Aristocrat (HP/SI)

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***

Hermione was about to say something caustic, but Richie raised his hand and whispered:

- Can you smell it?

Hermione sniffed and wrinkled her nose.

- Ew! - Granger clamped her nose shut and continued in a muffled voice. - It smells like a mixture of long-worn socks and a public toilet that hasn't been cleaned in years.

- Shh!

Richie put his index finger to his lips and called for silence. Making big eyes, he gestured as if he were zipping up his mouth.

An eerie scraping sound came from the corridor, as if someone was dragging a log across the stone floor. The sound was getting closer.

Hermione fell silent. This whole thing didn't feel like a joke anymore. Fear spread through her body in a sticky web and made the girl numb. Afraid to even take a breath, she watched Richard's actions in bewilderment.

Grosvenor reached his hand over his shoulder into his messenger bag and pulled out a toy robot, at least that's what Granger thought at first. She didn't even have the energy to be indignant about the fact that they were in danger and Richie had decided to play with toys. But that's what Hermione thought only until Richie pointed his wand at the 'toy' and it suddenly grew in size.

Round and large with amazement Hermione's eyes were presented with a robot as if from a fantasy future. It was a two-metre tall humanoid machine, steel armour, four flexible metal tentacles behind its back, which were three-fingered at the ends, oval thickenings on its forearms, and for some reason a poisonous orange colour. On the robot's chest was written in black paint:

KRAB-3P.

Next, Hermione found herself even more stunned. The plates on the robot's chest, arms, and legs slid apart, and Richard climbed into the opening.

The whole thing seemed insane to the girl. She had only been in the Middle Ages a couple of months ago, she thought, and here was robotic armour as if from the future or another planet. Granger suspected that Richie wasn't who he said he was, but was actually either a time traveller or an alien, like a progressor, as in the Strugatsky brothers' fantasy novels.

- I'm sorry, Hermione," Richard whispered, "I don't carry a second armour with me all the time. Hide, I'll protect you.

There's no hiding! Hermione's gaze fixed on the doorway, dizzy from the stench hitting her receptors, her body seized with cotton-candy weakness at the sight of the monster that opened the door to the ladies' room.

It was something horrible about four metres tall, with dull granite skin, a lumpy boulder-like body and a tiny bald head more like a coconut.

The troll had short legs as thick as wood and flat calloused feet. His arms were much longer than his legs, like a gorilla's, and so the giant club the troll held in his hand dragged along the floor behind him. And the smell! It was more deadly than the club.

The troll froze at the doorway and bent down to look inside. He wiggled his long ears, seemingly trying to make a decision. The troll's brain, judging by the size of its head, was tiny. Richard didn't let the monster think. His loud, speaker-amplified voice sounded:

- 'Gentleman, how dare you barge into the ladies' room? Pervert!!!

Hermione, who was standing against the wall opposite the door, shrank back so that she seemed to be like a ghost trying to seep through the wall. She looked like she was about to faint. The girl squawked at the loud and furious shriek of the troll, who received four swift and powerful blows from the steel tentacles of the robot controlled by Richie.

The troll found itself thrown back into the corridor. Before it had time to recover, it received a concerted four-tentacle attack on the bells and hardware that were covered by the leather loincloth.

The troll howled, this time in a thin voice. He dropped the club with a clatter, collapsed to his knees, and folded himself in half. Tears sprang from his small eyes.

- OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH! - He moaned in a long, squeaky voice.

And in Hermione's head, for some reason, it sounded something else entirely, "My bells!" It wasn't that Granger had suddenly learnt to understand the language of trolls, it was just that she had a rich imagination.

Richard, in his armour, stepping with a metallic clang and shaking the floor, stepped out into the corridor and tried again to strike with his flexible manipulators. But the troll roared furiously and grabbed the two steel tentacles with his powerful hands. The giant jumped to his feet and threw Richard into the wall. There was an eerie metallic scraping sound, and the troll had two severed manipulators in his hands. Hermione was horrified and waited with bated breath to hear the rumble of the robot crashing into the wall, but it didn't happen. The steel armour froze in mid-air. They floated like a magic broomstick.

