Beacon from Beyond (Book 1 Complete)

He took a moment to look inward at Ashvorn as it jolted to alertness, and he felt confusion, fear, and hesitance in its body language.

When it noticed his attention though, it seemed to calm down, moving to assess the state of his soul and relaxing when it read his memories of his meeting with Grim. He stopped it from looking further once the story of the First God began, as he wasn't supposed to tell anyone that, but he had nothing to hide.

It offered its own memories- those covering the blank he had after perishing- but he turned it down. His stomach already churned at what little he was able to decipher from all the confusing sensations he had.

Despite not truly fading, he now knew that Death would pull him under if his soul took too much damage. Even if he'd been able to resurrect himself, becoming pink mist would result in a meeting with Grim.

'That's probably why he became a guardian in the first place. Without him, people like me would just be able to resurrect ourselves endlessly. True, I fell into the Plane of Death, but I will definitely be able to repeat the same healing process if I die in the same way. Something tells me that if I die again, Grim won't accept a repeat of what I did this time. I'll need to give him an actual answer.'

Each time they met, Dei would have to give him a different yet equally valid response to why he deserved to live.

Turning his eyes back to Ashvorn, he knew what to ask. Though he didn't want the memories, he did want to know how long he'd been gone, and what his new Interface looked like.

As far as Ashvorn knew, his meeting with Grim started as soon as he'd woken up, so it got to watch the process and it said he took two weeks to pull himself back together.

Was that good? Yes, it was, that was amazing time for resurrection, but he'd left his people stranded in that time.

It also expressed a desire to tell him how his soul healed itself, as the process was supposedly strange and incredible, but he just mentally shook his head. Maybe later, he just wasn't ready yet.

His Interface was much different.

[Authority Signature: Dei
Race: Reaper

Foreign Construct, Incomplete: Slaughterer of the Sundered Realm (26% Complete) (Level 226)
Foreign Construct, Complete, Partially Sealed: Herald of Power (35% Complete) (Level 135)
Innate Potential: 484/631

Marks: Void Walker, Soulspeak, Beyond Understanding, No Rulers Above All, Bearing the Burden, Slayer of Giants IV, Cruelty of the Slaughter (II), Dammit, Slaughterer, Untethered, Risky Business, Golden Voice and Silver Tongue, Supreme Inquisitor of (Eternal Refuge), Pioneer, Awake, Dreameater, Lunar Terror, Eclipse of Blood, Observer of Chaos, ???, Oppositional Reforging, (The Champion's Blessing of Travel), (Void's Reward), (Changed by the Realm of Reality), (Leviathan-based recognition), Devourer, (Star Seared), Extraterrestrial, Dragonslayer, Macbeth, The Champion's Devil, (Meet Grim), Reaper, Rebirth?

Reality Constructs:Soul of the Leviathan, A Korgonda's Mutual Respect, Deal of the Almost-Dunce, Vow of Secrecy to The Champion, Vow of sealing the First Titan to The Champion

HP: 100%
MP: 100%
SP: 100%

Active Affinities:
Kindness: Low-Grand: 77%
Personal: Mid-Historic: 4%
Wrath: Low-Grand: 77%
Soul: Low-Grand: 1%
Fortitude: High-Treasured: 62%
Void: Low-Epic: 39%
Love: High-Common: 5%
Death: Mid-Uncommon: 97%

Potential Affinities:

Snap - Presumed barrier: Disinterest.

Natural Affinities: Sapience, (Cycle of Life and Death)-derivatives

Rules of Wrath:

I will allow no harm to come to those under my care.

Children must be protected.

(Estimation): Greed-based Rule about protecting your own objects.

I will stand for no betrayal.

(Estimation): Never let an enemy roam free.

Affinity Spells:

Kindness: Call for Help (100), Good Samaritan (259), Meaningful (173)
Wrath: Growing Rage (403)
Soul: Empower Self (39), Harmonic Sanctuary (??)
Fortitude: Solidity (300)
Business: Value Sense
Void: Roving Gate (104),
Mind: Overmind (312)

Reality Spells:

Health: Divine Balance (409)
Mana: Meditation (293)

Confluence Spells:

Identify of the Stout Protector (208), Cycle of Sealing (500) (Unknown containment), Eldritch Self (217), Hollow Cry (3), Fractured Reality (162)

System Spells: How About a Demonstration?, Fine-Tooth Comb (76), Vigilance (185), In Tune (125), Commune with the Universe (71), Starved Bastion (156), Hellish Divergence (12), Entropic Touch (31), Land Between (14)

Misc Spells: Living Barrier]

He rubbed his eyes gently, the weight of exhaustion finally bearing down on him now that his adrenaline ran dry. "Tell me the most important changes while I move, use your own discretion to decide what's important."

