Broken Soul

Michael

Michael walked through a richly decorated hallway, monster trophies, tattered banners, and magical weapons hanging on the wall as he followed it.

He hadn't had this kind of dream since leaving for his expedition, but still recognized their strange feeling.

Walking down the hallway, he finally reached a balcony made from fine dark wood. Everything felt as real as only life could, and he searched for a meaning, an idea to be had, but he couldn't find it. Below him was a sprawling city that spanned to the end of his vision. It was constructed out of stone and filled with happy-looking people.

Applause reached his ears, and he redirected his gaze further downward. Ranks upon ranks of armored soldiers stood in a huge courtyard, their weapons raised to a salute and their voices cheering for their lord.

He was taller and felt stronger. Was this a vision of the future or a promise? He wasn't sure, but he recognized the landscape of Reen even if the advancing civilization warped it.

A feeling of power and pride swept into Michael's mind, but it felt forced, as if it was not coming from himself. He was nearly drowned by it as someone tried to push away his own feelings.

Is this what I want? he thought and looked at the vast city and soldiers. Is my goal to be a great ruler and general?

He took a step back and frowned. Power has never been my goal! Fame has never been my desire!

Turning around, he noticed that the hallway through which he had arrived was gone, and in its stead was a familiar house. Warm light shone through the closed windows, and he heard familiar voices coming from inside.

Michael took a couple of steps closer when he felt something trying to pull him back to the balcony. He braced himself against it. It was as if he were walking through honey, but he persisted. The cheers began to devolve into cries of pain and the roaring of monsters, but Michael knew that it wasn't real.

After a couple of laborious steps, he finally reached the door and pushed it open. The cries vanished, and the view into the common room of Michael's house opened up. He saw them, all of his retainers sitting around the table, laughing, and eating as they had done for the last years.

The force that tried to pull him away was growing stronger, but it no longer affected him.

Michael smiled as Sola argued with Kiran about something, and Geron was sitting between them with a miserable expression. Solon was peacefully sitting on the other side and watched the discussion with a cup of tea.

Eydis noticed Michael at the door, grinned at him broadly, and offered him a mug with some drink. He stepped through the door, and it closed behind him with a loud click.

Michael awoke when the carriage hit a pothole in the street.

"Curses," he growled and sat up from his slouched sleeping position.

"Did you sleep well?" Solon asked.

"How can anyone sleep in these things?" he groaned and stretched his rebelling back.

There were old Kiran, Solon, and he in the carriage. Grur had left them after they crossed the border because he needed to get back home and prepare everything for the future.

"You slept a few hours, Michael. We are already in Reen," Kiran said with a smirk. Michael had been exhausted from the last couple of days of magic training. He completely exhausted his mana reserves multiple times and hadn't given it time to fully replenish, which drained him to his core until Kiran banned him from using his mana until it was fully replenished the day before.

"Why didn't you wake me?" he asked and looked out into the familiar streets.

"You were sleeping so quite peacefully, and I didn't want to take that from you." Solon also looked amused at Michael's complaints.

Michael rolled his eyes but focused on making himself presentable for the imminent arrival. Appearances played a crucial role in getting treated with respect, the most important thing Michael had learned from his mother.

It only took five more minutes until the carriage rolled into the castle's courtyard and stopped in front of the welcome committee. The guards and knights had positioned themselves in rows to the left and right of the nobles and important citizens, as always, and Sola and Geron were also present.

Michael stepped out of the carriage and tried his best to hide his exhaustion when he was greeted by someone he hadn't expected.

Princess Mira was standing in front of the waiting nobles in a simple green dress. Her long hair was secured in a braid that lay over her left shoulder. It had grown considerably since the first time Michael had seen her, and a silver sun-shaped hair clip blinked in contrast to her black hair color.

"Mira," he said, surprised. She walked over to him and said with her eyes focused on the ground, "I am sorry that I wasn't here earlier."

Michael took her hand, and she looked up at him. "You did what you had to. I knew that you were with me in spirit, and that gave me strength. So, don't be too hard on yourself and the king."

