Bizarre Honkai, a Wife-Chasing Crematorium

Li Mo reached a pink door, a key already in the knob. He turned it, pushed the door open, and stepped inside.

The room was a comforting explosion of pink. Sunlight streamed through the window, painting the walls and floor with iridescent hues. Fuzzy bear slippers rested by the bed, pink and purple ribbons danced on white curtains… The entire room exuded a dreamy, romantic, girlish charm.

A large round table stood in the center, laden with delicate pastries, fruit salad, and an assortment of snacks. Behind it, a bookshelf displayed volumes adorned with covers of pretty girls. It was like a fairytale, brimming with whimsical charm.

Li Mo walked in, sat down, rested his head on his arms, and closed his eyes, letting the room's sacred aura wash over him. This was Elysia's unique magic. Objects imbued with her essence could partially neutralize anomalous contamination.

If the contamination wasn't too severe, it could even be completely purged.

The only drawback was the slow pace. It had taken years for Elysia's presence to saturate this room, imbuing it with its anomaly-suppressing power. Before that, after too many deaths, Li Mo had been forced to cling to Elysia's side, lest the anomaly within him resurge.

"Hmm? Boss's back! Long time no see! Bring back any cool loot?" Pardofelis emerged from the closet, clad in Elysia's clothes—the only way to suppress the anomaly gnawing at her.

Outside this room, she'd lose control, becoming a bloodthirsty monster.

"Boss, you still have that coin I gave you, right?"

"Lost it."

"Aw… But that was a limited edition! Signed by Eden herself! Super valuable!"

"I know. I'll be more careful next time," Li Mo replied flatly.

"Li Mo, it's me," MEI's voice called from outside. She entered, carrying a tray with three glasses of cola, which she placed on the table.

Li Mo hesitated, then took a glass, gulping down the cool, refreshing liquid. MEI opened her offline laptop, her gaze patient and understanding.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm down to one death now. Probably need another two hours to fully clear the death count."

"Okay. Let's get to work then."

"Alright."

"Work" meant Li Mo recounting his experiences battling anomalies in the other world, while MEI meticulously documented everything. This included anomaly profiles and the fact that he'd buried the sealed Head Ghost near the cave. He couldn't exactly bring a severed head home.

The funeral anomaly, the terrifying Kiana, the hundreds of Head Ghosts, the 7 PM anomalous surge… Li Mo detailed everything, omitting only the three months inside the black coffin.

In his current, partially emotional state, he couldn't bring himself to discuss… that. The thought of… relations with an anomaly was too bizarre, too embarrassing to admit.

MEI reviewed the files, a thoughtful expression on her face. She looked at Li Mo, her eyes narrowed.

"Being hunted by an anomalous Kiana might not be a bad thing."

"Not a bad thing? It was terrifying! If I hadn't been quick on my feet, I'd be dead. Resetting wouldn't have even helped."

"That's precisely why it's good. She could become your trump card."

"You survived against her, figured out her logic. That means we can potentially utilize her. It needs more research, though."

"At least from your report, anomalous Kiana seems… deeply attached to you. Her affection seems to outweigh her anomalous instincts. Wait a minute…" MEI paused, rereading the files, a frown creasing her brow.

An anomaly of that level shouldn't be so easily controlled.

And Li Mo's fear of her suggested a far greater cost than he'd let on. It was classic human behavior: once bitten, twice shy.

MEI looked up, her tone pointed. "You're sure all that happened in the coffin was kissing?"

"Yes. Absolutely. That's it."

"You did it, didn't you? You had sex."

"What?! Are you kidding me? I'm Li Mo! I would die! Jump off a cliff! Before I'd do that with a ghost!"

"No need to explain. I'm just glad you're alive. I don't blame you."

"I didn't need proof, anyway. Just look at yourself. It's written all over your face. You're… depleted. Severely depleted. I didn't notice at first, because you were emotionally numb. But now… it's obvious. You're gaunt, your eyes are hollow, your skin is dry…"

Li Mo: "..."

"But I need details. It's related to my theory. So… how was it?"

"Painful. Cold. Like… stabbing an ice statue. Tight. Not very… receptive. Like it was frozen solid."

"You admit it."

"What? You tricked me! You said it was for your theory!"

"That was a ruse. And you wouldn't want Elysia to find out, would you? Come to my room tonight. We need to talk."

"Uh… MEI, tonight's… not a good time. Maybe in a couple of days? No, two days isn't enough. Next year? Seriously, I'm not up for it."

"Definitely depleted. But it's not about that. It's about Fu Hua. She's been gone a long time. Anomaly missions usually take six months max. She left before you. She has the Fenghuang Down to protect her, but there are no guarantees with anomalies. Not for you, not for her."

"I have your coordinates. You can use them to find her. If you have to, leave the anomaly. Your safety comes first…"

"No," Li Mo said firmly. "I can't just let the anomaly spread." His abrupt refusal was strange.

A flicker of sadness crossed MEI's face. Her expression was complex as she sighed, abandoning her attempt to persuade him. She looked at him intently, a hopeful glimmer in her violet eyes.

"I'll do everything I can to support you, Li Mo. I only have one request."

"Come back alive."

"I can wait. Just like this time, I can wait. But you have to come back. Or all bets are off. I won't deal with another anomaly. You know I've seen too many worlds end. I don't care if one more falls."

