[BL] Trick or Treat!

A Thousand Lanterns

to Guide You Back

by LinXueLian

 

 

Premise Tags: Wuxia, Festivals,

Ghosts, Lantern Rites,

Fairytale, Royalty, Scheming,

Generals, Tragedy, Reunions,

Heartwarming, Comedic, Afterlife.

Content Warnings:

Death of Loved Ones.

Author's punctuation kept.

 

 

🍁

 

 

 

 

🍁

 

 

Once upon a time, in the outskirts of Plum Blossom City, there lived a young man who worked as a shoemaker named Chu Ji-Mi. Now, although Chu Ji-Mi wasn’t very rich at first, he lived a quiet and peaceful life.

 

For the most part, the people living around the area helped support his business and were friendly, so he was very content and happy. Chu Ji-Mi, who had a very pleasant and amiable personality, went around making and repairing shoes for everyone. Everyone in the area loved him, and soon Chu Ji-Mi became quite well-known in the capital, for his shoes were indeed very beautiful and made well enough for royalty to buy them.

 

Now, on the other side of the city, in one of its most flourishing parts, lived a war general at the service of the Emperor by the name of Diwei Zhuangxun. He was tall, clever and strong, so he rose very quickly in ranks and grabbed the title of general in just a few years. He replaced Prince Na Ji, the previous general who had lost five consecutive battles in a row among other things.

 

Prince Na Ji, having lost his position as general despite being the current Emperor’s relative, was most upset. He was a man with long ears and a high nose, rather like an elephant’s, and every time he saw Diwei Zhuangxun in the imperial palace, they wriggled very fiercely indeed!

 

One day, while Diwei Zhuangxun was leaving the palace, a large hole appeared on his shoe. Startled, Diwei Zhuangxun bent down to look.

 

“That’s strange,” he said. “I just bought these two days ago.”

 

Overhearing him, Princess Dai An-Na came over. She was a kind and friendly young woman with eyes like stars. Looking at his shoes, she sighed.

 

“It must have been my royal brother’s work,” said Princess Dai An-Na. “You know how much he dislikes you for taking his place as war general.”

 

“But it was his and your Highness’ father who appointed me my current position,” said Diwei Zhuangxun, surprised. “As far as I know, Prince Na Ji didn’t object to it.”

 

“He wouldn’t dare!” laughed Princess Dai An-Na, shaking her head. “Not openly, anyway. I know what he’s like. Anyway, come on, let your country’s princess take you somewhere. I know you’ll love the shoes there!”

 

Diwei Zhuangxun bowed and followed the Princess into her carriage, for she wouldn’t let him walk. The general could only smile, because this young lady only knew how to treat others well despite her noble birth and bearing.

 

The carriage gradually came to a halt. When Diwei Zhuangxun got out before the princess to help her out, he glanced around in wonder.

 

“What a quiet, quaint area!” he exclaimed.

 

“Isn’t it pretty?” smiled the princess, skipping up in front without protocol. “Do come on, Zhuangxun! I know the surroundings are beautiful, but we do need to get you some new shoes!”

 

Diwei Zhuangxun nodded and followed the young lady into the courtyard of a small house. It was simple and small but tidy, and felt very peaceful indeed. Diwei Zhuangxun decided he liked the place quite a lot.

 

“Ji-Mi, I’m here!” sang the princess.

 

Diwei Zhuangxun looked up to see who the princess was greeting. At once, his breath caught in his throat.

 

This person, although dressed very simply, was very beautiful and kind-looking. His upwards-slanted eyes reflected the many stars over the sea and his smile captivated geese in mid-flight. He had the grace of a crane and the bearing of a young master. Just how did he end up living in the outskirts like this?

 

“I know you’re wondering who this is,” said Princess Dai An-Na. “He’s an old friend of mine. Back when I was living outside the imperial palace with Mother, I had the hobby of going to the outskirts of town to teach young children to read. It was here that I met Ji-Mi, and we became good friends.”

 

Chu Ji-Mi bowed deeply at the general.

 

“Greetings, General Diwei Zhuangxun. I’ve heard many things about you,” said the shoemaker.

 

“I—ah, no need to bow!” replied Diwei Zhuangxun, flustered. “Stand up, stand up!”

 

While bowing, Chu Ji-Mi noticed Diwei Zhuangxun’s shoes and gasped. “General, your shoes have been slashed apart. What happened?”

 

“My royal brother happened!” Princess Dai An-Na rolled her eyes. “That’s why we’re here anyway! I say, Ji-Mi, can you do anything about this? You do have shoes his size, don’t you?”

