NOVEL NEXT Chapter 341
My world began from pure white.
No matter where I looked around, white walls blocked me.
Even my hair looked just like them… When I was young, I really hated this whiteness.
“Are you okay, HatsuYuki Yoru?”
My family was kind.
They tried their best to fulfill everything I wanted and always smiled as if they didn’t want to burden me.
But.
“I know everything~.”
Mom, Dad, Yuyika—everyone was foolish.
Just because I had been living in the hospital since I was born didn’t mean I didn’t understand the world at all.
I already knew how blessed I was to be born into this home.
And I already knew how cursed I was too.
Well, the doctor told my family not to say anything, so I never shared these thoughts.
“Sigh… so frustrating…!”
It really was frustrating.
This year, I turned 7.
In other words, I’ve been living in this hospital for 7 years.
They say it’s because of a congenital condition called albinism.
Different from my family.
My white hair and red eyes, which I can see in the mirror, are caused by this condition.
I even heard that I was prone to illnesses since I was little because of it.
Well, thinking about that, I can’t say I don’t understand why Mom and Dad worry.
“…HatsuYuki Yoru, are you awake?”
“Oh, Yuyika!”
As I was grumbling to myself, my sister Yuyika cautiously opened the door.
“Was school fun?”
“Yeah. I hope HatsuYuki Yoru gets healthy soon so we can go together.”
“Hehe… I want to go to school with you too~.”
“…Yeah.”
Whenever I bring this up, Yuyika always lowers her head apologetically.
She hasn’t done anything wrong, so why does she do that?
“HatsuYuki Yoru, it’s exercise time.”
“Okay~! Are you joining me today, Yuyika?”
“Yeah. Let’s go together.”
So, while chatting with my sister, exercise time arrived again.
I hardly have any chance to move outside, so the doctor told me I should take this time to exercise.
Honestly, it’s a bit annoying, but I don’t exactly dislike it either.
Sitting still is boring after all.
“Teacher! How much healthier have I gotten today?!”
“Hehe… with you, HatsuYuki Yoru, I’m sure you could become an athlete one day.”
“Yes! Then my dream from today is to become an athlete!”
Phew! With a shout of spirit, I sprinted with all my might, making Yuyika and the nurse giggle.
“Hehe!”
Seeing them smile made me naturally break into a grin.
Yep.
Seeing other people smile makes me happy too!
★
“I’m already 9 years old….”
“Anyone would think HatsuYuki Yoru is a grandma.”
The nurse smiled at my words.
“Well, you’re not a grandma, but….”
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a short time at all.
I swallowed my words.
“Then I guess I’ll go now. You know what to do if you need me, just press this button, okay?”
“Okay….”
With that final instruction, the nurse left the room.
Silence engulfed me. The fact that I was all alone wrapped around me.
Today, Yuyika, Mom, and Dad were all busy and couldn’t visit.
I’ve experienced this more than once, so I don’t really feel lonely anymore.
More than anything….
Hup!
With this laptop, I wouldn’t have a moment of boredom!
The laptop Dad bought me at the start of the year has become an absolute joy in my hospital life.
Thanks to this laptop, my hobbies have grown immensely.
Among them, my favorite is definitely OnTube.
I can watch everything I want.
Animations or TV shows I want to see again. Even gameplay!
“Hehe~.”
With a snort, I logged into OnTube today as well.
Now, what should I watch while scrolling down?
Should I continue that gameplay I was watching last time?
Now that I think about it, I also need to check out the PV for the new anime that’s coming out….
Thinking that, I started browsing the recommended videos.
★
“Huh…?”
Suddenly, when I opened my eyes, it was already dark outside the window.
“Did I fall asleep?”
I must have dozed off while watching OnTube.
I was sitting up against the bed, feeling sore in my back.
Moreover, something was playing on the laptop screen, and sounds kept flowing into my headphones.
When I sneakily glanced at the time, it was already 1 AM.
“I should lie down and sleep….”
Since I have to wake up early for a check-up after a long time.
Thinking that, just as I was about to turn off my laptop…
[Because I still love you!]
I got distracted by the light coming from the laptop.
Twinkle, twinkle.
Cutely.
Beautifully.
The girls on stage sparkled more dazzlingly than anyone, as if they were the protagonists of this world.
And the fans watching from the stage beamed sincerely as they cheered.
“Wow….”
