Chapter 46: Prank
Mystery perched atop Grace's head as she travelled to school, a stunt that was considerably easier to maintain than her usual seat on top of Kellela's. Grace's soul was more tangible to her than Kellela's, so any momentary lapses of concentration didn't cause her to plunge into brain tissue.
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For breaking your personal best distance record, [Astral Projection] advances to level 22. We should really reiterate all the reasons that isn't a great idea, but given there's zero chance of you actually listening, we can't be bothered.
Grace herself was fluctuating between the nervousness of facing her classmates again and glee that Gordon was going to get his comeuppance. She hadn't raised the slightest objection to Mystery's suggestion of revenge, only asking that whatever she did, she did while Grace was at a safe distance with lots of eye witnesses around. She hadn't even asked what the plans were, preferring to maintain plausible deniability.
Not that Mystery had any plans; she'd sworn revenge in the heat of the moment, without giving sufficient thought to the fact that she was a miniature floating soul-blob. That fact heavily limited her options. She would just need to see what occurred to her once she met the offending [Crown Prince].
Meanwhile, the offending [Crown Prince] was somewhat confused about Grace's irrational behaviour. After all, he'd openly declared he didn't mind even though she'd debased herself so thoroughly, and declared it in front of enough witnesses to ensure the whole school knew it. Why would she be so angry at him when he'd gone to such lengths to protect her dignity? She should be grateful to him. Obviously, the trauma of the conflict had left her unable to think about it logically, but he didn't doubt for a second that she would come to her senses given a few days. He looked forward immensely to the day she would come knocking on his door.
Had Mystery had the ability to peer into his deluded thoughts, she definitely would have spent the next week searching for a brain-bleach skill.
"There he is," whispered Grace as she entered her first lecture of the morning, nodding at a boy surrounded by empty seats, then carefully seating herself as far away from him as possible. He responded by blowing a kiss.
Mystery peered at the boy, dressed in the male version of the uniform, but in such a way that it was by no means 'uniform'. A normal kid who wanted to pretend to be cool might go so far as to undo the top button of their shirt and wear the tie at a jaunty angle. Never once on Earth had Mystery seen a 'cool kid' wearing a flower to school. His hair was slicked back with grease, his expression a permanent smarmy smile.
"Yeah, I hate him already, and I haven't even heard him speak yet," thought Mystery. "Looks more like a used car salesman than a prince. Or used carriage salesman? Used horses? I wonder if that's a thing here, and if they have the same stereotypes. Painting horses with black boot-polish to make them look lower mileage? I'll have to ask... Bah. Focus! I'm on a time limit here."
ding
Yes. Yes, you are. [Robust] advances to level 20.
"Oh, come on. You didn't even try with that one!"
Mystery drifted from Grace over to her target, but still wasn't quite sure what to do about him. There was the potential for turning him into a girl, but evil actions broke [Magical Girl Transformation], and him simply breathing the same air as Grace counted as evil in Mystery's eyes. The spell probably wouldn't take. Besides, without Kellela being present, she didn't have the mana for it. That left [Cosplay]. "Pity the instructor they arranged to teach me some combat magic isn't going to turn up until tomorrow. I bet all that grease would burn terrifically."
Prince Gordon chose that moment to stand up, climbing the stairs to the exit at the back of the lecture hall. A curious Mystery followed him as he pushed his way through a couple of doors and then into a toilet cubicle, closing it behind him.
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For spying on a foreign noble in a private location, [Soul's Eye] advances to level 35. And we're sorry, but there's no such thing as brain-bleach.
"Oh goddess... I've just followed a boy to the toilet. The things I do to protect the innocence of my magical girls..." thought the biggest threat to Grace's innocence to ever have not been born. "But why isn't he doing anything?"
Indeed, the prince was simply standing there, making no move to relieve himself. In fact, his actions were a carefully thought through—albeit utterly deluded—attempt at being considerate. If he arrived to the lecture hall early, no-one would sit next to him, because what sort of person would feel able to impose on a [Crown Prince]? Everyone else in the school was socially his lesser, so they were unfortunately unable to act familiar with him. If the seating ran out and someone was forced to sit near him, they always looked awkward or upset about it, so to spare them from such difficulties, he left the room while it filled up. Then he could return and sit next to whomever he liked, gracing them with his presence without them needing to commit a social faux pas.