 

Chu Ji-Mi nodded and went to fetch a pair of shoes. While his back was turned, the princess leaned over and nudged the general.

 

“So, what do you think?” she asked, grinning.

 

“I——Princess, this…”

 

“Aiyah, you’re at that age already,” said the young lady, laughing. “I knew you’d like him. You know, for quite some time already, Ji-Mi has kind of admired you. I think it’d be a perfect opportunity to court him.”

 

“Your Highness, irrepressible as always,” said Diwei Zhuangxun with a sigh, but he couldn’t help smiling. The princess was, after all, quite accurate in her deduction.

 

Following his first visit to the shoemaker, Diwei Zhuangxun made bi-weekly trips to see Chu Ji-Mi. It then became a weekly affair before becoming an-almost daily affair, even without the princess around to accompany them. Sometimes she went with Diwei Zhuangxun to visit her friend, and sometimes she invited the shoemaker over to her villa to have tea with them. Over time, Diwei Zhuangxun and Chu Ji-Mi got closer and closer and soon became inseparable, like a pair of Mandarin ducks.

 

One day, the Emperor called Princess Dai An-Na over. She entered the imperial hall and bowed to her father courteously.

 

The old man smiled and waved a hand to motion for her to stand up.

 

“Aih, An-Na, when it’s just the two of us in the hall, just behave normally,” said the Emperor gently. “At any rate, today I have something to announce that I think you’ll like very much. In fact, I think you’ll forget to bow and hug me immediately! He he!”

 

“What is it, father?” asked the princess, her eyes shining. The old man grinned proudly and puffed out his chest, as if he had just discovered the secret to Nirvana.

 

“An-Na, I’ll grant you marriage with General Diwei Zhuangxun!”

 

“……

HAH!?”

 

Princess Dai An-Na’s screech could be heard throughout the imperial hallway. Several servants stopped walking and looked around, surprised.

 

“Eh? An-Na, why do you sound like that?” asked the Emperor timidly. “Don’t you like the general? You’ve been spending heaps of time with him lately, so your old father thought…”

 

“Father, I don’t want to marry General Diwei Zhuangxun!” she said, her voice lifting up earnestly. “Or rather, it’s more like I can’t. He’s like a brother to me, and on top of that, he… well… he’s seeing someone…”

 

At this, the Emperor abruptly turned around and sat on his throne solidly, his eyes taking on a serious light.

 

“An-Na, you know how this must be. It’s for your kingdom.”

 

“Father,” answered the princess, “your daughter hears you.”

 

Both father and daughter’s eyes gleamed once as they gazed at each other with great sombreness. 

 

“One must discuss love gossip seriously.”

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

“Wife, you won’t believe this.”

 

Prince Na Ji sat himself heavily on his divan, sighing. His long, elephant ears drooped low. Slinking over, his wife massaged his broad shoulders.

 

“What’s wrong, dear?” she asked. “Did you hear any bad news?”

 

“Well, yes,” said the former general. “I overheard from one of my spies that that twit, Diwei Zhuangxun, has found love. My Emperor Father wants to award him marriage. Ugh! How can he treat someone else better than his own blood relative? After all, I’ve only lost five battles consecutively.”

 

“Yes,” said his wife, rubbing his neck.

 

“Killed a royal interpreter I was having an affair with who later wanted to out me as someone who was half-limp in bed by blowing him up with the city’s royal cannon.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Embezzled military funds while allowing the mastermind behind it to change his face and run away in a very expensive luxury ship.”

 

“Mmhmm.”

 

“Almost killed the Emperor to usurp the throne.”

 

“Right,” said his wife. “You did well, dear.”

 

Prince Na Ji sighed. “Wife, you’re the only one who understands me. What should I do about General Diwei Zhuangxun? He makes me so angry!”

 

“Just kill him,” said his wife. “I taught you how to kill that interpreter you were having an affair with, remember?”

 

“Yeah,” said Prince Na Ji, with a confused look on his face. “So how do I deal with this even more annoying one?”

 

The woman smiled and whispered in his ear. After a while, Prince Na Ji’s elephant ears wriggled in glee.

 

“He he he!” he grinned. “Now I know why I paid over a million gold coins to buy your hand in marriage! You’re a genius!”

 

“He he he!” laughed the woman, and they both clinked their teacups together evilly. “Buy me a new coin purse!”

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

It was a hot and wet summer’s day during the seventh month, so Chu Ji-Mi put away his baskets after the steamy rain and covered the leather shoes he couldn’t sell. After a while, he heard a familiar sound of galloping in the mud and looked up.