I couldn’t figure out what to say.
“I see….”
So this is what an idol is.
Someone who sparkles more than anyone and brings smiles to all the fans—this is what an idol is….
If I said I wanted to be an idol…
No, if I become an idol… would Mom, Dad, and Yuyika smile just like before?
Yep, I’m sure they would.
Not a single one of the people on this screen looks like they would cry!
★
After the long-awaited check-up, in a gathering with my family, I boldly declared.
“I want to be an idol.”
I want to be an idol.
I want to shine just like the girls I watched all night yesterday.
Certainly, Mom and Dad would be happy.
Yuyika would cheer me on like always.
I thought this right up until the time I got the check-up.
“I’m sorry, HatsuYuki Yoru. Mom… Mom is so sorry…!”
“Why… what crime did our HatsuYuki Yoru commit….”
Yet for some reason, Mom and Dad began to cry at my words.
…Why?
“Oh, Yuyika? Mom and Dad are….”
“HatsuYuki Yoru….”
Even my sister, who always stood by my side, said nothing.
Instead, she turned her gaze away and bit her lip for some reason.
I don’t understand…
“Did I do something wrong?”
No one answered that question.
Rather, Mom and Dad cried even more.
I just thought it would be nice if we could all smile together… but I ended up making everyone cry.
A sense of guilt began to wash over me.
★
“I see….”
After the commotion of the day passed, I found out many things by researching on my phone.
Why Mom and Dad cried and apologized to me.
Why Yuyika said nothing.
“It’s impossible… isn’t it?”
With this fragile body, I could never keep up with the schedule of an idol.
In other words, it’s a dream that’s impossible to achieve.
“I don’t want to….”
But I hated it.
“I really want to be….”
It would definitely be hard.
There would be plenty of tough things.
[Because I still love you!]
“I want to shine brightly too…!”
But the idols I saw were those who maintained bright smiles on stage, even when it was tough.
They were the ones who shared smiles with their fans.
So I absolutely didn’t want to give up.
No, I couldn’t give up.
Because Mom, Dad, and Yuyika were smiling less and less.
I wanted my beloved family to smile more.
If I became an idol, I’d definitely be their number one fan, right?
Yeah. So I…
“I want to be an idol….”
★
“HatsuYuki Yoru! Don’t push yourself too hard!”
I felt my breath getting rough, and the nurse was trying to stop me, but I couldn’t stop.
If I stop here, it would definitely be over.
“I-It’s okay…. I can do this much….”
Right now, the most important thing for me was building stamina to keep up with the schedule of an idol.
But till now, the exercises I did in the hospital were purely for ‘maintaining basic stamina’.
There’s no way that with just this level of stamina I could become an idol and dance and sing on stage.
So from now on, I had to slowly build up my stamina.
Only then would I be able to grab the opportunity if it miraculously came my way someday.
With this body, if I didn’t push beyond my limits, I wouldn’t even be given the chance to seize a miracle.
“A little bit more….”
“HatsuYuki Yoru….”
★
Thirteen years old.
Finally, from today, I will be discharged and live at home.
Was it due to increasing my exercise since that day?
I was told my body has gotten healthy enough for outpatient treatment.
Mom, Dad, and even Yuyika cried tears of joy at the news.
“Phew!”
“HatsuYuki Yoru? Wait a minute?!”
The air I felt for the first time on the walking path was refreshing.
Yep.
Even if the doctor said not to push myself too hard after being discharged, I couldn’t just stand still in front of this!
“HatsuYuki Yoru, just a little bit slowly…!”
“Yuyika!!!”
“Yes?!”
“Can I become an idol?!”
I knew.
I knew how sad this question made my family.
But… I still couldn’t give up.
I still admired the idols who made everyone around them smile.
“HatsuYuki Yoru….”
Perhaps Yuyika wouldn’t answer me.
She never has before.
But still, I….
“Yes. You can do it.”
“…Huh?”
“HatsuYuki Yoru, you can definitely become an idol. No, I’ll make sure of it.”
“Yuyika…?”
Yuyika, who said that, was smiling.
The smile I used to see often when she would always greet me with a big smile.
★
“I hate Yuyika!!! You fool!!!”
“HatsuYuki Yoru!!! Wait! What kind of language is that?!”
“It’s just a 5 minute difference!!!”
“HatsuYuki Yoru?!”