NOVEL NEXT Chapter 343
Shiro thought of school as a place full of fakes.
Fakes who didn’t care at all about Shirazaki Shiro.
Fakes who wanted to suck up to her just because they noticed she was the daughter of a wealthy family without even knowing what the Shirazaki family was all about.
Going to school was entirely uninteresting.
She only enrolled in high school because her older brother advised her that it was better to graduate high school in modern society.
And there, Shiro met someone.
“I’m HatsuYuki Yoru! I want to be an idol!”
For the first time, she made a friend.
“Huh? Really? Is that possible? No way!”
Yoru had no interest in what kind of family Shiro came from.
“Is it really possible for a Japanese person to have never seen an anime or manga, Onee-chan?!”
“Isn’t it natural that such people exist…?”
Yoru simply cared about her classmate, ‘Shirazaki Shiro’.
Completely clueless about the world. Never enjoyed cultures like anime or manga. Her hobbies consisted of playing traditional instruments from around the world and various sports.
Hearing such ‘young lady-like’ hobbies from Shiro genuinely touched Yoru.
“I-I can’t believe there’s a natural treasure like you…!”
“You shouldn’t assume everyone is an otaku like you, Yoru.”
Ironically, Yoru herself had less knowledge about the world in specific fields than Shiro.
Anyway, that was how their bond began.
“This is an anime that came out this quarter. I think Shirazaki-san might like it!”
“I’ll give it a try, Yoru-san.”
Due to living in the hospital until middle school, Yoru couldn’t form ordinary human relationships.
“It’s a bit embarrassing, but… my dream is to be an idol. So, please cheer for me, Shiro-chan?”
“If Yoru-san is really aiming for that dream, I’ll support you with all my might.”
Human relationships. Shiro had grown tired of them.
“I didn’t pass again, Shiro…”
“It’s okay, Yoru. You’ll definitely pass next time.”
That was how they became each other’s first friend.
And today.
“Let’s become VTubers, Yoru.”
“I really don’t want to?!”
For the first time, they had a fight.
Well, it was more like Yoru was just getting angry unilaterally.
★
“Yoru. Let’s become VTubers!”
“Isn’t it okay to try it at least once?”
“Wahhh!!! Stop it, both of you!!!”
Since that day, Onee-chan and Shiro kept saying I should try becoming a VTuber.
Of course, they didn’t stop me from applying to the idol agency.
They still enthusiastically cheered for me like usual.
They just added to their suggestion of trying to become a VTuber whenever I mentioned I’d failed.
But right now, that alone is really bugging me?!
“I’ve told you like a hundred times that being a VTuber isn’t my dream of becoming an idol?! The market has collapsed! Even the remaining indie VTubers are mainly active in gaming or chatting, not as idols!”
“… I know.”
“Then!”
“But I think it’s worth a try.”
“Ugh….”
Why won’t Onee-chan and Shiro just give up?
My dream is to be an idol, not a VTuber!
“Aaaah! I don’t care! I’m leaving!”
“Yoru! Wait!”
I started running away to be alone, shaking off the hands of Onee-chan and Shiro who were trying to follow me.
Since I’ve been exercising steadily without rest since my hospital days…!
“You’re slow, Yoru.”
“Huh.”
…Thinking back, Shiro was the one who exercised more than I did.
In the end, my escape was caught by Shiro within five seconds.
“By the way, just now, Shiro… you looked an awful lot like an anime character.”
“…It’s because I’ve watched a ton of the anime Yoru recommended.”
“Is that my fault?!”
“Fufu….”
Onee-chan and Shiro chuckled at my exaggerated reaction.
Well, since the atmosphere had improved, we could just let it slide…
“So, Yoru?”
There wouldn’t be anything left, huh.
“Is being a VTuber… absolutely something you don’t want to do?”
“…Yes. I absolutely don’t want to. I want to stand on stage and be an idol.”
As I stretched my arm and answered, Onee-chan sighed and stood up.
“…I see. If that’s the case, then I can’t help it. I’m sorry. I’ve been putting too much pressure on you lately.”
And saying that, Onee-chan left the room… looking incredibly lonely.
…But I’m fine, right?
I wanted to be an idol in the first place, and it was Onee-chan who suggested something like being a VTuber?!