The armour soared five metres high, hitting the high ceiling with its head-helmet, and crashed down with its feet right on the troll's head.

- You filthy pervert! - Richard's voice came from the speakers. - Do you like peeping at little girls in the toilet? We don't like that sort of thing here!

The troll staggered and fell to the floor with such force that the walls shook. The weight of the robot was enough to give the giant a crushing blow as it fell from a distance of one metre from the troll's head.

Richie in his orange armour continued to levitate. He pointed his hands towards the troll, and two jets of white, viscous liquid, which had the consistency of thick sour cream, hissed out of the growths on his forearms. In a few moments the carcass of the grey giant was flooded with this liquid and glued to the floor.

- Now that's what I call a cumshot! - Richard commented. - Hermione, run!

Granger couldn't feel her legs. Her muscles felt like cotton and wouldn't allow her to take a single step.

The slamming of doors and loud footsteps made the girl raise her head. She hadn't even realised the noise that had been raised here. Someone must surely have heard the loud thumps and screams of the troll.

Richard flew into the bathroom, landed, quickly popped out of his armour, shrunk it down and put it away in his bag. He then pulled a green platform-wing glider out of the bag, which grew in size in a flash. Taking Hermione in his arms, Richie jumped into the glider and took off. With a wave of his wand, he transfigured the window into sand, which immediately drifted downwards with a rustle. Ducking down, the pair of freshers flew out into the street.

Hermione clung to Richard's neck with her arms and wrapped her legs around him to make sure he was safe. It was about thirty metres to the ground - and it was only the first floor. At the same time, Richie was rapidly gaining altitude.

Granger's heart was hammering in her chest. Nausea rose to her throat, terror and delight flooded her mind. The girl didn't immediately realise that they hadn't been flying anywhere for some time now, but were on the roof of the Astronomy Tower.

Richard and Hermione flew away from the place where they had defeated the troll very timely. A moment later, Snape and McGonagall were in the second-floor corridor near the ladies' room, staring at the unconscious troll glued to the floor with a white substance.

- W-what is it, Severus? - McGonagall was confused.

Snape glanced at the troll with a knife-sharp gaze.

- A troll," he said dryly.

- I can see it's a troll! - McGonagall exclaimed hysterically. - But who could have done this to him?

- Hardly first-years," the Potions teacher continued to play Captain Hindsight. He bent down and began to collect a white mass into a test tube. - It was clearly some sort of modified glue that hardened instantly in the air, but was still incredibly strong and flexible. Looks like spider webs.

- A spider web? - McGonagall looked at the potions professor in bewilderment. - Severus, do you think it was some kind of magical animal?

- Unlikely," Snape kicked the torn off steel arm clutched in the troll's hand with his foot. - 'I haven't heard of animals that use steel hoses.

- Perhaps these hoses were brought with them by the troll," McGonagall suggested.

The Potions professor shifted his gaze to the window, then watched the sand on the floor turn to shards of glass and pieces of frame, then added:

- And it's unlikely that animals using transfiguration are capable of turning a window into sand to fly out through it into the street.

- It's someone from the senior year," McGonagall said with conviction. - That level of transfiguration... A personal broom. No less than a second year student, more like a senior who was afraid of losing points.

- Perhaps," Snape said. - Maybe not...

***

Meanwhile, on the Astronomy Tower, Richard was stuffing a scaled-down glider into his bag and pulling out a set of ninja clothes.

Hermione somehow miraculously managed to stay on her trembling legs.

- Richie..." she said. - If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead by now.

Richard's perfect hair was dishevelled and his suit was wrinkled. He gave his pale face an expression as if he were neither surprised nor frightened.

- Please," he said discreetly. - Hermione, do you have your ninja costume with you?

- No," Hermione shook her head. - Do you think I'm some kind of superheroine to wear a ninja costume under my uniform?

- You shouldn't. Luckily, I have a spare!

Richard, preparing to steal the Philosopher's Stone, carried three sets of ninja suits and a bunch of useful gadgets just in case, some of which he moved from his valise to his messenger bag. After all, he didn't know when the right moment for an operation would come up. He gave a set of clothes to Hermione and took out and enlarged a second set.

