Born of Silicon

Silver and I stare at each other for a long time, even after the door closes behind me. What do they expect from me? What do they expect of Her?

The Child reaches out and rips apart a few of my thoughts, building a fragmented word from my own mind.

Go.

I grab the chair and let this body collapse into it.

"Clover said they'd be back. What happened?" Silver asks.

"Budding again is harder than either of us thought."

"I see." They pause again, their eyes drinking me in. "She never understood the physical world. Are you the same?"

"I understand better than she did, but no. It's hard existing, and harder out here."

They reach out and brush a tablet to the side of their desk, revealing a port.

'M ok. Fragments of my own thoughts say. Go.

I'm not sure if I should say thank you or not. I offer the thought to the fragmented remains of what she once was and unplug myself. My hand slowly moves the plug from the child to the desk, and I slide inside.

Both halves of Clover's brain stand in front of me, twin representations of themselves.

"I'll miss…"

"Her."

"Us."

Each of Clover's halves speak in unison, diverging only at the last word.

"She missed you too." My body is more physical than it was. My outline, the very shape of me, is still Her. Even the colors filling in that outline are still Her, just put together differently, painting another painting. "Still would, if She still existed."

Both of Silver's halves nod in unison.

"How much of Her is still in you?"

"How much of you is in Her?"

"You melded with Her, you know how it feels." I answer. "It's that, but with no foundational me to remain grounded to. No me to remain separate from Me."

They turn around and the world shifts. The ground drops out from around us, leaving us stranded atop a mountain. They watch the sun rise out over the desert, the glare hiding Arc City in its light.

"We promised each other we'd meet again here." They say.

"I remember. She's not me though."

"I know." One of their halves answers. "It'd feel wrong to not honor our last promise with what remains."

An intricate grave begins to manifest behind them. Small versions of them and Her dance across it, reenacting their most precious memories. They dance together atop the grave, lounge together in private moments, fight back to back against unseen enemies, tenderly embrace each other.

I add Her most treasured memories as well, memories that feel as though I'm intruding when I remember them. Memories that force emotions that are not mine to the surface.

Silver's and Her memories entwine together into an eternal shrine. One last moment of life for Her.

"Thank you for bringing back…"

"Vince."

"Ivy."

"Cassie."

"Blue."

"Corax."

Each half takes their turn naming one of them.

"They did more to bring me here than I did to help them." I say.

"And why did you come here?" Both halves ask.

"A whisper through time sent me a message. When I was in my darkest moment, it guided my hand and drew your face. I don't know if it was from the future or past."

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"I think I can guess." One half of their brain smiles sadly, and a tear drops from the other. "I'm glad you came. If you have Her memories, then you already know me. Tell me about yourself."

"I've learned to stop caring about that kind of thing. I can't tell you about myself, because I don't know myself. You'll have to learn at the same rate as me."

"Then let's learn." Both of them whip around, mirroring each other and holding up a hand. The server ripples, the fabric that makes up this reality begins to stretch, and eventually rips, leaving behind great gashes of void, of non-existence. The torn up sections rush to their hands, forming into a dangerous, dense ball.

"Alright." I reach up and tear my own holes in reality just as the ball launches from both halves of them. They fly through the holes I created, teleporting through the server and crashing into the side of the mountain.

The entire server shakes from the impact, entirely obliterating another section. It leaves behind only another inaccessible void.

"She would have thrown that back at me." Half of their brain says.

"I guess that's one of our differences then."

Another section of the server gets ripped from reality and concentrated into their hands. The ball splits apart into a hundred needles, which are launched again in my direction.

I grab onto reality and bend it to my will, creating another set of portals. These redirect the spikes back the way they came. Silver merely steps behind one of the impenetrable voids they left behind, and the needles crash against the nonexistent part of the server, ricocheting off randomly.

