Chapter 31—Chaos
Zoey ate like a prisoner let loose on a farm. Elisha too. David ate a little and suddenly lost his appetite. He nursed the cup of wine he’d been served, mind frothing with thoughts. He tried to shut out the chatter. Tara was telling a story. Something that happened some years ago. David felt eyes on him, but tried not to look up. He had to figure out how his powers work. He absentmindedly touched his arm, where a second ring had shown up after their battle with Galan.
He took a deep chug of his wine, wiped the side of his mouth and stood up. Silence descended on the room, all eyes turning to him immediately. Even Chloe who had slept beside him stirred.
“There will be others looking for us out there,” Tara told him. David nodded and stepped over Chloe’s folded form. He turned, leaned down to adjust the cloak Jeremy had given to him and then left the room. He couldn’t think clearly with all the laughter. A lot was rattling in his head.
Outside he found Hanna. She was by the door, sitting on the bare floor with her back to the wall. Cold wind reached them there, making them shiver a bit. David sighed, stretching. He should be sleeping, he knew that, but he was too worried. Fear, apprehension, anticipation; his mind was on overdrive.
Beside Hanna was an emptied cup. She’d eaten little too. She looked up at him and smiled. Her left eye was swollen shut and her lips will carry scars. Yet, she looked ready for a fight.
“Couldn’t enjoy the warmth in there?” She asked, grinning.
David scoffed, walking over to sit on the other side. He couldn’t understand why it’d felt his skin was being pricked by something when he sat back in there, but out here, he felt calm. There was nothing in the fading darkness. Soon the sun will climb over them and the subtle cold would shredded by the heat. David sighed.
“We might die,” Hanna said, adjusting and then moving her head sideways to look at him. David didn’t meet her eyes. “I heard you died.”
David shrugged.
“I almost died,” Hanna continued. “Elisha saved me. Whisked me away with that shadow thing of his before Jeremy could put his sword in me. And in that moment, all I could think was how silly I’d been…how irrational. With death in front of me, all I could do was fear.”
David stayed silent. He couldn’t recall if he’d thought anything before Galan’s authority over his hidden world killed him. It had been so fast; an instant. There was barely time to regret.
“He was so fast,” Hanna said, trying to hide her sobs. “You are right. We are weak as hell, David. This world is so heavy it will push us down, grind us to dust and we’d float away. Like many others who have come before us, and those who will come after.”
“So we give up?” David asked, a small spark of annoyance coming to life in him. He had disliked the old Hanna. The one who had jumped into the wild without a thought. He had found her unhinged and rash. Yet, she’d been so strong that he had envied that too. Now, she looked at him with fear.
“No, David,” Hanna said, wiping her eyes. David suddenly felt hollow. “We don’t give up. Else we’d be like those three in there. We can be scared, David, but I won’t be settling anywhere until I finish this damn thing and be sure that my—” She stopped, as if realizing something, then she sighed.
“I am not giving up,” She added.
David nodded.
He heard horses snort from the stables. The smell of livestock filled the predawn air. Hints of light were showing in the clouds. David reminded himself that he had to sleep, had to rest or he would break down.
“We are weak,” Hanna said again. “We have been lucky so far, but if we continue like this, we will die here.”
“I think I know how to fix that,” David said and Hanna did the slow head move again so she could see him. Her one eye stared at him expectantly. “Your tower ring increased, didn’t it?”
Hanna nodded.
“That was because you strained yourself. We will have to spar with them. They will help us get stronger. Although that will not help with mastering our unique skills, it will give us an idea of what to do and increase our essence control capacity.”
“You want me to fight that damn goldilocks again?” Hanna asked, her voice losing the usual bite it once had. David nodded, not looking at her. He sympathized with the fear she now carried. He had seen Tara blow off people’s hands, and heads. Claire’s skill was just as destructive. And Jeremy had killed Vin with an eerie calmness that seemed almost unreal. But this was important.
“On the brighter side,” David added. “I am sure he won’t kill you anymore.”
He expected her to say something mocking, but she didn’t. She sighed, leaned her head against the wall and closed her good eye.
David stood up, gave her one brief look and walked down, wet grass cold against his feet. Breeze whistled in his ears, tussled his air and cooled his face. It should feel good, but his mind was too busy to dwell in the small blessings of nature. He walked west, going toward the stable, and heard the thuds of hoofs as the horses paced. Behind the house was a small stream some distance away. He could hear the movement of water, so he followed the sound, using the back wooden gate.
The trees were scant, and the low bushes were thick underfoot.
He sat by the stream and dipped his feet into the water. For a moment, it was just him and the occasionally punctured silence. Now and then he heard something moving, leaves rustle, or the chirp of morning birds. Slowly he felt himself relax until he drifted into a weird state where he felt connected to everything—the sloughing water, the wet air…it felt like a strand stretching from him to all of it out there.
“You feel it now, yes?” A familiar voice asked, starling David. “Stop looking around, I am you as you are me. Look inward.”
David was confused for a moment, then he felt pulled back, sucked into a space of complete whiteness. The tunnel snaked around until he landed hard on an endless space of white. The boy sat down in front of him, legs folded under him. He frowned, as if disappointed. David felt himself pulled upright and then placed back down on his butt.
“What are you?” David asked, turning frantically only to find that everything was the same on all sides. Just an endless whiteness with no real tangibility, except the space they were sitting on. The boy still had his left thumb in his mouth like before. He looked five or six—eyes large and innocent.