- Richie, who the hell are you?! - Granger asked.

- I don't know what you mean.

- Robot, glider, invisible suits," Hermione listed. - What are you, an alien?

Richard laughed out loud.

- No, Hermione. I've already told you about the magic workshop. All these magical gadgets are made by mages who work for me. What I really want to do is create an off-Earth colony in case of an apocalypse, so that if the worst happens, humanity can survive and repopulate their home planet.

- So that battle robot was created by wizards? - Granger asked, dumbfounded.

- Yes. Only that robot wasn't a fighting robot.

- Not a fighting robot?!

- Exactly.

Richard nodded, stripping down to his underwear to change into his ninja costume. Hermione blushed and looked away.

- What does the inscription KRAB-3P stand for? - The girl asked.

- Colonisation robot for aggressive environment third prototype, - Richard deciphered the abbreviation. - It's an armoured version, as indicated by the letter "B". It is far from perfect. In the final version of the robot-exoskeleton should be equipped with an artificial intelligence-assistant, armour and arms will be created from a super-strong composite based on layers of graphene and several strong metals, plus weapon mounts will be added.

- And the white liquid? - Hermione asked, squinting at Richard, who was hastily pulling on his jumpsuit.

- The wizards' attempt to recreate Spider-Man's web. So far, all that has resulted is a sticky mass that hardens quickly in the air. In the future it is planned to use this non-lethal weapon to catch representatives of alien fauna.

Richard changed his clothes and stared at Hermione expectantly.

- 'You're not dressed yet?

- Why?

- Hermione, we need to sneak into my bedroom and pretend we were doing homework. We need an alibi! Or do you want us to get kicked out of school?

- No! I don't.

Hermione started to pull off her robe, and then stopped and looked meaningfully at Richard.

- Turn away!

- I really wanted to see that," Grosvenor Junior said ironically, turning away from the girl.

Hermione's cheeks flushed. But all worries that Richard might peek when she was in her underwear were instantly chased out of her mind by a torrent of cold wind. Granger had never changed clothes so quickly before, probably because there was no such incentive to stay warm. Once she had donned the ninja costume, Hermione savoured the warmth that spread throughout her body.

- Richie, why are we going to your room? We could, like, go to the library.

- Aha!" Richard replied sarcastically. - Maybe we should go straight to the teachers and confess that I smuggled a bunch of artefacts into the school and nailed a troll? Hermione, saying we were in the library is an awfully flimsy alibi. It would discredit our name a little by having a boy and a girl spending time together in the same bedroom, but no one would suspect that we'd been out.

- Sounds logical," Hermione said. - I'm ready.

- Great," Richie pulled the mask over his head and handed Hermione a pair of sporty-looking glasses with red lenses, just like the ones he was wearing. - Put on the magical thermal imaging goggles. They'll let us see each other in the infrared spectrum. Put your things in my bag, activate invisibility and let's go downstairs.

Hermione and Richard sneaked into the Puffendu dormitory unnoticed. The door that opened 'by itself' caught the attention of the students. But when it closed and no one ever appeared, the people lost interest in the entrance, figuring that one of the professors had taken one look at the students and left.

In the Puffendui lounge, almost all the students of the faculty had gathered. They were huddled in the centre of the room and were heatedly discussing Professor Quirrell's appearance at dinner, his announcement of the troll discovered in the castle, and the epic fainting spell of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

The fact that all the students were gathered in the centre played into the invisible people's hands. Richie and Hermione snuck along the wall to the entrance of the freshman boys' room and quickly slipped inside. Luckily, the roommates were in the living room, which gave the boy and girl time to throw on robes and tidy up their appearance. It was only after that that they ventured out to everyone.

- Ritchie! - Finch-Fletchley rejoiced at the appearance of his friend. - Where have you been? Oh, you're with Hermione!

- Hello, Justin. Hermione and I were doing homework in our bedroom. What's all the noise? Aren't you supposed to be at dinner?