 

“Zhuangxun!” exclaimed Chu Ji-Mi, running out, his boots sloshing all over the mud as he greeted the general. “You’re here! Come in, I’ll make you some tea.”

 

“I have news,” said Diwei Zhuangxun, excited. “Ji-Mi, the king says I’m to get married! He’s granted me a wedding and I can pick any day I want.”

 

“Oh…” murmured Chu Ji-Mi, looking down. “So when will your wedding be?”

 

“Ah, well, that’s the thing,” said Diwei Zhuangxun, scratching his head. “I didn’t give an answer yet. Ji-Mi, when do you think we should get married? Our schedules can be quite hard to match up…”

 

“Eh?” Chu Ji-Mi looked up, surprised. “You mean…”

 

“Who else am I marrying, you silly goat?” laughed Diwei Zhuangxun. “Anyway, let’s go in and discuss it. We should… huh? What’s that sound?”

 

Several men who looked like thugs surrounded the two suddenly. In the lead was Prince Na Ji and his wife, who were smirking maliciously.

 

“You’ve met your doom, Diwei Zhuangxun!” called Prince Na Ji, his ears flapping wildly. “You thugs, go get him!”

 

But Diwei Zhuangxun was too strong for them to overpower. Valiantly, with the help of Chu Ji-Mi and his very sharp scissors, he cut the illegally-hired ruffians down one by one.

 

“Ugh, curse you!” shouted the former general, red in the face. “Wife! Ready the cannon!”

 

“Not so fast!” came another shout, this time from a young lady. Princess Dai An-Na came bursting forward with her white stallion and over two-hundred soldiers. “Men, seize them!”

 

Prince Na Ji tried to run, but he was easily subdued. His wife, however, managed to slip away, leaving him behind.

 

“Wife aaaah!!” screamed Prince Na Ji, and that was the end of his career as a free man.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

A week after the events, Diwei Zhuangxun and Chu Ji-Mi set a date for their wedding. They were to be wed in fall, on the day of the full moon during Harvest Festival, where everyone was on holiday, as it was the only time their schedules could match up for an entire day.

 

Diwei Zhuangxun grinned like a stupid man as he skipped outside of the small courtyard with Chu Ji-Mi’s hand in his. Just as he was about to get on his horse, the animal whinnied.

 

“Watch out, Zhuangxun!” shouted Chu Ji-Mi, as a blade came flying at him. He pushed Diwei Zhuangxun away and received the blade himself in the chest.

 

“Ji-Mi!”

 

It had been too quiet even for a quiet day, but neither man had noticed it as they were living their happiest moment together just then. Prince Na Ji’s wife, who was a cunning person, had taken advantage of their happy moment to murder her husband’s enemy. Like a fox, she sprinted off after her deed was done.

 

“You animal!!” from afar came an enraged shout. Again, it was Princess Dai An-Na. She had rushed to her friend’s home after one of her brother’s spies confessed to their crimes and saw what had happened from afar. Angrily, she led her stallion over to the fleeing woman and immediately stomped Prince Na Ji’s wife unconscious! 

 

“Ji-Mi!” she ran over to them as her horse harrumphed and kicked the ‘remains’ of the unconscious woman to the side. “Zhuangxun…”

 

Princess Dai An-Na slowed down. The scene in front of her seemed to also slow down too.

 

“Zhuangxun, you’re safe…”

 

“Ji-Mi, you… Why?”

 

“You know I can’t bear to see anything happen you,” Chu Ji-Mi smiled, his kindly face pale from loss of blood and shock from the wound. “Zhuangxun… I’m sorry. I know you’re the same…”

 

Chu Ji-Mi’s head rolled sideways, his white lips pursed in dissatisfaction for the first time in his life.

 

“…I wanted to marry this autumn too…”

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Dong!

 

“First bow, to your ancestors!”

 

Although Chu Ji-Mi had passed away, the Emperor had still granted his general a wedding. Clad in bright red, the bridegroom standing on the dais tried to hide his forlornness and smiled, thanking everyone who wished him well.

 

“Zhuangxun,” called the princess softly, her eyes filled with tears. “I…”

 

“Don’t worry,” he smiled at her comfortingly. “It’s not your fault. Anyway, I went on with the wedding because Ji-Mi did say he wanted to get married today. Although he’s no longer here, he’s still the one I want to marry. So I went along with it.”

 

Princess Dai An-Na sniffed and wiped her face with a sleeve. “I see…”

 

“Don’t wipe your face like that,” said Diwei Zhuangxun, grinning helplessly despite himself. “Use a clean silk cloth or something. Anyway, I’m tired. I’ll need to rest a bit before the banquet tonight.”

