Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols

Spark’s songs were notorious for their high-pitched vocals.

 

With high-note master Park Joowoo and vocal powerhouse Jeong Seongbin leading the charge, and Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon being decent singers themselves, all the members sang those grueling songs with ease.

 

Even Lee Cheonghyeon, the rapper of the team, was good at singing.  In the first place, the agency had graded vocal ability during auditions, regardless of position.

 

So, it was understandable to have confidence in the members’ singing abilities, but…

 

‘Still, isn’t this too high?’

 

This wasn’t just the main vocalists suffering. Even I, a sub-vocalist, was forced to hit high notes!

 

The last time I raised my voice this much was when I had tried to stop Nam Manager from driving home drunk, so this was too harsh for me.

 

“But hyung, if we lower the pitch here, the energetic feeling won’t come through.” 

 

Watching my reaction, Lee Cheonghyeon lowered the key and played the audio again. Sure enough, the song felt less vibrant than before.

 

Even if I wanted to make them number one, they had to lower the key because of me, ruining the song and only receiving harsh criticism.

 

“This is no good.”

 

“Right? And at this level, our members can handle it!”

 

Does that ‘our members’ include me? If so, you’re mistaken.

 

‘In the web novels about systems… they often give you special abilities or level you up.’

 

I recalled the various web novels I had recently finished during my break. They were my only source of information about the system.

 

I was so desperate at times that I even considered emailing the authors, asking how their systems worked, even though I knew how absurd that would be.

 

Although I hadn’t read more than 100 chapters of any, I had learned enough to make the system feel less foreign.

 

And I started to have new complaints about my boomer system.

 

While other systems handed out money and magical items, this system which used the mask of  Manager Nam, had been stingy lately.

 

‘Do I not get experience points or something this time?’

 

Just as I grumbled to myself, the system appeared.

 

+

 

[SYSTEM] Work instructions from the ‘Superior’ have arrived.

 

▶ Judging from your nonsense, Assistant Manager Kim must have a lot of free time these days. Truly busy people wouldn’t have time for idle thoughts.

 

+

 

Yeah, f*ck you, I have no expectations anyway.

 

I had no other choice. From today onward, I’d consider my vocal cords dead.

 

Seeing my determined expression, Lee Cheongyeon asked.

 

“Why are you so worried? Your vocal range is enough, hyung.”

 

Yeah, I’ll just pinch my thighs, and the notes will come out somehow.

 

And I’ll be in the Hall of Shame of the world’s most ugly male idols. I could already hear the tearful high notes that would be sold as video shorts.

 

In front of my darkened vision, the system that was darker than pitch black appeared again.

 

+

 

[SYSTEM] Work instructions from the ‘Superior’ have arrived.

 

▶ By the way, Assistant Manager Kim, did you order something? A package came. Don’t use the company as your personal post office.

 

+

 

The only things I’d ordered were the studio estimates and the demo tape Cheonghyeon was supposed to submit this week. What was this thing talking about?

 

I grumbled to myself.

 

And as always, the system only said what it wanted to say…

 

+

 

[SYSTEM] ‘Surbordinate’ is being notified of the ‘OJT’ period.

 

▷ Period: 20XX.03.XX~20XX.03.XX (Total 7 days)

 

▷ Purpose: Strengthen job skills through group training

 

▷ Participants: All 6 Spark members

 

▷ Conditions: Achieve Minimum of 5 hours of practice per day for each task during the OJT period

 

▷ Reward: 1 skill proficiency point for tasks that meet the 5-hour practice minimum for all 7 days

 

+

 

(TL note: OJT = On the Job Training.)

 

‘Skill proficiency increase?’

 

…I immediately took the bait.

 

This was an offer that I couldn’t ignore.

 

I hadn’t been able to increase my proficiency recently, no matter how much I practiced or even performed on the actual stage.

 

Moreover, this time, it wasn’t just me.

 

Even the Spark members, who had already reached a certain level of skill and weren’t growing much anymore, had a chance to sprout up like bean sprouts.

 

‘It’s a shame that high school isn’t on break right now.’

 

I sighed inside. Why are there so many minors on this team!

 

While I was lamenting, Lee Cheonghyeon asked me.

 

“What are you thinking, hyung?”

 

“I’m thinking we all need to work our butts off to make sure your song shines even brighter.”

 

I smiled brightly at Lee Cheonghyeon, who had been working hard to create a great song. It seemed a desperate special training plan was needed.

 

But before that.

 

‘Instead of just reaching the minimum of 5 hours of practice, how about increasing skill proficiency by 1 point for every 5-hour increment?’

 

According to the system’s suggestion, even if I practiced 10 hours a day for 7 days, I would only gain 1 proficiency point.

 

But if it were calculated in 5-hour increments, I could earn 2 proficiency points from the same 10 hours of practice.

 

Since I’d be working myself to the bone anyway, I figured I might as well maximize the rewards.

 

+

 

[SYSTEM] Work instructions from the ‘Superior’ have arrived.

 

▶ Assistant Manager Kim, the company isn’t obligated to fulfill every employee’s wish. That’s up to the company to decide. You’re overstepping.