He could get an in-depth report later, for now he had to make his way back to his group.

[Affirmative. The Mark called Rebirth has a ? next to it as I am only guessing the name of it, but I believe it is the same one that was almost given to you then revoked shortly after you were born into Avium

Your natural affinities are now Sapience and (Cycle of Life and Death)-derivative affinities. The second does not have a word in any language you know, but it is above both Life and Death. It is not natural to you, but its derivatives are, so Death has now been earned.

Eldritch Self is a Confluence spell now, with touches of SP, Death, and Endurance within it. No, I do not know how Endurance has a hand in its creation when its path has already been consumed, but I suspect it's acting through one of the others, or SP is stranger than we first assumed.

Hollow Cry is a Confluence of Death, Madness, Ice, and Grief.

Fractured Reality was always Confluence, I simply could not read it before as your Personal affinity was not strong enough to become distinct]

"Thank you," he said gratefully as the gate overtook him, bringing him within sight of the portal to see a swarm of whipping roots that expanded miles in all directions.

He was surprised that the gate was still open at all, as they were supposed to close after a handful of hours on their own, but considering the plants spreading out from it, he assumed Perumah had done something.

Shortly after he appeared, the roots froze, then converged on him. Seeing as they were familiar to him, and he was too tired to do anything about it, he just let the roots take hold and reel him into the gate.

Through he went, finally feeling the air press against him and sun warm his skin, but he didn't stop- instead, the roots hoisted him far up into the air and presented him to the central mass of… the entity.

He saw what he assumed was Perumah, though much different from before. She had many tentacle-like limbs, perhaps around fifty, that all seemed to branch off one another, like a walking forest with no singular self.

They bloomed into red flowers in places and spiked into sword-long thorns in others, but the entire thing was semi-spherical in shape, though only vaguely.

An avatar spun itself from the mass, and Perumah re-created the body he was familiar with, scanning him with a mix of extreme irritation and concern. He felt her senses pass over his soul, and did nothing to stop her.

Something in him must've spoken to how much he'd been through because the irritation vanished, leaving only a worry for him.

"You found him?!" Thadria shouted from below.

"Yes," he heard Perumah speak to her directly using another voice, one much closer to the ground.

To Dei, she sent a silent, direct message, asking "What's wrong?"

"I'm tired."

Something about what he sent must've betrayed more than he'd intended, because her worry morphed partially into fear.

Perumah's avatar disassembled itself, and the mass of her body condensed down, creating a smaller- yet still large- orb. It cracked open, revealing a small space with a bed of flowers and dim glowing thorns as lights.

The roots gently placed him inside on his back, and the entrance closed behind him.

"Then sleep," she demanded, with a light mental nudge.

He didn't resist, darkness overtaking his vision as a feeling of nostalgia comforted him, the sights and feelings reminding him strongly of Aloran's Garden.

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* * *

POV: Perumah

Perumah's network expands out into the fabric, but she still finds no sign of him. The memories of these animals occasionally give her glimpses of where he was during his battle, but he and his clone can both teleport, and use this ability judiciously.

Her study into the environment netted her another affinity- Gravity. Space is slightly too complex for her right now, but if she can earn Geometry and Stability, she may get it. Gravity is enough, as it's all that is required to hold the gate open as she forces the edges to tear repeatedly, never letting it reheal.

When he suddenly appears well within her range, she pauses, ensuring this is the Dei she knows and not his duplicate, before closing in on him.

When she pulls him before her main self, she expects him to launch into some kind of explanation, but he simply remains silent, even after she forms an avatar.

She reads deep weariness in his body language, but that tells her little. Instead, a wave of her mana comes into contact with the surface of his soul- and halts itself automatically. Normally she can be a bit rougher with his mind but the quivering feedback tells her otherwise. Without missing a beat, she does a second, though this one gives only surface-level information.

