Chapter 65: Apathy
"Thank you once again, Honoured Elder. I understand you had your apprehensions in regard to this affair."
Divine Viands were not to be carelessly used. For the last thousand years, the Corpus of the Beheaded Phoenix had been repeatedly plundered for parts to consume. What was once a bountiful spread of Divine sustenances that seemed endless had long been reduced to mere bones and skins. The Sect could not feast like their ancestors once had, and must be prudent in their use of the remaining resources available within the Corpse.
"A man in my position is not at liberty to provide Divine Viands on a whim, even to the Young Master of our beloved Sect," the Elder half-admonished. "Yet, unorthodox as it might be, even I could see the necessity of it. It would not do for the groom to provide a poor showing, especially with so many eyes on the wedding. And besides, you had the Patriarch's approval. I was hardly about to deny a direct command."
Feng now stood in the Fifth Step of the Third Realm, while his wife-to-be was in the first Step of the Fifth Realm. The difference in their strength was still night and day, but the gap had been slightly narrowed.
More importantly, with Feng's cultivation improving multiple Steps within so short a time frame, his potential might be perceived to match Lianshi. That he needed Divine Viands to achieve such a feat was irrelevant, for the public would never know of it.
"Perhaps with this, the rumours of my impending doom will cease," Feng said as he donned his robes. "It ill-befits a Young Master to complain about mere slander, but the sheer volume and audacity of what I've heard have begun to tax me."
The gossip grew ever more ludicrous with each passing day. With so many guests and visitors currently within the monastery's walls, it appeared as if their malicious mockery had multiplied tenfold.
The Young Master considered himself a reasonable individual, so the veiled insults at his person mattered little. Rather, it was the ones directed at Lianshi that fouled his mood.
His Fiancée had spurned the affections of countless suitors, many of whom were cultivators whose standing exceeded Feng's and therefore thought themselves to be the superior choice. Their pride was thus insulted, doubly so given how Lianshi had utterly lacked tact in her refusal.
Unable to challenge her directly, they instead resort to less conventional means to assault her reputation.
"It is the burden of greater men to be plagued by the falsehood and defamation of their lesser," the Elder said contemptuously. "Pay them little mind, Young Lord, lest these worms deviate your cultivation from its proper course."
The Young Master could not resist. "Would this be advice from experience, Honoured Elder?"
The man scowled. "You have been spending too much time with that wretch you call a Senior Brother. He is a terrible influence."
Feng could not help but give a tired smile. "Senior Brother Dai's wisdom is often simple, but profound nonetheless. I find great value in his company."
"I question not his wisdom, Young Master. It has long been made clear to me that Dai is both a man of vicious strength and cunning," the Elder admitted freely, to Feng's surprise. "Rather, it is his childish indolence that offends me."
Indolence?
"Senior Brother's dedication to the Sect and his Juniors is without question," Feng stated bluntly. "That he had found your abuse of the Sparring Hall and intervened is a mark in his favour, and one against yours."
Months ago, it was found that Elder Jun had been escalating the battles within the Sparring Hall to cull the weaker disciples. Feng had eventually confronted the man, but the Elder had not even bothered to deny the accusations.
And, to the Young Master's great frustration, neither was the man ever punished for it by the Patriarch.
"Harsh as it may be, Elder Jun had not committed any wrongdoings. The Sparring Hall exists to weed out those whose cultivation is found wanting, and the casualty rates under his care never exceeded the expected amounts," his Father had told him. "Besides, your accusation that he was harvesting your Juniors for his own sustenance was found false. Rather, it appears the man has taken to personally mentor a new Disciple, one whose talents appear to be profoundly singular, and thus worth nurturing through the sacrifice of those less worthy."
His Father might tolerate Feng's altruism, but that did not mean the Patriarch shared his views.
"True, the man shows proper devotion to the Sect. Yet his cultivation has undoubtedly been stagnant, and that is unforgivable. Twice the Sect had painstakingly procured the greatest cuts of Divine meat for his breakthrough. Twice he has utterly failed."
Elder Jun's eyes flashed for a moment before he composed himself and continued. "He plays at being a Disciple when he should already have taken to his duties as Elder. Then, he dares insert himself in my affairs, flaunting his strength when it suits him."