 

“Right. I’ll see you this evening,” said the princess, climbing up the steps of her carriage. After seeing her off, the general returned into his house, its doorway dressed up with red ribbons, and laid down on a divan.

 

Just as he closed his eyes, he heard a rap at the doorway.

 

“Huh? Who is it?”

 

It was a quiet and bright fall afternoon, cool and yet not too cold. For some reason, however, the temperature had plummeted like mad and Diwei Zhuangxun found himself shivering. He sat up slowly and looked around.

 

The door had been left unbolted, so Diwei Zhuangxun called out to the person who had rapped on his doorpost.

 

“Come in!”

 

A cold breeze blew, but nobody came in. Puzzled, Diwei Zhuangxun got up to investigate. As he stood up, however, his sharp eyes caught a dark shadow at a corner near the doorway, almost transparent.

 

It was a young man with a tall hat with faint wordings on it. Although from the shape of his jaw and look of his slim body one would guess at a glance that he was a pretty white-faced youth, when Diwei Zhuangxun looked carefully at his face, his pupils shrunk.

 

The young man had no eyes but had a very long tongue!

 

Diwei Zhuangxun choked. Before he could scream, however, a worried voice floated over from the semi-transparent youth.

 

“I say! You, have you seen your husband around?” asked the faceless, long-tongued apparition, looking around anxiously. “I was here since morning, but he didn’t turn up! He doesn’t seem to be in the house either!”

 

Diwei Zhuangxun was speechless.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I’m telling you he got lost,” said another voice, suddenly appearing with yet another ghost, this time a large ghost with a horse’s head. “No one has a poorer sense of direction than Cow Head…”

 

Diwei Zhuangxun, upon hearing those names, recognized who they were. Horse Head ghost, Cow Head ghost and the long-tongued Wu’Chang ghost were all entities who worked for the King of Hell, and their affairs were with the dead, not the living. Somehow, this time they had appeared in his house and were discussing things like colleagues trying to navigate around a plan gone wrong.

 

“It’s your job to lead souls around, you know?” exclaimed the Wu’Chang ghost, his long tongue stiff in between shock and frustration. “How on earth can either of you get lost!?”

 

“I… yeah, as you know, I’m usually the one leading us from one destination to another,” explained the Horse Head ghost, scratching the back of his head helplessly. “But King Yama recently gave Cow Head a new spirit butterfly called Wei-Zhi to play with. Apparently this butterfly can tell you which turn to take to reach a place, with a very cute voice too. Cow Head insisted to use it without me and bring Chu Ji-Mi here on his own… so I came first.”

 

“On a day like this though!?” the Wu’Chang ghost was exasperated. “Both of you! When we get back to hell, you’re both dead meat! Anyway, you!” – the ghost barked and pointed at a still-stunned Diwei Zhuangxun – “You’re the groom here, so you do something to help out too. Think of a way to lead those two goons with no sense of direction here.”

 

“Huh?” Diwei Zhuangxun opened his mouth to speak. “But Ji-Mi…? Eh?”

 

“So you’ve learnt something new about your husband today,” the ghost clicked his tongue. “Look here, the reason why Chu Ji-Mi never left the outskirts to live in the bustling area of Plum Blossom City despite his rising fame after Princess Dai An-Na used his shoes is precisely because he gets lost easily! If you don’t believe me, once you’re dead you can come look in King Yama’s Mirror. You’ll see it for yourself then.”

 

At hearing this, Diwei Zhuangxun cupped his chin thoughtfully.

 

“I thought he was two hours late the other time for dinner because he was busy buying silk for his shoes…”

 

The Wu’Chang Ghost stared at him in pity. 

 

“You poor soul…”

 

Just then, an older man slid open the door noisily with a laugh. “Hey, son! Guess who I bumped into just now instead of our usual day together…… huh?”

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

“I think we should have taken a left turn just now…”

 

“Hmm? You don’t say… I think we ought to have taken a right turn though…”

 

It was almost late evening. The pale autumn sun which had already begun to sink under the clouds cast a small beam of light at Cow Head’s mostly visible face. Beside him stood a handsome young man, looking just as lost and confused as he did.

 

During this time of the year, on a night with a full moon, folk from the spirit world would become more visible to the ones in the material world. Nobody could see or hear them in the morning, but over the course of the day, their bodies and voices would become more pronounced to the eyes of the living and fully solid by nightfall.

 

This was why the month of the Harvest Festival was one of the most powerful months, when fairies and heavenly generals could come down to visit and people left small paper lanterns and mooncakes out on the altars for their gods to enjoy. This power extended to ghosts, of course, although they never really left Hell unless it was Hungry Ghost Month.

