Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

Summary:

Cause it never does

Kelly took a bite of her goblin dog as the gang chatted about their latest trip. "So let me get this straight." Marco shook his head. "Homeworld is even LESS accepting than Mewmans?"

"Yep … suddenly a lot less angry with them than I am with most of the universe." Star murmured. "It's really bad when you make a race of racists look nice by comparison."

"Not to mention they've completely destroyed their planet." Steven said as he took large bites of his goblin dog. "The entire place is stacked ontop of thousands, maybe even millions of kindergartens. With all the bright shiny glimmer, there's layers and layers of destruction and decay below it."

"The only good thing about the experience was meeting the off colors." Star responded. "They're like the gem family we need but don't deserve. Paparacha was the best and cutest."

"I think Fluorite was pretty cool. It was like a grandma as wise as my earth dad." Steven shrugged. "What about you guys?"

"Me and everyone else were basically running ourselves into a ditch trying to come up with back up plans to rescue you two, so it was probably the most stressful time of my life, second at the very least." Marco said as he added some relish to his goblin dog.

"The karate boy here hasn't slept in days." Kelly responded. "At one point he thought he saw the face of god … until he realized it was just Rhonaldo." She snickered. "Apparently he heard about Lars getting sent into space and got super jealous."

"Bet he wouldn't say that if he knew what Lar's sacrificed for us." Steven muttered darkly. It was weird seeing him think negatively about anybody that wasn't Glossaryck, Mina, or Toffee.

"Speaking of …" Marco looked at Lion. "Is he a zombie? Have we been riding an immortal zombie through dimensions?" Lion let out a low growl in response.

"If he was a zombie, then he'd have a lot more holes in his body and be craving brains." Kelly mentioned. "Trust me, I would know. There's like…five different zombie outbreaks that go off at once back in Ooo."

"So what was it like in Ooo?" Steven asked, his face changing to puppy dog curiosity. "Did you … learn anything?"

"Learn anything…hm…I learned from Finn how to cut something so fast in a blink of an eye, learned pixies are flying little bastards, learned that vegans can live immortal lives, and that people can mess up relationships a WHOLE lot worse than I ever could."

"I highly doubt that." Star grumbled. Right, she and her never really buried the hatchet on any of their issues. Well, there's no time like the present to start now.

"And that's why I've made a life decision." Kelly nodded. "Single until my sixties. No more toxic or messed up relationships for this Woolet."

"Thats…..thats….amazing Kelly." Steven looked like he was choking on his food, it taking a couple of pats on the back from Star for him to breathe properly. "I mean, I've been single this entire time too, and it's shaved off a TON of drama from my life."

"Exactly." She nodded. "Like those girls from Amphibia, none of them need relationships to be happy. And in Ooo the last relationship I heard about was caused by a boy wanting to have a wet dream about a girl and nearly caused the death of a guy with magic altimers to get it."

"...Okay, maybe you aren't the worst at relationships."

"So, how have your parents been?" Marco asked. "They seemed really devastated over the course of … everything."

"They're putting us on a group vacation for 'family bonding' as they think it's the last moments they'll get with us before crap hits the fan." Steven answered. "Not only that…Luz and her family are coming too…so I have to deal with my Dad's flirting on top of everything else. Almost makes me want to go back to Homeworld."

"I mean we have a portal that doesn't run on magic." Marco spoke, once more pointing to Lion. "We technically can go there anytime if you feel like ditching it."

"Nah … we'll save emergency supplies and ditch them another day." Steven said with a sigh. "In all honesty I really did think it was the end, so it would be nice for some family time."

"Tell me about it, I thought it was the chopping block for me too, dissection table and everything." Star added. "Funny thing is that our butts were partially saved by a gem that sounded way too much like Mina."

"Meh, that's fair." Kelly shrugged. "It's an infinite multiverse, you'll always find someone that sounds the same. Heck, Sadie sounds just like Marceline." And that Peepers guy that followed lord hater sounded a lot like Ice king if you heard the two long enough. "Speaking of, I see everyone else is enjoying their first Goblin Dogs." She pointed to the new friend group her old friend group had made.

"Is this what true love feels like?" The tall dark skinned girl, Anne she thought it was, said as half a dog was in her mouth.

"If you dip it inside of electric nachos, it's even better!" The kid with a bandana smiled, getting zapped as he took a bite.

