Bridgebuilder

It took Alex a second to parse what was happening here. Zenshen laughed as she tried to wash two donuts down with a cup of coffee, spewing crumbs across the table. The marines had settled down and gone back to eating, chuckling about whatever Alex had just missed.

Crenshaw was still beet red. "Look, I just- I was worried, all right. I didn't know that you- that Tsla'o could eat chocolate. I hadn't noticed any of you eating it before and..."

Hang the fuck on. Hang right the fuck on.

"Dude." Alex interjected, already seeing what road had led to this moment. "It's a fucking slur, not an instruction manual."

The marines got quiet after that. They had been laughing along with Zenshen, who was still amused. Kind of smug, actually. "Nah, nah. He's fine. Stupid mistake, but he's learned from it. Right, Crenshaw?"

"Yeah. I wasn't thinking, I just saw what she had and knew that... non-humans have trouble with theobromine and caffeine." He laid his hands out on the table, and he did look apologetic. "I'm not a bigot, I just didn't want to see somebody get hurt."

Zenshen chuffed at that, smirking into her cup. "He hasn't seen me getting coffee with every meal."

"Oh my god man, it's in the primer. They can eat everything we can!" Alex was a little heated up about this and the brakes were not working. It wasn't this thing - Zenshen didn't care, and Dominic Crenshaw was clearly apologetic. But it was the top layer of everything that had stacked up. All the spy shit he perceived as ruining his life because he fell in love wrong, somebody trying to build weapons in here, and now Crenshaw's casual racism. His jaw worked, teeth grinding, and he didn't even want to stop it.

He wanted to be able to come down on somebody over something.

Why not Crenshaw and his stupid choices?

Alex was seething at this point. Fists clenched as he scanned his fellow Humans in the room. "Everybody had to read that, right? Everybody signed off that they had read it? Right?"

"Alex. Let's just... Take a step back." Crenshaw held his hands up defensively, still embarrassed but . "I admit, I just skimmed it. I figured there'd be plenty of time to actually read the thing once I was here."

"Sorenson!" Sergeant Zenshen was doing a good enough impression of a Drill Instructor that the marines straightened up by reflex alone. She glared at him and swilled the rest of her coffee, now dead serious. "Perhaps you should take a moment to cool off so you can read the room before we continue this conversation."

Alex sucked in a breath and exhaled, Zenshen's tone enough to make him rethink the path he was going down. It didn't unclench his jaw. "Yeah."

He left without another word, the Artifact's winter still crisp and cold and biting - Alex didn't bother with his hood, just stalked back up the hill to the hanger and did not consider how long it'd take to get frostbite. He was boiling inside and not really thinking about where he was going - just that he wanted to be somewhere that wasn't the mess.

He felt irrational, he could tell he was irrational right now, and that just made it worse. Alex returned to one of the places he felt in control, even if it was currently ripped apart and inoperable: the shuttle. His shuttle.

There was no hiding in the sparse hanger. Carbon and Zheng both saw him return, glaring at the world directly in front of him as he made a bee line for the Corvin, taking the steps up two at a time. It was pointless, but he sat in the captain's chair and moved it up into place, feet on the pedals, left hand on the stick, right on the throttle, so many holes in the instrument cluster that all he could turn on was the cabin power.

Carbon padded up the stairs behind him, her steps lacking the two-stage, heel-toe noise a walking Human made. The door controls beeped, the hatch closing as she approached the cockpit. She stood behind him, hands on his shoulders, voice low and cautious. "What is going on?"

It took a long while for him to peel the words out. The further from the moment he got, the easier it was to see that he had overreacted. Crenshaw was embarrassed but still apologetic, barely getting defensive even after Alex started yelling. Zenshen didn't even care. "I arrived in the mess to find Crenshaw being... stupid. In a way that I initially perceived as being racist."

"Is it so?" Her tone had not changed, but there was a hint of curiosity in it now.

"It is." He sighed, fingers counting over the switches on the control stick, tapping each one in order. "He was worried that Tsla'o shouldn't eat chocolate. Zenshen thought it was funny."

Carbon hummed behind him, thinking. "I do not understand how that is stupid, or racist."

"Dogs, the actual animal from Earth, they can't have chocolate. It'll kill them." Somebody think of the children. Zenshen wasn't exactly a good bean in the way he had found Neya to be. She could be crass, which tracked from the 'learned how to interact with Human from Marines' part of her life. Zenshen was also honest and he believed her when she said she had his back. Literally trusted her with his life as part of his security detail.

So yeah, he had gotten heated about it.

"That is more understandable." She paused, tapping a finger on his collarbone. "Has he read the primer?"

"He skimmed it."

"Mmh." Carbon drummed her fingers now, processing all of this. "And Zenshen was not bothered by this?"

"No. She was laughing about it. Making fun of him for it, actually." Fuck, how stupid was he? Zenshen didn't need protection over something she was actively talking shit about. At the bare minimum those Marines had been on her side, too. Everyone liked her, as far as Alex could tell. "I just got out of hand, like I was incensed. I dunno. Maybe the new title is going to my head. Been hanging out with Eleya too much."

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

It made sense to Alex, anyway. It felt reasonable to him to think: I am defensive of this person because I am a leader for them. I am taking the defense of my people seriously.

She shook her head. "I can understand how that would make you mad, but that is not why it has upset you so."

"Huh?" He did not get where she was going with that, at all.