 

“Say, why isn’t Wei-Zhi chirping?” asked Chu Ji-Mi, peering at it over the Cow Head ghost’s shoulder. “Is it broken?”

 

Cow Head sighed. “Maybe I forgot to charge it today with spirit stones and it’s run out of energy…”

 

“Chirp chirp chirp… finding new route… finding new route…” chirped the butterfly, flapping its wings.

 

“Hey, it’s still alive!” cheered the Cow Head ghost. “Great! Wei-Zhi, show us the way to General Diwei Zhuangxun’s house.”

 

“Locating General Diwei Zhuangxun’s house. Turn right.”

 

“Okay, turning right…”

 

“In three li*¹3 li = roughly 1.5km, turn left and go downwards.”

 

“In three… eh? How do you measure that?”

 

Before either of the two could properly measure how far to go, though, something very bright caught their eyes.

 

“Wow, so bright, just like a star!” exclaimed Cow Head, his easy-going, round eyes shining with joy. “Shall we go take a look?”

 

“Eh… but I want to get to my wedding…”

 

“Aiyah, we’re already late, so how much later can we be?” said the Cow Head ghost, waving a hand at the young master. “Come on, let’s check it out. Maybe we can get your husband a souvenir so he won’t scold you for being so late. I’ll get one too, just in case my boss wants to cut my salary again. We can both bribe them; after all, two bribes are better than one!”

 

Chu Ji-Mi thought for a bit and nodded. It made sense to practice joint-bribery because you’d at least have someone to back you up when things went south. He flew over and began to descend with the Cow Head ghost, the bright, shimmering light getting brighter and brighter from below.

 

“It’s so pretty…”

 

From where the two were, up in the air, looking down they could see the light of a thousand lanterns of various colours and shapes, brighter than the moon, lighting up a whole garden and house with doorposts dressed up with red ribbons. Chu Ji-Mi gasped.

 

“It’s Zhuangxun’s house! But why…?” his words trailed off and lodged themselves in his throat as he remembered something.

 

“One thousand lanterns to guide you, one thousand lanterns to send you home.”

 

There was a tale in the city they lived in about a man and his little son who once hung out a thousand lanterns to remind themselves of their dead wife and mother after she passed away from illness. Every day they made a single paper lantern of a different pattern and colour and added them one by one night after night until there were a thousand of them in their garden. When the thousandth one was lit, King Yama, the ruler of Hell, allowed the dead woman’s soul to return to the living world with a material body for one night every year to visit them.

 

The dead woman in the story was Diwei Zhuangxun’s mother, and the man was Diwei Zhuangxun’s father. Diwei Zhuangxun was the little boy.

 

These same thousand lanterns now hung in the garden below while a number of figures could be seen waving wildly upwards at them, welcoming them.

 

“Oi! You easily-lost bugger! Once we get back to Hell, you’re dead meat!” a long-tongued ghost roared from below, shaking his slim, white fist in the air. “I’ll cut your god damned pay check! Don’t play with me!”

 

“Zhuangxun! Father!” Chu Ji-Mi floated to the ground like a leaf to greet his husband and in-law as the long-tongued Wu’Chang ghost slapped the Cow Head ghost’s head soundly. Next to the two men, smiling, stood a woman with a vivacious face.

 

“You must be…”

 

“Your new mother-in-law!” said the woman, putting her hands on her hips proudly. “I’m Zhuangxun’s mother. Speak of the devil, your own parents have just arrived! Now I know where you get your sense of direction from. Haw haw haw, a family with no sense of direction! Haw haw haw! Even I can fly here on my own every year, what is this? Haw haw haw, you guys are too funny…!!!”

 

Chu Ji-Mi turned red while his husband clapped him on the back.

 

“Mother, don’t laugh so loudly like that,” laughed Diwei Zhuangxun. “Ji-Mi, let’s go inside. I heard from the Wu’Chang ghost that you’ll be coming to visit every once a year on our wedding anniversary just like Mother does on hers, is that true?”

 

“Pretty much,” said the long-tongued ghost in mid-slap, overhearing them. “Just make sure you do what you did today to show him the way here. Otherwise he’ll just fly past the house and get lost for heaven knows how long. We’re too busy to guide him here every year, so he needs to be able to find the spot himself.”

 

And so, until today, General Diwei Zhuangxun hangs a thousand lanterns out in the evening once a year on the night of the full moon during Harvest Festival week. He doesn’t need to do so on his mother’s anniversary, and you, dear reader, can be sure you know why!

 

 

 

 

🍁

 

 

Author's Accounts:

LinXueLian (SH), LinXueLian (pixiv).