Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

Summary:

Some casual moments in life

Chapter Text

"Fuck you all!" Star Butterfly shouted out of nowhere. Her family was invited to Eclipsa's temple for a cordial meeting, and she was on her phone the entire time texting her boyfriend directions, so this came out of nowhere for Penople. "Here we are, trying to be accommodating, nice, and help everyone with peace! But no, you just can't get over prejudice, can you!?"

"Star, calm down, they're good people." Steven tried to calm his sister down.

"No, I can't do this anymore, you know what happened the last time I bottled my emotions!" The black wildfire event spread like … well, wildfire through the gossip vine. Star Butterfly lost it and started attacking her own people. "And I will not let yet ANOTHER event crumble down due to the racist actions of Mewmans!"

"I-" Her mother tried to speak up.

"Zip it you!" Star accused.

"Star!" Steven glowed pink as he got in between the accusing finger and her parents. "Are you trying to go crazy again!? Just breathe for one second and-"

"Sorry I'm late!" The welcomed voice of Slime shouted out as the doors swung open

"Umm … who are you?" Star asked. "I don't remember a slime in the production team."

"This is Slime … my boyfriend." Penelope spoke. "I've been texting him directions all day."

"I finally got my own mirror…" He showed off his device, which was drowning in his own slimy arms. "Still working out the kinks."

"Slime, my boy, you made it!" Her dad said jovially as he raised his hand for a high five. "Give me some slime!"

"It's great to see such a kind and familiar face." Her mom walked over as her dad rubbed his own face. "Today has been rather turbulent for a variety of reasons."

"I … um …" The Butterfly siblings looked confused. "I feel like I should say sorry … but I'm seriously baffled here."

"We aren't racist against monsters, we have no problem with them." Penolpe kissed her boyfriend's lip. "Our kingdom is all about acceptance of the good and bad."

"Oh thank fucking corn." Star sighed in relief. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

"Our problem is with Globgor." She pointed to the performers. "You do know they did the dance of death, where they celebrate his violent murder of Shastican, our ancestor, right?"

"… Star! Why did you accept something called the dance of death!?"

"I didn't know it was called the dance of death! They just showed me a cute little dance with cute outfits, and thought it would be fine!"

"Not to mention the horrific decorations." Mother turned the cup around, revealing Globgor pillaging lands.

"Okay, how the corn did we miss that!?" Star pulled on her own hair in frustration. "Look, I am so sorry.."

"Save it, Star Butterfly." Her Mom interrupted. "Despite your rudeness, you're not the one we seek an apology from."

"We came in good will and on the behest of our daughter, but Eclipsa hasn't even bothered to show herself after all this time." Her dad glared.

"She's … probably stuck in the bathroom." Star spoke with a sweat. "I'll go grab her, Steven, you talk to them!" She shouted as she ran down the hall.

"Wait, Star, don't leave me…." The boy called out too late and now it was him stuck with her and her family. "So….I take it you've been going out since the Monster Ball?"

"Yeah, thanks for introducing us." She nodded with a smile. It was pretty weird to say that to her former crush, but Penelope guessed his life was much crazier than hers. "Even if the night itself didn't end swimmingly."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Luckily Mina hates me more than she hates monsters, so we were able to stop her from doing too much damage."

"No worries, one crazy Mewman isn't going to bother me." Slime spoke with a wave. "Besides, you guys saved us in the end, so thank you for that."

"No problem, happy to help." The boy smiled, as Star came back with a disheveled looking Eclipsa.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I was told the meeting was tomorrow. Thanks a lot, Manfred!"

"Double my pay and I might actually care to double check." The servant in blue rolled his eyes as he left the room.

"Eclipsa." Her mother stood sternly with a fierce gaze. "I can look past a lot of things. Public opinions, assassination attempts, and rude behavior." She glared at Star for that last one, making the blonde try to shrink into the darkness. "But as biased as this may sound, the one thing I cannot overlook is Globgor and his crimes against my people."

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that." Steven spoke with the wave of his hand. "Globgor is completely frozen in Rhombulus's crystals twice over … please don't tell me you're putting the blame on his daughter." The boy suddenly spoke with wide eyes.