His emotions feel stilted and cracked, breaking. He isn't in the midst of a panic attack or anything similar, it's just… something. Something she hasn't seen before, which scares her as she has nothing to compare it to, nor does she know any way to help.

It's like his mind is in a state of unwilling transition, something forcibly altering his personality, but the source is himself, like he subconsciously deemed his own psyche to be lacking, and now it's being remodeled around the new ideal state- one it does not fully understand yet. It's… building a different mind on top of itself, but both are Dei.

"What's wrong…?" she asks, barely holding off on saying "With you?"

His direct response is a short "I'm tired," but he never adjusted to Meaningful evolving all that time ago. Nobody ever told him that he often conveys more than he intends to, especially in times of extreme stress or emotional flare ups.

Within the message, she detects exhaustion, yes, but also several repressed emotions: fear, insecurity, and grief, along with a few that have no words such as a longing for safety, something akin to extreme touch-starvation, and a partial rejection of his own identity.

She doesn't know what to do, but she can help with one of those. She remembered how his emotional state tended to stabilize in Aloran's Garden, so she creates it again now to the best of her abilities. Setting him in the divot she made specifically to his shape and size, she sends a weak mental command to rest, saying "Then sleep."

Despite the lack of force behind it, that's enough to collapse his fragile mind, and he falls unconscious. Luckily, she feels as his desire for safety is satisfied, and he's given at least slight comfort.

Still, this isn't something she can leave to chance, so she goes straight for the only witness: Ashvorn.

Manifesting an avatar within Dei's mind- which he subconsciously accepts- she's about to send out a general request for communication into the space when a figure appears in front of her, a mishmash of spellwork and emotions.

"Ashvorn?" she asks.

[Correct]

"Good, what's wrong with him?"

[He fought with a Time Beast version of himself, which ended in a tie, both perishing in a violent explosion. The Time Beast had no soul, so it disappeared, but Dei's went to Plane of Death, where he-]

The next few ideas had no words as Ashvorn conveyed how Dei's soul dove into a subsection of reality which linked him with all existence, finding his missing pieces and pulling them through itself as he appeared to grow from his own budding flesh, going as far as to share the memories with Perumah.

Despite his brain not existing at the time, it also appeared he was fully aware during this process. Even if most of the information never passed through his mind, an unintended side effect of using Connection to stabilize his Identity in his soul left them intrinsically linked, causing him to be exposed to concepts he couldn't handle, and his mind with no corner to escape to as Connection ensured he felt all of it on some level; his time in this state left him utterly scarred.

Despite the horrific reality, Perumah now at least had a better picture of what was happening: he was forming soul-deep PTSD.

The question was, what to do with this information?

Time to consult the resident Sapients.

"Jacob, Thadria," she said from her avatar near them, indicating that her attention was now through this one rather than the garden they'd been staring at until now.

"Is he okay?" Jacob asked immediately.

"Physically? He'll live. Mentally? Unwell, which I need an answer to. He's just suffered from, let's call it two weeks of soul torture, and his mind is changing to accomodate the new memories, but this is not good. It's likely he will become more paranoid, timid, or afraid in the long-run if nothing is done. Though he will be able to recode himself once this is brought to his attention using his mind spell, it would be healthier to find an organic solution."

Thadria thought about the question, but Jacob just immediately shook his head, saying "Sorry, but I don't think there's a 'Solution' to this. Traumatic events and their effect is something well-documented on Earth, along with how the mind changes itself afterwards, but not even we have any answers. I'm glad he can fix it with magic, but everyone is affected differently, so there's no singular cure-all. The best we can do is be there for him as his friends, and guide him through whatever issues may arise."

Thadria was only confused, saying "My people never suffered from this kind of thing, so I'm unfamiliar with it."

Jacob looked at her sympathetically. "I have it on good authority the only reason your people didn't is because they didn't… live long enough… to suffer the consequences."

Thadria frowned, and asked "Whose authority?"

"Yours."

A look of realization passed through her eyes, and she deflated.

Perumah brought them back on topic by saying "That's ridiculous and inefficient. Do you not have the saying 'An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?' Why not treat it before the symptoms lock in?"

"Because we don't know what he's feeling," he said, looking at her like she was crazy, "Among humans, coping mechanisms vary wildly, and Dei is no human. I wouldn't even know where to start. By the time his 'Symptoms' as you put it begin to show, it'll be months or years down the road."