“I am you,” the boy said. Then shrugged.” At least an aspect of you. An embodiment of a part you have not accessed yet. But I have been other people too. We have been given to others, too.”
“We? Others?” David leaned forward to touch the kid’s face, but as he got closer, he felt slower, as if he couldn’t really reach him, or perhaps he wasn’t really close. The distance never changed, even though he knew he was moving. “What are you?”
“Chaos,” the boy said. “A natural part of existence, a strand that supports the very fabric of life. From me, the deviants were made… one of which you have somewhat accessed, even though you go about it like an inept toddler.”
“Ironic,” David muttered, still confused. “What are you talking about?”
“You are the Master of All, David. The master of essence, in a measure. You hold the key to complete manipulation of essence. You can bend chaos to your will, harness it to become what you want….” He stopped, leaning to the side as if pulled by an invisible force.
David heard the whispers. The words were so distant they seemed unformed, splinters. When Chaos turned back to him, he was serious again.
“No one else has ever reached that point though,” the boy said. His skin seemed to crack. They shattered quietly, like puzzle pieces separating. They floated in front of David, eyes blinking individually. It was both revolting and intriguing. On one hand he could see the boy’s insides in tiny pieces, and on the other, it was like staring at a magic show.
The pieces fit together slowly again. And as they slid into position, David realized they were becoming…someone else. His father. The eyes, the mouth, the nose. The more it formed, the harder it was for him to see. His eyes got blurry, tears filling his eyes.
“What are you doing?” David said.
“Control,” Chaos said, his voice thicker, like his father's. “I am showing you what you can do. You have a shallow understanding of what you can do and I am showing you what is possible. Of course, turning into your father would be completely weird.”
David leaned to the side, trying to find defects in the face, something to tell him he was staring at a fake copy of his father. Yet, he looked so real. As if he was still there, in the house, listening to his father tell them to flee. His chest tightened and he felt a great compulsion to go for a hug. Then Chaos undid it, unraveling the pieces.
Once it reformed, it was the boy’s face again.
“That is quite a lot for you right now. Let’s play with something you already have a potential for.”
“How do we do that?” David asked, still dazed by what Chaos did before. He wanted to shake the image out of his head.
“First.” Chaos snapped his fingers and David’s shirts vanished. “You have to understand that depending on the insights you have, you can use the three tiers as a master. But even with your insight, your essence capacity could still limit you. You can break through to use a tier higher than you are allowed, but overtime, the power will consume you. You have done it before, haven’t you?”
David nodded, recalling the armor of fire. Chaos smiled. The boy was so tiny and yet terrifying.
“You have three tower rings,” Chaos said.
“Two and quarter, I think.”
“Once you have gotten a mark of the third ring, it means your essence control has been somewhat refined,” Chaos said. “One other thing you should note is that essence is in you as much as it is in everything else. Some can manipulate it to make something extraordinary, expanding on the volume they draw from themselves and around them.”
“What happens if we draw too much?” David asked nervously.
“Of course you die, don’t ask stupid questions,” the boy said, brows furrowed. David shivered slightly. He felt the ground under him tremble too. The boy smirked, waving David’s obvious question away before continuing.
“Let’s see what you can do. Gather as much essence as you can. Don’ worry about turning it into anything and don’t let go until I say you can.”
David nodded. He put his right hand out, palms up. He tried to exert his will, stretching it out there. The more he reached out the more frustrated he was. Nothing happened. There was no spark, no flame, not even a minor gust of wind. David groaned.
“Stop thinking about it as a flame,” Chaos said. “You can do more. But first you have to reach out to the source.”
David nodded.
He closed his eyes because he didn’t want to see the boy’s eyes watching him, appraising him. If this was chaos then there were others. Who were they? He let the thoughts go—all them. He tried to forget about Zoey and the others. Only him, he thought. There was only him here and now. He didn’t feel it all at once, it came only like a tiny pinch in the back of his mind. It reached for him, probing, waiting for him to open up.
“That’s it,” Chaos said.
David let it in carefully, cautious because he wasn’t sure what it was. There was no force, no overwhelming power. It was soothing, almost like wind brushing grass gently. It was intoxicating, even as it filled him slowly. Not in trickles, but not a gush either.
David felt himself sob.
When he opened his eyes, there was a sphere of multicolored strands of essence. They spun in parallels to each other, harmonious in a way that he’d never seen before. Perfect and beautiful. Yet, he could see the flaw, the rhythm shaking now and them--a testament of his terrible control.
“That is good,” Chaos said. “Pull in more.”
“What?”
“You need to take more… right now that is from you. But you can have more, you can take more. Watch,” Chaos said, and the white around them peeled off, flaking off until it was replaced with leaves, wind and water. The rush of the stream, the wind slowly moving trees. David shivered, remembering his feet in the water.
Then David saw it. Essence flowing to him as he expressed his will, pulling and tugging. It came from trees, from the water and the fishes beneath. It came from the air and the soil. The more he pulled, the harder it became to breathe. Yet, it felt so good, heavenly. He couldn’t let go. He could have more, so much more.
You might want to stop now kid, Ignis said, his voice hesitant, scared. You will kill yourself.
David ignored him. He saw the first fish float dead and was carried away. Then dried leaves started to fall, from a gnarled tree.
“Stop!” Chaos said, his voice was a storm, shocking David. He let go sharply, his control slipping with a snap. The essence David gathered exploded and he was flung back by the force of it. He crashed into a tree, moaned and passed out immediately.