nodded. “Axle holds ‘elections’ every two years, which he never loses. If we play this correctly, you should be free of your legal entanglements and well-placed to challenge him this coming election. Even if you lose, the act will galvanize the multiverse. Change the dynamics of power forever.”

“A good first step, then,” I said. “He really holds elections for his own position?”

Terna nodded again. “He does. Part of his public image is adherence to planetary democracy. His popularity ratings are never high, but he always wins because no one of note ever challenges him.”

“And people stick with what they know,” I added, nodding along. “But everybody knows me.”

Terna’s smile returned. “Exactly. And once we are done with your image, they should all love you again too. I remember the days of your rise to power. The presence and following you commanded could be the catalyst for change we all need.”

“I cannot fault you for creativity, Terna. This is not at all how I expected to contribute to your resistance,” I told her.

“A little-known secret is that I actually hate my resistance,” she replied. “Violence was never something I wanted on the world ship again, and it breaks my heart to see the way my people have responded to BlueCleave’s oppression. So much wasteful death, so much suffering at the hands of those I love. My people have become something they never should have, and I have long searched for a way to reverse that change.”

“Wow,” I replied with a small laugh. “Way to make this a pressure-free situation.”

“We have large dreams, my friend. Always have,” Terna said, with a wan smile of her own. “It is well past time to get back to those dreams. But first, we have much to repair.”

“Yeah, I’ve been getting that impression,” I said.

Our Knowle historian was happily scratching in her notebook, documenting this meeting between leaders. She raised a claw. “Excuse me, but what dreams specifically?”

Terna laughed aloud and shook her head. “You would call us insane, it is not the time. There are years ahead of us before our long term goals will become possible, let alone realistic.”

“Oh don’t be shy,” I said. “I’ll tell her if you won’t. My greatest dream is to kill BuyMort.”

Mirdanna gaped and dropped her pen.

“See, she thinks you’re insane now,” Terna said.

“Yeah, well. Everybody always does. And yet,” I replied, a small smile on my lips.

“And yet,” repeated Terna. “Mirdanna, please keep that to yourself for the time being. It is a pipe-dream, something we both share a wild fantasy about. Nothing more.”

Mirdanna glanced between us both, then nodded. “I understand.” She made a series of notes on her pad, and then tucked it away in her bag. “Thank you both for allowing me to be present during this historic meeting. It has been extraordinarily illuminating.”

“I hope your book is a best seller,” I told her.

She smiled, and her ears perked up even further. “With the insights I have gained today, there is no doubt it will be. May I meet with you again to speak about Axle and your history together?”

I nodded. “Of course. When I’m not on trial, anyway.”

Terna laughed. “That will not be soon, and you will need something to fill your days until I can make the necessary arrangements.”

“Hey, yeah, what am I supposed to do while you make arrangements?” I asked. “Aside from interviews with your resident historian?”

“I am sorry, but I have to ask you to stay here, out of sight,” Terna said.

I scowled and thought for a few seconds. “What if I went somewhere else, but still stayed out of sight?” I asked.

It was Terna’s turn to scowl. “Where are you thinking?” she asked.

“Storage,” I said. “There’s a tribe of gobbs I’ve become invested in. I would like to bring them some supplies, check in on them. They’ve been on the run from slavers.”

Mirdanna pulled out her notepad and started writing furiously again.

Terna nodded with a frown. “Yes, that seems safe enough, assuming you stay clear of civilization centers. What kind of supplies do you want to bring them?”

I shrugged. “Food, tools, maybe weapons.”

“You want to arm wild gobbs,” Terna said. It wasn’t a question.

I nodded. “They’re fighting for their lives, and the slavers are a constant problem.”

“Food and tools I can provide. I cannot have Terna’s World associated with an effort to arm gobbs in Storage, however,” she told me.

“Well, I’ll take what I can get, thank you,” I replied.

Mirdanna raised a claw, and I was momentarily reminded of my days doing interviews and broadcasts. “What is your connection to the gobb tribe in question?”

I shrugged. “When Axle arrested me and was going to throw me in some hole for six months or so, I skipped town and went to Storage. It’s unspeakably massive, so I was impossible to find. The gobbs took me in, no questions asked. I spent a few days with them but brought down the slavers on them by being careless. I want to make it up to them.”

“Alright, we’ll set something up. Can you stay here for the night at least?” Terna asked.

I nodded and stood to get another drink. “Hey, Mirdanna, looks like I have time for an interview after all. You want to stick around?”

“Lady Terna, may I?” the historian asked.

Terna snorted. “Please don’t call me that, and yes you may. Just be discreet on your way out, you know the route. Goodnight Tyson. I’ll be back in the morning with your supplies.”

She stopped at the doorway and stared at us for a long moment, then shut the heavy metal door behind herself and left us alone. I poured myself a drink and made one for Mirdanna too. Then we sat down on the couch and I spent the next few hours answering her questions. She had what felt like an unending well of them.

By the time she was finished with me for the night, I had re-lived almost the entire year I spent as CEO of Silken Sands, and I was solidly drunk. Mirdanna thanked me for the evening and left me to my own devices.

I had another yarsp and jellyfish burrito and slumped on the couch to watch tv. Again the news was depressing and violent, and there was nothing else of note on the local network. After eating and drinking, I stared mindlessly at the farming network, where they offered tips on working at the grow-houses and managing your own garden.

It was educational, but my drunken mind kept wandering back to Molls. She had been with Doofus at the end, and that meant a lot to me. Eventually I slumped over and fell asleep on the couch again, only to dream of my lost love and best friend dying together in horrible ways.