NOVEL NEXT With my death as the end, I regained my bodily freedom.
Given that this is my subconscious, I questioned whether calling it freedom of the body was even appropriate… but perhaps a more fitting expression would be that I regained control over my subconscious.
Thanks to this regained control, my subconscious started to reflect my intentions. Before I knew it, instead of an formless existence, I had returned to a body I had become all too familiar with.
As long as I wished for it, I could easily transform into my former self as a teacher. If I truly desired it, I could also take on the appearance of a user from Blue Archive.
But I held back.
It wasn’t so much that I was holding back, rather, I didn’t want to. Having grown accustomed to a female body, I wondered if returning to a male body would only complicate things for me. Ultimately, even if I were to go back, it wouldn’t change anything in the real world, so it was all a futile thought anyway.
Before I knew it, the scenery around me transformed into a location on the Trinity campus. Approaching the central fountain, I waved at Himari, who was blinking and scanning her surroundings.
Though it was called a plaza, this space was completely empty. Perhaps it was because I wished for it to be so.
“Mika-chan…?”
“Yep, it’s me. Do you honestly think there’s another exquisite girl like me in the world?”
To be honest, I was in a rather troubled state. This was understandable, considering I had discovered a truth I never expected.
However, it seemed that Himari was equally troubled. Her gaze made it sufficiently obvious.
After all, she had seen the very same things I had witnessed, so it wasn’t difficult for her to understand. To lighten the mood, I decided to throw in a half-serious, half-joking remark.
“…I have my own thoughts on that, you know, Mika-chan. Do you really think it’s appropriate to say ‘one-of-a-kind’ when you’re standing before such a beautiful sickly girl?”
In response to my question, Himari walked confidently toward me.
I feel a little awkward saying this, but no matter how often I see Himari walk like that, I just can’t get used to it…
“I can guarantee that if Mika-sensei had met me, she would have fallen head over heels for me! Yes. If I had been given a chance, being the most pure and delicate girl of the Millennium, practically flying away with the slightest breeze, and beautiful inside and out…!”
“Mika-sensei? No, more importantly, Himari-chan, do you have a thing for that sort of person?”
“Eh? I don’t quite understand the meaning of your question…?”
“What I mean is, do you find the appearance of ‘me as your teacher’ appealing—”
“No, not specifically.”
“Eh?”
Someone might wonder if she was dead serious, given how determined her response was.
Just as I was about to express my doubts about that statement, Himari, hands on her hips, began to speak.
“Admitting that Mika-sensei is beautiful is undeniable; however, talking about preferences is a different matter. Yes, I have a definite taste, Mika-chan!”
Saying that, Himari squared her shoulders and puffed out her chest.
Thud.
The sound of her deflating seemed almost audible. As someone who generally prefers a fuller figure, I could only lament.
If Himari had a narcissism drawer as big as her self-love, that would certainly be…
Definitely…
Definitely something undesirably large, I would think?
Wouldn’t it be better if she just had none at all?
“First of all, the answer to my preferences and ideals from a microscopic perspective lies in the mirror.”
“Ah, that’s definitely… yes, true.”
“Isn’t that right? Perfect and flawless beauty, femme fatale… a true stunner that could distract nations. Such extravagant epithets are bound to dull the concept of beauty. So, unless a girl reaches the level of someone like Mika-chan whom I acknowledge, only then would it stir my emotions.”
“…I think you’re pretty too.”
If I say something like that, would it just be gilding my own face? But what can I do—it’s the truth. Objectively speaking, I could hardly believe that I would go out and try to pick up girls if I weren’t someone with a fairly high self-esteem when I was a teacher; I was beautiful enough for it not to seem outlandishly impossible.
Of course, accepting the fact that I am that teacher is a separate issue; it seems it would take me a bit longer to fully regard myself as that same person…
Now, perhaps because I’m a woman, it seems that Himari was fussing over how I might imply that ‘Mika-sensei? Pretty, but maybe not that pretty?’
Could it be that I revealed my feelings too openly?
“Of course, aside from that, I’ve truly realized how powerful the appeal of a mature adult can be, regardless of preference. Yes, I’m extremely serious about this right now. As a delicate, ailing beauty, I can vouch for that!”
“…Heueng.”
With wide eyes, Himari attempted to smile while fumbling to choose her words. If this situation were drawn as a comic, there would surely have been a depiction of her sweating profusely.
I thought it was truly like bowing down to receive flattery, but I didn’t feel all that bad about it. Given how obvious it was when praising Mika’s appearance, it felt different… yes.
In any case, seeing Himari making an effort to match my mood made it clear that she was definitely aware of my feelings. While that thought was somewhat cute, on the other hand, my long-neglected conscience was poking at me.