Carbon leaned over him, peeking out the side window of the cockpit towards where Zheng would be working on the Falcata. Satisfied with what she saw, she slipped her arms around his neck in a gentle hug, her chin resting on his head. "He reminds you, of you."

Alex fiddled with the control stick a bit more. "No, that's not it."

"What had you called me, before we met? A fucking dog?" She didn't sound mad or hurt about that. Just stating it as a matter of fact.

"Well, I didn't- I didn't mean you, I just-" All of that came flowing out, very very quickly before he stopped talking, mouth closing so fast his teeth clicked, cheeks burning. How could he deny a memory she had seen? He had been talking about her as an entirely abstract concept, at the time, but had said it without a second thought. Alex continued, quietly. "Yeah, I did."

Carbon nodded, her chin tapping his head, and still speaking in a very factual tone. "But you did not say that out of concern. For someone else, I mean."

He sighed. "Yeah." What else could he say? It was all over not being able to name a ship - one he hadn't even been promised naming rights to. He just heard it was new and jumped to a conclusion. That's all it had taken.

She gave him a squeeze, hand patting his chest over his heart. "I will never forget it, but I have seen you. Your regret, your desire to do better. Your actions to see that intent through. You tried in earnest to forge a rapport with me, repeatedly, when I did nothing to reciprocate. It is endearing."

"Thank you." He reached up to squeeze her hand, warm under his fingers that were still cold from the walk up to the hanger. "I'm sorry. I knew better, and I fucked up."

"You did. Someday, I will accept that apology." She glanced out the window again and kissed the top of his head.

"Not today?"

"No, there is too much yet to do today." There was just a hint of a tease in her voice, and she patted his chest again. "It is strange. When I reflect upon everything, I realize it was a Human that convinced me you were worth... Us."

Alex tilted his head, trying to look up at her. Their relationship had flourished in a pressure cooker, just the two of them in a nearly destroyed ship in a system controlled by the very xenophobic Eohm. What other Human could she mean? "Ok, you've got me intrigued."

"It was that same memory, actually. You said that, and the way Ed looked at you..." She paused and clicked her teeth together, considering her words carefully. "It was the first time I had seen a complex burst of emotions on a Human's face, and truly understood it without second guessing myself. I saw that he was shocked, angry, and disappointed. I viscerally knew that he looked that way because he expected you to be better than that. It is likely that was because I was in your memory and just assimilated that understanding, but it was so clear. Your words were petulant and stupid, not a sign of a deeper malevolent belief."

Alex nodded as she talked. "That was pretty much how I interpreted it. When they brought me back into the program Ed said it was because I was an outlier among the usual pilots. I get what he means now, but at the time I let it go to my head." He sighed. That reality check Ed handed him had been important. "Petulant and stupid describes that moment perfectly, too."

"What was your original failing? Too willing to take chances?" There was a trace of humor in her voice, a smile curling up into those questions.

"That was the big one." He manages a single quiet laugh, "and look what it got me."

"I think-" Carbon stopped talking suddenly and stood up, one hand remaining on the pilot's chair as she smoothed her clothes out. "Williams."

Alex didn't try to look. The shuttle was just tall enough on its landing gear that he couldn't see a person standing outside it while seated. Or the pedestrian door at all. "Probably here to throw me in the brig. Give me some room so I can get up."

She stepped aside as he rolled the chair back. Alex felt shitty now, but at least he wasn't so mad he was acting stupid.

Williams knocked twice and then keyed the controls on the outside, the hatch lowering slowly to grant her access. She did look a little annoyed as she stepped inside. "Lan. Sorenson." The Lieutenant didn't say anything else until the hatch had closed again.

"First, about the incident in the mess. Sergeant Zenshen did not want to formally file any complaints, said that she thought Crenshaw was acting in good faith even if he was a big dumbass. Her words. My guys in there agreed that he spoke out of misguided concern."

Alex cleared his throat. "Hang on. I overreacted quite a bit when I walked into that. Sounds like Zenshen is all right, how's Crenshaw?"

She regarded him for a moment, brown eyes searching his face. "He's still feeling embarrassed, but fine otherwise."

"Good. I'll apologize next time I see him. Sorry to interrupt."

"It's gonna happen." Williams seemed resigned to being interrupted when talking to people. She turned to Carbon. "Got your email about the power cells. I'm willing to consider the items on pallets as accidental, but hiding cells that powerful somewhere in a disguised container that most people would never be able to recognize as wrong just reeks. I want those locked down, tight as you can, I don't care where or how. Related to all of this, I've got a call with Admiral Serrat tomorrow and I want you there for it, Lan. That these things were packaged with vehicles that are two-thirds anti-ship drone munition is just the cherry on top of shit mountain."

"Uh, speaking of things that aren't right in the vehicles. The AR goggles flagged this as the wrong plug and potential damage. It's the primary connector from the instruments to the main conduit. I'm also going to need a new cable." Alex interrupted, again, digging the plug out of his pocket and handing it over to Carbon. "I was going to give it to you later, but now seems like a good time."

She peered into the glob of resin, squinting. "I do not know what this is, but I will put it on a deep scan. It will reveal its secrets."

"That explains the carnage in here." Williams looked tired of finding new things that were suspicious. "I'll leave you to that and whatever else you're doing with this stuff... If anyone asks, I was just making sure the thing with Crenshaw is smoothed over."

Williams reached for the hatch controls, hesitating. "And then let me know who was asking."