“Ugh….”
“Yoru.”
“Yeah?”
“Yoru… is it your dream to become an idol?”
Huh?
Why are you suddenly asking such a question?
“Yes. You know that, right, Shiro?”
“No. The Yoru I know has a different dream. Yoru didn’t really want to be an idol.”
“…What?”
“I’ll ask you again, Yoru. Is it really your dream to be an idol? Or is it just part of the process to achieve your dream?”
“What… does that even mean?”
“I will support your dream until the end. You are my first real friend. But these days, when I see you… it seems like you’re not working hard for your dream, but just to become an idol.”
After saying that, Shiro stood up and nodded her head at me.
“If what I just said upset you, I’m sorry. If I was overstepping, then I’m sorry for that, too. But please know that I really hope Yoru… can achieve your dream.”
…Why are Onee-chan and Shiro saying things like this?
I want to be an idol, not a VTuber.
Since my days in the hospital, what I’ve always wanted to be after seeing that video has been…
★
Since that day, Onee-chan and Shiro haven’t brought up anything about becoming a VTuber.
That doesn’t mean there wasn’t any conversation between us.
We remained as friendly sisters and friends as always.
“…I didn’t pass again.”
I failed to get through this time too.
The reason was, of course, still the illness that continues to gnaw at me.
“Ugh… I’m so tired~!”
I shouted while letting out the pent-up frustrations inside me.
How many times has this been?
Will I be able to pass next time?
Right now, I’m in my third year of high school.
Graduation is already just around the corner.
For idols, every passing day is lethal.
That’s why I want to debut at least before graduating from high school…
[Are they all having fun?! I’m standing here because of you all!]
“What are you thinking standing there?”
Of course, ‘she’ in the video didn’t respond at all.
“Sigh….”
I sighed while looking at the ceiling, lost in complicated thoughts.
Should I really give up like this?
On the thought of becoming an idol.
On the desire to stand on stage.
On the dream…
“Yoru!”
Bang! The door swung open.
And it was Onee-chan and Shiro who entered the room.
“Onee-chan? Shiro?”
“We’re soon to graduate as well, you know?”
“…Yeah.”
“You know how important time is for idols, right?”
“Yeah….”
“Knowing that, do you still want to be an idol, Yoru?”
“I do.”
“But you don’t want to be a VTuber?”
I quietly nodded at Onee-chan’s question.
Because being a VTuber is still a symbol of falsehood that can’t show my true self.
“…Are you still going to dislike this, Yoru?”
“Huh?”
As Shiro said that, she showed me a screen.
[Please love me a little more!]
A VTuber was singing.
With hair as black as obsidian and ruby-red eyes.
The VTuber, dressed in beige school uniform, was cheerfully smiling while singing.
And that voice was definitely…
“Onee-chan?”
“Yeah. This VTuber is me. I go by the name SaiYoru Miyuki…”
Onee-chan, saying that, was smiling awkwardly as if embarrassed.
“In order to tell you to try becoming a VTuber, I felt like I needed to understand this industry better… So, I started after that day. And my main content is… not gaming or chatting, but singing.”
Singing?
I felt like Onee-chan didn’t like singing that much…
“It was really hard. Streaming is tough, viewers can be cruel… And just because I’m trying hard doesn’t mean that people will watch me a lot. Honestly, it was really difficult. But you know what?”
Onee-chan’s awkward smile slowly turned into a natural smile.
“It was so much fun when I sang, and the fans enjoyed it… Really, I loved it. At first, I started because of you, Yoru, but now it’s not like that. I do it because I enjoy it and have fun.”
The smile I knew from Onee-chan.
Pure, genuine, and natural.
“Yoru. I asked you last year, didn’t I? Is it your dream to be an idol? Or is it just part of the process to achieve your dream? I still haven’t heard your answer back then.”
“Uh, well… um…”
Since that day.
I always wanted to be an idol.
…Why?
Why did I want to be an idol?
It must have been…
“Wait a sec, Shiro. I’ll definitely give you my answer by tomorrow….”
“Got it.”
With that last exchange, Onee-chan and Shiro left the room.
My mind… is in chaos.
★
[I still love you!]
