Ascending Endlessly: I Copy Skills

I stepped outside of the hotel room. The light blinded me a little; I'd just spent several days in near darkness. My eyes weren't the only thing that had gotten used to it- I had too. It was jarring seeing the daylight right after being inside the stomach of a Goliath.

I placed my hand against my eyes, peering through the cracks between my fingers at the bustling city. Even now, it all felt so far away. People, humanity, civilization... just how distant had I grown from it all? When was the last time I really became engaged in my humanity?

My brow furrowed as I lowered my hand. It was a good question. Have I lost myself? My identity? I pulled a pack of cigarettes out from my pocket. They had been nearly crushed flat. I pulled one out and lit it up anyway. I didn't smoke much, but cigarettes helped me to think when I needed them.

I sat against the wall of the hotel, continuing to watch everyone going about their days. It seemed so ordinary, despite the strange world we'd all been propelled into. How could people be happy here? How could they create a life?

Especially when I had failed to do so completely? All I had was an obsession with power. But even then, it felt different to when I was younger. When I was sixteen, I developed mana because it was fun. It was an adventure. A chance to become something. Now, my infatuation with it had grown darker. It had become the core of my being, the only thing I could latch onto. And as such, I had sacrificed what little 'me' remained for it.

Why? Why would I do such a thing?

"Fuck,"

I muttered as I blew out a puff of smoke. Agh. I was falling into unpleasant thoughts again. I have to remind myself of my reality. I am not less than I was. There is no such thing. I have only built upon my past self, for better or for worse. If I'm not happy with the result, I just have to work hard to change myself again.

After all, I have the ability to do so now. I have enough power to survive, at the very least, and potentially even to become the hero I'd dreamed of being in my youth. Well, that wasn't really my goal anymore. I chuckled as I thought about my former lofty ambitions.

But what was important to me now? Of course, I wanted answers to the mysteries which I'd started to uncover. That was obvious. And naturally, I wanted more power. But who would I become? What path should I take?

I have no friends or family. Does that matter to me? Am I lonely? No, not really. I enjoy my own company. So what, then? What is this hole in my heart? What's missing?

Fuck, I don't know. I guess it's another mystery to add to the list. However, I do have to find the answer eventually. I can't run from myself forever. I can't just absorb myself in my work and forget about who I am. 

Still, I have no ambitions besides gaining more power... sure, I'd like to purge The Gloam from the earth. But the reason is just that 'if I can, I should, and someone has to do it'. What do I actually want?

Alright. That's a goal. I need to find something I care about besides knowledge. I need to find something human, something that can allow me to grow as a person. However, for now, I had other concerns.

It took me a second cigarette to really start clearing my head. Emptying my thoughts and focusing on the objective was something I'd become very good at, but anyone, even me, would be shaken up after what I'd just experienced. I couldn't stop my hands from trembling. I wasn't sure if it was from excitement, fear, or something else entirely.

I had stepped my foot into something extraordinary. Other planes of existence. Not only that, but I'd had a uniquely bizarre interaction with a Goliath.

"Take heart".

That was what it said to me before giving me this necklace it pulled from its stomach. Is this the heart of the Goliath? It's so tiny. What can I do with it? I rubbed the marble between my thumb and index finger. It was cold and smooth on the surface.

I froze with the marble in my hand.

Hye-Rin. Is this what she put us through that nightmare for? She definitely got something out of Project David. Could it be a marble like this one? Something so tiny? She let them die for this?

I felt rage bubbling up from my core. I had to maintain it. It's good to keep it, hold it there, but I can't let it overflow. I have to let it simmer beneath the surface. Okay. If I'm right, this marble must have some kind of value. Well, of course it does. It's from a Goliath, some of the most powerful beings on the planet.

But how can I use it? What does it do? I was almost hesitant to keep it. I hated Goliaths with all my heart, but... that one was different. Blanketing over my hatred was an overwhelming curiosity. I was fortunate that my explorative nature could somewhat defend me from clouded judgement. 

And finally, before any of that was the equally important event in the C-Rank dungeon. The 'Mana Bomb' I'd shot off at the ghouls.

I pushed some mana into my fingers, extending tendrils beyond them. My mana control has never been this precise. I'm growing abnormally quickly. This isn't just a matter of having more mana. What the hell is happening to me?

I closed my fist and stopped the flow of mana, sighing. The fact remained that it was a good thing, even if I couldn't explain it. It would definitely leave an unfortunate nagging feeling in the back of my mind until I understood it, though.

So what do I do now? I feel like I should rest. I just had some crazy shit happen to me. It wouldn't be good to dive straight back into the dungeon, would it? I finished my cigarette, flicking it into the street and headed back up to my room. I only had enough money for another day here. Then, I'd have to go hunting again.

So, with the time I had, I would take it easy and focus on what I already know. The most interesting thing is definitely the planes.

I sat down on my bed, cross-legged. 

When I had the revelation that allowed me to sense them, it felt like a total shift in not only my perspective, but my internal feelings, as well. It was something similar to a psychedelic experience, I guess. 

Right now, I couldn't feel them. But if I entered that trance again, would I be able to reproduce what I'd done back there? Well, I have nothing better to do. I took some deep breaths and once again dove into the recesses of my mind.

It felt easier this time. I wasn't under the pressure of being watched by a Goliath, nor the responsibility of saving someone's life. I could drift off into thought much more simply and without worry. It was pleasant. I'd always been capable of immense focus, but I rarely meditated or explored the inner workings of my psyche.

I was more interesting in lamenting about the past. However, this was certainly valuable. I should do this more often, regardless of sensing other planes. It's good to clear my mind completely like this. 

I sank deeper into it, allowing myself to truly relish the experience, understanding it piece by piece.

First, I forgot my surroundings. I felt only myself; every follicle of hair, every slight movement of my muscles captured by my heightened internal acuity. Hours passed like this, my body growing stiller by the moment, until there wasn't a single movement to feel.

I fell deeper. I forgot my body. My mind was floating alone in an empty space, ignorant of the world around it. My thoughts accelerated rapidly, and I felt as though I had, once again, attained a sort of pure focus. And then, I forgot myself. Just as it happened, I pulled myself back out. It was like cold water being poured over you when sleeping. In fact, the state I was in wasn't entirely dissimilar to a dream. 

However, when that cold water washed over me, I could feel them again. The planes. I had more time with them now. Unlike before, I had a moment to explore. The room had gotten dark- night had come, but it was irrelevant how much time had passed. I wanted to feel inside one of the planes again, this time without any interruption.

Mana spewed forth from my fingertips. Which one... I wanted to feel inside the Central Data Engine. I felt robbed of the experience last time. Sorting through the layers of reality once more, I found the golden light which I seeked. By my will, my mana started leaking through to the other side.