"But I know what he's feeling?" she said, baffled. "Afraid, insecure, hollow, unsafe, touch-starved, and questioning of his own mind."

"...How do you know that?"

"I'm an emotional reader? My main affinity is Heart, which gives me an emotion-sense and emotional control."

"Then why are you even asking me?" he said rhetorically, frustrated. "Respond to his emotions as they arise."

"How? What does he need?"

"You're his best friend Perumah, you would know that, not us."

The realization struck. She could say that Clever was his best friend, but Clever wasn't here, so she was the best friend he had on hand; she didn't bring up such a redundant argument.

She dissipated that particular avatar and turned her eyes on Dei. Jacob was right, she knew what he needed, which only showed by how she created the perfect environment for him to feel secure by recreating what he considered to be his childhood home. Not the one on Earth, the one he actually saw as his safe environment.

The fear, insecurity, and grief were short-term reactions which would pass quickly. The latter three responses were those she had to handle.

Dei was separated from his family when he was very young, so a desire to be hugged made sense, and it would be easy to emulate the warmth of flesh by running blood through the roots composing her avatar.

A rejection of his own identity could be fixed with encouraging words over the next few weeks, ensuring he knew she liked his current personality rather than a new standard.

Now that she had a proper plan, her worry lessened and she got to work. Creating a new body within the garden where Dei slept, she covered it in clothing of flowers to keep with social modesty, and lay on his chest, hugging him.

There was no visible change in his emotional state yet, but she didn't move. Still, she had to wonder…

'Why is Ashvorn suddenly fleeing deeper into his soul, away from his senses and emotional centers?'

* * *

POV: Dei

Dei counted himself lucky that he'd removed his Dream, as he didn't doubt he would've suffered from nightmares otherwise.

Something in him wanted to be still and continue drifting, but the faint memories of yesterday made his eyes snap open and his body twitch.

He tried sitting up, but a weight pressed down on him. Before he could strain himself or force his way up, Perumah extricated herself, looking down on him from above, and he locked up, as he realized who was not only on top of him, but currently straddling him.

"Perumah…?"

She pushed him down by the shoulders, and he slowly lowered, fighting the blush that threatened to rise.

"I like the way you are now, Dei," she said definitively, and he couldn't help it anymore as he turned completely pink.

"Perumah, what?"

"I'm sensing confusion and confliction… I apologize, let me explain. Your mind is healing wrong, I'm correcting it."

She punctuated this by lowering herself onto him again, snuggling against his chest.

"How is emulating romance supposed to help?" he asked, but found himself too weak to fight.

"Is that what that emotion is? Love?" propped herself up again, looking at him. "I don't recognize it. No, you desire physical comfort and safety."

For once, Dei regretted letting her read into his emotions so much, as he wanted to work through these feelings by himself. Alas, she wouldn't let him, throwing oil onto the fire further.

"If it would help, sex is a bonding-"

"PERUMAH!" He couldn't help but scream, and used Roving Gate to teleport into the place he was before she'd carried him into this bubble- twenty or so feet away.

He dropped to the ground, not bothering to catch himself as he fell to his knees, hiding his face behind his hand.

"Dei!" he heard Jacob and Thadria call as they ran over, starting with "Are you…?

"... Blushing?"

"N-no."

"It worked at least," Perumah said behind him, and he felt himself jump out of his skin.

"What?"

"Your psyche has mostly stabilized with minimal damage. It does not feel permanent, but repeated exposure should assist your recovery process. Perhaps taking breaks every night will help?"

"Perumah, I don't think I can have this conversation every night…" he protested weakly, but even he was acutely aware of the hollow ache in his chest at this point, the pain exacerbated by how dangerous and lonely the world felt when he was out in the open.

"If you don't want to have sex that's-"

Thadria turned away to hide her expression, while Jacob looked at Dei sympathetically, now understanding the issue.

"-completely fine, but you do need comfort and assurance. I'm not socially inept, I understand the implications, it is just inefficient to do anything else. Did Earth not have many people on it who felt wildly lonely or disconnected because of a lack of physical affection? It is normally beneficial to follow social etiquette, but one must understand when to break it as well."

He sighed deeply, and mumbled "Fine…" under his breath.

'Great, I'm trading my short-term trauma for long-term heartbreak…'