"Death isn't… unacceptable to me."

Li Mo nodded. "Don't worry. I can reset. I won't die that easily."

"I hope so. Don't break our promise."

"Here. The file on the funeral anomaly." MEI turned the laptop towards him.

-----------

Funeral:

Types of Bizarre Entities: Ghosts, Rules, Bizarre Objects

Ghosts: Head-Eating Ghost, Upside-Down Ghost, Unlucky Ghost, Kiana Kaslana, Dead Man's Shoes, Cognitive Ghost, Mirror Ghost…

「Head-Eating Ghost」

Active Time: 7 PM to 7 AM the next morning.

Rule: Prioritizes attacking physically strong living beings that it can touch.

Killing Method: Eats the head raw.

Characteristics: Can graft itself onto living beings, manipulate their memories to make them rationally believe they're alive, and inherit all abilities of the person it ate. By eating the host, it can also harm bizarre entities hiding within the host.

Rating: D+

---

「Upside-Down Ghost」

Active Time: 7 PM to 7 AM the next morning.

Rule: Only attacks people whose heads are at a different spatial angle than its own.

Killing Method: Forces the target to make eye contact, causing their spine to grow wildly out of their body and their head to rotate halfway around.

Characteristics: Unknown.

Rating: C-

---

Misfortune Ghost:

Active Time: All day.

Rule: Unknown.

Killing Method: Unknown.

Characteristics: Parasitizes the human mind, bestowing good fortune through curses. Can partially preserve the host's consciousness from contamination.

Rating: B+

---

「Twisted Love's End, Kiana Kaslana」

Active Time: All day.

Rule: Activation requires moonlight, a specific ancient medium, and a certain dumbass Mo's love.

Killing Method: Overwhelming power.

Characteristics: Contaminated Herrscher of the End powers: Time stop, independent spacetime, amplified versions of all Herrscher abilities. Blood Moon Vision: Can see anywhere illuminated by moonlight at night. Anomalous Love: Suspected balance between genuine affection and anomalous instinct, expressed in a twisted manner. Possesses extreme possessiveness. Will kill anything, living or inanimate, that targets dumbass Mo, then devour him herself.

Rating: S+

-----

Rule, Door of the Dead: Any living person who opens the door dies.

Anomalous Item, Spirit Tablet: Seems capable of sealing one ghost.

Anomalous Item, Grave Incense: When burned, suppresses ghost activity.

Anomalous Item, Black Coffin: Subdues contained ghosts.

Anomalous Item, Funeral Hall: When used with burning Grave Incense, blocks ghost perception.

Anomalous Item, Seats: Accelerates anomalous resurgence in those who sit on them.

Li Mo, glancing at MEI, felt a sudden surge of killing intent directed at her as he read "dumbass Mo." He continued reading.

Other:

「Dead Man's Shoes」

Active Time: All day.

Rule: Indiscriminately attacks people whose shoes are too neatly arranged.

Killing Method: Once a target's shoes are judged to be arranged with the tidiness of a dead person's, the Dead Man's Shoes will kill the target within 24 hours, regardless of distance.

Characteristics: After killing a target, it will occupy their body and can actively adjust the tidiness of their shoes.

Rating: A

---

「Mirror Ghost」

Active Time: Nighttime.

Rule: Only attacks people reflected in a mirror.

Killing Method: After being identified as a ghost, it will immediately perform a strange pose, forcing the target to repeat its movements.

Characteristics: Hides within a mirror and cannot be dealt with through physical means.

Rating: C-

-----------

These were the anomalies he'd eliminated across the world after absorbing anomalous Kiana's power. They didn't belong under the "Funeral" category. But why did MEI consider so many of these to be only negatively rated?

MEI had established a five-tier ranking system for anomalous ghosts: S, A, B, C, and D, based on threat level and unique characteristics. Dead Man's Shoes, for example, could quickly wipe out humanity, as everyone wore shoes.

Even discarded shoes, if arranged neatly by the anomaly, would become lethal.

The Head Ghosts, without their overwhelming numbers, were manageable. A normal person could survive with a bit of caution and the right strategy.

They were slow and could be repelled, as long as you didn't hit them too hard, causing them to reset. Li Mo had only been overwhelmed because of their sheer numbers and the confined space, which prevented escape.

A D rating was reasonable.

Kiana's S rating confirmed MEI's suspicions.

Based on Li Mo's description, anomalous Kiana was far more dangerous than she appeared. The "+" and "-" modifiers denoted growth potential.

Static anomalies like the Mirror Ghost were typically "-", while those capable of growth, like the Head Ghost, were "+".

Dead Man's Shoes had some growth potential, but it was manageable, hence neither "+" nor "-".

The Misfortune Ghost's B+ rating… well, it did have a high upper limit and had saved Li Mo's life.

Its "blessings" had consistently pulled him back from the brink.

If Li Mo were in charge of ratings, it would be an easy A+. Who would dare eat at his wedding without the Misfortune Ghost present to bless the food?

"By the way, MEI," Li Mo began hesitantly, his returning emotions making him self-conscious.

"On my way back, I encountered an unknown anomaly. It took your form and… uh… it…" He trailed off, glancing at Pardofelis, who was happily gnawing on a can of tuna, her feline teeth sinking into the furry mascot on the lid.

It looked more like she was petting a plush toy than actually eating.