An Obsessive Man Raised Impurely

Part One: An Impure First Encounter 

*   *   *

 

The rainy season was in full swing the day I first saw him.

It was early summer; the humidity was so high

that breathing was

difficult. The vast sky was full of unwanted guests.

Like a page dyed black with ink, the sky reflected

my life before I knew him.

 

That was the day I

opened my eyes inside the novel where he lived and breathed. I was inside the tragic novel [

I’ll Walk On The Flower Path

],

a story that sacrificed all supporting characters for

the main character’s happiness. 

 

When

I opened my eyes, someone else’s memories flooded into my mind. Thus, I adjusted to this world without much struggle. Through the memories of this body, I realized that this body’s owner was Lillian Grey, Grand Duke Grey’s youngest daughter.

Lillian was a ‘time-limited’ supporting character who died of a terminal illness in the middle of the novel.

 

…Ha.

 

My first breath in this world was mixed with laughter.

 

‘I asked

to die

because I was living like a beggar. When did I ask for a different life?’ 

 

Even if I cursed God, there was no such thing as a

miracle return

to my original life. But I didn’t want that in the first place, it wasn’t exactly

miraculous

for me.

 

‘Because I’ve always wanted to run

away.’

 

As always, the rift started with a tiny crack.

 “Because you’re the older sister, you should yield.” “I don’t want to.” “Can’t you be a good elder sister to your sick little sibling and yield this time, daughter?” 

 

‘Elder sister.’

The very title was a burden for me

.  A title engraved

on

me like

stigmata

. I never wanted it.

 “Why am I the only one who always gives up everything?” “Because your younger sister’s body is weak.” 

I was born a twin; and just because I came out three minutes earlier than my younger sister, I was given the title of ‘older sister.’

 “Can’t you do it for your little sister?” 

My sister had been weak ever since she was born. My parents forced me to sacrifice my life for such a sister. The reason was simple:

 “You were born first, so you should yield.” 

It was far too difficult for a child to understand.

 “If you were born healthy after sucking all the nutrients while in my womb, couldn’t you make a small sacrifice for your weak sister.” “But…” “Why are you so selfish? You’re just like your father!“ 

I accepted the constant

reproof.

Because I was born first. As my parents said, I was a selfish older sister, I was born healthy by stealing my younger sister’s health.

My little sister was frail. As my parents said, I was a selfish ‘sister’ who made my younger sister sick, so I eventually thought it was natural to make concessions and live like a sinner

born

. And because

no one ever said it was

wrong

or unfair

, I thought it was normal. As such, I grew up

accepting favoritism and inequity.

 “Finally you’re acting a little like an older sister. You should keep it up, hm? You have to get along because you should look after your younger sister when dad isn’t around.” “…” “Why aren’t you answering?” “…Yes.” “Good girl. Dad believes in you.” 

Dad praised me for the first time only after I acted as the proper older sister

. 

At some point, my own life became my sister’s.

The

good older sister who always yielded and cared about her baby sister more than anyone else.

That became my sole purpose.

 “Mom, you didn’t forget our promise, didn’t you? You said we could watch a movie together today.” “Oh my, where’s my mind? I completely forgot. Can we put that off until another time, daughter?” “Mom, did something happen?” “Ji-young said she wants to go to an amusement park with me today.” “…But you promised me that a month ago!“ “We can go see it some other time.” “I really want to go today.” “Child, why are you acting so immature? Can’t you let it slide this once for your sick little sister?” 

And only after everyone finally called me a ‘good older sister.’

Already

broken, I gave up.

 “…I’m your daughter too, mom.” “Who said you weren’t? I mean, think of it as a birthday present for your sister and let go. You’re a good sister, aren’t you?” It was also my birthday. It was as if I didn’t exist in my own life. Even in my parent’s lives, I wasn’t necessary. All they needed was a ‘good older sister,’ for my younger sister. “I wasn’t born just to be an older sister.” “Whoa, look at this child. Do you despise looking after your sick sister and being an older sister that much? Why are you so selfish?!” 