That video that made me dream of becoming an idol… I was watching it again for the first time in a while.
I thought that maybe watching this could help me find an answer.
‘Is Yoru really dreaming of being an idol? Or is it just a part of the process to achieve her dream?’
What did Shiro’s words mean?
“I’m doing this because I enjoy it and I’m having fun.”
Were Onee-chan’s words sincere?
I don’t know.
I truly have no idea.
Why did I want to be an idol?
After randomly watching that video during my hospital days, why did I take up becoming an idol as my dream?
What was it that I really wanted back then…
Slowly, I took my phone and opened up the messages.
It contained cruel news that I didn’t want to see, that I couldn’t be with them.
Of course, there was no smile on my face.
Idols were supposed to be people who shared smiles with everyone.
“Ugh….”
My complicated thoughts wouldn’t easily settle down.
I thought that the story had ended, but why are Onee-chan and Shiro bringing up the VTuber discussion again now…
What exactly is VTuber all about?
With that thought in mind, I quietly searched for [VTuber] on OnTube.
The result was a video of a woman.
I already knew who she was.
The one Onee-chan and Shiro mentioned, the person who started it all.
I think she’s an amazing person, regardless of my reluctance to become a VTuber.
She’s someone who created a new path where nothing existed.
Well, I only have the knowledge, and I’ve never actually watched any of her videos.
“…Should I give it a go?”
I suddenly thought.
I felt somehow that if I watched this, I might understand what Onee-chan and Shiro were thinking even just a little.
Having thought that far, I quietly clicked on the video.
[Let’s start with ‘Virtual’!]
[The term ‘Virtual OnTube’ sounds kinda cool, right?]
I could see her… smiling.
★
“Onee-chan!”
“…Huh? Yoru?”
As I opened the door, Onee-chan rubbed her eyes and looked up.
I felt guilty for waking her up, but right now there was something more important to talk about.
“…I’ve decided. Just like Onee-chan and Shiro said, I’m going to become a VTuber.”
“Huh? Suddenly?!”
I finally realized.
Why I had dreamed of becoming an idol.
“Is Yoru dreaming of being an idol? Or is it a journey to achieve a dream?”
Why Shiro said those words.
…I wanted to be an idol.
But being an idol wasn’t my dream.
[I still love you!]
The reason I wanted to be an idol was that they always sparkled brightly.
Because an idol was someone who shared that light and smiles with fans.
Because I wanted my mom. My dad. Onee-chan to smile, I wanted to be an idol!
As Shiro said, being an idol was merely part of the process.
I had a different dream.
“It wasn’t fake…”
Onee-chan happily enjoying being a VTuber.
The fans cheerfully supporting her.
The ‘her’ from the past who sang and danced on stage.
Even the fans of ‘her’. Every smile from those fans was genuine, not fake.
So, if that’s the case…
“Yeah! That’s enough!”
I’m sure I can become an idol.
★
“Does Natsune have anyone she admires? An idol perhaps?”
“Huh? Out of nowhere?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at Izumi’s sudden question.
But I didn’t really mind the question; after all, it made sense.
Every time the topic of favorites came up in the broadcast, I would dodge the question.
It’s only natural for Izumi, who wants to know everything about me, to be curious about this part.
…Well, considering that, I thought this question was rather sudden before a live performance.
“…Of course I do.”
“Really? C-Can you tell me about them?”
“Unfortunately, it’s a secret! But let me give you a hint… there are two of them.”
“Two?”
“Yup. Thanks to those two, I haven’t given up and have come this far.”
“C-Could it be… is it me?!”
What kind of answer is that?!
“Of course not!”
What a ridiculous response! I gently slapped Izumi’s forehead.
“Ouch?!”
“As if Izumi could dream of being an idol by looking up to me, especially since you’re my junior!”
“Waaah… If you say that, I have nothing to say…”
Well, Izumi is undoubtedly one of the reasons I’ve managed to keep going this far.
But it’s still embarrassing to say it in front of her.
“Nanasex-chan! Izumi-chan! Please start preparing soon!”
“We better head out, Izumi.”
“…Yes!”
And so, I sing again today.
Hoping that everyone listening to my song will smile.
Thinking of the two who have supported me since the beginning.
Because… I’m an idol!