"No…NO! I stopped taking smile dip! Sugar puppies, GET AWAY!" The girl with braces and a sweater started attacking the air randomly.

"After Grandpa Max's cooking, this hits every spot." A girl with orange hair smiled.

"Hmm, the universe is colliding in a mirage of colors. I already knew that though." The green haired kid said as he calmly bit into his.

"Nice to see we aren't the only weirdos in this universe." Kelly smiled, relieved that she could enjoy this nice fun moment with friends. Platonic relationships ruled.

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Sadie suckled on an ice pop, considering today was a quiet and slow day. By now Lars would have shown up and said some sarcastic comment to make her laugh … but nope, he was stuck on an evil planet. "You dummy…why didn't you run off the ship like the rest of us?" She sighed as she bitterly bit into the dessert. Just when he was getting out of his shell too.

Now it was just her all alone in this dumb little shop, filled with nearly expired pastries that she was tempted to indulge herself with to shove the misery into the back of her mind. If someone didn't come into the store soon, she was going to begin her slow but sure descent into death by calories. "Uh…is this a bad time?" The bell at the door opened, showing the..

"Star?!" Sadie nearly fell to her back upon seeing one of her three missing friends back. "You're back!? How!?" Don't let this be a cruel joke, please for the love of everything decent in this world, don't let this be a bad, cruel joke!

"Well it's a long story." Star started. "When we got there there was a waiting period, then a trial, then a revelation me and Steven are questioning, then we busted out, then we ran all over, then we met a gem group that hid underground, we fought off some robots, Lars died-"

"HE WHAT!?" She cracked the counter when she heard that devastating piece of news, not caring at all that it would probably take her entire check to replace.

"He totally got better though, I swear my life on that!!" Star immediately explained as she slowly backed away in fear of her…huh, that was a new one. "You would've loved it too, he suddenly went from terrified child to complete badass and jumped on top of a killer robonoid and made it explode with his bare hands!" 

"That doesn't sound like Lars at all!" She accused the taller girl.

"Yeah, it was absolutely insane. I think he might have bonded with the off colors about how they're weird outcasts of their society that have to hide their flaws or risk execution." Star shrugged. "So anyway, it turns out they can only scan gems, so he was an invisible cloak while we fought them off. The last one had its laser set on one of the gems, so Lars shoved his hand into it, the bot blew up as he was sent into a wall. Steven cried and Lars came back to life pink."

"You're a terrible story teller." She deadpanned with numb shock.

"I'm just telling it how it happened, I barely believe what happened." Star rubbed her forehead in frustration. "You know how Steven has a pet pink Lion? Think that, but for Lars. He's pink all over and has this magic hair that creates a portal to a pocket dimension that connects back to Lion's mane. So we can pop on and off homeworld now…but Lars can't go through his own head.."

"So Lars is still stuck on an evil alien planet!?" She shouted.

"Don't worry, we're working on a solution." Star assured her. "We just need to gather enough manpower to get him a ship to get off the planet itself, then we can portal him back home." Star sighed in exhaustion. "He wanted me to tell you and his parents that he's okay…so I started with you because my own parents were super emotional when I got back, and I wanted you to be there with me as I break the news to them."

"Break the news to who?" The Barrdinga's walked in with concern.

Star looked at her with a look of 'help me please'. "What am I supposed to say? I'm still processing!"

"You know them better! You saying it will make the words hurt less."

"Make what hurt less?" The mother looked panicked. "Is our baby boy gone!?"

"No, no, we brought him back to life-"

"BACK TO LIFE!?"

"It's fine! He just has pink skin now, and he's being taken care off by alien outcasts on the run from their galactic overlords!" Star tried to wave off.

Sadie watched as the two adults hit the ground, eyes glazed and unconscious. "... You're still really bad at storytelling."

"I'm good at three main things. Fighting, dancing, and art." Star sighed as she banged her head on the ground. "I'm so sorry Sadie. If there was a chance to trade places, I would. I know how much you two like each other."

"It's…well no, it's not fine. Nothing about this situation has 'fine' written on it." Sadie groaned right beside the girl. "I was just about to ask him out too…why do feelings have to exist?"

"I could use magic to bottle up all your negative ones if you want." Star offered. "Worked for my great, great, great grandma."

