An Egg’s New Job

The first thing I hear, like every morning is my alarm blaring from my phone. I use my handily placed cuddle buddy to attempt to silence it. Considering Bree the Blahaj can’t actually operate my phone, the plan fails. I roll over and silence the phone, and sit up on the edge of my bed. I rub my eyes to try and force myself to awaken. I stumble over to the shower to start getting ready for the day. It is the day before Halloween. I realize that with some trepidation. I have no idea what the other girls have planned for me for tomorrow. I told Luna to just pick me something. I slightly regret previous me actions. Previous me is always an asshole, setting me up like this. Buuuuuttttt… future me can go kick rocks. And tomorrow is a problem for future me. Anyways, time to clean my teeth. I eventually finish getting ready and head for work. At this point I am getting fairly decent at the job. I still can’t handle the more complicated problems, but I am in the groove. “Nothing can throw me off.” I say as I nearly trip leaving my own apartment. “Well if that wasn’t a self fulfilling prophecy I don’t know what is.” I continue my journey to work, making it just before I need to clock in. I rush to my desk so I can pretend to be a functioning member of society. I pull up my work email and everything else I need to do my job, like Reddit. I open up reddit and start browsing through ProgrammerHumor, wondering what the random theme for the day will be. There isn’t always a theme, but sometimes they get focused on one specific topic.

I hear someone walking over my way, I turn to see Luna is cautiously looking at me. “Z, you know how you told me to make all the preparations for your costume tomorrow? Well I have everything at our house. If you would please join me early tomorrow morning we can get you prepared. But there are a few things I will need you to do tonight.” Luna hands me a list of tasks I need to do, things like shaving my legs and arms. Jokes on her, I already do that. I hate my body hair.

“Actually this will be really easy, I normally shave. Not that I have much body hair, but I hate it so I remove it regularly.” I respond somewhat proudly. The only response I get is an incredulous look from Luna as she walks away. 

I hear whispered tones when Luna gets to her desk “Was I ever that bad? That dense egg.” Then giggles. Not knowing what that is about I ignore it. She must be talking about something else. I get a ping on our messenger app which is Luna’s address. Wait… I just got a pretty girl's home address. But it is to fit me into a maid dress. Still a win, regardless.

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully and I head home. Having finished the Adventures of Zoey the tech sniper in Mass Effect, I started a game of Cyberpunk, featuring Zoey the tech sniper. What can I say, I have a specific type of character. I call it a bit early and make sure my alarms are also set early so I can get over to Luna’s place tomorrow, for the costume. Whenever I have that thought my stomach gets twisted into knots. Must be nerves. Again I cuddle into Bree to help me relax.

My alarm goes off again, mumbling “Why must you do it? Just let me sleep. That beautiful lapse of thought and worry.” I get out of bed and get ready for the day. Hurrying, I head over to Luna’s. My GPS tells me where to go, and I dutifully follow the instructions. I sit in my car staring at the front door to the house, it is surprisingly large, it looks like it can easily be 6 bedrooms. Can I really do this, I think to myself. While I am lost in thought my phone beeps and pulls me out of my head. I see a message from Luna saying “Get out of the car and come inside.” Again I dutifully follow instructions because it is too early in the morning to think for myself. Before I get to the door, it creaks open, much like you would expect a haunted house that is going to scare you inside out.

I see Luna in a sexy french maid outfit, one that is barely on the side of work appropriate. “Please follow me, my cute maid.” Luna says as she offers me her hand. I take it and follow her to the master suite. She continues “I was able to guess your size pretty accurately because you seem to be a similar size as I used to be, or I am psychic, take your pick.” The first part of that sentence makes no sense to my non caffeinated brain. Luna then moves me over to her bed and pushes me down onto it. “Alright Z, time for the fun part. In order to properly get you into the maid mindset I am going to give you a makeover. You don’t get any say in the matter. Just sit there and be a good maid for me.”

I went from having a non caffeinated brain to no brain. I swear I could feel it leak out of my ears due to the sheer heat coming from my blush from what I was just told. But I make no movements from my current position. Luna comes back over and pushes me back onto the bed. Saying “This position will make it much easier for me, don’t worry your pretty little head over anything. I’m in control.”

“Eeep, ok…” I stutter out.

Luna proceeds to straddle me with a bag full of cosmetics and various other things. I do my damndest to maintain any sense of composure and not have a certain visitor pop up uninvited. It goes decently until Luna does her best impression of a cat, and wiggles to find a comfortable spot. There is no fighting against the onslaught I am facing, a tent starts to form. I cautiously look at Luna in fear and embarrassment only to her smirking face staring back down at me. “Is someone enjoying themselves?” she says with mirth as she continues to wiggle. “Well no time for anything that fun, sorry cutie.”

I suddenly find myself unable to breathe. My heart skips a beat, and all my muscles go slack. I don’t think I could move if I wanted to. The only thing that escapes is the air from my lungs in a very light moan “uuuhhh”. Her smirk intensifies and she goes to work, applying layer after layer of cosmetics to my face. She starts with a foundation and layers expertly everything else. She moves my face and head to suit her every whim, I realize she is treating me like a doll. A thing to play with and do what she wants. This thought reinforces the steel pole holding the tent up. After what seemed like an eternity, Luna finishes and gets off me. She lends a hand to help me up, but uses the momentum to shove me into her walk in closet. I feel some fabric thrust into my hands and hear the door close behind me.

