(Book 2 Complete!) Tales of the Endless Empire [LitRPG Apocalypse]

Chapter 239: Friendly Banter



Thalion had been seething with fury the entire night and thankfully, there had been more than enough witches for him to unleash his wrath upon. The battlefield served as both his stage and his laboratory, giving him a chance to further experiment with the enigmatic crimson flames now at his command. To the others, he must have seemed utterly deranged, methodically incinerating one witch after another—sometimes slowly, almost cruelly. But Thalion had a purpose behind the madness. He wanted to see if he could ignite their blood from within, to make it burn like oil in a furnace. Unfortunately, that still eluded him. Blood, while not flammable itself, appeared to intensify the flames upon contact, an observation he noted with satisfaction. It was not enough, not yet. But this was only the first step. In this new world, time was an ally, and he would use it to master his craft.

Now that the fortress was theirs, every last witch and their allies either slain or driven away, it was time to address the army. Some had escaped—Amalia and Jim among them—but most lay dead or dying. The black fortress now served as their main base of operations, while the rest of their forces remained at the original stronghold to continue leveling up. Portals were once again active, and movement bustled between the two locations. Thalion himself had even lent a hand to Kaldrek and Maike in organizing the chaos. But there was still unease among the ranks—whispers of his brutal efficiency, questions left unanswered. It was time to speak, to set the record straight. Slowly, Thalion descended from the skies, crimson mist trailing behind him like a cloak, as hundreds turned their eyes to him.

"I must admit," he began, his voice calm but cutting through the air like a blade, "that was deeply satisfying. In hindsight, I should have dealt with them much earlier." A few nervous chuckles rippled through the crowd. "Now that the pests are gone, we can focus on our real mission: destroying the pillars before time runs out. Until nightfall, we rest. Then we march for the catacomb."

He paused, scanning the sea of faces. "Some of you may already know that Kael and Sylas tried to kill me back on the third stage. Chances are, they'll try again. Manipulative bastards that they are, I wouldn't be surprised if they've taken most of their base with them. If you encounter their people or Kael himself in the catacombs, I don't care whether you fight them or not. But if you see him, I expect you to report his position. I have unfinished business with that man."

With that, murmurs swelled across the courtyard, but Thalion gave them no time for questions. His form dissolved into blood mist once more, vanishing toward one of the black towers where Kaldrek, Maike, Kargul, Evelyn, Vorlok, Josh, and Jack were already waiting—not for battle plans, not yet, but to unwind and banter like old friends.

They were already lounging around—except for Vorlok, who floated in the air like a bloated balloon. Kargul casually tossed chunks of meat skyward, which the massive turtle snapped up with greedy delight. Most sat on their self-brought couches or chairs. Jack, however, had conjured a ridiculous golden throne and now looked down smugly at Josh, who reclined on a normal seat with a disarming grin.

"Damn, what took you so long? We were already arguing about who burned the most witches," Kaldrek called out, visibly tipsy and slouched to one side. In front of him, a table overflowed with vodka shots—many of which seemed to have disappeared into either Kargul or Evelyn, both of whom appeared completely unfazed.

"I didn't take that long," Thalion replied with a smirk. "You do realize we march again in a few hours?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm aware. Why are you asking?" Kaldrek muttered, barely keeping himself upright.

"Ah, nothing. Just forget I said anything," Thalion chuckled, pulling out his massage chair and easing into it. The comfort hit like a blessing after a day of slaughter. He closed his eyes with a sigh.

"I say we blast the undead base above the catacomb to ashes, then swarm the place like ants," Kaldrek declared suddenly, raising his glass again.

"That's the plan," Maike chimed in before anyone could ignore the drunken war cry. "We can still use Jim's light formation to hammer them from a distance."

"I just wonder how deep those catacombs go... and what treasures lie hidden inside. It can't be just the pillar, right?" Maike mused, a greedy glint dancing in her eyes.

"More importantly," Thalion added, his tone turning sharper, "there will be more vampires to kill."

"Oh, and just so everyone's aware—my kill count for both witches and vampires is higher than Josh's," Jack announced with a wide grin from atop his golden throne.

Josh only snorted in response, rolling his eyes and turning away.

"By the way," Evelyn chimed in with a teasing smile as she sipped the powerful vodka, "you said you had to stop killing because Josh needed to recover. What exactly happened?"

"Absolutely nothing of importance," Josh muttered, clearly trying to change the subject.

But Jack leaned forward with delight, cutting him off. "Oh, I'll gladly explain, Evelyn, dearest. So, it all began with Josh valiantly fighting a group of witches. He dealt with the controlled fighters rather efficiently.I'd give his performance a solid seven out of ten."

"Seven?!" Josh interrupted, glaring at Jack. "Were you even watching? Or were you too busy counting tentacles again?"

Jack laughed and waved a hand magnanimously. "Alright, alright. Let's be generous and bump it up to an eight. Anyway, after he cleared out the brutes, only the witches and a few mages remained…"

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"Eight?" Josh crossed his arms indignantly. "That fight deserved at least a nine. Sure, it could've gone a bit smoother but I styled on them."

"Enough about scores," Evelyn said, leaning forward with interest. "What happened after the fighting?"

"Yes, tell us," Kargul bellowed, slapping his thigh with amusement. "Did Josh get kissed by a tiny little witch?"

"I dare you to—" Josh began, but Jack cut in with a wicked grin.

"Indeed, he did. One moment he's fending off multiple enemies, the next—this witch just strolls over, pushes him to the ground, and they start making out like a pair of teenagers. She was quite... enthusiastic. Didn't even let him move while shoving her tongue down his throat."

At that, the entire group erupted in laughter—except for Josh, whose face turned scarlet as he reached for a bottle of vodka.