Mira teared up a little, but Michael smiled and winked at her. "Let's talk after I am done here, okay?" he said, and she nodded.

The knights and nobles were waiting eagerly for what their lord had to say. He obviously wasn't dead, but they still didn't know if his mission had been a success.

Michael let his gaze flow over the audience, tickling at their curiosity, and then said, "I am happy to announce that the hostilities between us and the Wolf Clan are no more. I am also happy to announce that I have achieved a trade agreement with the Kingdom of Garekha. A good new era is upon us, my friends. An era of peace and prosperity."

The reactions were understandably mixed. While most were happy about the trade with the dwarves, many showed more negative feelings about the peace with their biggest enemy of the last decades. It would take time for them to see the advantages of not having to have a tight net at the border and the prosperity that trade could bring with the wolves.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

Sola and Geron approached him. "Welcome back. How was your adventure? I hope you kept up your training," Sola said with a strict glance that hid her cheeky smile, and Geron gave him a respectful nod.

Michael chuckled dryly, the aching in his whole body reminding him of the journey, "It took its toll."

Sola raised an eyebrow, but Geron was first to speak, "Well, you seem to have managed just fine. I don't know which achievement is larger, making peace with the beastmen or making a trade agreement with the dwarves. You deserve to be tired."

Kiran joined in here with a humorous tone, "Oh, he is not tired because of those achievements. He is tired because he just demolished humanity's understanding of light magic as a side project while doing all those other things."

Sola looked at the old mage with a frown and then turned her gaze to Michael. He didn't say anything and just raised his hand to begin constructing a sigil.

"Hey, didn't I say no magic until you are fully recuperated?" Kiran protested, but with little force in his voice.

Michael smiled and concentrated on his spell. Shortly after, a ball of light appeared. Sola, Geron, and almost everyone else present inspected the ball with interest.

"Take it, Sola," Michael said and offered her the ball.

Her eyes widened as she started to understand what was happening, but most others had not caught on yet. With a shaking hand, the light mage reached for the ball of light, and Michael shivered with anticipation when she finally touched and then grabbed the hard light.

"By Idas," she exclaimed with a weak tone, and a cacophony of whispers erupted in the audience when Sola took the ball of light out of Michael's hand and pressed down on it without any effect.

"This is impossible," the priestess murmured and continued to stare at the ball of light as if mesmerized by it.

"This is a gift of Idas," one noble exclaimed, "He has blessed our lord with his own light."

Others didn't seem to be convinced and repelled by the unnatural sight, but most seemed to be on the side of amazement.

"Your strength rises by the day, milord," Geron announced loudly on purpose. "Not long, and you might be able to rival your late father."

The mention of his father stung a little, but Michael knew what the knight was doing. He was focusing the attention of the nobles and knights on Michael to shift the positive reactions onto him and not the magic.

Mira stepped forward as if enchanted. She looked at the ball of light and then turned her gaze toward Michael, looking him in the eyes for a moment before saying a single word, "Amazing." It hit him with such an array of emotions, he sensed amazement, sadness, and even a hint of fear that he couldn't place.

He held her eye contact, mesmerized by the wave of emotions she had managed to convey in a single word to him, until she looked away. Michael frowned and shook his head, unsure what had just happened, but he wasn't willing to ask her about it in this crowd.

Michael continued to be bombarded by questions he had little to no answer for from Sola while he entered the castle.

A small feast had been prepared for his return, and no amount of protest could have convinced his vassals to cancel it. He accepted his fate and spent the better part of the next three hours feasting and telling the nobles and merchants of the happenings of his travels. Some were interested in his magic, but as none of them understood much of it, the focus quickly turned to the trade agreement between the wolves, dwarves, and them.

The glint of greed in their eyes concerned Michael a little, but he couldn't really fault them for that. Greed was a defining trait of merchants and nobles alike these days, even if Michael didn't approve.