"What, no that's ridiculous." Her dad looked appalled. "Who in their right mind would accuse a child for the actions of their parents?" Her former crush actually began to tear up at those words. "Ah, are you alright?"

"Sorta of…it's just…it's been a long time since I've heard anyone use that level of common sense." Steven sniffed and wiped his eyes. "Give me a second, I'll be fine in a minute."

"Alright …" Her mother patted the boy on the head awkwardly as Star hugged her brother. "Anyway … we know Eclipsa is trying to free him."

"Oh, that's what you've been worried about." Eclipsa said with a saddened sigh. "Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I've made no attempt to free my husband of my own power."

"The Rhombulus incident?" Every Spider-bite spoke up at the same time

"Why did he have to post that online?" Star grumbled.

"That was…a lapse in judgment, I will admit…."

"Not to mention according to our information network, you have reacquired the book of spells?" Father spoke with a raised eyebrow.

"... I really need to up Manfred's pay rate." The Queen grumbled. "Yes, I have the book of spells again, but I've only been using it to learn spells to help with the lacking agriculture and to help Star control her new abilities. Both of them can attest to each one respectively."

"We have been growing more food … but the Mewmans accuse it of being poisoned." Steven grunted.

"And I've completely stopped setting the middle candle of fire about eighty percent of the time." Star nodded with a smile.

"...I'll figure out that last one at a later date." Her mom sighed exhaustingly. "For the sake of our daughter and her boyfriend, I wish to help you with the relations between kingdoms.."

"Oh thank you…"

"But, I need your word, Eclipsa." Her mother interrupted, grabbing the Queen of Darkness's hand and staring into her eyes with a cold and unfeeling gaze. "Do you swear to never, EVER release Globgore from his crystal."

The Mewman Queen paused, looking like the breath was being sucked out of her, before finally taking a big gulp of air and sighed. "I swear on my life, and on my daughter's, to not release Globgore."

"Good … I'll hold you to that." She let go. "Now … What should we do for a feast? I hope it's not as insulting as the dance of death."

Eclipsa's eyes widened, before turning to Star and Steven. "Why would you show them the dance of death!?"

"They never told me it was called the dance of death!" The Mewman girl shouted defensively.

"Ugh, a victory is a victory, so I'll take it." Steven rubbed his head. "Thanks for the help."

"No prob, anything for a friend." She nodded. "Hey, maybe after this we can go on a double date with your girlfriend…"

"Oh…I'm…we broke up. Haven't really been in the dating scene for a while." He chuckled nervously.

"Ah …" She chuckled. "I guess you're not the only one who can make things awkward." Of all the times too, what were the odds? Surely no one else in the universe could be experiencing anything more awkward right now.

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Lars sat down nervously in the seat of the waiting room, many other adults present as they waited on the interview. They didn't know much, but they knew a bakery was open, and that the woman who was running it was very strict. "WHO MIXES UP CARAMEL WITH PEANUT BUTTER!? GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER RETURN!!"

The man who was getting chewed out ran out crying in tears, as everyone else in the room started to look at their own presentations questioningly. "It's going to be alright, Lars. The cool kids loved your pumpkin spice bread." Sadie held a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And you practically worship their opinions."

"I know but … this seems like a drastic leap, you know." He spoke. "There's supposed to be an entire school for cooking, but all I've done is a hobby. And even with that, all that I have is rusty."

"Dude, don't overthink it, just be honest and let her try it out."

"WHY WOULD YOU FREEZE A BROWNIE!? THEIR MAIN FACTOR IS A GOOEY WARMTH!! IF I SEE YOU AGAIN I WILL RIP YOUR INSIDES APART!!" He gave Sadie a worried and skeptical look as a woman ran out screaming.

"Okay, so the guidelines here are…strict, but you've survived a Monster Butterfly and getting turned to moss. Something like this should be a breeze." She patted his back. "And think about it, these are all adults, you're a teenager, them failing is going to be harder on them than it would be on you."

"Yeah … yeah … I've got room to grow." He nodded.

"Exactly. You still have your whole life to make something great out of this. And who knows? You may actually surprise whoever's in charge."

"Mom, the guy who's supposed to be delivering our moon milk is out of town!" Steven spoke, coming out of the kitchen.