If he was really lucky, and there happened to be an appropriate seat free, he could grace Grace with his presence, the shy but lovable girl that she was.
The chime of a bell signalled that the lecture would be starting in five minutes, so he reached for the cubicle lock, letting himself out. A few tardy students hurriedly washing their hands caught sight of him in the mirrors that lined the wall, spinning around and giving him all the attention he was due. The open mouths were a bit much, though, he thought; they could view his magnificence without trying to catch flies in the process.
He approached a sink himself, because faking the use of a cubicle was no excuse for skimping on hygiene, and in the process caught sight of himself in the mirror.
Then he looked down, which confirmed that, yes, he really was wearing a skirt.
A subtle voice at the back of his mind informed him that the appropriate reaction for a schoolgirl caught in the men's room was to squeal. His own thoughts pointed out he wasn't a schoolgirl, to which the first voice asked why he was wearing the girl's uniform, then. A brief burst of confusion followed, the behaviour tips of [Cosplay] being somewhat disorientating to anyone not expecting them.
"Still wish I could have fireballed him," thought Mystery. "Or given him crabs. This counts as a prank at best, not proper revenge. Still, at least I fixed his hair."
The [Crown Prince] hadn't even noticed that the slicked back hair he took such great care of had been replaced by oversized twin-tails, a copy of a girl Mystery had spotted in the lecture theatre.
And then his eyes narrowed in anger. "Oh great spirits of fire..." he chanted in some foreign language Mystery had never seen before, the patterns it emitted all sharp corners and edges, but which [Translate] had no problems with.
"And that's my cue to leave," thought Mystery, dropping towards the floor. The other occupants of the room seemed to agree, screaming and running.
"... immolate those who oppose me, that their evil may be cleansed through sacred flame."
The [Crown Prince] burst with fire, but souls weren't flammable. The fire washed briefly and harmlessly over Mystery in the remaining second before she passed through the tiles, the room beneath thankfully not containing any chained-up monsters. The others in the wash-room weren't so lucky.
"Wow, he took that pretty hard," she thought. "Won't he get into trouble for that? Oh well. I should head back home. Casting [Cosplay] still eats up most of my mana."
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Achievement unlocked: [Royal Pervert].
"Uhh... No. Not reading the description of that one."
Ignoring the suspect achievement, Mystery fled the academy, heading back to the safety of the womb.
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For carrying out a (too) successful prank, [Cosplay] advances to level 2.
For stretching the limits of your mana, [Increased Attributes] advances to level 10.
"Wow. That was a successful trip. I should go on outings more often."
Up in heaven, a highly troubled goddess overheard Mystery's thoughts and swore. Apparently, the amount of stress in her immediate future was only going to increase.
"So, what's the plan?" asked Xry'kl, finally reaching the limits of his patience. He thought he'd lasted quite well, given that the skeletal demon had remained silent and motionless for two hours already, simply staring at the city.
The skeleton responded with a rattling sigh, still staring.
"We cannot breach those walls," he declared. "And yet the [Hero] must die. His very existence is a threat to our master."
"Then what? We bring an army?"
"We could. We could break the city. Shatter its walls and slaughter its people, but we would still fail. The [Hero] would be spirited away, teleported to safety before we could reach him."
"Then what?"
"We wait. For as long as the [Hero] remains within, he cannot threaten our master. At some point, they will leave and come to us. Maybe tomorrow, maybe a decade from now. When they do, we shall be prepared to give them the reception they deserve. You shall wait here and bring us word once they make their move."
"Remain here? For a decade?"
The skull turned towards Xry'kl, the red glow in its eyes building.
"As you command," he hastily agreed.
The skeleton—the arch-demon Xander—opened another portal, bringing himself home and leaving Xry'kl alone.
Or so he thought.
"Never trust a man to do a woman's job," whispered a familiar honeyed voice right in his ear, belonging to the succubus queen Lilith, causing him to leap six foot into the air.