"We do not choose when our bottlenecks occur," Feng defended. "And in any case, Dai is content with his position."
"Is that what he tells you?" The man shook his head. "He lies. In that forlorn idiot's heart, he is still waiting for a miracle that will never happen. I mean this with the greatest respect when I say that it would have been better if your late Sister had never interacted with that man."
The Young Master clenched his fist, looking away. He said nothing.
The Elder sighed. "We have diverted off-topic. Back to the matter of your marriage, the event is set to easily be the most important occasion for the Beheaded Phoenix Sect in centuries. Never could anyone have imagined the sheer value that your Fiancée's hand would reach in a mere decade. It is a windfall that beggars belief, both for you and the Sect. If the Patriarch had listened to the opposing Elders those years ago, or if the Split-headed Carnivores had sought the other Sects for a marriage alliance instead… I shudder to think of the lost opportunity."
Feng grimaced. "Elder Jun need not tell me what I already know."
"Do you?" The man's piercing gaze set upon him. "I fail to see the evidence of that knowledge in your recent actions. Rather than using the remaining weeks well to ingrain yourself into the Young Miss's trust, or at the very least spend as much time with her before you will inevitably have to compete for her attention, you have instead taken every opportunity to avoid her company, fleeing from her as if she were a pox-ridden rat."
The Young Master's eyes flashed. "Take care of your words. I will not allow you to insult her so freely."
"I simply follow the Young Lord's example," the Elder countered, utterly unfazed. "You, who so easily shame her every day by evading her presence entirely when she so clearly desires your attention. You, who forced her to seek you out publicly, harming her reputation and feelings more deeply than my insults ever could. For what does it say about her when her chosen Fiancé — fortunate and blessed beyond conceivable measure — actively shuns the woman who has enraptured all others within the Province with ease? What dark, secret failings must she surely hold, that the Young Master would so carelessly neglect the affection that men would so readily despair over for?"
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Feng gritted his teeth. His silent Heart twitched. "If you have words for me, I'd rather you speak them plainly."
"I already have, but since you insist, I shall speak them once more." Elder Jun sighed. "I would urgently ask the Young Master to cease his foolishness. Whatever grievance you have with your wife-to-be must be buried immediately. Your senseless actions are jeopardising the engagement, and if it is this bad before the marriage even begins, I shudder to think what problems will arise once the union is finalised."
"My affairs are my own," the Young Master snapped. In the corner of his eyes, he saw the same flash of green and red again. It had been occurring so much more frequently now that he barely batted an eye.
"You know that is not remotely true," the Elder scoffed. "Do not insult your intelligence with such remarks. You are well aware of how important the Young Miss is to our Sect. Once her fate is tied to yours, any of her achievements would benefit us as well. Her prodigious cultivation and youth would require her to leave for the Border Gate Sects soon, for there is little the Outer Provinces can offer her here at her current advancement. Her strength and beauty would naturally cause others to gravitate towards her. I need not tell you how ludicrously fortuitous it would be for the Beheaded Phoenix Sect to secure political ties with those of the Inner Provinces. Doubly so if you ensured they were to be… permanent."
"What expression would the girl make, I wonder, if her Beloved Husband were to request permission to auction her womb for his own gains? What thoughts would she hold, one shudders, when she inevitably forces herself to say 'yes'?"
"Such is the depth of affection she holds for you… Would she ever refuse your command?"
Feng snarled. "Not another word! Both of you!"
Elder Jun frowned. "Both?"
The Young Master bit back a curse. "My spiritual balance is still affected," he harshly spat. "I require rest. This conversation is over."
"... As you wish." The Elder bowed, concealing his expression. "The night is late. I would recommend returning to your quarters. The servants should have prepared you a modest supper to speed your recovery. I understand the Young Miss is also already in the estate, eagerly awaiting your arrival."
Feng, who had already begun marching towards the cave entrance, stumbled at that last statement. A heartbeat passed before he forced himself to stride forth again.
A dark and wholly familiar despair filled his mind, even as he stubbornly avoided the Jade gaze of his Heart's Devil.
~~~
The supper was indeed modest. It did little to sate the Hunger that coursed within his soul. His newly reforged Dantian was still adjusting to the enormous surge of vitality, and they demanded the taste of spiritual flesh.
Pity he had none to give them that night. It worsened his mood even further.