Was it really

so selfish to

want to be loved by my mom and dad at least a tenth of what they loved my little sister?

 “You have grown up and lost all your manners… I don’t know how something like that came out of my womb.” 

Small cracks piled up one by one, and my

battered

heart was left

spiritless and worn

.

Gradually, I let darkness

envelop

me. If I was swallowed by the deep darkness that didn’t let me go an inch ahead,

could

I fill

the

chasm in

my heart?

 

Even if it wasn’t possible, I’d rather sleep like this forever. While thinking so, I wandered into my dream. I hoped the

oblivion

would never end, but I was thrown back into the light again.

 

When I opened my eyes, I had a new name.

 

‘The youngest daughter of Grand Duke Grey,’ the protector of the Oborduz Empire. Inside

a

tragic novel I

had

read before. That was the new life I was given.

 

‘Since I despised being an older sister,

I’m now made

the youngest?’ It wasn’t even funny. But it didn’t matter.

 

Because the body I possessed was a ‘time-limited side character’ who

would

be sacrificed for the sake of the main characters. I would have died anyway, so there was no reason

for irritation

just because I opened my eyes again. 

 

‘There are plenty of ways to die.’

 

I slowly rose from the bed. I saw several maids cleanin

g under

an arched ceiling full of western murals which could only be seen at the

Louvre.

 

“It’s already been a month since the lady collapsed, Jeya

!

” 

A freckle-faced maid said

, moving the dustpan busily. “What if she doesn’t ever wake up…?”.

 

“May, watch your tongue! Don’t even say that nonsense out loud.

You’ll

get into a lot of trouble

!

“

 

They didn’t seem to notice that I was awake.

 

“Right, people don’t die that easily.”

 

Gasp! Startled, the dustpan fell out of the freckled maid’s hands.

 

“What’s wrong, May?”

 

“…Sh, she woke up

!

“

 

“What?”

 

“The Young Lady is finally awake!”

 

The

one named ‘May’ pointed a finger at me,

so t

he other maid called ‘Jeya’ turned around and opened her eyes wide. Shortly after, Jeya

regained her senses and

bowed deeply.

 

“I’ll call the doctor.”

 

“No need.”

 

I raised my hand to stop her.

 

“But, Miss…”

 

“I said I don’t need i

t!

“

 

I only raised my voice a little, but I already felt dizzy.

 

‘That damn time-limited setting.’

 

As I lowered my head due to the slight headache,

I glimpsed hair, colored pink as if someone chopped cherry blossoms and dyed the strands.

Then, fingers paler than white, thin wrists, and a hand-crafted frilled dress with gold threads.

 

‘It feels as if I’ll collapse and die if I let it.’ Still, I didn’t want to wait for that moment. I wanted to decide the end for the life that had become mine. 

 

“Please let me know if there is anything you need.”

Jeya’s

soft voice

was

filled with concern.

 

“If I do, can you get me anything I need?”

 

“Of course, my Lady. No matter what, we’ll get it for you.”

 

Dark brown eyes, filled with loyalty to the

Master

who had returned from the brink of death, shone brightly.

 

It

was amusing

. They didn’t even know that their

Master

had become someone else.

 

“Then I’ll ask you a favor.”

 

“Please leave it to me, my Lady.”

 

A

person

came to mind. The man who would make my wish come true.

 

The world’s greatest villain,

destined to

bring

ruin to this novel.

I wanted to meet him.

 

Because his role was to kill me, this supporting character.

 

I knew all about when and how I was going to die by his hands. The

memory of the

original plot had not yet faded.

 

S

omeone else might have tried to

run away from him as

quickly

as possible, but I was different. That

end was exactly what I wanted

, so it didn’t matter at all.

 

“I want to find someone.”

 

I wanted to meet him sooner than the novel’s original timeline.