It was me who had lost my mind over Mika and had effectively ended the world once. And I had also practically confessed my feelings to Mika at the end.
Ultimately, it wouldn’t be possible to cut off all other relationships just because of Mika. Rather, if I had to choose someone, I could only raise my hand for Nagisa.
The problem didn’t end there. If Mika’s feelings for me remained unchanged, that in itself would pose a problem. After all, I was currently taking on the same appearance as Mika.
Despite the fact that my appearance had altered slightly due to the colored influences, the core being remained the same.
I wonder what Mika’s reaction would be if she found out that the one she had feelings for had to live her entire life as her own self…
…I don’t know. Let’s stop pondering over that for now.
The human heart is truly fickle and reckless. Not long ago, I was nearly crushed by guilt. How much time has passed that I am now thinking about the feelings of the surrounding kids and our relationships?
Looking at this, I can’t help but think that I was never really cut out to be a teacher. I can’t even understand how I ended up in that position.
“By the way, Mika-chan, do you see this? Fufu, this is the powerful model walking of Perfect Himari… Gyaa!?”
…I gently caught Himari, who had tumbled backward in a ridiculous pose, and decided to lay all the blame on Mika.
Seriously, who told her to be born this pretty? You’re so beautiful that you’re making my life a struggle!
Truly, even I think this excuse is ridiculous. At this point, denying it just seems embarrassing.
What can I do, considering how indecisive and easily swayed I am? It’s all my fault.
The reality was that I had no grounds left to blame anyone else.
*
After receiving help from Himari and escaping from my subconscious, two pieces of good news, along with one piece of bad news, reached me.
First, the good news. We managed to destroy all the remaining false sanctuaries in a timely manner—a very satisfying report.
The other piece of good news was that Hina, who had been in a scuffle with Mika, was confirmed to be unharmed. She was currently receiving basic first aid, and I planned to hug her all day long later, telling her she had done great.
However, the following bad news doused cold water over everyone in Kivotos.
The content of that news was that the entire false sanctuary was showing signs of recovery.
The student council and the teacher seized this trend during the time I was absent and delved deeply into that matter. Although there is still some time, the circumstances for the students weren’t so forgiving.
Just looking at D.U., post-trouble management didn’t seem easy. Moreover, the Trinity side was in chaos due to the specters of the Justina Temple Association appearing through the Catacombs across the autonomous districts, and the students who had been in combat non-stop so far desperately needed rest.
It wasn’t even an issue that could simply be resolved. The crux was whether destroying the newly emerged sanctuaries would make any difference at all.
If everything we had exerted our sweat and effort into until now to destroy the sanctuaries could become meaningless in an instant, what guarantee did we have that the next attempt would be any different?
Indeed, after meticulous analysis of the energy flow of such sanctuaries, even if we succeeded in destroying all sanctuaries as we did before, the likelihood of them continuing to recover was very high.
This was unsurprising since the key that enabled such sanctuary recovery was something central to all energy flows.
[The center of the energy flow is… above the sky of Kivotos. At an altitude of 75,000 meters.]
So, it meant we had to destroy something drifting up there in the stratosphere to survive.
“Right now, I can think of several possible methods to reach that point.”
“…The possibility aside, whether we can actually use that is a separate story, isn’t it?”
“That part is a little hard to deny. Hmm. Moreover, this isn’t exactly my area of expertise…”
Himari, who had returned to her original self, looked up at me with a serious expression.
I had a hunch about the methods she was contemplating.
First, a weapon based on the legacy of the Nameless Priests that Rion possessed.
This option seemed to fade away when the Ark of Atrahasis came to mind.
Second, Utnapishtim’s Ship.
While there had been attempts to repair it after crashing into the Ark, they yielded no significant results.
Third, the Ark of Atrahasis.
If I could somehow rely on the power of Aris, in other words, Kay, it might be possible to use it… but the condition of that Ark was even worse than that of Utnapishtim’s Ship.
At the time, the Ark had been able to function normally to mitigate its crash speed, but it’s anyone’s guess whether it could rise again after crashing to the ground now.
So…
“We have no way.”
“Yes, none.”
While saying this, I was surprisingly calm. Himari seemed to have noticed my demeanor.
“That’s right. I understand the reason for this necessity.”
The process of regaining my memories was originally meant to seek genuine assistance from Mika.
Given how circumstances had turned, it was abundantly clear what Mika needed to do for us.
“Given that she is already colored, she should have some idea about what is up there in the sky. And, possessing the ability to traverse dimensions as she wishes…”
“Would mean she can send us up there.”
In the end, the key to solve all these issues was undoubtedly none other than Misono Mika herself.