- Don't you know anything? - Justin asked in surprise. - A troll got into the school and we were all sent to our dormitories. We thought the Headmaster's decision was strange, though. Professor Quirrell said he saw a troll in the dungeons. And our dormitory is the closest to it, except for the Slytherins. The bloody Gryffindors were shoving and shoving their way through us and calling us stupid because we were afraid to go to our dormitory! It's fine for them to say that, they have a tower up there... I'm sorry, Hermione.

- It's okay," Hermione waved it off. - I wanted to go to Puffendoo, but it didn't work out, and I regret it.

Richard's mahophone rang. As he put the receiver to his ear, he heard the unfamiliar, tedious voice of a young man with a note of excitement in it.

- 'I'm sorry, Lord Grosvenor, it's Percival Weasley, Head Lord of Gryffindor, who is bothering you. I was told that Hermione Granger is with you?

- Percival, good evening. Yes, Miss Granger and I were doing our lessons in the Puffendu dormitory and we've only just learnt of the force majeure. You don't have to worry, Miss Granger is perfectly fine and is in our sitting room right now.

- Thank you for the information, Lord Grosvenor," Percy said. - 'I will be coming for Miss Granger shortly to escort her to the Gryffindor dormitory.

- Thank you for calling, Mr Weasley. We'll certainly be expecting you.

Padma Patil flew up to Richard with eager eyes. She kept her gaze fixed on the receiver.

- Richie-ee-ee-ee-ee...," said the Indian. - You have a phone and it works? You're going to let a girl call her parents, aren't you?

- Padma, honey," Richard smiled faintly. - 'I'd love to give you a phone, but this isn't one. It's a magical analogue of a phone that can only be used to call a few of the same machines that wizards have. You can think of it as a woki-toki. It's a toy for communicating with your own kind. I have a phone, too, but unfortunately Hogwarts doesn't have signal reception.

- That's a shame," Padma said sadly. - I see you and Hermione have made up.

- Yes!" Granger said defiantly. - We've made up..." she glared at the Indian woman coldly.

- I'm glad for you," Patil said nonchalantly. - 'Your sister said she was trying to reassure you, Hermione. I'm sorry you missed your charms lesson. Professor Flitwick was teaching the spell Wingardium Leviosa today.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Richard put his palms out in front of him. - Wait a minute. Padma, I've only just realised, what are you doing in our department?

The Indian woman burst into a ringing and melodious laughter.

- Richie, did you just realise it now? - Patil asked. - Oh, by the look of surprise in your eyes, Hermione, you've just realised it too.

- Yes, and it's weird," Granger remarked.

- 'It's not weird at all,' Patil replied. - There was a lot of crowding in the Great Hall. I fell behind, and when I broke through the crowd, we were already long gone. Susan noticed my confusion and suggested I go to your dormitory.

- It was the right thing to do," Richard said. - Padma, what do you think of our lounge?

- Very nice and cosy,' said the Indian. - 'Right, I'll go and see the girls. Hermione, come and join us.- Thank you, but the Head Girl will be coming for me soon," Granger said dryly.

After Hermione left, Richie went back into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

- Fucking hell! - He exclaimed, no longer holding back. - What was that just now! There's a troll at school! A FUCKING TROLL!!!

Ernie and Justin came into the bedroom. Richie immediately shut up and took on a nonchalant look.

- Richie, did you say something? - McMillan asked.

- Just..." Richard twirled his hand in the air. - I wondered where a troll could have come from and whether it was normal. For example, why did the headmaster send all the students to their dormitories when Professor Quirrell claimed to have seen a troll in the dungeon? Did Dumbledore send the Slytherins to their deaths on purpose or is he just having a marasmus?

- I thought it was strange too," Justin said. - Wouldn't it have been easier to leave us in the Great Hall with a few teachers and catch the troll in peace?

- Surely it would have been easier and more sensible," Richard said thoughtfully. - I think this is a deliberate attempt at murder.

Richard was referring to himself. That is, he didn't rule out that someone had decided to kill him in such an exotic way.

