NOVEL NEXT Chapter 72
“I’ve always, always only received consideration from Kayanoh…!”
“…Huh?”
With that, Miyauchi was surprisingly biting her lip hard.
Consideration?
Have I ever considered Miyauchi?
Rather, it felt like I was always the one receiving consideration from her.
She was the one who approached me first when I felt out of place in class, suggested things every time there was a gathering, and even made arrangements for me during the cultural festival…
“M-Miyauchi, I-I always think, um, thank you for everything…”
“No, if I had been just a little more perceptive, Kayanoh wouldn’t have to be hurt or need such consideration!”
Hurt? Such consideration?
If you just listen, it sounds like I’m some kind of tragic female protagonist.
What on earth is Miyauchi talking about?
Ah.
Being dragged into this sudden gathering and this incomprehensible conversation…
Could it be that I woke up in a parallel world?!
“Even though I somewhat knew, I kept not realizing, and every time I just ended up hurting Kayanoh with my lack of thought…”
No, of course, brushing things off like this feels convenient for now, but Koga said it’s a bad habit that worsens the situation.
At times like this, I should just ask directly.
“I’m really, really sorry…”
“Hey, M-Miyauchi, I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about…”
★
A miracle.
Some might call it melodramatic, but for Miyauchi, it was undoubtedly a miracle.
It may have started with admiration.
For Miyauchi, an ordinary student, Kayanoh Mina, a classmate walking her own path without a care in the world, shone brightly.
But with light, darkness inevitably follows.
After hearing the homeroom teacher say to take good care of Kayanoh, Miyauchi wanted to curse her narrow-minded perspective.
What is this so-called light?
All she had were wounds.
She only pretended to shine to hide those wounds.
But the only one who knew that was Miyauchi in Class 1-A.
Then she had to make an effort. So that Kayanoh, burdened with so many injuries, could smile.
However, Miyauchi’s efforts never returned the expected answers.
Sometimes, Kayanoh ended up considering Miyauchi instead, and with that reversal of roles, Miyauchi’s guilt only deepened.
But it seemed her efforts weren’t in vain; during a gathering celebrating winter break and Christmas, Kayanoh offered a pitiful smile and nodded.
Surely, Kayanoh is working hard to overcome her past wounds.
Miyauchi had no doubt about that.
And her unwavering admiration and fantasy…
“…Huh?”
Shattered in an instant.
★
We moved out of the classroom to avoid the gazes of others and settled in front of the restroom.
What I discovered was that there was a tremendous gap between Miyauchi’s perception and mine.
What’s going on?
For some reason, Miyauchi… No, the image of me in our class is extremely strange, isn’t it?
I thought I was just the awkward, socially inept girl, but it seems they think I’m a pitiful beauty who keeps her distance due to past wounds?
The only overlap is that I’m a beauty.
“So, it’s not as if I actually had some bad past…”
“I’m just shy…”
“The reason the teacher mentioned something is…”
“Um, back in middle school, my personality caused some, uh, issues with the homeroom teacher… so maybe that’s what they were talking about?”
“…Huh?”
Miyauchi momentarily lost her thoughts, unable to comprehend.
“Is that true, Kayanoh?”
“Yes.”
And upon hearing my answer, her face turned bright red in an instant.
“So, then, what about the reasons you’ve been avoiding gatherings until now…?”
“I-I thought that if I went when I’m not close with my classmates, everyone would feel awkward…”
“That can’t be…”
Miyauchi covered her face with her palm.
But thanks to her bright red face peeking through her fingers, I could easily understand her feelings.
Why did this misunderstanding occur?
I just can’t understand.
It must be because of my beauty, right?
What seemed like a mindless action to me takes on a completely different meaning to others.
Scary, superficial judgments!
“Up until now, what kind of misunderstanding have I… no, have we had…?”
Exactly.
While I think I’m entirely innocent, at this point, it does feel a bit frightening.
But should I actually be thankful for the benefits I’ve gained from it?
“Ahh. Still, it’s a relief if Kayanoh didn’t actually have any wounds…”
“…But, um, do you think other classmates think like you, Miyauchi?”
“…I think everyone probably thinks similarly.”
“Then, I want to clear up that misunderstanding…”
“…I’ll try to make an effort once. It won’t be easy, though.”
“U-Uh, please do your best…”
Even so, I think keeping this gap in perception isn’t a good thing.