As the first round of laughter died down, Jack continued, utterly indifferent to Josh's embarrassment.

"You have to understand my confusion. I was hovering above, invisible, watching my dear comrade being overpowered and I do mean that literally by a very determined woman. Their tongues were dancing a duet! I'm certain Josh picked up a few new techniques for the future."

"Haha! Oh, I love you two!" Kargul roared, slapping his knee again. "How long did it last? We need to spread the tale of Josh's heroic struggle against the seductive arts of the witches!" Evelyn chimed in.

"I don't think that's necessary," Josh muttered, hoping to end the conversation.

"Oh, it wasn't that long," Jack said with mock seriousness. "Looked like my boy was about to pass out from lack of oxygen, so I stepped in and pulled her off. Let him enjoy it for a bit, though. Honestly, I think Josh might be our number one bachelor now."

"Maybe we should ask one of the female healers to check for... lingering injuries," Maike added with a laugh, nearly spilling her drink.

"Okay, seriously, you all need to stop," Josh groaned, as the group howled with laughter, some even wiping away tears of joy.

Only Thalion remained quiet, his attention drifting to Vorlok, who swallowed a whole chunk of meat in a single gulp. The scene stirred a thought in his mind.

"Kargul," he asked, curiosity creeping into his voice, "how did you bring Vorlok to the higher stages? I thought beasts like him could only teleport to the new planet, not advance through the stages like us?"

The memory of the vine horses flashed through his mind. Had he abandoned them needlessly? Regret pricked at his conscience. Especially the talking one; it would've made a hilarious addition to their circle, assuming Vorlok didn't eat it.

"Because he's my friend, of course!" Kargul bellowed, pounding a fist to his chest with pride.

Clearly, Thalion wasn't getting a real answer. Still, it wasn't urgent. Beast trainers likely had a method of bringing their companions with them. Either that, or Vorlok possessed a unique skill enabling it to ascend stages.

"Oh, and one more thing," Kargul said after a short pause, voice lowering into a growl. "Next time I see that red orc. I'm going to smash his face in."

"I'm after that red witch, she nearly killed me once, and I intend to return the favor," Jack said with a grin, a glint of fire in his eyes.

"No," Evelyn cut in sharply, her tone cold and final. "Cathrin is mine."

Her voice held such icy conviction that no one dared argue. Even Jack, known for pushing buttons, raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Speaking of which," Thalion began, raising an eyebrow, "I meant to ask earlier—aren't you a healer, Evelyn? How exactly do you plan to kill a witch?"

He had heard the rumors—stories of Evelyn assassinating multiple orcs during the surprise assault days earlier. It didn't quite match the picture of a healer.

"Eve's a silent smasher," Kargul chimed in, grinning proudly as he took another swig of vodka. "You never see her smash—but oh, it works."

"Yeah, right," Thalion muttered under his breath, only half-convinced. Still, his interest was piqued. Evelyn had changed significantly since he first met her. What exactly had her so-called healing goddess told her? And why did her energy feel... different now?

"So, how did you become a 'silent smasher'?" he pressed, voice more curious than confrontational. "Weren't you once blessed by a goddess of healing?"

The question hung in the air, heavy and unwelcome. A long silence followed, the kind that stretches and strains until something has to give. Evelyn's eyes dropped, her hands clenched around her cup—and then finally, she spoke.

"I rejected my first patron," she said quietly. "I have a new one now. And it seems... my old goddess placed me on a kill list for it."

"What?!" Kargul roared, his mood flipping instantly. He hurled the empty vodka bottle to the ground, where it exploded into glittering shards. "If someone comes to kill you, I'll smash them into the ground!"

"You still haven't told us the name of your new patron," Thalion said, once Kargul had simmered down again. "Not that I know much about the gods anyway... but I'm curious."

Evelyn hesitated for a moment longer, then exhaled deeply in defeat.

"Alright, but you have to promise not to tell anyone."

Everyone nodded solemnly. Even Jack lowered his playful expression.

"My new patron is a goddess known as the Spider Queen. She's the antithesis of my old goddess. Instead of pure healing, I now wield both restoration and deadly force."

Thalion blinked. Jack sat forward in shock. "The Spider Queen?"

"You mean the one that traps gods in her web and drains them for power?" Jack asked, eyes wide. "The same being who weaves nightmare spells from divine essence? She's one of the few things even grasshoppers fear!"

Evelyn furrowed her brow. "How do you know that? I didn't even know about the god-trapping thing."

"He talked to the voice of the System about it," Josh cut in with a sigh, as if he'd heard the story far too many times. "Back when he was getting his new form."

Thalion narrowed his eyes, his thoughts drifting back. "Wait... you don't have anything to do with the spider we saw in the jungle, do you?"

It struck him then. That moment they met Evelyn for the first time—how strangely coincidental it had all felt. Could that tiny black spider they encountered have sent out a signal she responded to?

"Oh no," Kargul groaned as the realization began to dawn. His left eye twitched, betraying the vodka's toll on him. "Don't tell me your real form is a black, hairy spider!"

In his drunken state, he misjudged another toss—this time hurling a vodka bottle toward Vorlok instead of a bone. The sky-turtle, half-asleep, opened his mouth instinctively. His eyes widened in dismay as he registered the burning liquid sliding down his throat.

Evelyn recoiled slightly, looking genuinely shocked. "What? No! I don't have a spider form and I'm definitely not getting one either!"

"Back to the real question," Thalion said, trying to steer the conversation back on track, "It wasn't a coincidence we met after I cleared out those jungle spiders, was it?"

He glanced at Evelyn, his eyes narrowing slightly. He still remembered the skittering shadows that lurked behind them when they fought the vampires near the Black Fortress. Could that strange presence have been drawn to her, or worse sent by her?


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