Why? It's not clear. But the fact that Grosvenor Junior had gone to look for Hermione and wouldn't be at the dinner was known by at least the freshmen of Puffendoor and Gryffindor. Assuming the murderer knew that Richard would find Hermione and where Granger was, he could have led a troll into the school and guided the creature to the right place - the girls' toilet on the first floor.

Or is it paranoia? Too many assumptions. But the keys in the toilet door... It's as if someone had originally planned to let the troll inside and lock it there. The door wouldn't hold such a giant for long, but it wouldn't let two freshers escape.

Granger wasn't the killer after Granger, was he?! No-one wants an ordinary girl wizard. But the Duke's son.

Or is it a coincidence?!

Richard never came to a definite conclusion. Of course, he didn't expect much good from his stay at Hogwarts. But until recently he had seen the castle as an unusual school rather than a dangerous survival attraction, like a space special forces training ground on a wild planet, where the personnel were periodically subjected to surprise inspections by monsters from the local fauna or saboteurs.

And yet Richard has made one important conclusion - the headmaster is dangerous to others. He is either insane and unable to make competent and adequate decisions, or Dumbledore is actually a criminal shadow leader, as Ron and Harry suspected. It's even possible that he organised the troll assassination attempt himself - he has the administrative resources to pull something like this off and write off the students' deaths as an accident. If so, then Dumbledore must have known that Richard and Hermione were in the first floor bathroom.

But what could have been the motive for the elimination?! The fact that Richie is the Duke's son, on the contrary, should stop any sane wizard from making assassination attempts. After all, it's understandable that the Crown would dig its nose in. They may not even sort out who is to blame, but organise a genocide of wizards, so that wizards will not be allowed to touch members of the royal family and the highest aristocrats from now on.

So the motive must be very substantial. Madness? Maybe. But what has Richard done so extraordinary in the magical community? A workshop! Yes, only a workshop and an attempt to promote the use of already known magical techniques not at the level of savages from the Stone Age, but at the level of space civilisation.

Power. Dictatorship... Yes, only total dictatorship, the desire to rule indiscriminately could push someone to the need to preserve the level of the Stone Age and the lack of initiative of wizards. It's easier to rule over dumb people. It turns out that Dumbledore is under suspicion here too. After all, he holds many important positions in the magical world: the chairman of the Wizengamot, the director of the only school of magic in Great Britain, and the president of the MCM. This man is no stranger to the lust for power. Did he dare to eliminate a member of the royal family to preserve the status quo? Then he is definitely insane and has a typical dictatorial deviation.

***

The next day Richard sent Darth Vader with one of the magophone tubes and instructions for use to Detective Potter. That evening he spoke to Scott, asking him to dig up any information he could on Dumbledore.

Scott said that he couldn't carry out such an investigation in the magical world himself and suggested involving professionals, for example, wizarding journalists, for which he received full approval and funding in the form of a payment order to Gringotts.

Surprisingly, the day after the incident, the teachers pretended as if nothing had happened. So what if a giant killer monster broke into a school full of children and fought someone! No explanations to the students, no semblance of an investigation, no call to wizard law enforcement. Nothing!!! The teachers and principal were quietly eating breakfast.To Richard, this behaviour of Dumbledore's further reinforced the idea that he was insane and dangerous, and it didn't matter by his action or inaction. It was not normal for a headmaster to fail to create even a semblance of security measures after a serious incident.

Richard was also surprised that none of the adults paid any attention to him. There was evidence at the site of the battle with the troll in the form of torn off steel manipulators, which the boy had not had time to pick up in his haste.

By evening, young Grosvenor had come to the conclusion that it was no longer worth keeping everything secret. He secluded himself in his bedroom immediately after dinner and took out the magophone.

- Richie, son, good evening," came the Duke of Westminster's calm voice from the speaker.

- Hello, Dad.

- Are you all right? - Gerald asked.

- I am alive and well, but there is one thing.

- Did something happen?

Gerald's voice became agitated.

- An attempt was made on my life, disguised as an accident. Or it was really an accident, but there are too many coincidences ...

Richard recounted the whole story of the troll attack to his father in detail and shared his thoughts. He also talked about the strangeness of the forbidden corridor and the possible storage of the Philosopher's Stone at Hogwarts.