"... I'm dead." Why did he have to come to the weirdo bakery for a first try?

"Oh Lars, Marco said you were into baking, I didn't know if he was being serious though." Steven noticed them and waved.

"Don't make this a big deal, I'm just…trying to throw my hand out there is all. Everyone else around me is making big choices, so…why shouldn't I?" It really hurts to admit that. But if Ronaldo was actually able to make money off of that weird interview vlog, then there was no excuse for Lars to not take a risk.

"Alright, you can come on in after mom is done with her latest interview."

Marco walked out with a haunted look. "She called it second rate …"

"Well you did lose to Anne, and she put crickets in hers." Star came next and hugged his former friend from behind.

"Yikes, not even to friends of her kids, this lady's a tough nut." Sadie commented as he slowly made his way inside.

"She was the Queen of Mewni. When we were younger, we'd call the kitchen 'the second kingdom'." Steven laughed as he opened the door for him. "Don't take it too personally if she's critical, she's still adjusting to life on Earth."

Lars nodded slowly, walking through the gates of hell to meet this lady. A tall woman with bunched up hair stared at him. "Name?"

"L-Lars Bar-riga." He did his best to show no signs of intimidation, which going by his shaking legs, he was failing spectacularly.

"Experience in the kitchen?"

"I've worked in a doughnut shop for two to three years.." He heard a pencil snap as he said that. "And-And I have practiced baking at home by myself since I was seven!" He quickly added.

"A young age …" She muttered, looking up to stare at his work. "What are you presenting me with?"

"Oh, I'd-I'd well…the advertisement said to come up with a dish that showed a reflection of who we are, so I thought I'd make a Filipino dessert that I'd used to eat all the time." He placed the purple food on the desk. "It's an Ube Roll.."

"Ub-be?" She asked.

"It's like a Sweet Potato or a Yam." He explained, remembering that this was a lady from another dimension….he couldn't believe he was thinking that sentence with complete seriousness. 

"Alright …" She pulled out a fork from a casing, leaning over and taking a scoob of it, before biting. "Mmm …"

"D-do you-" He was interrupted as she raised her hand at him, fearing more for his life than this job opportunity.

"It's naturally sweet, but not to the point where it's overpowering, and the cream provides a nice counterbalance in the flavors…and they've been measured so that each bite isn't being overwhelmed by either."

"Well yeah, put too much Ube, and it's a mushy mess, put too much cream and it's like eating pudding…took me a while to figure it out."

"You understand the importance of balance and patience." She noted. "How do you work under pressure?"

Horribly, but she couldn't let her know that. "I'm guaranteed to get the job done under any circumstance." He was extremely grateful Sadie talked him through the interview process a week before.

"Good, we've had a bad luck streak and we need someone to keep a cool head when everything is on fire." Why would that be the case!? "How many hours are you willing to work for? Apparently America has 'hiring laws' where you don't work for seven days a week."

This was going to be a tough one…but this was probably the only time he'd ever get an opportunity to work like this professionally, so goodbye free time. "I'm available after three on all weekdays and all day on weekends."

"Alright." She wrote that down. "Final question …what is your opinion on those with different qualities in their lives?"

They were weirdos and he wanted nothing to do with them. "I don't care about little details. I can go about my business as they go about theirs. I'll work with anyone and be as patient as possible." He'd have to find a way to payback Sadie for all the venting she was going to be hearing in the future.

"Well then, I can only say one thing." He tensed. "You work on thursday, bring your best utensils if you feel sentimental attachment to them."

He did it…he did it…he ACTUALLY DID IT! "YES, YES, THANK YOU!" He slapped his mouth quickly and tried to retract. "Ah, yeah, I'll..go do that." He slowly walked out, closing the door on his way out as he looked at everyone. "I did it." He smiled.

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Camila watched as her date adjusted their collar nervously. "I must admit that this is a little … more fancy than what I'm used to." He spoke with a nervous chuckle.

"... We're going to Olive Garden." She deadpanned.

"Oh yeah, that's right. Sorry, it's been a while since I've done anything like this. I usually preferred to make whatever I had on me while traveling on the road." Greg admitted while rubbing his head.