It was hard for him to stay attentive the whole evening without using his mana, but he pulled through until he finally managed to get away from the festivities and found himself on a small balcony with Mira and their respective guards standing watch a couple of meters away.

"We really don't have to talk now, you must be exhausted," Mira said and looked at him with an inquisitive look.

Michael chuckled and kept his gaze upon the stars, "I am fine. I don't want to wait till tomorrow to catch up with you at least a little."

Michael heard her move and looked over at her. She was also looking up into the night sky, and the stars were reflected in her shining blue eyes. "Alright, but promise me that you won't overdo it, please."

"As you command, princess. I will keep the collapsing to a minimum," he answered with a cheeky smile, which rewarded him with a punch to the shoulder and a pouting princess.

He leaned back on the bench and suddenly thought about the dream again while looking down the balcony at the walls of the castle.

"What is it?" Mira asked him after a while of silence, and Michael snapped out of it.

"Huh, what?" He looked at her, confused, and blinked.

"You have been staring down the balcony for over a minute. What is going on in that head of yours?" she explained and leaned against the railing.

Michael pondered whether he should tell her about it. He never shared his dreams with anyone, but he wanted to talk to someone about them. He had thought multiple times about telling Solon, Eydis, or Kiran, all of them being the most unlikely to condemn him or take it as a sign of possession. He didn't actually think that either Geron nor Sola would, but he didn't want them to doubt him in any way.

That might have also been the reason why he never spoke to any of the others about it. He couldn't quite explain the thought process that went into the decision to keep it to himself.

His friends were different, though. He wasn't their liege, and they didn't have to rely on him. He didn't need to be strong with them and had no desire to act like it in front of them.

Talking to Theodore has helped me a lot with coping with my last two breakdowns, so why not this time as well? I don't need to tell her everything either, just get it off my chest, he told himself.

He turned to the two knights and said, "Please give us some privacy."

The knights bowed and took a couple of steps back. They were still in sight, but Michael was sure that they had toned down their mana use so as not to listen in anymore.

Michael turned back around and leaned on the railings next to Mira, who was looking at him with interest.

"I had a strange dream. I was in a grand palace, I think. Trophies of my victories hung on the walls as I passed by. Once I reached the balcony, I saw a huge city and an army of knights who were all cheering for me. It felt like a dream come true, but just not my dream, you know?"

He sighed, and his fingers grabbed the railings harder. "I never wanted to rule. My life has been turned upside down again and again since that day. I don't want power, I don't want glory, I don't want any of this."

"It must be hard for you," Mira said with a low voice, "Whatever you do, you will always have those who will hate you for something they claim you are. Something you have no control over, and that you can't change." Michael looked at her with surprise. This was exactly what he had been struggling with for years already. He wondered if he was this easily read, but Mira looked into the distance with an absent expression as if she was talking to herself.

She then refocused and looked at Michael, "What do you think it means?"

Michael was still confused by her reaction but said, "I don't know. At the end of the dream, I walked away from the scenery and returned to the house I shared with the others. They were waiting for me and had fun. This is where I belonged." He smiled to himself and remembered the warm sight and the days of peace he had shared with them there before everything fell apart.

"Maybe that was the meaning. To show you what you really want. Not glory but just to keep those safe that are important to you," Mira suggested.

Michael wasn't sure what to make of this situation, but she wasn't wrong. The first part of the dream felt wrong, and the pull might have symbolized the pull that fame and power had on people, but the feeling didn't quite match. It felt more like someone pushing this fate on him than him discovering what he really wanted.

"It is hard when you have to second-guess yourself at every point because someone decided for you to be evil because you had a long affinity awakening," Michael said in a joking tone.

Mira chuckled a little, "I can imagine, but you are you and no one else, and I trust you to not be evil."

"That is very nice of you to say," Michael laughed.

"Hey, I was trying to be supportive here."

"My apologies, I didn't mean to offend." Mira scoffed at the overly polite tone, and they squabbled for a while longer, but soon after, Michael had to surrender to his exhaustion and call it a night.

The work was not done yet. He had completed one task, but the next was already waiting for him.