- I'm already regretting that you had to go to that school," the Duke's voice was steely, barely contained rage. - Richie, try to stay out of trouble. Remember - your task is just to stay in this crazy school for five years and stay alive and well! You don't even have to do well, just as long as you don't get kicked out. Although this is acceptable, we can live without magic, but... The Queen has hinted to me privately that the Windsors need their own wizards.

- It's understandable not to seek adventure, but Papa is the Philosopher's Stone! With an object like that, we could live for a very long time.

- Stay out of this, Richie! - Gerald said in a firm, commanding tone.

- All right. What about Dumbledore?

- I'm afraid we have nothing to counter him," said the Duke sadly. - According to intelligence, Dumbledore is in the castle all the time and has great authority and power among British wizards. It's easier for us to remove the Minister of Magic than to do something to the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Our special forces have no access to the castle. The only option is to bomb Hogwarts, but that won't work either. Consider that you are hostages, as it was fashionable among medieval aristocrats, who gave their children ostensibly for the education of other lords.

- I see.

- Besides," Gerald continued, "this whole thing with the forbidden corridor looks like a big play. Even if there is a Philosopher's Stone in the castle, there's a ninety-nine per cent chance that it's a trap set by the headmaster. Perhaps even the stone is real there to lure the right wizard for sure.

- I've thought about it. I just don't understand who would be the target of such a trap?

- I don't know either," the Duke sighed loudly. - As for the assassination attempt, I think that your meeting could have been an accident.

- An accident?

- Yes, Richie," said Gerald. - The way I see it, someone with knowledge of the Philosopher's Stone, perhaps even the one who was the target of the trap, snuck into the castle; he led a troll into the school grounds to divert attention from the forbidden corridor. And the trick worked.

- Dad, that sounds logical, but there's one thing. We've been told that only students, faculty and invitees are allowed inside the castle. The walls are so high, there's no way anyone could get in without being seen. And there's supposed to be some kind of spell.

- The castle is old, there might be secret passages," Gerald replied. - Besides, it's possible that the culprit could be one of the teachers. Richie, describe all the teachers to me.

Richard spent half an hour describing all the teachers to his father in detail.

- Hmm ... - the duke thoughtfully stretched. - From your description, I can single out two suspects. Severus Snape - he used to be a member of a terrorist group of far-right wizards led by Tom Riddle. But was released on bail by Dumbledore, who claimed Snape was his spy.

- That's brilliant! So we've got a former terrorist teaching potions?!

- Yes, Richie. So be very careful with this man. I'm also suspicious of Quirinus Quirrell. His behaviour is not what it should be. A powerful wizard, capable of powerful sorcery, ran across the castle to faint in front of a crowd of witnesses. And what happened to him after everyone left the Great Hall?

- I don't know. He was probably forgotten.

- That's just it! - said Gerald. - Forgotten, and he could have slipped out at that moment and tried to get into the forbidden corridor. Not much of a plan, though, if you ask me. Snape could have done the same under the pretext of looking for a troll. But Quirrell... Here's what worries me - he's a grown man who hasn't suffered a single injury. He's run through the castle corridors before, so he's still got his strength. And now he's not afraid of losing his reputation and instead of quietly asking one of the teachers to escort him to the hospital wing, he faints in front of everyone. If he's such a powerful wizard, why doesn't he cast a spell to bring himself to his senses? There is such a thing, isn't there?

- Yes. It's called Enervate. By the way, Dad, it's supposed to be taught in Quirrell's science class in the senior year.

- Even more suspicious," the duke said. - It sounds like your headmaster is playing cat and mouse with someone. Maybe he's delusional.

- Dad, I've asked Detective Potter to gather all the information on Albus Dumbledore.

- Great! I'll contact Scott and get the data to MI6. Have them do a more detailed psychological profile of your headmaster. And remember, Richie, don't get involved in anything. Do you understand me?

- I understand.

- And call me every day." Gerald said in a stern tone. - I need to make sure you're okay.

- I will. Bye, Dad.