"I mean you must have had at least one or two fancy dates back in the day." She smirked.

He just laughed. "Nah, I made ten dollars a month and Rose never kept money on hand. Our most romantic meal was a day at Kiki's Pizza."

"I don't know, the one I had at an ice cream truck had love flowing through the air." Camila laughed in remembrance. "Luz's dad..he was quite the clumsy fellow. I met him walking through the park one day, and he fell down a hill trying to swat away a fly. He crashed right into the truck."

"You met your husband falling into a truck, Rose met her boyfriend being tossed by her friends." He snorted. "Men are way too attracted to danger."

"Oh, is that right, Mr. Universe?" She said his, somehow real, last name in a mock tone. "Am I just too dangerous to resist?"

"Well I mean, you're pretty, I meant to say-" He started stampering over his words. "This was so much easier when I didn't think about what I was saying!"

She snorted. "You should see kids, just saying whatever's on their mind. My little girl calls Amity her 'sweet potato'."

"You're telling me. Steven's first girlfriend was practically attached to his hip, and vice versa. Sometimes I'd catch her falling asleep on his back while muttering 'cushy pillow' under her breath." Greg laughed. "Whenever I think I've missed too much of Steven's life, I realize that there's still plenty of years of growing up for me to see."

"Yeah … but there's still that moment, you know?" Camila sighed. "I sent my girl to camp so she could make friends, but she comes back with four of them, a little brother, a step mom, an aunt, and a new life of growth and reasonability I never saw." Camila did her best to wipe a tear from her eye. "I tried to do my best to guide her in the right direction…but it turns out I made the wrong choice in the end."

"You're a caring and protective mother, no one can fault you for reasoning. And you love your kid, and she loves you." Greg patted her on the back. "It's more than I can say for my parents. They put me through almost every academic opportunity they could get their hands on, and never once did I ever hear them say 'I love you' to me."

"Ouch." She winced. "That's got to be rough."

"Yeah … but hey, they gave me life. I suppose that's always something nice I'll think about." … She was starting to see where Steven got his innocence from. It was..very charming. "So the move's treating you well?"

"It's had its ups and downs, mainly for Vee because it was the first real home she had." She couldn't forget about the second daughter that she's adopted in the past year. "Now she mainly just stays at home chatting with her friends online … maybe I should ask Luz to bring her out more."

"I know you she'd probably get along with my son and his friends. One of them is literally just a floating horse head, she'd probably fit right in." Her date said. 

"There are both pros and cons for that sentence sounding completely normal to me right now." Camila said. "Where do you get this…optimism about life, even when so much has happened?" A question she wished she asked her husband a lot more when he was sick.

"Honestly, I had it until I lost Rose and Steven, went through this major depressed state for the longest while." He sighed. "After he came back I realized good things can happen even if you suffer, so I just … roll with it." He shrugged. "I mean the only time I get legetimatly mad anymore is when he does something over the top crazy suicidal."

"I almost can't even muster anymore anger after Luz went to face a literal god child. Anything else seems mundane and small by comparison." She answered.

"I'm sorry, but like, you mean beat the god, or talk them down?"

"A bit of both actually. She hasn't been heavy on the 'how' of the situation. I just know it was nigh impossible, and she succeeded despite all that."

"Well I say that just goes to show how strong and capable your daughter really is. And she had to learn it from somewhere, you know?" He sent her a playful wink.

"You're right, you are best when you don't think." She blushed. "So, ready to take a trip through the cosmos?" She asked as they finally parked.

"I've been on this ride before, and I don't plan on getting tired from it." Camila felt like a small hole in her heart had been closed up. It wasn't perfectly healed…but it was close enough to say everything was fine.

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Globgor gave a yawn as he crawled out of bed, stretching his body. "Man … I don't know why but I feel exhausted." He muttered to himself. "Alright, let's get the morning routine done."

He popped all the creaks that were in his neck and back, doing some to touches as his wife stood up straight on the bed, watching him with a lustful look. "Oh don't mind me, I'm just enjoying the free show."

"Oh, well don't mind if I give you one." He flexed his muscles, hearing her giggle … along with a small gagging noise that sent him on edge. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what, darling?" She asked curiously, a strange look in her eye.