"You are back!" Lianshi leapt from his bed the moment he stepped into his room. She was dressed conservatively, far more so than what her usual Sect attire provided. She eagerly rushed to him, but held herself back at the last moment from touching him, even as her fingers reached out.
All for him. All to accommodate him.
When had he grown so distant from her?
"How… How was the breakthrough?" she asked tentatively.
"It was fine," he replied neutrally, walking past her outstretched hand. He pretended to ignore the way her face fell. "I am tired. I would like to retire."
"Of course! Sorry, that was thoughtless of me…"
Lianshi trailed behind him. When he disrobed for his sleeping attire, she purposefully looked away and kept her distance. As he entered the bed, he found his side of the linens already pleasantly warm, rather than the freezing cold as was typical that time of the year.
"I've warmed a spot for you," Lianshi meekly whispered, keeping away from the bed. "I hope that's alright. You were always complaining how the cold makes it difficult for you to sleep…"
"I…" Feng squeezed his eyes shut. He did not deserve her. "Thank you."
The sheets were soft and sinfully warmed, heated by Lianshi's elevated temperatures in the cold. The moment he entered the duvets, his mind was lured towards slumber…
"I will leave you to your rest, then," his Fiancée softly said. "Goodnight, Feng."
The Young Master forced his eyes open. "You are not joining me?"
As was expected for engaged couples, they had already been sharing their nights together to acclimate their bodies to each other's qi. However, the two of them faced considerable difficulties, in significant part due to Feng's increasing reluctance to maintain any semblance of intimacy between them.
He pushed himself up, facing Lianshi. Her form was already halfway out the window, legs braced to jump, her form half-reinforced by the black plates of her transformation technique. Cast against the jade moonlight, silver streaks illuminating the perfect features of her face, she appeared immaculately beautiful.
None of that distracted him from the sadness in her eyes.
"You sleep better when I'm not around." She smiled, lovely beyond compare. "It's alright. I'll see you in the morning."
"Wait."
Just as she was about to leap, Lianshi paused. Feng pushed aside the warmed blankets and strode over to her. The orange glow of her eyes brightened as the Young Master reached to cup her cheeks.
She was easily the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in the flesh. More than that, she was his. His wife to cherish. To love. To share his life with. There was not a single man who would not have killed to be in his position.
Feng stared into her eyes. He pleaded for his Heart to stir, to feel something for her. Anything but this wretched apathy.
Let me love her, he begged. I need to love her! She deserves better than this!
There was nothing.
The light in Lianshi's light fell. He leaned in to kiss her, but the moment was passed. Lianshi turned her head and gently pulled his hands from her cheek. She lightly placed his fingers against her lips before releasing him.
"Goodnight, Feng."
She fell through the window. The Young Master thought he saw something glistening fall from her eyes as she leapt.
When he finally found the will to return to his bed, the sheets were wretchedly cold once more.
Bottlenecks
Tribulations assail cultivators as they ascend. Such things are as natural as witnessing lightning in a storm or frost on a mountaintop. The degree of such Tribulations holds a great many varieties, however, as do the consequences they carry for failing.
A bottleneck is a common tribulation in cultivation, referring to a point of unusual stagnation or difficulty encountered when trying to advance to a higher Realm or Step in advancement. The stage at which a cultivator might face a bottleneck differs greatly, though it is generally agreed upon that such trials are inevitable for as long as one threads the Path to Mount Tai.
Further progress becomes extremely challenging or even impossible due to several possible factors: insufficient spiritual comprehension, weak foundation, or a lack of resources. The true reason might even be none of these things at all, and stem instead from a far darker or obscure nature.
Regardless, the nature of bottlenecks makes them a hindrance at best and a crippling condition at worst. There are countless tales of cultivators being stuck in their advancement for years, decades, even centuries on end, as nothing they do could advance their Path, regardless of time or resources invested. Such things could drive cultivators to despair, especially as they watch their peers advance unhindered.
This, naturally, leads to the cultivator committing ever greater atrocities to break their bottleneck. For the sake of one's Immortality, no manner of deed is too dark. Legends of desperate Patriarchs devouring entire villages or Clans are rather common, and — regrettably enough — often still insufficient at relieving them of their stagnation.
– Excerpt from To Those Worthy of the Eternal Banquet
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