Ballistic Coefficient

Neither of them slept through the night at all. Instead, they simply sat in silence in the boat as it drifted back to the mainland. Kayla's crying had eventually tapered off, but it had been replaced with catatonia – she was doing little more than staring off in the distance, a glazed look in her eyes, saying nothing and not moving a muscle. The only indicators that she was even alive were the gentle trickle of blood from the gash in her skull and the occasional sniffle she would let out, which cut through the night like a bullet.

Pale was faring no better. The events of the past few hours played over and over in her mind, each repetition more vivid than the last. She grit her teeth as she watched Kayla's father die for what had to be the hundredth time that night. Try as she might, Pale could not block the images from replaying in her mind. A small part of her recognized this as a good thing – it let her pinpoint exactly where she had gone wrong, and what she could adjust for the next time she needed to undertake a similar mission.

But that reassurance did little to numb the cold sting of failure she felt lancing through her heart with every passing moment.

Pale lowered her head as she watched Kayla's father die yet again. She'd failed, and not only that, she'd failed in a way that couldn't be recovered from. Even if Sven had been blasted to pieces in her artillery barrage, it wouldn't bring the hostages he'd taken back from the dead.

Worse than her failure on its own was the knowledge that she'd let down her biggest ally in a way that could not be recovered from. Kayla had trusted her to complete the mission and bring her father back safely, and yet she hadn't managed to do even that much. He was dead, and that was final.

A heavy sigh escaped her as the thought echoed through her mind yet again. Across from her, Kayla sniffled once more, and Pale hesitated before moving to sit next to her, reaching into her pocket as she did so.

"I'm sorry," she quietly offered as she retrieved a small medical kit. "It's my fault he's gone. I can never make up for that failure."

Kayla said nothing, and in fact didn't even acknowledge her as she opened the kit and began to pull out what meager medical supplies she'd thought to carry on her person. It wasn't much, but the antiseptic and surgical glue would be enough for Kayla's wound.

"Here, let me get that wound taken care of."

Pale took an antiseptic wipe and began to press it against the gash in Kayla's head, only for Kayla to suddenly lash out and take her by the wrist, stopping her. Pale froze, unsure of what was about to happen, but to her surprise, Kayla merely looked over to her for the first time, fixing her with a pointed gaze.

"What was going through your mind when you blew up the village?" she softly asked.

Pale blinked. "We needed to escape-"

"There were women and children there, Pale. You killed them the same as the rest. Or is that just what war is like where you're from?"

"That's war everywhere," Pale said softly. "I take no pleasure in deaths such as that. But sometimes, they are unavoidable. You have to understand, every action I take here has to be weighed against the possibility of what will happen if I fail to return home as soon as possible. Yes, innocent people died back there… but if I had been captured or killed, then scores more innocents would have died back in my own system. Every delay I suffer here means more dead people back home. Does that make sense?"

"So, that's it, then?" Kayla asked. "It's a kind of… coldly calculated rationality with you, nothing more?"

Pale nodded. Kayla pursed her lips, averting her gaze again. "…You don't seem to understand, Pale. For as smart as you are, you can't see the obvious even when it's staring you in the face."

Kayla looked back to her, their eyes meeting. "You're only as artificial as you choose to be. I just hope that one day, you'll realize that."

Pale said nothing in response. Kayla let go of her wrist, enabling her to get back to work, which she did. Kayla's face contorted in discomfort with every dab of the antiseptic, and Pale had to fight back the urge to apologize every time it happened, but eventually, the wound had been thoroughly cleaned. Once that was done, Pale applied a bit of the surgical glue to it; upon application, the glue turned the same color as Kayla's skin, completely masking the fact that there had even been a wound there in the first place.

"That will hold you until we can find a healer," Pale told her. She lowered her head. "And… I must say, I'm sor-"

"Don't," Kayla softly warned, stopping her. "It's not your fault. I won't stand for you taking responsibility. This is on Sven, and only Sven."

Kayla brought a hand up to rub at her eyes, clearing the tears from them with one final sniffle. Pale watched her for a moment before settling back into her seat on the opposite side of the small boat, staring out at the ocean as she listened to waves lap at the nearby shoreline.

"What do we do now?" Kayla asked.

For the first time, Pale wasn't sure how to answer her question.

XXX

The boat continued to drift along through the night. Eventually, though, the shoreline started to come into view. Through the darkness, Pale saw the mainland fast approaching. A few people were moving on the beach, their shapes barely visible through the night and the haze. Kayla went to stand up, already conjuring flames in her hands, only for Pale to stop her.

"Wait," she urged. "I don't think they're hostile."

Kayla paused, then looked over to her, one eyebrow raised. "How can you tell?"

"They're not trying to kill us, for one. And for another… don't you recognize that voice?"

Kayla blinked, her ears quirking up. After a moment, recognition flashed across her face, and she allowed her flames to dissipate before taking a seat in the boat again.

"At least it won't be just the two of us…" Kayla muttered.

XXX

"Am I glad to see you two!" Evie greeted as the boat ran aground on the beach. She came running up to meet them, a wide grin on her face. "I was worried that you'd both be-"

She trailed off when she finally got a look at their faces. Evie paused for a moment, her grin fading. "...What happened?"

"I failed," Pale said softly. "Kayla's father is dead."

Kayla sniffled at that, and Evie gave her a brief glance before surging forwards and pulling her into a big hug.

"It's alright," she said softly. "Let it out."

Kayla gently broke the hug and pushed her away, shaking her head as she did so. "T-thanks, but… I think I've cried enough already. He wouldn't want me to be sad over what happened anyway… but thank you regardless."

"Of course." Evie looked over to Pale. "What about you? You don't seem like you're doing much better."

"How can you tell?" Pale asked.

"Believe me, you're harder to read than she is, but not impossible – part of being a merchant. And I can tell that you're not okay."

Pale let out a grunt. "Respectfully, all I want to do now is find a place to rest."

"Be careful," Evie warned. "The way you're carrying on now, I'd bet my entire caravan that you're going to be plagued by nightmares if you do that. The least you should do is come sit by the fire with the rest of us and enjoy some food and drink first."

"I am neither hungry nor thirsty," Pale rebuked. "I simply want to sleep."

Slowly, Evie nodded. "If that's what you think is best. You can take my wagon – my bedroll is already laid out on the floor inside the back of it."

Pale said nothing, instead turning and stalking away. Kayla went to follow after her, but Evie stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, no," Evie said sternly. "Not you. You're in worse shape than she is, so I'm going to insist you sit with us for a bit and decompress."

Kayla bristled. "Evie-"

"I mean it, Kayla. You're in no shape to be by yourself right now."

"But Pale-"

"Will do what Pale will do, and damn the consequences. You of all people know that better than anyone by now."

Pale tuned them out as she continued walking, eventually making her way over to Evie's wagon. She climbed inside and collapsed on top of the bedroll, then closed her eyes and allowed herself to pass out.

And true to Evie's word, the nightmares came to greet her for the first time as she slept.