Chapter 55
In the VTuber industry, there’s a term called ‘mama.’
It’s a title given to the illustrator responsible for designing a VTuber, and naturally, I also had a mama.
And a very famous one, at that.
[What do I think about Mei-chan’s recent broadcasts? Honestly, I’m quite worried. Every time Mei-chan messes up, I get DMs from the haters…]
Yukino Toka.
The illustrator who designed and drew my VTuber avatar, Izumi Kainoh.
In other words, my mama.
Wait a minute. How many moms do I actually have?
The mom from my previous life and my current mom.
Though I deny it, Koga-san and Senpai Kurokami also sort of fit the mom position.
And then there’s Toka Mama…
Five moms in total…!
Waaah. I’m baby Izumi. Please take care of me.
[Honestly, I think it’s a relief that she’s not causing as much trouble lately. After her debut, when she went on hiatus for two weeks, I was flooded with DMs, you know?]
-That’s just hilarious LOL
-The debut of the Yeo-sang Queen
Anyway, Toka Mama was an extremely famous illustrator in the drawing industry.
So much so that one reason I became a hot topic after my debut was because I was Toka Mama’s first child.
The design for the VTuber done by a top-tier illustrator came out with astonishing quality.
This meant the stagnation in the VTuber market was definitely starting to revive, so it couldn’t help but grab attention.
-Do you two often keep in touch?
[…I guess it’s a teenage thing because she’s a high school student. I try to initiate conversations, but it feels hard to say we’re actually chatting.]
That comment filled the chatroom with laughter.
It’s true that I’ve become friends with Toka Mama and Miscode, and I get DMs from them often.
To be honest, I think it would be fine if we interacted like normal friends.
In the end, I’m going to keep using Toka Mama’s illustrations anyway.
[Do you want to get a bit closer? Of course! She’s my first daughter, after all.]
-I think Mei-chan might need to clarify this.
-The ungrateful daughter avoiding conversations with Mom…
-It’s Yeo-sang, isn’t it?
-But I think I’d avoid Toka Mama’s messages too…
[What are you saying? I have no intention of becoming your mama!]
-LOL
But I have my reasons for avoiding Toka Mama’s messages.
No matter how much I’ve grown, there are unavoidable reasons.
[Yukino Toka: Izumi. How about we actually meet for a meal sometime?]
[Yukino Toka: I really want to meet you]
[Yukino Toka: Izumi? I’m sure we will get along well]
[Yukino Toka: I’m always enjoying your streams]
[Yukino Toka: Are you really avoiding me? That’s so mean to Mama (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ)]
[Yukino Toka: Well, I feel like we’ll see each other soon anyway!]
Look at this.
Isn’t it super scary?
That’s definitely beyond casual conversation.
She sends me DMs almost every day, and casually chatting back is impossible.
No matter how much I like cute girls, there are limits…
I’ve been receiving messages like this since almost right after my debut, and it’s a miracle I haven’t reported her yet!
-If it’s Mei-chan, she might just be too embarrassed to do that.
-Why not approach her a little more actively?
[Hmm. I see? I might have been a bit too cautious.]
“…Huh?”
That’s what you call being cautious?
[From today onward, I’ll try to approach her more actively!]
…Am I really going to have to block her though?
★
“Wh-what should I do…?”
[Well, honestly, I’m not sure. I’m pretty close with my mama, but we don’t have that kind of obsession. That’s abnormal to begin with.]
“Y-you’re right, aren’t you? My situation is… kind of weird?”
Is reporting the only option left?
Is it really the only way to report Mama…?
[Well, judging by what we heard from Izumi, it does seem strange, but we can’t take Izumi’s words at face value.]
“…Huh?”
I felt my breath hitch at Yukari Akabane’s words.
I have no reason to lie about this, but if you don’t believe me as a friend, that hurts.
“Th-then does that mean Yukari won’t be in the mom position anymore…?”
[No way I’d take that position. It’s not that I don’t believe what Izumi says, but I don’t trust her communication skills.]
“I-I’ve improved a lot…!”
Of course, managing conversations with multiple people at once is still tough, and I feel nauseous and dizzy if I meet someone’s eyes in reality, but at least I’m not avoiding conversations entirely now.
And the most important part about my stuttering… let’s keep that as one of my symbols.
[But the opponent might just want to be friends. There’s no way you’d say ‘Eek! This person is scary…’ over basic messages, right?]
“….”
My communication skills. Doesn’t that seem too low?
Yukari seems to think I’m someone who has no friends at school and gets scared just from someone trying to talk to me…
…That doesn’t feel entirely wrong.