"I don't think we're alone …" He slowly began to stalk along the walls.

"Ugh, man, getting through a crystalized mind was something else." A voice was heard as Globgor listened . "Wish these walls didn't echo so much, I can hear the flirting from a mile away."

Globgor grabbed onto a wall, ripping it away to reveal a boy. "And we can hear you." He growled out, looking them over. A Mewman, a bit frightened, probably just saw Eclipsa and followed her out of curi-then he saw his stomach, extending his hand and grasping the probably murderer. "Why do you have Rose's gem?" He demanded, squeezing the life out of the bastard.

"Globgore, I made the same mistake too, but it's not what you're thinking!" His wife rushed to his side and began pulling his arm away, "He's Rose's son!"

He immediately let go of the child. "Wait … seriously?" He asked with bafflement, helping the boy on his feet and patting his back.

"Yes … I know it's a lot to take in but-"

"Congrats, you're an aunt!" He shouted to his honeybun, before pausing. "Does that make me an uncle?"

"I swear the family tree is going to reach the freaking moon before I turn eighteen." The boy let the blue fade from his face and took long and deep breaths. "Okay Globgor, what's the last thing you remember?"

He paused, thinking it over. "Well, I ate Shastican, asked Rose to look for Meteora, and went to raze the Spider-bite kingdom to the ground for letting a monster like him send our child away … then I guess I was frozen by Rhombulus." The prince of darkness shrugged. 

"I was wondering how the order of events went down after I was frozen. Nice to finally have that clarification." Eclipsa smirked.

"What? But your here, and not frozen…wait, how am I not frozen right now?" Globgore's began to question.

"That's the thing …." The boy muttered.

Globgor sighed. "I'm still frozen and you're in my head, aren't you?"

"How did you-"

"Eclispa is good at dream walking, but setting up mental illusions always leaves her mind wandering." He pointed to the floating blue goat out the window, singing accordion music.

"What can I say? I was in a rather festive mood when this little escapade proved to be fruitful." His boo laughed and latched on his arms. "It's been a little over three hundred years. I made a deal with a former queen that earned me my freedom."

"That seems like something you'd do." He nodded. When it came to family, the woman was very patient and crafty. With candy … not so much. "Did you find our Meteora, or at least what became of her?"

"It's a rather…long and gruesome story that would take a few hours to describe in detail." His wife said in a dejected tone that had him fearing the worst. "But the important news is that thanks to another former Queen and Steven over here, I finally get to hold our bundle of joy in my arms again."

"Thank you!" He gave Steven a hug. "Oh life is so wonderful and precious! My little girl is safe and sound, my wife is free, oh it all just seems so amazing!"

"Thanks….glad to see…you're so happy…" The boy gasped for air as his face turned blue again. "He's..far from what the story said he was."

"That was only half of who I was. Sure, I plagued the Spider-bite kingdom a lot, but only because their spiders kept crawling into my territory." He let go. "I'd like to think I really improved on my rage issues, eating Shastican aside."

"Right, right." The boy took some deep breaths. "So, since the illusion is broken, should I just dump all the information on you at once, or try it slowly?"

"Maybe later." He shrugged. "Right now I just want to spend some time with my wife." Globgor walked over and hugged her. "So … not to be rude but if you could …"

"I need to be here because I'm the one with dreamwalker powers, just point me to the most soundproof room you guys have."

"The dungeon is a nice quiet place for a piece of solace." Eclipsa recommended. "And ignore the hanging skeletons, they were a part of Globgor's last meal before he went vegetarian, and they deserved it."

"I'll choose to believe that's the case." The boy nodded before heading out. "Signal me when you lovebirds are done."

"Will do!" He waved, before turning to his wife with a whisper. "So, how is it having a granddaughter and a nephew?"

"Very rewarding. They remind me of myself when I was younger. Willing to learn and accept, as well as cause their own brand of mischief from time to time." His darling wife answered with a warm glow on her face. "There's never a dull moment with the two of them around."

"I'm glad you had such fun." He smiled, kissing her lips. "Now I hope you don't mind if I have some of my own." He slowly trailed to her collarbone, placing a few pecks.