"Nah … bottling up emotions never ends well for anyone." Sadie muttered. "... I just hope he can come back safe." Even though when it came to this magic-space stuff, safety seemed to always be on the far side of the universe.

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Lapis walked up to the boy scrolling on his phone, sitting down next to him. "So … wanna chat to, mirror to prince? Just like the good old days?" The Butterfly-Universe-crystal gem family had decided to take a weekend to a cabin in the woods. While Star was off sitting on a tree texting Marco the entire time, Steven elected to just sit against the wall of the cabin on the outside. He hadn't moved for two whole hours.

"At this point it's 'emo gem' to 'single hybrid'." He joked. "Was your life this complicated before the mirror?"

"Nope. The Diamonds wanted a planet terraformed. I used water to slice apart mountains. I'm rewarded with attending some aristocratic ball or performance, and I never asked questions." Lapis responded. "It was about as simple as life could get." 

"Simple past … could really go for that now." The boy groaned. "You know, I'm surprised they invited you." Steven noted. "I know they wanted this to be a family thing, even if they brought the Crystal Gems, they didn't bring Peridot or Marco."

"Full disclosure, everyone says that you're bottling up space trauma and said I should talk it out of you. They're listening through the wall." The two of them could hear clambering and noise.

"Of course. Even now, I have to worry about my family trying to keep secrets." Steven rolled his eyes. "At least this isn't an earth shattering-identity crisis one like all the others."

"Meh, it's less 'secrets for your safety' and more 'help you out'." Lapis noted. "Greg said it was either someone gets you to talk about it or he looks for a therapist. That's when I stepped in."

"Thank you. I've faced one universal evil to fill the next two years, I can go without seeing another." Steven sighed. "Well, for one, you don't have to worry about space trauma. That's not what's been bumming me out lately."

"So you're … not depressed about Homeworld?" Lapis asked.

"Of course not, I deal with life and death stakes all the time, and I already got most of that drama out of my system before the trial even started." Steven responded. "I'm depressed because Kelly's been keeping her distance ever since she came back."

"Ah, the 'Kelly romance' situation. That brings me back." Lapis smirked. "I thought you got over it though."

"No, I just put my dating life on the backburner because I still like her, even if the letter sucked." Steven admitted. "If I had tried dating someone else, I would've just kept thinking of Kelly, so I saved myself the trouble."

"And now she moved on because she now thinks Peridot's way of life was the key to a happy future." The blue gem noted.

"The evidence does keep piling…except I see Star and Marco sucking face almost every time I have my back turn now, and I took a peak at the texts dad sends Ms. Noceda, and it's basically all the sappy gush that me and Kelly used to send each other." He rubbed his forehead. "It's hard seeing everyone have a stable relationship except me."

"Join the club." Lapis rolled her eyes. "I fly over earth's skies pretty much every day, and there's at least one couple I see that reminds me of how horrible things were with me and Jasper."

"Yeah, that had to suck." Steven noted. "But … has it ever gotten better? After all this time?"

"It has…everyday, the pain does go away bit by bit." Lapis gave a small smile. "There's this feeling that you SHOULD belong to someone…but if living on earth has taught me anything, nobody belongs to anybody or anything."

"You're free to be who you are and do what you want." The boy genuinely smiled. "Thanks Lapis."

"No prob, bob. Someone's gotta look out for your family, and it might as well be me. Stars know we can't count on Garnet's future vision for that." She snorted. "So you finally talked to two of the big three? Was it as terrifying as advertised?"

"Mostly annoyed and angry, but there was an ever present terror in the back of my mind whenever they proved they could and would kill us at a moments notice if it wasn't for personal reasons." He shrugged. "But big three … what about White?" Steven asked. "Star got all crazy when she just glanced at a statue of her."

"That's less of a statue and more like her personal ship. She shaped it like her head so that she could instill the fear of the Moon Goddess into all that gaze at her, telling every gem of every size she's watching them."

"Ominous …" He noted. "... Hey, are you still into pranks?"

"I drench Marco's sock supply every week."

"Tell my family that I confided in you whatever gives the craziest reaction and record it."

"Craziest reaction, eh?" She smirked evilly. "Okay, how about…you've decided to embrace homeworld's way of life and are going to free the cluster right now?"