 

+

 

The law also says that someone who works 4 hours should be given a 30-minute break, you piece of sh*t.

 

When I kept arguing, the system finally accepted my proposal.

 

It should have just agreed from the start. Anyway, superiors never seemed to think for themselves unless they were pushed by their subordinates.

 

Now, the remaining issue was how to convince the others.

 

10 hours sounded easy, but if we excluded the time spent on workouts and classes, it meant they would have almost no time to rest during those 10 hours of practice.

 

What rest time? By their standards, they’d have to cut down on sleep, too.

 

The recommended amount of sleep was 8 hours a day, but these guys were already sleeping way less than that. I didn’t want to cut their sleep time even further.

 

‘Should I just practice 20 hours a day myself to match their average level…?’

 

As I was contemplating ridiculous ideas, Jeong Seongbin approached me.

 

“Iwol hyung, what are you thinking about?”

 

Of course, I should discuss this with the leader first.

 

I didn’t lack confidence when it came to persuading someone with words. That didn’t mean I was particularly confident either.

 

Still, convincing kids who were much younger than me was more of a matter of conscience than skill, so I steeled myself and began to speak

 

“You know, Seongbin, do you believe that effort leads to results?”

 

Then I gulped nervously.

 

I felt uneasy about saying this to Jeong Seongbin, who had struggled for a long time as a trainee and had been distressed by poor evaluations.

 

That was why I approached Seongbin first, intending to persuade him.

 

Seongbin’s answer was completely unexpected.

 

“Of course. Why do you ask?”

 

“Huh? You really think so?”

 

“There’s nothing that can’t be done with effort. Oh, of course, I’ve come to know that there are times when things take more effort than expected.”

 

Jeong Seongbin smiled bitterly. So I exaggerated my reaction, hoping Jeong Seongbin’s mood wouldn’t go down.

 

Thankfully, his expression soon returned to its usual gentle demeanor.

 

“But in the end, I debuted, right? I believe in the power of effort.”

 

F*ck, you’re all grown up. You’re mentally more mature than me…

 

I was so proud that I wanted to give Jeong Seongbin the ‘Excellent Colleague of the Month’ award.

 

How must he have felt, having his mental state shattered like that, if his debut had been endlessly delayed as it was before?

 

And furthermore, after enduring such difficult times and finally debuting, how must he have felt when the team disbanded?

 

All sorts of random thoughts crossed my mind. I tried to shake off those thoughts by running my hands through my hair.

 

Let’s focus. Right now, the priority was selling these guys on the plan.

 

Putting on my best innocent smile, I asked Jeong Seongbin

 

“Let’s say if you train hard for a week, you’re guaranteed to see results. Will you follow my lead?”

 

“Guaranteed?”

 

“Yes, definitely.”

 

The system didn’t lie. It just omitted certain things.

 

Jeong Seongbin tilted his head for a moment and then answered.

 

“I will.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I’d probably do it even without guaranteed results. I trust hyung wouldn’t make us do anything bad.”

 

What a touching answer. This teaching assistant will give his body and soul to train you…

 

As I was basking in the wave of emotion, Jeong Seongbin suddenly opened his mouth with a serious expression.

 

“But, hyung.”

 

“Yeah, what is it?”

 

“Hyung… You’re not in a cult, right?”

 

A cult?

 

Me, a guy who woke up one day to find he’d lost his degree, job, and even had a career change? I should be the one doubting the existence of any higher power.

 

I was so dumbfounded that I was about to stand up, but Jeong Seongbin’s expression was too serious.

 

He seemed genuinely worried I was about to give him a holy sermon.

 

I wasn’t in a cult. I felt wronged.

 

 Of course, being wary of cults is important, but still!

 

I ran my hands over my face.

 

And with a smile that seemed to give up everything, I said to Jeong Seongbin.

 

“Listen carefully, Seongbin.”

 

“Y-Yes!”

 

“Actually…”

 

I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them. And I looked at Jeong Seongbin with all the sincerity I could muster.

 

“This week… is when the energy of the universe aligns.”

 

“…What?”

 

Jeong Seongbin made a dumbfounded expression.

 

Yeah, you don’t get it, right? I don’t get it either.

 

However, I didn’t want to be labeled as a dangerous person and kicked out before achieving all the KPIs, nor did I want to miss the chance for all the members to experience their third growth phase.

 

So, I placed my hand on my chest, doing my best to appear as sincere as possible, and spoke.

 

“The ancestors told me. If I had known sooner, I would have told you earlier. Sorry about that.”

 

“Uh, hyung.”

 

“You know ancestor spirits are part of the local religion, right? I’m seriously not part of a cult. I’m not going to go around preaching, I’m not going to buy any religious items and wear them, and I’m definitely not going to try selling you some weird ionic carbonated water. I promise.”

 

I tightly closed my eyes and clasped Jeong Seongbin’s hands as I made this vow. Silence filled the emergency stairwell.

 

And a few seconds later, Jeong Seongbin’s laughter echoed through the emergency stairwell exit.