“Well, anyway, I feel confident about this situation!”
Even if I am such a level of a loner, the DMs from Toka Mama are still a bit strange.
If this is the level of conversation among normal insiders, then I want no part of that.
[Just how intense are the messages for you to feel that way?]
“Th-that is…”
It feels awkward to share DMs sent by others directly.
So when explaining to Yukari, I said,
‘Mama seems to be obsessing over me to a scary degree. What should I do?’
That was the level I conveyed.
[Well, I’m not saying you should show me your DMs. But think about it. Did Toka-sensei really start obsessing over you from the beginning? Right after your debut, you barely talked to me and Suzuha, right? So it could’ve been a mistake from Izumi.]
“Umm….”
…Indeed, back then, I might have just been too frightened to talk to someone I didn’t know, consequently avoiding her completely.
Shall I check?
[Yukino Toka: Izumi. I watched your stream!]
[Yukino Toka: There were some worries, but it was definitely an interesting stream.]
[Yukino Toka: Izumi, how about we meet up this time?]
[Yukino Toka: I have so much I want to discuss.]
[Yukino Toka: You don’t need to feel pressured to call me Mama.]
[Yukino Toka: Treat me like a friend or older sister!]
“…At first, it really did feel like she was super obsessed.”
It all clicked.
I remembered why I felt something strange from Toka Mama’s first DMs and turned off notifications.
Look at that! She casually calls me by name without any honorifics in her first DM.
Isn’t that terrifying, even if she is my mama?
[…Really?]
“Yes, um… a lot…”
It turns out I’m not the strange one here.
[I see… But I have one question: what kind of answer do you want right now?]
“…Huh?”
[That’s what I’m saying. If you’re really uncomfortable with the situation, you can just block her and be done with it. There might be some yandere incidents later, but that can be dealt with by just showing the DM content. Even if I call her Mama, fundamentally, we’re still in a business relationship, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.]
It’s true that Yukari’s words were correct.
There are actually quite a few VTubers who don’t have good relationships with their mamas.
Simply blocking her would end the situation.
[But right now, Izumi seems to want to maintain a relationship with Toka-sensei despite everything. It seems like she’s seeking a way to reduce her obsession without blocking her.]
Yukari’s words hit home, and I found myself at a loss for words.
The truth is that I wanted to avoid going as far as blocking Toka Mama.
Not only because I need to keep using her avatar, but there’s another fundamental reason.
“Well, you know, Yukari, drawing is my hobby.”
[…Ah.]
“So, I wouldn’t want to cut ties by blocking her… or something like that.”
I really do love drawing.
I liked drawing in my previous life and I love it in this life too.
Even before recalling my past life, I loved drawing as if it were my destiny in this life.
Of course, in my past life, I was so busy making a living that I hardly got to touch the tablet I barely bought, and in this life, before regaining any memories, I only doodled in a notebook.
But now I can draw on my tablet whenever I want and have even learned it quite seriously, so I can honestly say I love drawing.
Well, I’m not thinking of making it a profession or anything.
Anyway, that’s why I want to build a good relationship with the top illustrator in the industry, “Yukino Toka.”
And above all.
“I-I’ve loved Toka-sensei’s illustrations for a long time.”
To me, Toka-sensei’s art feels familiar yet something I want to keep gazing at, and it’s one of the goals I aspire to reach in my own art.
[Well, this is complicated then. Maybe it’s an opportunity instead? Since Toka-sensei is the one making the first move, you could take advantage of this chance to get closer.]
“It is true, but scary is still scary…”
[…Yeah.]
Please don’t sigh, Yukari.
This is an incredibly important issue for me…
Are people like Yukari, who are more social, not able to understand me?
I feel lonely…
★
In the end, I couldn’t figure out a solution and ended the call with Yukari.
Am I really just left with blocking?
As I pondered this while staring at the ceiling, I heard the sound of the door lock turning from outside.
“…Huh?”
Today is Saturday. And the time is 2 PM.
It should definitely be the day my mother’s business trip ends, but I already got a message earlier.
[Mom: I’ll probably arrive around 6 PM]
There’s still four hours left.
Not to mention, my sister wouldn’t have come either.
She said she’s been too busy lately and might not be able to come home by year-end.
So who the heck…?
“Eeeek….”
As a bad thought crossed my mind, I felt chills creeping up my back.
And then, with heavy footsteps, the sound resounded.
“Hmm, is no one here…?”
Along with the unfamiliar woman’s voice, my door opened.
“Ah, found you….”
“AAAAH!!!”
“WHAAAH?!”