"Nice to see three hundred years hasn't dulled your romantic capabilities."

"It helps that it was more of a smash cut than an empty void." He answered with a chuckle. "I'm just glad you and Meteora are living your best lives."

"Yes, they are quite enjoyable…though they'd be even better if you were there with us." His wife looked at him longingly. 

"I want to be out there too … but I'm sure the Mewmans would riot and the Commission would attack the moment I'm free."

"…You aren't wrong." Eclipsa pouted. "But I'm the queen again, I can force them too.."

"Eclipsa, my darkest star." He clasped a gentle claw and rubbed it on his face. "You know as well as I that no one can force the acceptance we seek. And the truth is, after Shastican, I can't trust myself fully either."

"Who cares about one bastard? Me, you, and Meteora can leave for somewhere else. There's an entire multiverse to live in."

"We've tried running away from our problems before, that's what separated us to begin with." He sighed. "I long for the day I can hold all of my family in my arms, but I long for their happiness and safety too. For that to happen, I have to stay here."

"I … it's just …" She hugged him, as he could feel her tears run down his chest. "Why can't we be happy together … for once in our lives?"

"I just learned you're free and that my daughter is alive, I couldn't be any happier than in any other moment." He moved them to the bed, resting with her as she let out her sadness. "Just promise me you'll be happy in my place, alright?"

"I promise.." She said weepingly. "I'll have to eat an entire candy store to compensate, but I promise I will."

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"Alright, let's see what I'm working with here." Glossaryck muttered, looking over the infant with clover marks. "Eclipsa was best with complete instruction, Star is best without any guidance at all …" Funny enough, the kids were in the right when they went to confront Toffee. Star genuinely did worse the more people made complex plans or tried to tell her what to do. Eclipsa was, ironically, making her Dark Magic worse in the long run because now she's overthinking it.

"Gaaaah." Meterora cooed at him, looking straight into his eyes with a curious look.

"Hm, before, back when she was bigger and older, she had no formal introduction to magic, just learning to suck souls at a very late age to preserve her own life." That meant there was a natural intuition with magic inside the girl, but it could only go so far if left by itself.

So that meant Meteroa would be a middle ground between Eclipse and Star's teaching methods. He should start with a good old instinctual dip down, since she was too young to process his words in the long run. Now how to put himself in danger … they didn't have a lot of time.

The Diamonds were coming after all. A force so powerful even the motley crew of combined heroes Star and Steven made on their travels wouldn't be able to put much of a dent on them. He only hoped the 'talk down' method would work on something with the same personality as his boss.

That wasn't even going into the day Glosseryck both dreaded and welcomed that would come soon after, a day that clouded even his ability to foresee the future. The destruction of all magic in their multiverse.

Sure, magic was genuinely a problem that needed to be erased because the few good people didn't justify the massive amounts of horror most people would, the Calamity Gem experiment proved that. But it would still be hard to watch all those lives fade away.

He had died so many times already that he actually got a punch card for a free sub for every death. Knowing that the next time was going to be the last time was somewhat of a downer, especially since he wouldn't be getting that sandwich.

Wait, if magic was gone would he even go anywhere? Or was this a fade away situation? Great, after so many existential jokes he was now hit with his own. "Gawa." He glanced at the baby reaching for him, rubbing his head.

"Yes, yes, It's a shiny rock. A gift from one of my children. Don't expect him to give you one though, he's a bit of a dunderhead." He laughed.

"Pffffft." The baby spat her tongue out in response.

"You're pretty perceptive for a baby." He noted. "Tell me, what are your thoughts on time?"

"Waaaaaah." She waved her hands in the air, moving them in a circular motion.

"You're absolutely right! Time is a circle." She was surprisingly advanced for a mortal. "Now that I think about it .. how about we travel down that circle? It would be a lesson for you, and a nostalgia trip for me."

"Yaaaaaaaagh." The baby clapped her hands and nodded rapidly. 

"Good. I think we'll start with the origin of the universe. Nothing like getting back to the basics." He opened a portal just big enough for her to crawl through. "Now whatever you do, just remember: don't trust the Koala." The Snake was honest with their oblivion and the Axolotl was good … even if annoyingly cryptic.