"Too damn right," exclaimed Melcrinash, the third of the arch-demons. "He wants to wait? For a decade? Whatever is that fossil thinking? If the [Hero] doesn't want to emerge from his shell, we just need to force him. They're always such self-righteous idiots. All we need to do is kill a few travellers, deliberately leave some survivors, and give them a message to pass on. 'Get out here or we'll keep on killing', sort of thing."
"That's certainly a plan," replied Lilith, without commenting on what she thought of it. "Why don't you get started on it while I make some enquiries?"
When Grace left the academy at the end of the school-day, she was surprised to find a royal carriage waiting to pick her up, and was even more surprised when it deposited her at the castle, where she was ushered into a private reception room with both parents. Very private. Not a single servant waited inside the room.
"Uh... Good evening?" she tried, curtsying politely.
"Not when we're alone," said the [King], waving a hand dismissively. "I don't want to be treated like that by my own daughter, whatever the rules may say."
"What's the matter? Why did you summon me?"
"No need to look nervous. We just wanted to check up on you," said the gently smiling [Queen].
"That's... nice?"
"So, is everything okay?"
"Is this about what that Jylaman prince did yesterday? It's unpleasant, but it's... okay. With our plans spoiled, it's not like I'll be at school for long."
The parents looked at each other awkwardly. "No, not that. Did anything happen to you today?"
"No? The aforementioned prince set the east wing on fire, putting a few students into the infirmary in the process. There were rumours going around about how he'd got angry when they caught him cross-dressing, but I wasn't involved."
"So no-one did anything to you? Not even back at home?"
"No? Father, what is going on?"
"The Recorder spat out a report that Mystery had earned [Royal Pervert]. Given her... differing culture... we were worried she'd done something worse to you than dressing you up in obscene clothing."
Grace blinked, taking a few seconds to work out that a [Crown Prince] still counted as royalty, even if they were from another kingdom.
"No, Mystery has been nothing but friendly and appropriate with me all day," she said, needing to employ [Etiquette] to stifle the giggle.
"Then however did she..." started the [King] before recalling Grace's earlier statement about a certain cross-dressing [Crown Prince]. "Oh."
"Oh," agreed the [Queen].
"I think it's best I have that record destroyed, and we all agree this never happened," declared the [King] to a round of nods.
Mystery (Human)
Age: -9 months
Occupation: Hero (L)
Skills:
- Soul's Eye (U) (35/100)
>> Sense Vitality (U)
>> Sense Soul (R)
>> Sense Mana (U)
>> Sense Light (C)
>> Sense Sound (C)
>> Pierce Illusions (U)
>> Sense Miasma (R)
>> Multi-focal (R)
>> Sense Spirit (R)
- Astral Projection (U) (22/60)
>> Sure Navigation (U)
>> Uncontainable (U)
>> Tether of Will (L)
- Robust (C) (20/40)
>> Hardened Soul (R)
>> Secured Mana (U)
>> Pain Tolerance (C)
- Stealth (C) (3/20)
>> Camouflage Vitality (R)
- Magical Girl Transformation (R) (20/30)
>> Age Correction (R)
>> Gender Bending (R)
- Light (C) (12/20)
>> Heterochrome (U)
- Increased Attributes (C) (10/20)
>> Mana Storage (U)
- Investigation (C) (2/10)
- Cosplay (U) (2/10)
- Mana Absorption (U) (3/20)
>> Drain Mana (U)
- Translate (U) (4/10)
- Telepathy (U) (5/20)
>> Reciprocity (U)
Achievements:
- Early Bloomer II (R)
- First Skill (C)
- Journeyman (U)
- Survivor of Zarklaxxos, the Arcane Infernal (R)
- I Broke The System, And All I Got Was This Lousy Achievement (E)
- Astral Explorer I (R)
- First Spell (C)
- I Broke The System Again, And Now The Administrators Hate Me (E)
- Spell Forger (R)
- Demon Slayer II (E)
- Monster Slayer V (E)
- Curiosity (U)
- War Veteran (U)
- Royal Audience (C)
- Diligent Hero (L)
- Studious (C)
- Pioneering Guider (E)
- Royal Pervert (R)