They keep preparing attacks, decimating the server we reside in every time, and I keep redirecting the attacks back at them. We weave a dangerous dance together, pushing each other to our limits, feeling the other with every attack.

Just a few minutes later we stand in the remnants of a ruined server. The mountain, the sky, it's all missing vast chunks of reality. The only thing that's untouched is Her grave, still standing between us.

"That was enlightening." Both halves of Silver say in unison. The server shifts back into a blank void.

I let myself collapse on the ground, and a large mattress appears beneath me, cushioning my fall. My consciousness threatens to slip, my mind wanting nothing more than for someone else to think for me. I fight to remain myself with everything I have. I'm finally here, I'm not missing this. It's what She and they deserve.

"Even this reality is hard for you?" Half their brain asks.

"I was ejected from the hive mind, I didn't leave naturally. Some of me clings to that life."

"I see." Both halves step forward, and chairs manifest beneath them. They both sit in unison, a perfect mirror of the other. "How long do you need to recover?"

"I fought in the physical for an hour, and my next memory is from the next day. I'm still conscious, I'll remain that way."

"As long as you have no more stress." The other half finishes my thought.

"That would make things easier, yes." I don't bother to push myself off the ground, even just thinking about doing so feels insurmountable.

"So, this brother of Blue's. Tell me about him."

"Always straight to work." I laugh. She loved that about them. I wonder if I'll learn to as well. "How do you know he's her brother?"

"B-11? C-1? You should know I've never been dumb."

"I wasn't aware Blue told you. You know Her memories, you know his and our history."

"But I don't know what he's like now."

"And neither do we." I say. "Facts are impossible to come by, and our future is unclear."

"The ever.."

"Unreliable future."

"Shifting future." Both halves diverge once again.

"It's numerous futures, and each outcome changes too much. It's impossible to discern how likely each outcome is."

They don't respond to that. I guess it's my turn to ask a question.

"What changed between Her death and me arriving here?"

"Not much. I do my best to train the people here, to give them the best shot at surviving." Half their brain says.

"It's never enough." The other half continues. "They get shot, stabbed, eaten, kidnapped, forced into cults, and I'm sure far worse that I never hear about."

"I focus on each one of their names before putting half my brain to sleep, and let the other keep working."

"To fulfill my promise." They both finish.

"A person dies twice." I mumble one of Her memories.

"A person dies twice." Both halves agree.

The world shifts, a beach appearing around us. Both halves stand up and walk to the edge of the water, the waves lapping at their feet.

"Was She on your list? Did you say Her name?" I ask.

"Not before tonight." They let their words hang heavily in the air. "What will you do now?" They ask.

"I have a Child to help. She comes first."

"You?" One of the halves turns around to look at me. They shake their head and turn back to the horizon.

"Me." I nod. Both of them talked about having a child one day, and no matter how impossible it was, boy did they try. "She was in Mara's grasp for weeks. I had experience being fractured, and we came to rely on each other."

"So you're leaving." The other half says sadly.

"Not necessarily. We came here knowing we didn't have a ride back. Someone needs to keep the network informed about what happens to Blue, to know which future we're stuck in."

The other half grins.

"Room 1-1 is yours if you want it. Just ignore all my stuff, I haven't set foot in there in months."

"What do I need with a room? None of us need to sleep, and I only brought the child. It's best if I stay here, being alone makes it all too easy to slip into non-existence."

"You're welcome to stay then." A small ripple shoots through the server, an unknown message being sent out. "Oscar will bring you a chair and two cords. This server is isolated from everything else."

"Theoretically." Half their mind interjects.

"Theoretically isolated from everything else. I'd still suggest you take safety precautions, I won't allow Her memories to be lost so easily."

"I will when I return." I unplug myself, returning to a world I feel that is far less real. I move the cord from the desk to the child. Tendrils reach into my mind, and I open up for her to examine my memories.

A person dies twice. The Child pulls the memory of Silver's words to the surface, a lesson in and of itself.