"Oh, I could get a mask to boot and act all super villainy." He snickered. "Spread the word, my vile companion, for evil shall reign tonight!" This was why Steven was her favorite human. She could get revenge on the gems and have it labeled 'harmless fun' around him.

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Nana let her opponent ramble on about his facts, 'Mayor Dewey' struggling to divert the negative attention. What a coward. "Remind me why we care about this? We never interact with the mayor as it is." One of the magic children, a girl with heart marks, asked curiously.

"If we're living on Earth more than Mewni, the least we should do is help decide the leader. Even if this 'democracy' system is super weird." The space boy, Mr. Universe's son, if she recalled correctly, responded. "Plus Buck really doesn't want his father to win this year, so might as well see what all the fuss is about."

"So that is the facts. It's none of my fault, I couldn't be responsible for any of the crazy and life threatening stuff that happened." Dewey stated with some sweat.

"Boo!" The Ordonia child shouted. "It's absolutely your fault, you lying coward!" She understood the love of chaos and anarchy … but when things were this tough, there had to be a time for at least some order.

"No, he's right." Nana admitted, silencing the crowd. "It is not his fault … it is the town's fault we've fallen so far." They stared at her. "For the last year we've had to rely on children to save us. Do you understand the burden we've been putting on them? Even if they're the only ones who can do something, it's our job to at least make it easier on them."

"Wait, an authority figure that actually recognizes how hard we have it?" The heart girl said in shock and bewilderment. "What new spawn of madness have we entered into now?"

"We can set up evacuation shelters built up with magic and technology to withstand the blows this city would face. We can set up patrols so no one will have to be caught off guard by a new threat! Why do we sit around and wait for more innocent lives to be taken off the streets!" She shouted. "We've already lost one child to space because we were so complacent with our lives, that our town's greatest defenders weren't enough!"

"Is this what Politics should be like?" The universe child looked curiously. "Because I'm hearing a lot of stuff that doesn't make me boil in rage."

She stood on the podium. "We are Beach Creek! Some may call that name stupid, but they are both bodies of water! We are water! We shall not sit around and wait like a rock, we will not throw out the problem like fire! We flow with the problems at hand! We can be better than we are now, as a community, we will make sure no more disasters happen on our hands!!"

"Yeah, we are Beach Creek!" The Diaz child raised his fist in the air with a cheer. "There's nothing we can't take on!"

"Beach Creek! Beach Creek!" The Fryman family cheered in unity. "Beach Creek for life!"

"Let us become a community like times of old! Join me, and together we will make peace!" She shouted. "Vote for Nana!"

" Nana! Nana! Nana!" The cheers echoed in the crisp beach air as Dewey began hiding behind his own podium, likely knowing beyond a doubt his days were finally numbered.

"Wow, earth politics are a lot more exciting than Mewman politics." The heart girl jumped excitedly in the air. "I love being an earthling!"

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Luz got everyone to one wall, lined up. "Now, my friend slash sister is a little shy with new people, so I want you all to be super careful so we can ease her into this, alright?" It was actually pretty awkward for her as well. She and Vee had a..tenuous relationship at best. Half because in her eyes, Luz abandoned her mom, half because Vee pretty much stole her entire life for about half a year. So suffice to say, it made family bonding at the dinner table really awkward.

"We understand, family is weird." Steven shrugged. "We'll be on our best behavior."

"I'm used to accommodating weird people." Marco nodded. "I mean, Star and Peridot alone were some of my hardest jobs yet."

"Pffft, like I was that much of a handful compared to the former villain." Star rolled her eyes.

"Dude, even I think you were a handful, and I didn't even live with you." Kelly, apparently Steven's ex(awkward), added.

"Alright, you can come in now." She gave the door a knock. After a second it opened, while walking … an exact duplicate of Luz, just with a hoodie instead of a tee shirt, and their hair was flat.

"I thought you said friend slash sister?" Kelly responded with surprise. "This looks like an identical twin thing."

"Oh, I um … chose this because I look weird." Vee turned away.

"Wait..is this a prank?" Star asked skeptically. "Because she sounds exactly like Amethyst. Luz, did you put a coat of paint over Amethyst?"

"What … oh, no." She waved her hand. "Quick, do Marco, he's the other guy in a hoodie."

"Other guy …" She looked at the boy, before their eyes flashed blue and yellow, shapeshifting into a perfect copy, even the clothes. "... Sorry, I know it's weird."