“Go ahead and get dressed in your costume Z, I will be waiting. Come out of the closet when you are ready, but we do need to be getting to work soon.” I hear Luna say through the door. I look at the black and white garments in my hand, and do as ordered. I strip from my clothes, and put on the ones she bought for me. I stare dumbfounded at the clothes as I try and figure out how to put them on. Eventually figuring it out I step out of the closet. I try to find Luna only to be surprised when a cold fuzzy thing is slammed down on my head. “Can’t forget the wig, and the final touch!” I hear my attacker say from behind. I then feel a headband put on my head. Before I am able to see a mirror, she pushes me back onto the bed and slips some shoes on my feet. I am then marched out of her house into her car. I zone off as she drives us to work. I wonder how I got to my current point, in a cute girl's car as she drives us to where we both work. Wait, I just realized I don’t know how I look. I pop open the passengers sunshade to see if there is a mirror there. I can see there used to be, but not any more, and none of the other mirrors give me a good look at myself. Luna obviously knows what I was attempting to do because I hear her pipe up from the driver's seat. “I removed the mirror, I don’t want you to see yourself until we are at work. It is going to be a surprise to you as much to everyone else. She then puts her hand on my thigh and squeezes.

We finally get to work, and I walk demurely behind Luna as she heads in, my nerves (and the constant teasing) playing games with my head. It is then that it dawned on me, I don’t have my badge, wallet or any other identification. I am at the complete mercy of Luna and my coworkers. I try and get closer to Luna to make sure I can get into the building. I continue to follow her to our wing. I quietly inform Luna that “I don’t have a badge or anything. I can’t leave and re-enter the office without somebody else.”

Luna stops for a brief second and replies “That is ok, stick close to one of the other girls and we will make sure you are taken care of sweetie.” She continues heading towards where our seats are. She heads down the aisle to her desk , and I head down mine. Before I manage to get to my desk I hear a yell from the other aisle. I can’t tell exactly who it was, but they were yelling for a group photo. I turn around and go to join the girls for our group photo.

When I turn the corner to head towards our break room I can see the group ahead waiting for me to join them, I hear a chorus of “you are so cute”, “Wow, Luna did a great job on you”, “Super prettttttyyyyyyy.” again I couldn’t tell who said what, because the blush growing on my face seemed audible to me and dulled everything else. I finish walking over to the rest of the girls and join them.

“Thanks everyone. I still don’t actually know what I look like. Luna was being a meanie and not letting me see, and before I could see myself in my blank monitor someone called for pictures.” I chuckled out. I could see Luna laugh and wink behind the rest of the group. Lily walks over with a camera and a tripod. She is wearing a very formal maid outfit. It covers her from head to toe. She looks very much like what you would expect a Victorian housekeeper in charge of unruly maids to look.

“Alright girls, line up and let's get a group photo!” Lily explains “I am going to set a 30 second timer so I can join. And Z thank you so much for joining us silly girls for halloween.” She then walks over behind the rest of the group for the photo. We all smile and pose for the camera.

After the picture is taken I see some people grab phones and just disband slightly. “Hey Lily, I have been spending so much time with you and the girls, that I often find myself thinking of myself as one of the girls. But sadly I am not. I mean look at me, I’m solidly in the dude camp.” I sighed out at the end.

I just hear a giant guffaw from my right, I turn to see Luna laughing. “Sorry I saw a funny meme on my phone. What were you saying?” She quickly exclaims.

I feel a hand on my shoulder to see Alice looking at me. “Now is probably not the best time to claim that my dear Z. Let's go find you a mirror.” She then uses my shoulders to direct me around until we find a full length mirror in the supply closet.

I am finally able to see myself in my full glory. And I almost don’t recognize myself. I see a very cute girl in the mirror dressed adorably. Alice reaches around to close my jaw after it dropped to the floor. I turn to face her and with her other arm she traps me between her and the wall. I look down at her lips and back to her eyes, which are intently staring into me. “Ummmmm, Alice?” I try and say, but before I am able to she lifts my chin up and plants a kiss on my mouth. My knees go weak and I just lean into her. Mouth slightly opening, which just gives her further incentive as I feel her tongue enter my own mouth. As quickly as it started it ended, and I feel myself being moved. The next thing I see and remember is my computer in front of me. I can see my reflection and I can’t help but smile at what I see.

In the other aisle I overhear parts of a conversation, I think between Luna, Alice, and Lily. “No fair, you cheated.

“What can I say, I take what I want. You did way too good of a job.”

“You know if she complains, I will have to tell HR?”

“She won’t. Trust me.”

I manage to take my eyes off my reflection and turn on my computer. I start to work and quickly get lost in that for the remainder of the day. Eventually Luna comes over to my desk “ready to head home? Get you changed back into your clothes. Then you can do what you would like.”

“Thanks, it has been a weird day. Good but weird.” I reply as I follow her to her car. Once we get in I continue “I have a question if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, go for it” Luna responds cautiously.

“Well… and I can’t think of a good way to phrase this. But I always assumed Alice was a lesbian. She is always in flannels and the like. From what I have seen in Reddit she is the very example of a butch lesbian.”

“She is, why do you ask?”

“Ummm, she kissed me today. It was really nice, but weird. It must have been her messing around. Nevermind.” I say flatly, I just stare out of the window of the car watching the horizon pass by.”

I can hear Luna start to say something and stop like 5 times before giving up. I see from the mirror that she has a slight concerned look on her face. We finally get to her house, I grab my clothes and head back to my apartment. I slowly disrobe, lost in a haze of what is going on, and get in the shower. I just stand in the shower and allow the water to run over my body.  When the water started to grow cold I finally turn the shower off, dry off and go to sleep.