Antagonist Protection Service

Poison was, undoubtedly, one of the most effective methods of silent assassination.

At least, maybe aside from thrusting a dagger into someone's back, I'm sure poison was the most renowned assassination method around, and part of that might simply be because it's been around for so long.

Of course, for ordinary people, acquiring poison was not an effortless feat, and acquiring enough of a dose to kill a grown man was even harder.

But there was one thing. 

A poison that, rather than being locked away by authorities and utterly unattainable, was in reality available for purchase by any adult in most countries.

A poison that, rather than being skirted around due to its toxic nature, was actually viewed fondly by many, and even intentionally taken on weekly, daily bases for some.

A poison like that―was called alcohol.

People, young people especially, love to drink. I knew this as fact because, well, I was a university student; need I say more?

Fortunately, although the chances of getting someone to drink themselves to death was extremely unlikely, in the current situation, I didn't need to go that far. 

A drunk Hero would be infinitely more vulnerable than a sober Hero, and as his sobriety and senses diminish, his defencelessness would rise just the same. After that, even if it's someone called a Hero, even if it's someone weak like me, I can finish him off. 

To be precise, the dagger hiding in my backpack can do the rest.

Furthermore, just think about it. What time do people usually drink? It's in the evening, right? Anyone knew that the streets were a lot less active at night than during the day. Thus, if I take the Hero out for drinks, get him drunk, then bring him into some dark, secluded alleyway to isolate him, or perhaps even walk him back to his own bedroom...

All of a sudden, escaping this place――Didn't seem so difficult after all.

"Don't tell me, you... Plan to placate the Hero's belligerent temperament by treating him to some rounds...?"

"Oh, my sweet junior... How very brave..."

"I'm sorry you feel the need to put yourself through this."

"...?"

For some reason, when I asked about bringing the Hero along, such reactions were returned. It was only after thinking about it again for a moment that I belatedly realised: Who the hell would want to drink with a prick like that?

'Damn it, wait, that's right. Nobody's just going to sign themselves up for abuse for no reason...'

―But, if you think about it, wasn't that also something good about alcohol?

"I'm confident my plan will work. Getting the Hero drunk and buttering up to him will definitely reduce his abusiveness, won't it? Since I'll be training here for a long time alongside him, I don't want my life to be miserable. It's worth it in the long run, don't you think?"

Hearing my words, I hoped the knights would follow my logic and agree. They glanced at each other before collectively nodding. Finally, they turned to me with sly smiles.

"Hey... Junior. We still have a year here ourselves before we graduate and become real knights. If we pitch in, do you think the Hero will be less defiant towards us as well? I'm just not certain that someone like him would care..."

At that, I had to work hard to suppress another grin from surfacing, making do with a friendly smile instead.

"If it's with some cool senior knights like you, I'm sure even the Hero would be having the time of his life. He's also human, do you really think he isn't capable of mercy?

For another unknown reason, they coughed and averted their gazes.

"A-ahhh, well, you know... Ahem. Let's just say, I don't know about going to drink since I happen to be quite busy this evening―I have a fair lady's dinner to catch, you see―but well... Yes, yes, as long as you promise to inform the Hero of my good deed, I'll absolutely lend you a bit of coin for some drinks to loosen him up, how about it?"

"Oh, I have an appointment too..."

"Me as well, apologies."

"..."

'Didn't you invite me to go drinking tonight just a minute ago? Where's this fair lady at, huh?'

At the end of the day, all that mattered was that the Hero would drink. Whether I was alone in this endeavour or some of the other knights decided to tag along too, it didn't really make a difference. Of course, since I was probably going in alone, I would need an external source of funds, but they just said they would pay in my stead, so that's also sorted.

Rather, maybe I should think it beneficial that there would be less witnesses.

"Yes, yes, it's a shame that none of us can attend... But I'm sure you'll do well by yourself, right? Courageous junior! Hahaha!"

"Certainly! Oh, and junior! Make sure to buy 'Challenger's Ale' for the Hero; it's expensive, but it's sure to let you drink even Dwarves under the table. Yeah? You can get it the cheapest at this one tavern, the 'Dragon's Belly', on this street..."

"Aha, that's right, junior! But, watch out! I've heard stories from my sister in the church of the Hero possessing unmatched divine power in his body, so be wary―it might take a lot more booze than you expect to properly intoxicate him, even if he's a virgin at the tavern!"

While we ate, I came into possession of such useful knowledge as what tavern to take the Hero, and even what specific drink to buy, taking a mental record of each.

Simultaneously, a small pouch of contained clinking entered my hands which swiftly buried itself in my pocket.

Now that the plan was all ready, all that was left was to invite the Hero. Arguably, it was the most important step of the whole thing, and if it failed, everything I've planned for until now would go right out the window.

When lunch ended, we all returned once again to the training arena.

"Sir Hero."

Approaching the Hero the moment he also arrived, I put on the most amicable, polite expression I could muster, bowing my head and waist without hesitation.

Gulping down any and all concerns, a second passed before I received a response.

"Mm? The hell're you?"

I couldn't see his expression with my current position, but through his voice alone I could tell he was mad, likely residual from this morning. 

All I could do was hope he wouldn't take that fury out on me and do my best to make a good impression.

"My apologies. My name is Enki. Sir Hero, if it's okay with you, would you allow me to buy you drinks later this evening? Because you're the Hero, I thought I should pay my respects and treat you. A-as a person of inferior status..."

My voice trembled a little and trailed off towards the end there―a result of forcing something so ridiculously absurd out of my mouth, but I didn't think it was a big deal. 

The toughest part was managing to say all that with a straight face, but I accomplished it decently enough.

"Drinks, you say...?"

Evidently, the bastard in front of me was focusing far more on the content of my words than the minute details of the delivery, which I was grateful for.

"Yes. Of course, I'll be the one buying everything. All you have to do is sit back, relax, and drink to your heart's content."

Near-silence dominated the space for a while, causing my racing heartbeat to become even louder in my ears. Perhaps, even the surrounding knights were waiting with bated breath for his response.

To reiterate, this was the most vital part of it all, so I couldn't afford to let things screw up. If he rejected me here, my entire plan was spoiled right from the get-go. It all hinged on his acceptance of my offer, so if it doesn't go the way I want, I'll need to scrap and rethink my entire strategy.

Regardless of the cold sweat trickling down my nape, and all kinds of disastrous thoughts running through my mind if this were to fail, I eventually received his answer.

"Well now..."

Even though, as I slightly raised my head at his voice, the devilish smirk that bloomed on this asshole's face was certainly terrifying...

"I've heard that such 'booze' is what nobles and peasants alike consume in the wake of a gruelling day of menial and mental labour. Perhaps it would indeed be a positive recovery after that dopey, lard-bodied gorilla dared to lay a hand on my Goddess-favoured self. Of course, it goes without saying that you'd serve as the wallet even if you didn't suggest the idea first, so let us keep that inevitability straight. Yes, I see. Locate me after training. If you dally after swearing an oath to this Hero, there shall be severe reparations to pay, so don't even harbour the thought of backing out. Do remember―the Goddess wouldn't forget a sworn oath."

He accepted.

Unable to suppress the boundless grin rising on my face, I bowed my head again.

"I will not disappoint you."

It was much more difficult than I expected to squeeze out my voice without letting my inward celebration be known, but I got it done nevertheless without issue.

"Hmph. At least you seem to know your manners, unlike that insolent squire. Then, begone with you, peasant."

He snapped his fingers and turned away from me, indicating that our business was done with.

Like that, the plan was set in motion.