"If you think that's weird, watch this." Steven walked up to the Basilisk and held his breath for a few seconds, before his ears glowed pink and extended into long and fluffy floppy Dog ears.

"Oh my gosh! Another Basilisk!" They cheered, using Marco's body to show glee as she hugged the boy. "I thought we were all gone!"

"Oh boy, this is going to get awkward." Steven said as he was scooped up into the air.

"How do you think I feel?" Luz muttered, trying to ignore how cute those dog ears really were. "Sorry Vee, he may have shapeshifting powers, but he's not a Basilisk."

"Aww …" They pouted, though they kept their hold on Steven. Well getting her comfortable with one of them was at least getting accomplished.

"So what's a Basilisk?" Star asked. "Cause each time I read about a creature they turn out different." Luz knew the feeling.

"It's a creature that can shapeshift." Vee explained. "We were hunted down because of … our diet of … feeding on …" The shifter using Marco's face trailed off, staring at Star with drooling lips. "... Magic …"

"Hey…she's not going to hunt me down until she drains me dry, right?" Star backed away. "I just got away from Blue Diamond, and I don't want a repeat of that."

"No …" Luz sweated. "Just … lock your doors at night."

"Got it...Hey, you like magic?" Star sweated at the still hungry looking Vee. "Then I think I have the perfect trick for you. Normal cupcake blast." The Mewman lit her hands up and tossed the dessert inter Vee's hands

Vee stared at the thing for a second, taking a small bite as their eyes widened. "It tastes like hopes and dreams … and I already feel so full …" With small tears they ran up to Star, hugging her. "Thank you!!!"

"So…much….love…. why… does… everyone … smother me… with love….?"

"It's kinda more awkward from my position." Marco noted.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Vee noted with panic. "I can change it if this makes you uncomfortable. I've memorized a lot of faces."

"What about your own?" Kelly asked. "We've seen a lot of creatures traveling the universe, you'll probably be on the lower side of weird."

"Oh…I don't know…I've only shown my real form to Ms. Noceda and Luz…last time I showed myself, some glasses-wearing weirdo locked me in a cage."

"I've been locked in a cage because I have a rock on my stomach." Steven pointed out. "We're clearly more accepting than everyone else … also it would be more awkward if you were just using our faces then a ten foot abomination."

"And if there's one thing we hate around here, it's anybody that's insufferably intolerant to other people." Star reassured Vee. "If there is someone out there trying to lock you in a cage, I'll blast them to the center of the earth."

"We can't do that." Kelly complained. "Then we'd be torturing the Cluster."

"Oh…then I'll be sending them to the sun." Star shrugged. "Either way, you won't have to deal with jerks of any kind.

"See Vee. These people are perfectly accepting of the weird, just like I am."

They stared at them for a second, before slowly sifting, clothes falling off as they gave way to a slimy body, a long tail end instead of legs, blue and yellow eyes with floppy cat based eyears. "Hey….so….this…this is who I am."

Steven walked up to the shapeshifter again, and placed a gentle hand on Vee's shoulder. "You look amazing Vee. I'm glad I met you.

Vee started to cry, hugging the boy. "Thank you." They wept out. "Thank you so much."

"Aww…it's so precious." Star cooed at the sight. "Baby siblings getting along with each other"

"You said it, sister." Luz fist pumped the former princess. "Heck, all I need is King, and we'd have all three of the cutest siblings cuddling up with each other."

"Not true." Marco stated. "Mariposa is still in my house."

"Mari-who now?" Kelly asked.

"Oh, while you were gone, Marco's mom gave birth. It turned out to be a girl instead of a boy." Star clarified.

"... Marco's mom was pregnant?" Kelly said with surprise. "Man, the things you miss … next thing you'll tell me is that she's best friends with the queen of darkness."

"Not the Queen of Darkness, but her daughter." Marco barely missed the shock on Kelly's face. "Oh, Meteora became a baby and basically Star and Steven's little cousin now."

"Our parents aren't even married yet, and the family tree is already huge." Luz said to Steven.

"Yeah … but when it comes to nice people like you or Vee here, I don't regret it." He patted the Basilisk. "Welcome to the family." This went a million times better than when Mom first met Eda. Luz took that as a sign that this new family of hers…it was truly something amazing.