BLEACH: UNOHANA RETSU IS MY WIFE

"I don't get it at all!"

Saito Furuobushi stared at Araki, her wide eyes brimming with confusion.

From the very start of the fight, Araki hadn't moved a step—yet she was the only one writhing in pain. Why?!

How many floors should one carry a sack of rice up? A philosophical question, perhaps. One that neither Saito nor Araki could answer.

"Fine. If you won't make a move, then I will!"

Araki calmly drew the Zanpakutō from his waist.

"It's coming!"

Saito's eyes widened in alarm. She didn't dare lower her guard for a second.

Then—to her utter shock—Araki raised his blade and stabbed himself in the thigh.

"Pfft~!"

A fountain of blood sprayed from his leg.

"Ah!! That hurts so much!"

In that moment, the sword dojo echoed with Saito Furuobushi's screams of agony.

Yes—Araki was the one wounded, but it was Saito who felt the pain!

"Hehe..."

Araki's eyes twinkled, as if he'd discovered something fascinating. He gripped the hilt embedded in his leg and gave it a brutal twist.

"Urgh...!"

Saito immediately rolled her eyes back, about to faint from the unbearable pain.

Seeing this, Araki finally pulled the blade from his leg, deactivated the active function of his Fullbring, The Flower of Eternal Life, and healed his own injury using the Glazed Light ability of his Zanpakutō.

"Haha... hahaha...!"

"I get it now! I finally get it!"

Across the room, Saito, drenched in sweat and still trembling, let out a hideous laugh that distorted her beautiful face.

Even someone as dense as her had finally understood Araki's bizarre ability.

"You... understand?" Araki blinked in mild surprise.

She figured it out that fast? He himself had only just grasped the mechanics... Was Saito hiding her true intellect all along? Was her IQ actually on par with that of a scheming shopkeeper or a hairspray-wielding genius?

"Your ability swaps the sensation of pain, doesn't it?" Saito said confidently. "Meaning I feel the pain for your injuries. And vice versa—if I get hurt, you should feel it!"

With an uncharacteristic glint of brilliance in her eyes, Saito pointed her Zanpakutō toward her own delicate foot.

"Wait, no—!"

"Hehehe... too late!"

With a dramatic flourish, she stabbed herself in the foot and, like Araki, twisted the blade hard.

"Pfft—!"

Blood spilled from the wound like a broken dam.

Followed, of course, by another wave of Saito's agony.

"…Still me?! STILL ME?!!"

"You liar... you big liar..."

Tears welled in her eyes and streamed down her cheeks like pearls on a broken necklace.

"Ah... well..."

Araki was genuinely speechless as he watched her crumble.

Maybe I really was too optimistic thinking she'd figured it out...

Yes, he had to admit: there was a moment—just a moment—when he believed Saito was hiding her true brilliance.

But clearly... she wasn't.

Saito Furuobushi wasn't clever—she was adorably, catastrophically dense.

"Damn it!"

Staring down at her bleeding foot, Saito's frustration boiled over.

She had come here to establish dominance, to assert her position in the Araki household... but now she was the one injured, she was the one being humiliated.

She couldn't go home like this—not as the captain of the Sixth Division!

"Araki... let me cut you. Just once, okay?"

Grinning through clenched teeth, Saito stepped forward with her Zanpakutō in hand.

"I told you, from the beginning—you're free to attack me."

Araki replied calmly, almost too calmly.

"No tricks this time! Don't use your weird ability—just let me hit you with one clean strike! After that, we'll be even!"

"I swear, after that single strike, I won't be mad anymore! I won't hold it against you that you didn't come looking for me first when you arrived in the Soul Society!"

Saito's voice trembled slightly as she made her heartfelt (if extremely skewed) demand.

"Alright, fine~"

Araki agreed without hesitation.

He had already tested the limits of his Fullbring's healing. Now it was time to test how well he could tank a hit.

"Okay then!"

Seeing Araki agree without any hesitation, Saito felt a warmth bloom in her heart. She knew—Araki was still the same Araki she had always known.

With that thought, Saito drew her Zanpakutō and slashed at Araki's right shoulder.

She knew Araki's Zanpakutō possessed strong regenerative abilities. This cut wouldn't harm him too badly.

"Shua!"

A flash of cold light—and her blade pierced through Araki's shoulder. At the same time, however, Saito felt no pain in her own shoulder…

But there was a problem: she hadn't actually cut Araki at all!

Although it looked like her blade had struck true, Araki's shoulder had turned into a strange mist the moment her Zanpakutō touched it. Her blade simply passed through, hitting nothing.

"Are you satisfied now? Look—I didn't activate the ability just now."

As Saito stared, dazed, at her own sword, Araki—now transformed into thick fog—reassembled himself behind her.

"Damn it!"

Saito turned instinctively and slashed again at his shoulder.

"It hurts!"

Pain exploded in her mind, making her whole body tense.

"Didn't you say you wouldn't activate your ability?!"

Saito's face twisted as she shouted.

"I said that sword just now wasn't using the ability," Araki replied calmly. "I never said this one wouldn't."

"Ahhhhhh—!"

Saito screamed in frustration, then instinctively stomped the ground in anger.

Immediately, a jolt of pain surged through her body.

Yes—she had forgotten her foot was still injured.

"Bully! I don't want to play anymore!"

With reddened eyes, Saito cursed Araki and limped out of the 11th Division barracks.

"Your foot is still hurt—let me heal it for you!"

Seeing her hobble away, Araki realized he had gone too far with the teasing and quickly tried to call her back.

"No need!"

Saito didn't look back. She left the 11th Division without hesitation.

"Hiss… that joke went too far."

Araki scratched his head and sighed, a dull ache settling at his temples.

"Did you guys see that?"

"Of course we did..."

"Captain Araki is just… too cool."

"He's a role model for our entire generation!"

"Even that tyrant Saito Funafushi can't do anything to him!"

"I admit it—Captain Araki is the true leader of the 11th Division!"

As Saito left in frustration, the 11th Division soldiers—many of whom she had previously beaten down—watched the scene unfold. The contrast between the flustered Saito and the composed Araki left them in awe.

On this day, Captain Araki had earned the hearts of his Division.

"The world has suffered under Saito Funafushi long enough!"

Even Araki himself didn't realize how easily he had won their loyalty.

On the other side of the Seireitei, Saito Furuobushi looked down at her foot—which, although she hadn't noticed, was now fully healed. She understood clearly: Araki had treated her wound after all.

He had gone easy on her throughout their fight. No, more than that—he had let her go.

Yet, even so, she had still lost.

"Compared to him, I'm too weak..."

Only in defeat does one see the truth. The gap between their strength was glaring.

"I need to become stronger—at least stronger than that wicked woman, Unohana. If not, I'll never be able to stand by Araki's side."

"Araki… wait for me. I'll be back..."

Saito whispered in her heart—and vanished down the street.

On that day, Saito Furuobushi found her determination. She longed to become stronger—stronger than Unohana Retsu—and take Araki back from that woman's clutches.

After all, she, Saito Furuobushi, had known Araki first!

And perhaps Araki himself didn't yet realize that the Soul Society was about to descend into chaos—all because of him.

Because at that very moment...

Unohana had awakened.