Even if I’m innocent, others might feel deceived by me.
So I’ll become the proud awkward girl in Class A from now on…!
★
“Did you have fun?”
“Yes…”
All I did was sit in a corner reciting the Heart Sutra, but I can say I participated in the Christmas party, right?
“Where’s the cake and chicken?”
“It’s here.”
Dragging my mentally exhausted body to the pre-ordered restaurant was indeed tiring.
But thinking about eating chicken with cola gives me strength.
Chicken and cola are unbeatable and divine.
“Then go wash up and come out.”
“Yes~.”
To welcome the divine, I need to cleanse myself first.
★
[Gray City Today is the last #KainohIzumi#StarsFlow#GrayCity]
“Today was Christmas, how did everyone spend it?”
The topic of conversation before starting Gray City was, of course, Christmas.
-Just stayed home
-Ordered chicken and waited for Mei’s stream
-Watching Mei’s stream at this time is a reward
“Ah, thank you for waiting…”
-Luckily, the chicken didn’t get cold
“Hey, should I bring my chicken and eat it together?”
I had half a chicken left over from eating with Mom.
When I think about it, I could have polished off a whole chicken by myself in my previous life, but now I can’t even finish one alone.
Of course, I did eat the Christmas cake before, but I probably wouldn’t have any left even if I hadn’t.
-Did you eat it with your family?
“Yeah. Well, my sister was busy and wasn’t there.”
That’s why I received almost 20 DMs from my sister begging to come home.
Seeing her despairing about having no time to rest made me realize how hard it is being a successful model.
“Oh, by the way, today, I went to karaoke with my classmates for the Christmas party…”
-No way
-Our Mei wouldn’t do that
-Even if she did, I can see her just being in the corner and not doing anything
-There’s no way Mei would sing in front of people, haha
-I wonder how she’ll handle the live performance later
“What? Why would a shy girl like me just stay in the corner? I had a blast!”
…Did these guys know me too well?
It’s a little scary.
“So, I’m curious, isn’t it embarrassing to sing in front of other people…?”
Worried that I might not hit the right pitches or beats.
If someone sings better than me, it’s kind of disappointing, you know?
-That’s not a question for a self-proclaimed social butterfly JK
-Ah, I get it
-Definitely, there’s pressure when singing in front of others
“Exactly? So then, is it wrong for me to just sit quietly at the Christmas gathering without singing?!”
Those who sang nonchalantly seemed even weirder to me!
-Ahaha, the true feelings came out
-No, that’s just Mei being shy and socially inept…
-There’s a difference between being self-conscious and being able to sing
-This is the same person who just claimed earlier that they’re the social butterfly, right?
-What kind of confidence did they have to speak so boldly like that?
-Confident Mei is adorable
-No one relates to her, though, haha
“…Huh?”
What’s this?
In an instant, all my allies vanished.
Wait, were those supportive players in Izutomo not really my allies?
I see.
“Izutomo must actually all be social butterflies outside….”
-Mei is also a (self-proclaimed) social butterfly JK!
-Come on, you can do it!
What should I say?
Realizing this makes me feel less motivated to stream.
But I can’t just leave things like this, can I? Should I end the small talk here?
I thought everyone would relate to what I said, yet I’m left feeling even lonelier.
It feels like the chicken has gone cold, peck peck…
★
-So, are we ending Gray City today?
“Yeah. We’ve been at it for quite a while, and have tried almost all the content.”
-Among them, the most fun was, of course, Oceanus
“…Shut up.”
Fortunately, I haven’t had any awkward moments with Natsune since then.
I’m the kind of awkward person who doesn’t get overly immersed in games anyway.
-So, what will you do now?
“First, I’m planning to blow up the fort in the end.”
Actually, I thought everyone apart from me would consistently enjoy Gray City, so I considered leaving it in a communal warehouse, but I think explosive endings are the way to go in moments like this.
I’ve even acquired alien technology for this purpose.
Wouldn’t it be super cool if the house blew up from glowing rays from the sky?
It’s every guy’s dream.
“And then, uh, I’ll use all the skills I’ve gathered so far to do something fun together…”
Hehe.
I’ve collected heaps of materials all alone for this.
With this, I’ll become the god of Gray City…!
-Mei’s been overly confident and it’s usually a disaster
-Watching Mei has taught me that one should always remain humble
-Mei’s stream is amazing, teaching lessons as well~!